Cheating Husbands – Facts and Advice
The last thing you want to think about is the fact that your husband could be cheating on you. But for many women out there today, it’s a reality they have to face. While many women have also cheated on their husbands before, it is more common for men to cheat. It is estimated that around 50% of men will cheat on their significant other at some point in their lives.
Not only are men more likely to be the ones to have an affair, but the more money a man makes, the more likely they are to cheat on their wives. This is due to the fact that more money usually attracts more power and with more power comes more women. But this isn’t the only instance where a man is more likely to cheat on their wife.
It turns out, that – not much to our surprise – men are more excited by the idea of having sex with someone new. If a man feels that he’s not getting enough sex or isn’t as satisfied in bed as he’d like to be, he looks for other sources to satiate his needs. Not only do they cheat because of their lack of sex, but they actually feel justified in having an affair for this reason.
Another important tidbit about men having affairs is that they usually choose women that are younger than their wives. These women are usually single and young enough to not understand the complications that an affair has on a marriage. Although men are the more likely out of spouses to cheat, they actually are the least likely to end their marriage and leave their wives.
When you suspect your husband may be cheating on you, there’s only so much you can do. In order to be sure, here’s all you should know about cheating husbands.
Why Men Cheat
There are many different reasons why a man would cheat on his wife. The important thing to remember before we talk about why your husband cheats is that it is NOT your fault in any way shape or form. They are solely responsible for their cheating ways.
Now that we have that out of the way, we can talk about why men really cheat.
- Primal instinct
The truth of the matter is that humans aren’t supposed to be monogamous creatures. We are hardwired to mate for survival – and for men, that means getting with as many women as possible in order to continue their blood line.
While this may sound like a real-life fantasy, it’s true. Men can produce millions of sperm in a single day. They can have an infinite number of children. These genetics drive their primal instincts to make the decision to cheat on their wives.
- They’re insecure
Some men feel the need to cheat in order to prove to themselves that they’re attractive and worth it. When a man is feeling insecure, they feel good knowing that someone other than the person they’re married to wants them. This leads men to cheat in order to feel better about themselves.
- They aren’t satisfied in their sex lives
This is a reason that many people think is the main reason men cheat on their wives, but it’s actually not. It turns out, that only 8% of men who have cheated say it’s due to dissatisfaction in their sex lives. Although it’s not the main reason, it is a factor that causes men to cheat.
- They’re emotionally unsatisfied
The bigger reason men have affairs is because they’re emotionally unsatisfied. A whopping 48% of men who have cheated say that it’s because they are emotionally not happy in their relationship.
The problem with men being emotionally unsatisfied is that their wives often times have no idea. This is because men aren’t very good at expressing their emotions like women are. So they could be suffering but their wives would be completely unaware.
- They’re influenced by others to cheat
Did you know that 77% of men who cheat have a good friend that also cheats? Men are more influenced by what their friends are doing than women are. This means that if your husband is hanging around friends who are known to be cheaters, it means that they’ll be more likely to cheat than those who have non cheating friends.
Signs of a Cheating Husband
If you don’t know whether or not your husband is cheating on you and you want to find out, here are some of the signs your man might be showing if he’s cheating on you.
- He stops initiating sex
One of the biggest signs that your husband is cheating is when he stops initiating sex with you. Under normal circumstances, the men tend to try for sex more often. But when you start noticing that he’s initiating sex with you less and less often, it could mean that someone else is already satisfying those needs of his.
- He seems distant
Most cheating husbands try to avoid their wives because it may become obvious that they are cheating – something they so desperately don’t want to be caught doing. Because of this, they may become distant. Not just physically, my mentally as well.
If you’re asking them questions about their day and trying to get something out of them and they just aren’t paying attention it could be a sign they have something else on their mind. Overall, if you feel like you’re prying when trying to talk to them, it’s a sign he could be cheating.
- He’s spending more and more time away from home
When your husband repeatedly has to stay late at “work” or has been leaving more and more to spend time with his friends, it could be a sign he’s cheating. While some of the time he may be out with his friends, other times he may be using his friends as an excuse to go meet up with someone else.
They also could be staying out of the house more to avoid being around you. This is also common in men who are cheating on their wives. They don’t want to risk giving anything away and getting caught. However, by doing this, they are actually giving away a sign that their cheating.
- He guards his phone a lot
Men who cheat only really have one way of communicating with the person they’re having an affair with – their phone. If you notice that your husband has been shielding his phone from your view, ignoring calls, or even taking calls outside or in another room, it’s a sign that he could be cheating on you. This is especially true if he suddenly put a lock on his phone when he never had one before.
- He stops doing nice things for you
If he used to make you dinner or bring home flowers every once in a while and hasn’t been doing that as of late, it could be a sign that something’s up. Men have a tendency to try and distance themselves from their wives when having an affair and that means putting an end to the nice things they once did.
- You feel like something is off
You’d be surprised how strong the human intuition is. We have the ability to subconsciously notice if something is different or wrong even before our conscious mind discovers it. If you for some reason get a random feeling that something isn’t right in your relationship, you should follow your gut instinct because that’s a sign that something might really be wrong.
- Their whereabouts don’t make sense
If your husband is telling you he’s going out with the boys and yet he comes home not smelling a bit like alcohol, something could be wrong. He could also say he’s going to play tennis with his friends and come home in work clothes smelling as fresh as a daisy.
When your husband’s sudden whereabouts aren’t lining up with what he’s telling you, it could be a sign that he’s cheating on you.
- When he is intimate, it’s not the same
When your husband does actually have sex with you and he’s throwing in new moves and trying new things that you’ve never done before, it could actually be a sign that he’s cheating. Some men have a habit of bringing their affair bedroom habits back to your sex time and might not realize their doing it. But you do.
- He’s not sharing his life with you
Did he usually come home and tell you all about his day, what’s going on at work, or even make plans for a date night with you later during the week but is now coming home, plopping down in front of the TV and seemingly wanting to have nothing to do with you? This could be a sign that he’s cheating on you.
- His attitude and appearance have changed
The main thing that seems to be a sign that your husband is cheating – aside from initiating sex – is if his attitude and appearance have changed. Is he growing his beard out where before he hated having facial hair? Is he wearing odd clothing that you’ve never seen him wear and didn’t even know he liked? These are all signs that your husband could be cheating on you.
How to Catch a Cheating Husband
If you know your husband is cheating on you but don’t have any solid evidence of it, you may want to catch him in the act. These are some ways you can catch a cheating husband.
- Be aware of all the signs
If you really want to catch a cheating husband, you have to beware of all the signs that he is, in fact, cheating. Otherwise you’ll be running around only to prove yourself wrong. The above signs will tell you all you need to know about if your husband is cheating or not, so pay attention.
- Show up out of the blue
If your husband says he has to work late, is going out with some friends, or even if he’s just hitting the gym, stop by unannounced and see what he’s really up to. By dropping by when he’s not expecting it, you could catch him in the act.
You can’t just stroll up and be angry at him for no reason, though. Make sure you’re sneaky about it. Bring him a hot dinner to the office since he’s working late or hit the gym yourself if he’s there since you “had time” with him being there. That way, if he’s not where he’s supposed to be you know he’s somewhere else.
- Check the garbage
You’d be surprised what things cheating husbands are dumb enough to throw away. You should be checking your garbage regularly for evidence of his cheating. But you can’t just go around checking the inside garbage cans.
If you really want to find out if your husband is cheating, you may have to get dirty. Most likely, if he has some evidence to throw away he’ll do so by tossing it in the big garbage can that is in the garage so you won’t find it. Get to digging here if you want to find out if your man is cheating or not.
- Look through their car
Men usually keep their cars pretty clean in comparison to us ladies, however, he still might be leaving traces of evidence in there. You should find a time where he’s going to be preoccupied – like during a shower – so you can get out there and take a snoop through his car.
Make sure to check under the seats, the trunk, and even the glove box. He could be keeping receipts, love notes, or even condoms and their wrappers hidden in the vehicle.
- Follow him
When your husband leaves the house and claims he’s going to hit the gym or go out with the boys, follow him. In order to catch a cheating husband you have to catch him in the act. But you don’t want to make it overly obvious that you’re following him.
The best way to do this is to say that you want to run some errands instead of sit around the house while he’s gone. You can even leave at the same time and he might not suspect anything. Just be sure to stay a few cars behind so he doesn’t notice the tail.
- Try to have spontaneous sex
When he comes home after being “at the office” late, try to have spontaneous sex with him. If he’s truly having an affair, chances are he’ll be withdrawn, try to avoid sex, and even crabby at the idea of sleeping with you. Men can’t just whip it out right after having sex with someone else.
- Look over their shoulder when they’re texting
This one may be a bit harder to do – mostly because if he is cheating he’ll have his guard up with his phone – but it is necessary if you really want to catch him cheating. Just walk behind him when he seems to be texting and see if you can get a peak and not only WHO he’s texting, but what he’s saying.
- Smell his clothes when he’s been “working late”
The best way to see if your husband is using the working late excuse when he’s cheating is to smell his clothes after he gets home. This could be done pretty easily if you do it right. All you really need to do is go in for a nice hug. If he smells like a woman, he’s cheating.
- Hack his email accounts
A lot of people frown upon this method, but if he’s cheating and you really want to find out, this is how. It’s not as simple as the other methods because it requires figuring out a password. But if you can get it, it could reveal detailed information on his cheating ways.
- Ask him if he’s cheating
If you see all the signs and are extremely unhappy and being driven insane by what’s going on in your relationship, then just flat out ask him if he’s cheating. While this isn’t necessarily a way to “catch” a cheating husband, asking him may give you the answers you need. If he admits it, there you go. If he denies it, you’ll be able to tell if he’s lying since he is your husband.
Advice for Dealing with a Cheating Husband
If you discover that you husband is, in fact, cheating on you, you’ll want some help on how to cope with your new, unfortunate, reality. Here are some of the best ways to dealing with a cheating husband.
- Remain calm
I know that if your husband really is cheating that the first thing you want to do is throw a refrigerator at him, but you can’t. You have to remain calm in order to have a clear mind. Otherwise you’ll start doing things that you may later regret down the road. So take a deep breath and stay calm.
- Get all the facts
While you’re in your calm state of mind, gather all of the information you have on your cheating husband. Know exactly how you found out, how long you’ve known, and put it all together so you have something to sort of present to him. This will be able to put an end to any denying that he will do.
- Seek support from a friend/family member
Don’t be in this alone. When you find out your husband is cheating it’s a very hard time in your life and facing it alone only makes matters worse. You should immediately call up a friend or family member and let them in on what’s going on.
Having someone there to support you will not only make you feel better, but you’ll also have an unbiased person there to steer you in the right direction if your spouse tries to dislodge your thoughts and opinions on the matter.
- Confront your husband – calmly
Don’t yell. Don’t fuss. Don’t scream. Just calmly approach him and tell him that you know he’s cheating on you, not to deny it, but that you need to talk things over before you can continue any longer in the relationship. This is the scariest part of all because you never thought you’d have to do this.
- Spend some time to think about how you feel
You need some time apart from your husband to truly be able to digest all that’s happening with the influence of him being around. Go stay at a friend’s house for a few days while you sort through all your feelings before deciding on anything major.
- Discuss your plans with your husband
After having time to collect your feelings, talk to your husband about any decisions that you’ve made. Tell him what you want from him and don’t be afraid to really put your foot down even if he refuses some requests.
- Seek marriage counseling
If you decided to stay in the marriage, seek counseling in order to mend what’s been broken. Marriage counseling helps to open up to your partner and get those feelings out when you normally wouldn’t have been able to. It’s a vital step in the road to recovery.
- Don’t blame yourself – ever
Never for a second think that their cheating had anything to do with you. In order to truly deal with a cheating husband, you have to be aware of this and not be too hard on yourself. If you blame yourself, you’ll only make things worse. The reason for your husband’s cheating is 100% on him and there’s nothing you did that made him do it. So never think that way.
- Make him stop the affairs
Obviously the affair has to end. But you have to make sure he really stops. You have to make it clear to him that if he continues with any affairs that you will leave him. Nothing will have been accomplished or dealt with if he’s still cheating on you after he’s been caught.
- Leave him
If you have to leave your husband in order to deal with the fact that he cheated on you, then leave him. There is absolutely no reason you need to stay married to someone who doesn’t see your value or your worth. If you truly feel that all hope and trust have been lost with him, then leave him in order to move on.
No one wants to face the reality of a cheating husband, but some women have to. Have you ever had to deal with a cheating husband before? How did you find out and what did you do?