14 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

By on February 3, 2017

When you really like a guy and you’re dying to take it to the next level with him, it can be hard to feel optimistic when he is sending you tell-tale signs that he really isn’t that into you. After all, when a guy IS in fact interested in you, you will definitely know it. But if he isn’t? You can rest assured he will be doing any of these 14 signs he’s just not that into you.

He Never Texts/Calls First

If you’re always the one having to send the first text message or making the phone calls (which he probably only answers half the time- if that), then he definitely isn’t interested in you. Trust me- when a guy likes you, he will be dying to talk to you as much as he can, and won’t be afraid to make the first move because he actually wants to know more about you and find out how you’re doing.

His Replies are Short

We all know those texts: You send: ‘Hey, what’s up?’ and they respond: ‘Nm’. It is probably one of the most annoying things ever, isn’t it? I mean, here you are trying to start a conversation and they don’t even have the decency to even try and continue the convo. If you’re getting super short replies every single time you guys talk, then he isn’t engaging with you and he’s definitely not into you. Granted some guys don’t like to text, but even those who despise texting will give it their best effort for the girl they like.

He Doesn’t Ask About You

When you like someone, you want to get to know them, right? Well, if a man isn’t bothering to ask anything about you- whether it’s your favorite movie, how your day was, or how you’re enjoying you’re new job- then he certainly isn’t interested in you, in fact he doesn’t even care whatsoever.

He Doesn’t Open Up

So you don’t really know anything about him and he isn’t willing to share much detail about him or his life; what can you make of that? While there is a small bunch of people who have trouble sharing anything and like to keep almost everything a secret, the majority of individuals are willing to share with the one they like. So if you find yourself completely oblivious to who he is and what his life is all about, he isn’t sharing for a reason- he isn’t interested enough to share it with you.

You Hardly Talk

As mentioned before, it is only natural to want to talk to the person you like 24/7. You want to bond with them, learn about them, and simply enjoy their company whether it’s true a text message or a phone call. But he barely talks to you? He never calls? It could take hours before he replies to the smallest text? Um, yeah. Sorry, girls, but that simply shows a lack of interest on a very big level.

He Never Has Time to Hang Out

Everyone is busy in their lives, but everyone will make time in their busy schedules to see the one they like. If he is always busy and takes days or even weeks to set up a date or even simply a hang out time with you, then he’s simply not interested in you and doesn’t even want to be around you.

He Flirts with Everyone

Ever notice that the man you have your eye on is constantly flirting with everyone? And he even flirts with other women in front of you? Ladies, if a man is truly interested in you he is NOT going to spend any of his time or attention on another woman, especially in front of you where you can see it! Any man that’s flirting around openly, not caring what you think or how it makes you feel, is definitely not interested.

He Doesn’t Get Jealous

Everyone gets jealous when they see the person they like flirting or checking out someone else; it’s only natural. But if you notice that the guy you like could care less if you made out with another man in front of him, well, I hate to tell you but he simply doesn’t care. He isn’t interested in you, and therefore it doesn’t bother him if you get intimate or just simply flirt with other men in front of him.

He Doesn’t Introduce You to Friends or Family Members

The only reason why a man won’t introduce you to his friends or family members is simply this: he is not serious about you. At all. He doesn’t want to invest in a deep relationship with you. I mean, don’t expect him to do this right away; but if you’ve been waiting for months and nothing has happened, then you need to let him go and find someone who wants to get serious and have you around the people he loves the most.

He Talks About Other Women

If this isn’t a sure fire sign he is not interested in you, then I don’t know what it is. Think about it: why on earth would a man that likes you bring up other women he likes? That’s just ridiculous, and it is something that just plain doesn’t happen. If you hear him talk about other girls in front of you and hear him even say he likes one of them, he is DEFINITELY not interested in you, and you need to ditch that crush right away.

He’s Constantly Texting/Messaging Other Women

There is nothing more annoying than someone on their phone when you’re around them, especially when they take forever to respond to you. If he’s busy messaging other girls the entire time you guys hang out, it’s a sure sign he’s not interested.

He Only Wants Sex

Forget about any emotional attachment; the second you guys are together he is trying to make a move, and if you don’t respond the way he wants, he most likely ends the date early. Yeah, this guy isn’t interested in who you are, only what you have underneath your clothing.

But He Doesn’t Touch You in Public

This kind of man doesn’t want anyone to know he’s ‘with’ you, because he wants to make sure all the girls around knows he is single and ready to mingle. If he is distant with you in public and avoids any kind of PDA, then he’s looking for someone else.

You Just Know

Sometimes your intuition can just tell you he isn’t interested in you. Perhaps it is the way he talks to you, how his body language is, or some other hint that gives it away. If you’re feeling like he isn’t interested in you, talk to him about it or simply move on to find someone who truly engages in you and wants to go for something serious and long-lasting; you deserve it!

Ladies, have you ever been with a guy who just wasn’t interested in you? How did you know he wasn’t interested? Share your stories with us!

44 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Alayla

    May 31, 2019 at 7:59 am

    Ok so there’s this guy I reeeaallly like and he likes me too. He used to text me first/ call all the time, now he’s at band camp so he doesn’t as much. Anyways, he also has a crush on another girl at our school, and I think my best friend. Not only that, but after how much I’ve been gushing about him to my bestie she now also has a crush on him.
    I don’t know what to do at this point.

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 1, 2019 at 1:48 pm

      He is at band camp, so it is certain that his attention is elsewhere. During camp, it is difficult to maintain relationships as people are constantly busy. When he returns, reach out to him. It is possible that he is interested in nourishing romantic relationships with more than just one person. If you want to strengthen your connection, then spend additional time with him in person when he is back from camp. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings at that time. Have a great day, Alayla!

    • Avatar

      Joan Voss (pen name) aka Jody Berkley

      June 9, 2019 at 12:10 am

      Totally ignore him and go out with other guys if you can or at least have him see you with someone else like a guy friend. Show no interest in him at all, act like you are really happy and busy. Be sure to always look happy when you see him as if you have a ton of stuff going in your life that fulfills you. He sounds like he likes a lot of girls and is playing the field but trust me when you act as if you couldn’t care less what he does and demonstrate your independence, this gets to a guy. I don’t know why but it always works. I have used this formula on purpose and also by accident, and it works like a charm. In fact, it worked so well that one guy who was going out with other people started stalking me. Men are so simple, they always chase women who show them they don’t care at all !

      • web admin

        web admin

        June 9, 2019 at 8:29 pm

        Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. We appreciate when members of our community share your supportive comments. Please share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Joan!

  2. Avatar

    Molly

    May 27, 2019 at 2:04 am

    Ok, so my crush is always talking to me and he always tells me how he feels and he also one day said that he tells me coz he knows I will make him feel better. But here’s the thing: his friends are basically evil and they don’t let him talk to girls that much. So we can only chat in class. I do talk to my friends about him and they tell me to make the move but I’m just so scared to, what should I do?!😭

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 27, 2019 at 9:05 pm

      Your friends have informed you of their feelings. They feel that you may be able to nourish a relationship with him. Make a decision about what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Nourish this relationship by spending additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Molly!

  3. Avatar

    Anonymous

    May 25, 2019 at 8:32 am

    Here’s a long story but PLEASE read it!! I have a crush on this guy and we talk 24/7 he always texts and calls first and we know each other pretty very well we hangout sometimes and we talk about our days and what’s going on with us and he’s always there for me and he compliments me when I say something bad about myself …”wow it sounds like he likes you” idk maybe but this is where it gets he kinda has a history with my best friend he got hurt pretty badly by her a couple months ago and my best friend is a very flirty person so whenever she talks to him I get jealous and angry cuz she had him and she hurt him (I still love her she’s my BEST FRIEND) but I just want to make him happy and show him how much I care about him.

    • Avatar

      Anonymous

      May 25, 2019 at 8:37 am

      I also forgot to mention I can’t get him out of my head I try but he just pops back up but I can’t help it I like him a lot but I don’t know what to do is the situation too complicated? (Plus i know that was a couple months ago but idk if he’s still hung up on her even though he says he’s not)

      • web admin

        web admin

        May 25, 2019 at 2:57 pm

        It sounds like the two of you care about each other. You are aware that your best friend is also interested in him. It seems as though you need to make a decision about what you want for your future. Speak with your best friends about your thoughts regarding this relationship. If you decide that it is viable, then speak with your crush about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Anon!

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 25, 2019 at 2:57 pm

      It sounds like the two of you care about each other. You are aware that your best friend is also interested in him. It seems as though you need to make a decision about what you want for your future. Speak with your best friends about your thoughts regarding this relationship. If you decide that it is viable, then speak with your crush about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Anon!

    • Avatar

      Joan Voss (pen name) aka Jody Berkley

      June 9, 2019 at 12:19 am

      If I were in your position I would not talk to him like you have all the time in the world anymore. Be mysterious and have a life. So far you have demonstrated interest in him which is a big no-no. Guys only want what they cannot have. I know what you’re thinking, playing the old hard to get game, and I get that. What to do is to be nice/flirty and then back off. Don’t be around and don’t call. Be freaking busy! Always be coming and going. Say you see him, go ahead and light up and be nice to him, but tell him you’ve got to get going and don’t you dare tell him what you’re doing. If he asks just say, ‘Long story! Got plans and I’m late. Catcha later!’ That’s it. Be like this and it won’t be long until he is thinking about you constantly. Be sure you really want him, it works!

      • web admin

        web admin

        June 9, 2019 at 8:29 pm

        Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. We appreciate when members of our community share your supportive comments. Please share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Joan!

  4. Avatar

    Alyssa

    May 19, 2019 at 4:35 am

    So my boyfriend lately has been very quiet. Then I find out that he was going to brake up with me. Now he is not and he is paying more attention to the other girl he likes he also is never the first one to text or call me

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 20, 2019 at 1:25 pm

      Your boyfriend has not been speaking with you. You are aware that he is thinking about ending your relationship. It sounds as though you believe that he is attempting to maintain a relationship with someone else. Make a decision about what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Alyssa!

  5. Avatar

    Annmaire

    April 30, 2019 at 2:37 pm

    so i have a boyfriend, we talk all of the time and we hug and hold hands and say i love you. he is very cute when he says i love you but i don’t know if he means it. he hangs out with my friends and texts them all night when i cant. idk but i think he flirts with my friends. can you help me?

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 30, 2019 at 11:23 pm

      It is likely that he feels a strong connection with you. Some people seem to flirt when they speak. It is possible that he is flirting with you friends, and it is possible that his behaviors are innocent. Make a decision about what you want for your future and what you believe is appropriate. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Annmaire!

  6. Avatar

    PP

    April 30, 2019 at 8:00 am

    So I have this guy at work… We don’t really talk that much,but every time we talk, he always initiates with personal questions though it’s kind of short. Sometimes he will ignore me, but I think I sometimes ignore him too. Also, he teases me a lot but nice to me most of the time and cheer me up every time when I’m down. To be honest I don’t really interact with guys that much during my student life, so I’m wondering how this can mean? Can it mean we’re just friends or can it mean more?

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 30, 2019 at 11:19 pm

      It is possible that he views you as a friend. He may be interested in nourishing a romantic relationship with you. He may simply speak in the manner that he speaks with the people who are in his life. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship, and speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, PP!

  7. Avatar

    Estelle

    April 12, 2019 at 7:05 pm

    Hey, so I have this guy friend, right? He and I are SUPER close. I don’t like physical contact, but he gives me hugs and stuff, and I seem to find it okay. I am the only girl he ever hangs around. He claims he doesn’t like me, but everyone says he does. What do I do?

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 13, 2019 at 8:46 pm

      His behavior is an indication that he is interested in you. He has said that he doesn’t like you, but that is likely because he is uncertain or confused about your feelings toward him. Everyone says that he likes you, so it is likely that they are aware of his feelings. Make a decision about what you want for your future, and speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Estelle!

  8. Avatar

    Me

    March 28, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    Hie, i want to ask that we had a pretty fair relationship last year and after our 1 st year relationship he broke up with me without telling me any reason I ask him so many times but he didn’t tell me anything. Our relationship was good I don’t expected that we could break up to early . What do not think what is the reason behind this? Is he bored with me?? I think so

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 28, 2019 at 11:51 pm

      He has broken up with you. It does not mean that he was bored with you. It simply means that he simply was no longer willing or able to maintain a relationship with you. Allow thoughts of him to fade, and focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Me!

  9. Avatar

    Charis

    March 6, 2019 at 12:08 pm

    I am not sure but I think he likes me. He calls, text, sometimes his replies are short, the communication is kinda ok. He hasn’t said anything yet. And I am confused. Its just mixed up. He cares but I can’t figure out if he likes me or not.

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 6, 2019 at 8:13 pm

      It is possible that he is busy and unable to speak with you. He may be interested in maintaining a relationship with you, but he could be shy. It is possible that he doesn’t want to nourish a relationship with you at this time. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Charis!

      • Avatar

        Charis

        March 7, 2019 at 5:15 am

        Thank you so much. But if I speak to him about my feelings first, won’t I look desperate.. Men are meant to do the chase ryt? Won’t I look desperate if I tell him about my thoughts and feelings? Pls help me.

        • web admin

          web admin

          March 7, 2019 at 12:47 pm

          If you speak with him about your feelings, then you will not look desperate. You will look like someone who is sharing their thoughts with someone that they are interested in nourishing a relationship with. If he is not mature enough to appreciate your behavior, then he may not be someone that you should entertain a relationship with. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion at all times. Have a great day, Charis!

  10. Avatar

    Lexany Lopez

    February 8, 2019 at 6:41 am

    I just have a gut feeling he likes me because anywhere I go I catch him staring at me at lunch or P.E we always make eye contact and it’s not a creepy eye contact it’s a eye contact that he looks at me and he quickly turns around so I won’t see him but I do and after we make eye contact he smiles and so do I but we don’t talk I really believe he’s gonna ask me out

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 9, 2019 at 9:55 pm

      His behavior may be an indication that he is interested in developing a relationship with you. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Nourish this relationship by spending additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Lexany!

  11. Avatar

    SB

    February 6, 2019 at 7:55 pm

    Stop wasting your time on this person. You are denying yourself a chance for happiness with someone else who will love you unconditionally, someone who will be emotionally and physically available. Life is far too short to settle for second best!!! Good luck for the future 😊😊

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 6, 2019 at 8:55 pm

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. We always appreciate when members of our community share their insights and experiences. Please share more of your supportive comments in the future. Have a great day, SB!

  12. Avatar

    Jam

    February 5, 2019 at 6:04 am

    I have fallen in love with this guy, we hide are relationship from others and get intimate only if alone. He says he loves me, but he loves someone even more. I know he has another whos far away from him, so i just keep the pain inside for myself and just smile nn act. I do everything so he would choose me. He does everything in the list that his not interested in me.

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 5, 2019 at 10:39 am

      The article is clear, and you are aware that he is in a relationship with someone else. He is hiding your relationship, which means that you are not his primary partner. Determine what you want for your future. Decide what type of relationship you want to maintain. You should allow thoughts of him to fade, as you are just one of many partners that he has. Have a great day, Jam!

  13. Avatar

    Elora Manav

    January 9, 2019 at 2:20 am

    I’m always the one who texts first and things of that sort but he always replies so I think thata ok right? He talks about his life and can listen to me vent. I hope he just Isn’t embarrassed of me because he never wants to even make eye contact in public.

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 9, 2019 at 1:24 pm

      It is unlikely that he is embarrassed to be with you. Some people do not maintain eye contact in public very well. If he maintains eye contact with you when the two of you are alone, then he is likely shy in public. This is perfectly acceptable behavior. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Elora!

  14. Avatar

    Cc

    December 8, 2018 at 4:08 pm

    So me and this guy are just friends with benefits but lately he’s been ingnoring me and I’ve tried to talk to him and see if he’s alright or mad at me for something but all he gives me is single answer replies. Did I do something wrong? Should I still try to talk to him or just leave him alone?

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 8, 2018 at 5:34 pm

      You have attempted to speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. He decided that giving you limited replies is appropriate. His behaviors is indicative of an influence in his life. This influence may be in his mind or someone else in his life. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. You may want to try to speak with him in person. If his behavior does not change, then you may want to think about focusing your emotional energy elsewhere. Have a great day, Cc!

  15. Avatar

    aaa

    November 21, 2018 at 7:23 pm

    so theres this guy lets call him a i liked him for almost a year now last year we used to be pretty close but nothing happened and i just found out that she liked my bestfriend last year he told this to my other friend this uear we dont talk as much as we used to i think i found out that i liked him but i dont think i do anymore . i was actually doing so good but then last night i saw him in my dream and we were fujkbuddies but he wouldnt talk to me normally i feel really weird about it rn

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 22, 2018 at 9:49 pm

      Your dream was a reflection of your physical attraction to your crush. The two of you share a strong social connection. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. If you want to maintain a relationship with him, then spend additional time with him in person. If not, then determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, A!

  16. Avatar

    Crushhh

    October 9, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    My crush and i were only schoolmates but we don’t talk or say something to each other and i always avoiding him but when i avoid him he always follows me and this afternoon at our school my friend is playing guitar then i go to my friend then he suddenly go to my friends too and i see him looking at me then i talk to my other friend beside me i say “Do i have somethingbin my face?” My friend says “Now why?”I just say nothing then while my other friends were playing guitar i see my classmate is hit by a ball on her face then i quickly go to her because its so akward in there so i check my classmate if she’s okay and i ask her boyfriend if she’s ok because my classmate is crying and hugging me but when i step back i hit something then i see my crush and his friends i there then my classmate left me then i just follow my classmate and take her to the clinic

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 10, 2018 at 9:15 pm

      You are uncertain about your feelings and your behaviors likely reveal those uncertainties to your crush. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to develop a relationship with your crush, then speak with him. You will strengthen your relationship by spending additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Crush!

  17. Avatar

    Jane

    June 15, 2018 at 5:30 pm

    The guy I am currently seeing hasn’t asked me to come to his house, he comes to mine. I have mentioned this and he always avoids an answer or makes up a lame excuse. He doesn’t disclose anything about himself and when I ask his answers are minimal. He also has very little interest in asking me anything. I know he can talk freely about many topics because we used to work together and talked all the time. Granted, we’ve only been seeing each other a couple of months (weekly) and he is consistent in texting (most of the time) but my gut feeling is that he would try harder if he were interested. I believe he is keeping me around because he has nothing else better to do and would leave me in the dust for the person that IS right for him. I may give him more time but why? The day I have the ‘conversation’ with him is the day I walk away. Because if he were actually interested in me, I wouldn’t have to have the conversation with him at all.

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 17, 2018 at 11:33 am

      There may be a variety of reasons for why he does not want you to come to his house. He may have a household life that embarrasses him or is stressful for him. He may be concerned that you will not feel comfortable or safe. You might want to speak with him and determine what is preventing him from spending time with you at his house. Have a great day, Jane!

  18. Avatar

    Luna

    May 5, 2018 at 5:11 am

    Its 50-50. I just don’t know, I’m in so much pain rn. were friends, but I JUST DO NOT KNOW 🙁

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 6, 2018 at 2:02 pm

      If you believe that he is not interested in developing a relationship with you, then allow thoughts of him to fade. It is possible that he may have feelings for you. You can nourish this relationship by spending additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Luna!

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