Are Insecure Men Worth Dating?
Men with insecurities have a tendency to be really overbearing and cause problems within the relationship. When someone has extensive issues with their self-esteem, it usually rubs off on those around them and everyone has to deal with it.
I’ve dated quite a few different men who were really insecure. Not only was it extremely frustrating for me throughout the entirety of our relationship, but I really think some of those guys were wonderful people until they let their insecurities control their life.
Before we get into the meat of the question if insecure men are worth dating, we should first understand what insecurity is and how it drives our actions.
Insecure: not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious.
This definition may not seem that bad. It’s just a few words. It’s just a few emotions. But insecurities can cause a larger number of bigger issues within one’s self; anxiety, jealousy, depression, and more. With all of these emotions coming from just one thing, it makes it that much more complicated.
Deciding whether insecure men are worth dating is a difficult thing to make a choice on. Firstly, every person is different. Some people just have low self-esteem naturally and others have had an incident bring on the feelings of insecurity. Some people are able to get past insecurities rather quickly and others hang onto it forever.
Since every man is different, it’s really up to you to decide whether one insecure man in particular is worth dating or not. All I can do is inform you of all the different ways insecurity can cripple a relationship and some ways to deal with it if you decide he’s the one.
How Insecurities Affect Relationships
Having one insecure person in a relationship can wreak havoc on both individuals. Here are some of the aspects of a relationship that can be affected by an insecure person.
When someone is insecure they will get jealous. Since they don’t have the confidence in themselves to be all that you want, they will act out in jealousy when they see you around or talking to someone who they think you might like. This leads to fights that can actually be the end of the relationship.
An insecure man will try to smother his girlfriend in attempts to always know what she’s doing and to try and keep her happy. Unfortunately, this usually backfires and the women end up feeling like they don’t have any freedom. I don’t know about most women, but I can’t stand this type of behavior and usually don’t tolerate it for long.
Being insecure leads to jealousy, smothering, controlling behavior, lack of trust, and a large number of other harmful things – all of which can be cause for arguments. No matter who starts the fight, the cause can always be found with the insecure person and how their actions led to the eruption of an argument. Too much fighting usually ends most relationships fairly quickly.
Not a lot of people realize that resentment can lead to the demise of a relationship. When you’re dating an insecure person, you usually try to avoid doing things that upset them – like, spending time with friends that they are uncomfortable with, wearing certain outfits, and even having a specific hobby that somehow makes your man jealous. This leads to you slowly resenting your partner for being insecure and causing you to miss out on life. Resentment usually causes a loss of feelings for the other person.
When someone is insecure they’re always comparing themselves to other people. Not only is this harmful for their self-esteem, but it’s also horrible for the relationship because it causes them to become jealous if they don’t think they can measure up to someone else. It also makes you compare your relationship to another and can sometimes lead you to believe that you’d be happier elsewhere due to your partner’s insecurities causing strife.
- Put Downs
Many insecure people have a bad habit of putting others down in order to make themselves feel better – just like a bully would do. So if you’re in a relationship with someone who is insecure, you’ll have to deal with a lot of criticism. Nobody likes to be called bad names and put up with it, so this leads to a fight. And ultimately, someone isn’t going to want to be with someone who is putting them down all the time.
Due to all the things caused by insecurity, you’re bound to be disappointed a lot of the time if you’re with an insecure person. A lot of them will build themselves up and get really excited for something only to bring down the evening with their jealousy or accusations.
- Loss of Trust
Insecure people have very little trust to begin with usually, so that’s no surprise. But if you’re dating an insecure person, you may find that you lose trust in them for a number of different reasons. Their name calling hurts you and you lose trust, their accusing you of cheating can make you lose trust in their ability to trust you, etc.
Because you don’t want to upset your insecure man, you’re going to probably lie. A lot. Nobody – that’s sane – likes lying. The problem with lying is that there’s always a way to find out the truth and your dishonesty will hurt him in the end and cause more arguments than it’s worth.
Nobody wants to think about cheating when it comes to dating someone. However, insecurities lead to cheating for so many reasons. Firstly, insecure people have a tendency to flirt more to make themselves feel better, and this sometimes leads to more. They do this to feel good about themselves. But you may want to seek out enjoyment from other people, too because of how much your insecure man is smothering you.
Getting Past His Insecurities
No matter what reason he’s insecure for, you have to work through it if you think he’s a man worth dating. Here are the best ways to do it.
- Communicate Often
Talk about your feelings. Tell each other how you feel. Get him to open up about why he’s feeling insecure and then you can work on it. Make sure he knows how you feel, too. Because if he has no idea how much he’s smothering you, how can he try and fix it?
- Try to Understand
Insecurity can drive a man to do crazy things. Put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself what you would do if you felt that way. Chances are you’ll come to understand his feelings and act accordingly.
- Give Reassurance – But Not Too Much
Reassure him often that you care about him and no one else. Make sure he knows what he means to you and you’ll see how big of a difference that can make for his insecurity.
Whether or not an insecure man is worth dating is completely up to you. As long as you can get past his insecurities and even help him heal from them, he could be the man of your dreams.