15 Signs Your Boyfriend is Insecure

By on April 14, 2016

Insecurities bring nothing but trouble to a relationship – especially a new one. With jealousy getting the best of people, it tends to drive both people insane. One person gets angry, the other has to assure them nothing is wrong, and then the anger remains there for a lot longer than it should.

Insecurity is a tricky emotion to deal with. There’s really not much someone can do if they’re naturally insecure. Sure, they can try to do a few things to ramp up their confidence in order to feel better about themselves, but if their insecurity is still fragile it can cause complications within their relationship.

Having an insecure boyfriend means a lot of different things. You have to be careful not to upset him by watching what you say, how you interact with other guys, and even the compliments you give him because he might take them in the wrong way.

First, let’s understand what insecurity really means.

Insecure: not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious. As you can see, being insecure is an onslaught of different emotions that can affect your behavior in the worst way and make dating hard.

If you’re trying to decide if your boyfriend is insecure, here are 15 clues that he might have his own problems when it comes to his self-esteem.

  1. He is Overly Eager to Hang Out

When your man is ridiculously eager to see you ALL THE TIME, there should be a concern about his self-esteem. Your boyfriend should absolutely want to see you and spend time with you, but when he’s continuously saying how happy he is to see you, how much he’s looking forward to it, and always texting you and making sure you’re still available to hang out, it’s because he’s insecure. He’s doing this to show you how much he cares in the hopes that you won’t leave him.

  1. He Constantly Fishes for Compliments

We all know what fishing for compliments looks like. He puts himself down, saying how ugly he is, how fat he is, how dumb he is, all in the hopes that you’ll turn around and reassure him that he’s hot, fit, and smart. Someone who needs to hear those kind words multiple times is someone who feels so low on themselves that they need your forced compliments.

  1. He Smothers You

Smothering is a broad term that I use to describe the actions of someone who is just in your life way too much. If your boyfriend is in communication with you 24/7 or giving you too many compliments or is just annoying you with his excessive presence, then he’s smothering you. Many people who are insecure are guilty of this because they don’t want you to have the chance to meet someone else. So they are always there just to keep that from happening.

  1. He Always Questions You About Your Whereabouts

When your boyfriend needs to know where you are at every second of the day, he’s insecure. Most of the time, his mind is reeling about you being out and about meeting other people and he might even be concerned about who you’re spending time with. You shouldn’t need to divulge your location at all hours of the day just because he wants to know. This is a definite sign that your boyfriend is insecure.

  1. He Controls What You Wear

Insecure boyfriends have a tendency to point out if you’re wearing a shirt that’s cut a little bit too low or if your shorts are a little too short. When your boyfriend is telling you how to dress and what you can or cannot wear in public, it’s because he’s insecure. He doesn’t want you looking too appealing to other prospects in the hopes that no one else will notice you and try to date you. AKA: he’s insecure about his ability to keep you happy.

  1. He Doesn’t Let You Hang Out with Certain People

If your boyfriend is telling you that you can’t be spending time with certain people, it’s because he’s jealous and insecure. Your boyfriend should never tell you to discontinue seeing someone for any reason – unless it’s an ex-boyfriend. I can understand that concern. However, if you have friends that he thinks are a little too adventurous and outgoing, he might ask you to stop hanging out with them. This shows he’s insecure.

  1. He Rarely Hangs Out with Friends

An insecure boyfriend spends an awful lot of time with you or by himself, not with friends. This is in the hopes that the second you’re free, he can rush to your side. He can’t do that if he’s with friends. This not only shows his insecurities, but it’s also extremely unhealthy for him to be doing. So if your boyfriend has suddenly ditched his friends since you started dating, then he’s insecure.

  1. He Compliments You Constantly

Compliments are fantastic. I’ll be the first to tell you that. But when they’re coming at you almost on a minute by minute basis, something is up with your boyfriend. Sure, being told you’re pretty is really nice and makes you feel good. But being told how amazing you look every 10 minutes is a sign that your boyfriend is insecure. He feels the need to tell you how attractive you are so he won’t lose you.

  1. His Exes Cheated on Him

Having a past significant other cheat on you crushes your self-esteem immediately, no matter who you are. So if you know that your boyfriends ex or even exes have cheated on him, he will be insecure even if he doesn’t show too many signs of it. So be aware of his vulnerability if you know about his tragic past.

  1. He Snoops on Your Phone

Personally this is my biggest pet peeve – snooping through my phone! How dare he?! When you have an insecure boyfriend, they’re going to be thinking that you are being unfaithful. It’s just immediately where their minds jump the second you start acting out of the ordinary or aren’t telling him where you’re going sometimes. So he’ll probably snoop through your phone just to make sure you’re not. This is a HUGE sign he’s insecure.

  1. He Accuses You of Cheating

And yet another giant sign your boyfriend is insecure. If he accuses you of cheating when you just missed a phone call and a text (nothing too suspicious at all), then he’s insecure. Insecure people usually think of the worst case scenario first and in the world of dating, it’s cheating. Someone who is confident in who they are do not think about their significant other cheating. They trust them and know that there’s probably another reason for you missing their call.

  1. He’s Mad when You Can’t See Him

Insecure boyfriends want to see their girlfriend every day. However, that’s just not a normal or healthy thing for a relationship. Each of you should have your own life and not have to be with the other 24/7 in order to feel happy. If your boyfriend constantly gets mad when you have made other plans without him, he’s insecure.

  1. He Makes You Feel Guilty

An insecure person will try to place the blame on anyone other than themselves for their jealousy and freaking out about certain situations. If your boyfriend makes you feel guilty about stuff that you have no reason to feel bad about, it’s because he’s insecure and doesn’t want to show it. This might include telling you that he was worried to death that something happened to you when you didn’t call, accusing you of not paying enough attention to him when he gets upset that you didn’t tell him he looked great, etc.

  1. He Boasts About Himself

On the flip side, an insecure person also boasts about himself in order to look better in your eyes. This is not only annoying, but he’s almost always lying as well. Insecure people want to make themselves look better and seem cooler so other people think greatly of them. But this often backfires because it makes them look cocky, annoying, and most of the time you can tell when they’re lying.

  1. He Puts You Down

Didn’t your mamma ever tell you that when a bully makes fun of you they’re only doing so to make themselves feel better? Well, in this case the bully is your boyfriend. Sometimes a guy will put down his girlfriend by telling her that she’s stupid, calling her a slut when she wears revealing clothes, and just makes fun of her for little things. When your boyfriend is doing this it’s only so he will feel that he’s better than you and in the hopes that his insecurities will melt away.

Dating an insecure boyfriend isn’t an easy thing to get past – but you can! Learning the signs of having an insecure boyfriend is the first step. Have any of you noticed other signs of insecurities?


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