50 Funny Birthday Quotes

By on April 12, 2016

Birthdays are supposed to be one of the most enjoyable days of the year. That being said, make that special someone laugh and smile from ear to ear with these 50 funny birthday quotes!


  1. Happy Birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.

Let’s just be honest, now that Facebook is here half of us can’t remember our best friend’s birthday anymore. This quote is funny because it’s so true too!

  1. I hope your birthday is better than walking through a fart with your mouth open.

Because that’s not good….. Like, at all. And if your birthday ends up like this, my deepest sympathies your way!

  1. It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

This one always makes me laugh- I mean, it’s so obvious yet it tries to sound so edgy and scientific. HA! Love it.

  1. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.

This one is HILARIOUS! I mean, just imagine the look on their face when they read this funny birthday quote. There really isn’t anything funnier than that, huh?

  1. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.

Wow, isn’t THAT the truth! A funny joke for those out there who don’t like to get any older, they will certainly get a kick out of this one.

  1. Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

I love this one! After all, you can’t go wrong with eating more cake, right? I will have an extra piece, especially if it’s vanilla or strawberry!

  1. I spent the day scouring the internet for the perfect birthday message. Then I gave up. Happy Birthday!

I think we have all been in a situation where we look endlessly online for that perfect quote or picture, and we just never find it. This quote keeps it real because at the end of the day there’s no better way to say ‘Happy Birthday’ than by simply saying… HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Your friend or family member will get a kick out of this one.

  1. Happy Birthday to the new wrinkle on your face. Welcome to another set of gray hairs on your head!

Definitely one that is going to get a chuckle out of whoever reads it.

  1. You think age is a funny thing? Just wait till you look at yourself in the mirror! Happy Birthday!

This is a great one for someone you’re close with and you know they won’t get offended! The right personality and right friend will definitely find this one absolutely hilarious.

  1. Have you ever wondered why I’ve kept you around for so long? You know too many of my secrets! Happy Birthday!

This is a great choice when it comes to your best friend’s birthday. I mean, they probably DO know too much about you to let them loose; and of course you adore them too, so you want them around for the long haul.

  1. Happy Birthday! Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’.

“Wow, you look GREAT for your age!” I mean is that really even a compliment at that point? Love this silly birthday quote!

  1. I almost sent you a real birthday card but my Internet connection came back.

Ah yes, the internet. Replacing mail, phone calls, and of course birthday cards! (Along with a ton of other things about life, right? Gotta love the internet!)

  1. I am pretty sure that of all the birthday wishes you get today, mine will be the wishiest!

Well, of course your birthday wishes out-wish all of those other wishes; it’s guaranteed by YOU.

  1. I know you had lots of Birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that’s who. Happy Belated Birthday!

Uh oh! You forgot your friend’s birthday. But that’s okay, because you have this super clever way of covering it up. How funny is this!?

  1. Sorry the calendar played a cruel joke on you this year by making your birthday fall on a Monday.

Those dreadful Mondays, right? Nobody likes them! This is a funny way to cheer up those Monday blues, especially on a special someone’s birthday!

  1. May you live to be old and toothless! Happy Birthday!

A silly birthday wish, got to love this one! I mean, who doesn’t wish to live old enough to lose all their teeth? (And maybe their mind, too?)

  1. I am wishing you a Happy Birthday before you’re too drunk to remember that it is your birthday.

For those friends you know will get totally wasted on their birthday! (I know you know a couple!) They will get a crack out of this one!

  1. Your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar.. Yung No Mo.

Clever and funny- a Happy Birthday wish that’s sure to get a good laugh.

  1. Usually wisdom comes along with age, but it looks like you haven’t reached that age yet. Happy Birthday!

This one is absolutely hilarious! Anyone who gets this funny birthday quote will definitely laugh at this one.

  1. Age only matters if you’re cheese. Or wine. Or scotch.

Anyone would love to hear this one, because age really doesn’t matter unless you’re one of those 3 items, right?


  1. As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.

This is a rather clever but definitely silly birthday wish that will make your loved one laugh.

  1. If you counted your birthday in dog years, you’d now be a teenager! Happy Birthday!

Who wouldn’t love to get that little insight on their birthday? Funny, and pretty true too.

  1. Happy birthday to someone old enough to remember what it was like to poop without a smartphone.

You don’t have to lie to me, or anyone else, or even yourself- we all take our phones to the bathroom nowadays, and it’s a social norm. But it definitely hasn’t always been that way! (And could you imagine the boredom?!)

  1. My condolences to you for aging! Happy Birthday!

Some people really do look like birthdays as a death; this is a funny quote to cheer them up!

  1. Life would be infinitely better if we could be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. Happy Birthday!

Even though this quote is funny, it’s also very true. I mean, life would be SO much better if we were going in the opposite direction, right?

  1. If God created you for a special purpose, that purpose has still not been achieved! Hang in there, happy birthday!

Ha! That’ll cheer them up real quick!

  1. May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care any less about.

Ah, Facebook; always connecting us to random people on our special day. Got to love Facebook!

  1. Another year older, and still as sexy as ever!

Of course!

  1. Boss… Success and happiness is what I wish for you on your birthday. And if you feel like doing something nice in return, you may increase my pay. Happy Birthday!

The PERFECT funny birthday wish for your boss. You probably won’t get that pay increase, but you’ll definitely get a laugh out of your boss. (And that may be just as good!)

  1. Since it’s your birthday, I’ll let you leave the lights on.

Haha! This is a hilarious birthday quote for your partner. Just remember to hold true to your promise!

  1. Happy Birthday! I hope that your birthday is as happy as a chimpanzee without pants.

Well, according to this funny birthday wish, chimpanzees don’t like to wear pants. Go figure?

  1. You are a really hard individual to shop for, so I didn’t get you anything. Happy Birthday!

Well, at least this birthday quote is honest, right? Haha!

  1. Don’t bother taking life too seriously from now on. At your age, no one will take you seriously anyways. Happy Birthday!

Isn’t that the truth! A rather truthful little birthday quote, but definitely a funny one at that.

  1. Just wanted to wish you an extremely early happy birthday so I can get back to thinking about myself.

A best friend will definitely get a kick out of this one!

  1. Remember, birthday cake calories DON’T count. Happy Birthday!

Oh, you didn’t know that? Yeah, it’s ‘true’. There’s no calories in birthday cake when it’s your special day, so eat up! (Just don’t weigh yourself tomorrow morning, haha!)


  1. Our relationship as Doctor and Patient is a strange one…. The less we meet, the happier I am. Happy Birthday!

For those of you out there who like to wish your doctor a happy birthday, he will definitely enjoy this funny one.

  1. The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. Happy Birthday!

For the guys out there who want to make their wife smile on their birthday. They will love this one.

  1. Like a fine wine, we get better with age…. Or rather, we feel better about our age with lots of wine! Happy Birthday!

For the wine lover’s birthday, this is an awesome and silly birthday wish they’ll adore.

  1. I am not that cheap, understand my feelings, they are s deep. So what if I just bought you a card and no gift? I was in a hurry. I was in swift. Forget everything, rest my dear. Happy birthday go and spread the cheer!

A funny little birthday poem that anyone would laugh at!

  1. They say love is all you need, so I forgot to buy you a birthday present. Happy Birthday!

Well, love IS all you need in life, right? So they can’t be too upset at the lack of presents…. At least they have your love.

  1. Happy Birthday to my sanity saver and best friend! Here’s to another year of hour long phone calls, awesome memories, and keeping each other sane!

A sweet but still funny birthday wish for your best friend ever.

  1. Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

Well, who wouldn’t feel special after reading something like that? That’s so deep! (And of course, a little silly.)

  1. Just wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers.

Go you!

  1. You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. Happy Birthday!

That’s A LOT of birthday candles! Funny birthday wish we love right there.

  1. You know you’re getting old when you walk up the stairs and call it exercise. Happy Birthday!

To be fair, I think we’ve all done this a time or two… Whether we’re younger or older.


  1. Happy birthday to mom and dad’s second favorite kid.

Okay, this is absolutely a HILARIOUS birthday wish for your brother or sister! Too funny!

  1. Happy birthday to someone I hope is still my friend even when we’re too senile to remember each others birthdays.

So funny! A great birthday quote for your best friend.

  1. Happy birthday to the man who’s like the little sister I never had.

Because sometimes men can act like little annoying sisters, right? Too funny.

  1. Only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. Happy Birthday!

So true!

  1. Have you observed that I’ve been talking extra nicely to you since the past week? I hope you’re inviting me to your birthday party tomorrow. Happy Birthday!

Such a coy way to ask if you’re invited. Love it!

What’s your favorite funny birthday quote? Do you have one of your own? Share it with us below!


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