100 Best Corny Jokes

By on August 31, 2016

The worst jokes are the best, right? Or not. But those really corny jokes are sometimes…so corny you can’t help but laughing. Especially when you’re in a silly mood. At times they’re actually so horrible you laugh just because of how horrible they are. And they can be excellent when you need to get someone to relax, or break the ice with them. Depending on how you deliver the line that is.

Below you find some funniest corny jokes to sheer you up on a rainy day – be sure to memorize some for times when you might need to brighten up a situation!

1. Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

A: Where’s pop corn?

2. Q: What did one toilet say to another?

A: You look flushed!

3. Q: How do you make an egg-roll?

A: You push it!

4. Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?

A: The lettuce was a-head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

5. Q: What do you call a group of unorganized cats?

A: A cat-astrophe!

6. Q: What do you call a mermaid on a roof?

A: Aerial.

7. Q: What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

8. Q: Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?

A: Because he was on a roll.

9. Q: Why did the picture go to jail?

A: Because he was framed!

10. Q: Have you heard the cookie joke?

A: Nah, but I wouldn’t like it. I’m sure it’s pretty crumby.


11. Q: What disease do you get when you decorate for Christmas?

A: Tinselitus!

12. Q: What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer?

A: The space bar!

13. Q: What did the mayonnaise say when someone opened the fridge door?

A: Close the door – I’m dressing!

14. Q: Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

A: Too many cheetahs!

15. Q: Why was the sand wet?

A: The sea weed.

16. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A: Frostbite.

17. Q: Why couldn’t the bike stand by itself?

A: It was two-tired.

18. Q: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

A: Tentickles.

19. Q: Why is the sky so unhappy?

A: It has the blues!

20. Q: Why did the poor man sell yeast?

A: Because he was trying to raise some dough!

21. Q: Why didn’t the toiled paper cross the road?

A: Because it got stuck in a crack.

22. Q: Have you seen the movie Constipation?

A: No, it hasn’t come out yet.

23. Q: What do you call bees who produce milk?

A: Boo-bees.

24. Q: What do you call a T-Rex that’s been beaten up?

A: Dino-sore.

25. Q: Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

A: For drizzle.

26. Q: Why did Johnny throw a clock out the window?

A: Because he wanted to see time fly.

27. Q: Why did the smart phone need glasses?

A: It lost its contacts.

28. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?

A: An in-vest-igator.

29. Q: What did one eye say to the other eye?

A: Something smells between us.

30. Q: What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

A: Give me my quarter back!

31. Q: What do lawyers wear to court?

A: Lawsuits!

32. Q: Why can’t ghosts have babies?

A: Because they have a Halloweenie!

33. Q: Why should you feel sorry for shopping carts?

A: Because they always get pushed around.

34. Q: Why aren’t teddybears hungry?

A: Because they’re stuffed!

35. Q: What did the tree say to the wind?

A: Leaf me alone!

36. Q: How does a squid go into battle?

A: Well armed!

37. Q: What do you call a magic owl?

A: Hoodini!

38. Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

A: Follow the Fresh Prince!

39. Q: What does a horse saw when it’s fallen?

A: Help, I can’t giddy up!

40. Q: How do billboards talk?

A: Sign language!

40. Q: What do they call cans in Mexico?

A: Mexi-cans!

41. Q: How did the hipster burn his tongue?

A: He drank his coffee before it was cool!

42. Q: How do asteroids get so big?

A: They take A-Steriod!

43. Q: What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

A: Reality!

44. Q: What did one pair of jeans say to another pair?

A: That’s jeanius!

45. Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?

A: Because he was out-standing in his field!

46. Q: How do snails fight?

A: They slug it out!

47. Q: What would bears be without bees?

A: Ears.

48. Q: Where does Friday come before Thursday?

A: In the dictionary!

49. Q: Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in the trees?

A: Because they’re really good at it!

50. Q: Why did the fish get bad grades?

A: Because it was below sea level!

51. Q: How do crazy people walk through the forest?

A: They take the psycho path!

52. Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job?

A: Oh, snap!

53. Q: How many lips does a tulip have?

A: Two-lips.

54. Q: What did one hat say to the other when they met on a person’s head?

A: You stay here, I’ll move a head!

55. Q: Did you hear about the nun who quit?

A: She kicked her habit!

56. Q: What did the elder chimney say to the younger chimney?

A: You’re too young to smoke!

57. Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?

A: A soccer match.

58. Q: What’s Dr. Jekyll when he’s himself?

A: De-hyde-rated!

59. Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

A: Because it’s pointless!

60. Q: What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?

A: Attire!

61. Q: Why are movie stars so cool?

A: Because they have a lot of fans!

62. Q: What do you call cheer that isn’t yours?

A: Nacho cheese!

63. Q: When is a door not a door?

A: When it’s a jar!

64. Q: What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand?

A: Quattro sinko!

65. Q: The hot dog and the banana had a race. Who won?

A: The wiener!

66. Q: Why are televisions attracted to people?

A: Because they turn them on.

67. Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A: A nervous wreck!

68. Q: Why did the fish get bad grades?

A: Because it was below sea level!

69. Q: What does a nut say when it sneezes?

A: Cashews!

70. Q: Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife sleep?

A: Because his coffin!

71. Q: What do you call pretty ghosts?

A: Bootiful.

70. Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?

A: Sue!

71. Q: Why did the barber win the race?

A: Because he took a short cut!

72. Q: What do you call a pile of cats?

A: A meowntain.

73. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bull-dozer!

74. Q: What do you call a singing laptop?

A: A Dell.

75. Q: What pet makes the loudest noise?

A: A trum-pet!

76. Q: What do you call an anxious dinosaur?

A: Nervous Rex!

77. Q: What’s the best day to go to the beach?

A: Sunday.

78. Q: Where do beef burgers go to dance?

A: The meatball!

79. Q: Why was a guy looking for food on his friend?

A: Because his friend said dinner’s on me!

80. Q: What do you call clumsy grapes?

A: Unconcordinated!

81. Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?

A: Never mind, it’s over your head!

82. Q: What’s orange and sounds like parrot?

A: A carrot.

83. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

A: Because he had no-body to go with.

84. Q: What’s a bear with no teeth called?

A: A gummy bear.

85. Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

A: It saw the salad dressing.

86. Q: What’s the moon’s favorite gum?

A: Orbit.

87. Q: Why did the robber take a bath?

A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

88. Q: What kind of music do mummies listen to?

A: Wrap music.

89. Q: What did the judge say to the dentist before having his tooth pulled?

A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

90. Q: How do you impress a female baker?

A: You bring her flours.

91. Q: Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

A: He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.

91. Q: When is a car no longer a car?

A: When it turns into a street.

92. Q: Who cleans the bottom of the ocean?

A: A mer-maid.

93. Q: What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?

A: Swimming trunks.

94. Q: How do you flatten a ghost?

A: Use a spirit level.

95. Q: What’s heavy forward but not backward?

A: A ton.

96. Q: Where did the cow take his date?

A: To the mooooovies.

97. Q: What stays in a corner, but travels the world?

A: A stamp!

98. Q: Why do cows wear bells?

A: Because their horns don’t work.

99. Q: What do you call two fat people having a chat?

A: A heavy discussion.

100. Q: What did they do with the cow that learned the whole bible?

A: Put it out to pastor.

101. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?

A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

102. Q: What shoes does an artist wear?

A: Sketchers.

103. Q: What do you call a man that irons clothes?

A: Iron Man.

104. Q: Who married the hamburger?

A: Patty did.

105. Q: What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay.

A: A deviled egg!

106. Q: How do you make a Swiss roll?

A: Push him down a mountain.

107. Q: What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?

A: A turkey.

108. Q: Why are frogs so happy?

A: They eat whatever bugs them.

109. Q: What do you call a show made out of a banana?

A: A slipper.

110. Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?

A: When you’re eating a watermelon.

111. Q: Why do French people eat snails?

A: Because they don’t like fast food.

112. Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

A: Because he wanted cold hard cash.

113. Q: Why is corn such a good listener?

A: Because it’s all ears.

114. Q: What kind of crackers do firemen like in their soup?

A: Firecrackers.

115. Q: What do you call an unpredictable camera?

A: A loose Canon.

116. Q: What crime did the tree commit?

A: Treeson.

117. Q: Why do bananas wear sunscreen?

A: To stop them from peeling.

118. Q: What do you call a young locomotive?

A: A trainee.

119. Q: Why do guys play baseball?

A: To get to first base.

120. Q: What does the former soap addict say?

A: I’m clean.


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