Dating Spanish Men

By on March 10, 2015

You may think that the western world is so, well, westernized, that dating someone from a different country in the western world will be a breeze. Think again. There are still differences; in some countries more than others. Spaniards have their ways just like Americans do and sometimes we don’t think about those ways until we start dating someone. As a Swede having dated men from many different cultures as I have spent my adult life traveling, I can assure you that the things you take for granted sometimes aren’t things you should take for granted… So let’s have a look at the Spaniards! Dating Spanish Men!

Not Looking for a Relationship

Most Spanish men aren’t looking for a relationship until they fall in love. Hence, they will probably tell you they aren’t looking for a relationship until the moment they fall in love with you. Don’t wait forever for that moment, but do give it a little bit of time.

The Macho Factor

Chances are the guy you are dating will want to show off his manliness at every turn possible, but especially in front of his friends. So avoid cracking jokes that hurt his ego.

There is something somewhat old fashioned about this – a man wanting to be seen as a hero. And when it comes to Spanish men they may actually expect you to do the most work around the house as well, at least when it comes to feeding them. Whilst you may not agree with this entirely, bear in mind it’s not an insult – it’s simply a feeling of comfort for them. It’s the way it’s always been. They likely think you cooking for them is proof of you caring.

A friend of mine once dated someone Greek. This guy was the tidiest, cleanest guy on Earth and consequently always did his dishes, often for both myself and my friend as well. One day his friends were around and as they wanted to keep chatting and we wanted to do our own thing, my friend and I withdrew. Without doing the dishes. The guy was infuriated – how could we have insulted him in front of his friends like that? This was a sign that we did not care about him and weren’t looking out for him. It took him a few days to realize this is a cultural difference.

Don’t Approach Them

How are you going to get the attention of a man if you don’t approach him, you ask? Old fashioned flirting techniques of course!

Whilst you have to show a man you are interested by looking his way, smiling and giving him “the look” you have to show you won’t cave in too easily. The best thing if you see someone you like at a bar or party, or even at work, is to throw him the glances and smiles from time to time (not incessantly), but also get busy talking to others and in general having g good time! You can even flirt with others, in fact, it might help. Just don’t take it too far.

What you most certainly should not do is walk up to the man and start talking to him. In Spain men need to take the first step. It’s just in their culture that that’s the way it is. And whilst it’s sometimes a good idea to do things your own way, chances are he will run for the hills screaming if you just walk up to him and start talking. If he’s terribly shy you may be able to somehow initiate a conversation, but then you have to approach it in an extremely clever way to make it look like he did it.

If you approach, he may think you “easy.”

Don’t Say Yes to a First Date

If someone asks for your number and then texts you, or calls you to ask for a first date, make sure you are busy that day. You simply can’t make it. Maybe you suddenly have a new work engagement.

Also, whilst texting, be sure you don’t drop everything to reply to a text. Rather have a very busy schedule for a while. Maybe miss a few phonically too. You want to be hard to get so that the man can show off his manliness by pursuing you. It may seem enological – surely he would feel more manly if you gave into him, but no, that would show you had no character and he wouldn’t get to show off his skills in pursuing a woman.

Now You Will Do the Chase

dating Spanish men

If you get through a first date with a guy, he might want to try to impress you as it’s now clear you are interested. This might mean he talks about all the women he’s dated or who like him (to prove what a stallion he is) or suddenly gets too busy for the second date. Now he’s the one vetting if you are ready to put some effort into this.

The chase only lasts so long though and Spanish men aren’t usually fond of clingy women. Have your own life and let him have his. If things work out your lives will merge, but he will always want as certain level of independence, as will probably you.

1507760_10152392614860079_8379465670289960282_n copy 2By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery


  1. Elisabeth

    November 17, 2018 at 11:18 am

    He approached me online,he’s from Catalonia, we hit off pretty well, got compliments not only about my look, but more about my personality. We still didnt met, but he asked after third day of chatting,it will happen in next 2-3 weeks. He’s pretty busy with work, I see he read my mails,but don’t answer, and than in the evening,after work and gym he blast my phone with 5-6-7 mails in a row.Problem is we live 200miles apart. whats the best approacH?

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 18, 2018 at 6:44 pm

      The two of you share a strong social connection. There may be a variety of reasons for him not responding to you earlier. He has responded to you now. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Decide what you believe is appropriate and viable. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Elizabeth!

  2. Sarah

    November 11, 2018 at 3:22 pm

    I live in spain and recently met a Spanish guy who works in a bar that I drink in. He seems to pay more attention to me than other people in the bar, but I am not sure if I am imagining this? There have been times when he’s walked past me and tickled the back of my neck and he always seems to be watching if there are random guys talking to me and my friends and often asks if they are bothering us. I sent a message on Facebook to him a few weeks ago to say that I was sorry him and his girlfriend had split up, he responded by giving me his number. When I’ve text him, he responds immediately, even when at work and always replies with a heart and kiss emoji, but he hasn’t initiated texting. Do you think he could be interested or is he just being friendly?

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 12, 2018 at 9:54 pm

      His behaviors are indications that he feels a strong connection with you. There may be various reasons for why he does not initiate texts, but he does respond to you. He may want to spend time with you in person. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Sarah!

  3. Belie

    October 20, 2018 at 6:25 pm

    Hi I’m 27yrs old lady and single how do I get a Spanish guy to date?help

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 22, 2018 at 7:52 pm

      Each person has a different personality. Spanish men are not different from other men. Cultural differences may cause them to move at different speeds and with different mannerisms. Perhaps you will find benefit by spending additional time with the man that you are attempting to nourish a relationship. Have a great day, Belie!

  4. Zel Llas

    September 2, 2018 at 12:34 am

    I met a Spanish guy in Cambodia. He was really handsome but I wasn’t into him the first time I saw him. During our tour we were behind by everyone then he started talking to me and he asked me my facebook so probably for the photos during tour but surprisingly we kept communicating even after the tour and now I am home in my country.
    We keep in touch and we talk a lot but there is a big gap to our conversation and sometimes I talk to much and he replies by a one liner. Though, he updates me of what he does for his day. Do you think he likes me or what? I’m really confused by this.

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 2, 2018 at 9:41 pm

      It sounds as though the two of you share a strong emotional relationship. It is possible that each of you may be interested in developing a romantic relationship. However, he may believe that this relationship may not be viable over long distance. Perhaps speak with him about seeing each other. Determine what you want for your future. Decide what you believe is appropriate. Have a great day, Zel!

  5. Kriz

    August 30, 2018 at 2:45 am

    I meet a spanish guy online and we meet for the first time, during our first meeting we feel very comfortable to each other and we kissed on that night after i go him he dont stop chatting me 2 days after we meet he invited me to come in his house and i refuse i told him i am not yet comfortable comming into his house so i ask him if we can meet somewhere else. And like he dont like it so we had conversation he is trying to convince me that if i am ready to have a relationship with him i should take a risk because when we were chatting we tell to each other what we want i mean we want a serious relationship he is 40 years of age and i am 30 so i dont know if he is serious with me. Later on he agree meeting somewhere else. So will see what will happend after

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 30, 2018 at 8:18 pm

      It is possible that he was interested in sharing his desire to nourish a relationship with you. He may feel that he wants to move this relationship at a particular pace. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Ensure that you always feel comfortable in this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to do the same. Have a great day, Kriz!

  6. Che ang

    March 23, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    I dated a spanish guy once in hong kong. Just like me, he is also on a one month vacation. He invited me to go to ocean park and to do shopping but I refuse to it. I am the one who send a message after our date. Do you think he is into me? Does spanish guy likes chubby women like me?

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 24, 2017 at 8:59 am

      Every guy is different and has different tastes, so he could easily be interested in you. At the same time, I would not expect too much from dating him. He is only on a one-month vacation, so he most likely will view any relationship as just a fling that will ultimately end. If you are interested in just a fling, go ahead and see him again. If even a part of you wants anything more, then just remain friends–and who knows, he may just want a friend during his vacation right now.

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