What Does It Mean When a Guy Says He’s Confused and He Needs Time to Think?

By on August 14, 2018

One of the worst things that can happen to a woman is this: you’re in a seemingly great relationship with some dreamy guy you can’t get enough of. You went on a hot date last night and it was a hit! However, you woke up today only to hear the dreaded words: “I’m confused and just need some time to think about things”. Uhhh, what? It’s a joke right? Unfortunately not, and it is gut-wrenching. But before you flip out and wonder what’s wrong with you, let’s take a look at what this may actually mean.

Boyfriend Says He Needs Time to Think

Reasons He May Say the Dreaded Words We Never Want to Hear

He is Genuinely Scared

Let’s face it: relationships can be, well, rather scary. When you feel like you are falling in love with someone and they’re taking up your time and thoughts constantly, you can feel overwhelmed. And in some cases a man may start to feel this way when he is falling deeply in love with you. He needs to take some time to think about what love is and if he is really ready to dive in and be with a woman full time and let his emotions overtake him.

He Needs to Reclaim His Masculinity

When a man falls in love with a woman, he lets his guard down. All of the sudden he is a romantic lovey-dovey sap, and when a man realizes this he can become somewhat bothered, feeling like his masculinity is being taken from him. Yes, it is kind of silly, but men are all about being macho and strong and impressing females. If he feels like he is becoming to emotionally powered and feeling weak giving into his loving emotions, he may want to take a step back to simply redeem his testosterone levels.

He’s Not Interested

This is the one we all dread hearing, but unfortunately sometimes being ‘confused’ and ‘needing time to think’ are code words for ‘I am not interested and I may even be interested in another woman already’. If this is the case, it’s important to remember there is nothing wrong with you. Sometimes relationships simply do not work out and the spark dies off; or in some cases, was never there in the first place.

reasons why your man wants space and what to do about it

How You Need to React

Don’t Panic

How you react to a man saying he’s confused and needs time to think is imperative. Show him you’re not crazy and not all about him. Show him you can be independent and strong and DO NOT PANIC! Yes it’s terrible to hear, but panicking and over-thinking is NOT going to help you in the slightest. Remain calm and stay cool- it is way more attractive than being the ‘crazy’ girl he never wants to see again.

Leave Him Alone

You certainly do not want to portray yourself as being desperate. Show him that you’re a strong woman that can live without him and he may become more attracted to you and realize you’re the woman of his dreams. On the other hand, leaving him alone will give you time to relax and GET OVER HIM! If he isn’t so sure about you, then don’t waste your time trying to win him back. There is a man out there who knows for sure that he loves you and it won’t confuse him to feel loving emotions.

What Does It Mean When a Guy Says He's Confused and He Needs Time to Think

Pull Back and Let Him Come to You

Keeping your distance from him and actually allowing him time to think can be the best thing for your relationship. Sometimes people truly just need some time to sit back, relax, and assess the situation. Pulling away from him and showing him you can give him his space without freaking out is a great way to handle the situation. When he decides he wants to be with you, let him come to you- and let him work for it. Show him you weren’t just waiting around for his answer. Have him come to you, never go to him begging for him to make up his mind and be with you.

Have you ever heard a man tell you that he is confused and needs time to think? How did you handle the situation and how did the relationship ultimately work out? We would love to hear some stories! BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER: DON’T PANIC! Sometimes people just need a breather!


  1. Avatar


    August 17, 2019 at 11:20 pm

    We re together for 4 months now and he told me he is confused and doesn t love me that much anymore like he used to do before ,he said he s bored of our routine together and he would like other things. Now he sais he wants time alone and the other minute he loves me and wants to see and stay with me. In the first month together I liked another boy besides him and they were friends i regret that but he said he remember and that s the reason he s cold and distant
    He said he is really sorry and he wants to be everything like before, i can see that he wants to change and love me more but i don’t know how to help
    Also i let my parets a lot to be part of my relationship and we we re doing the same exact things almost daily for 1 month.
    When he started to be cold he said he had been thinking about her ex break up messages ,she was his first love and then a week later i hear that he doesn t love me that much anymore ..i asked him if this is the matter and he said it s not ,he doesn t care anymore..He also said he s full of us being forced sometimes with eachother like we change in function of how one another likes to be and he said he had to much expectations from me
    What do you think is the matter and what should i to to help him cause he asks me to be alone then the nect our he texts me and want to see me and he makes me confused too..He wants me to help him but how?

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 18, 2019 at 10:08 pm

      He has informed you of his feelings. He is no longer interested in maintaining a relationship based on respect and love. You may choose to continue to treat him as a friend, as it is always beneficial to share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. However, he has shown you that he is not a viable partner. Speak with your parents about your thoughts and feelings, and make a decision based on their input as well. Have a great day, Pistalau!

  2. Avatar


    August 15, 2019 at 6:55 am

    Been seeing this guy on & off for 8 years. Moved into his own place about a year ago and things have changed drastically. Now we go days without talking or seeing each other. He takes 24+ hours to respond. I honestly don’t know what to do. I am beyond heart broken. Avoiding him is next to impossible bc we live in the same town & our kids go to school together today he told me he can’t help me with s legal issue( that he offered to help with I didn’t ask) bc it would be unethical bc things have gotten too confused. Yet helped with an issue last year when all these changes between us started. I’m st a total loss & don’t know how to fix this

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 15, 2019 at 4:49 pm

      The two of you are not living together, and you feel that there is uncertainty regarding your relationship. You are confused about the relationship. You should speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. This will give the two of you an opportunity to understand the status and future of your relationship. Have a great day, Dawn!

  3. Avatar


    August 11, 2019 at 9:07 am

    I used have crush on this guy and I told this to my best friend(girl), after like an year ago and I sent his profile to her and she instantly liked him, I emphasised that I like him since more than 5 years, she flirted with him through our fake account while talking she sent her real profile and he liked her too, I was heart broken, though me being naive and stupid I supported her, she said she wouldn’t cheat me still she flirted with him behind my back, and now they are dating, I hate her now but still I’m her “bf” to slove problems in her life,I don’t why I’m doing this, I acted like I support her even though I hate it, how do I cut her?

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 12, 2019 at 8:06 pm

      You made the decision to tell your friend about your crush. For whatever reason, she chose to flirt with your crush. They are now dating, and you feel bitter about her behaviors. Your feelings are perfectly acceptable. You can continue to share your kindness and compassion with her, while you maintain new social relationships. You may want to maintain a relationship with someone new at this time. Have a great day, Nitty!

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