8 Signs He’s Not in Love With You
There are a lot of reasons someone would pretend to be in love with another. Maybe they just want to get some action, maybe they just like the idea of having a partner, or maybe they don’t even realize they’re not in love with you. The bottom line is that no matter the reason, it still sucks.
But you still want to know if someone is in love with you or not. Sure, it might hurt to know the truth, but you’re much better off knowing if someone is lying to you and not treating you how they should.
If they’re not going to come out and tell you how they really feel themselves, you’ll have to do a little work in order to find out just what’s really lying beneath the surface. These 8 signs he’s not in love with you can help you determine how they’re feeling so you can take action and do something about it.
- He doesn’t check in.
Do you find yourself reaching out to him throughout the day only to end up not receiving much back? It may be something small and you may not realize it at first, but those are the actions of someone who doesn’t love you. If he loved you, he’d want to see how your day is and what you’re up to just as much as you do.
- He doesn’t make you feel good about yourself.
This is a huge sign to look out for. But first, I want to make it clear that he is not responsible for your self-esteem. If you struggle to feel good about who you are, no man will fix that. Now, that doesn’t mean your boyfriend can’t make you feel great. He should. He should tell you how great you are and how happy you make him. If he doesn’t do this, it may be a sign he doesn’t really care much for you.
- You have a hard time trusting him.
Trust is earned. Sure, you can go into a relationship trusting someone but they also have to solidify that trust with their actions all the time. If he’s making you feel insecure and like you can’t trust them, then something is wrong. If he loved you, he’d make it a priority to make sure you trust him and feel safe and secure in the relationship.
- You’re questioning if he loves you.
If you’re reading this, it’s a good chance he’s not in love with you. That may sound harsh, but think about it. If he loved you, he would make you feel that love. He wouldn’t just let you feel unimportant. Therefore, if you’re questioning if he loves you or not and you’re pretty deep in your relationship (AKA, it’s not the first week or even the first month), then there’s a good chance he doesn’t.
- He doesn’t reciprocate the nice things you do.
Obviously, you don’t do nice things for him just to get them in return. However, that doesn’t mean that you should just do everything for him without him doing a damn kind or sweet thing for you. The effort should be equal. If you do nice things for him, he should be doing just as much to make you feel loved and appreciated. If not, then there could be a difference in how you feel about each other.
- He doesn’t support your dreams.
It may seem like the person you love doesn’t need to be involved in your dreams, but they do play a big role. They’re supposed to be there to support you in your dreams. They should be there to cheer you on to success. If he doesn’t care and doesn’t show an interest in your dreams at all, there’s a good chance he doesn’t really love you. If he did, he’d want to be right there helping you make it happen.
- He lies to you.
Lying is something everyone does – even when they love their partner. But the lies are very different. Telling your girlfriend she looks amazing when she’s having a bad hair day isn’t something to be concerned about. But lying about where he is and who he’s with is a big red flag that shows he really doesn’t love you. If he did, he wouldn’t have to lie about important things in his life.
- He doesn’t listen to your concerns.
If your concerns aren’t even a thought to him or he doesn’t take them seriously, he doesn’t love you. If he did, he would listen closely to the things that upset you and he’d want to do anything to make them better. The fact that he doesn’t just means that he’s not concerned with your happiness – and therefore, he’s not in love with you.
What to do Next
If you think he really doesn’t love you, you have to do something about it. You can’t continue in a relationship where you don’t feel loved and appreciated – no matter how much you love him. But before breaking things off, you can do these things next.
- Talk to him about how you feel.
Don’t just hold all of those feelings inside. You have to talk to him and communicate how you’re feeling. Tell him you don’t feel loved or important to him at all. See how he reacts and if he changes anything.
- Figure out if there’s a bigger problem.
Is there a bigger problem here? Does he have issues showing his love or is he upset with you for some reason and is acting like he doesn’t love you? Talk to him and find out if there’s anything you did to make him feel like he can’t be open and loving toward you.
- Give him the chance to correct his behavior – if he claims to love you.
If you talked to him and he claims that he really does love you, then you have to give him a chance to correct his behavior. Tell him that you need more and that you don’t feel his love at all. If he really loves you, he’ll do his best to change his behavior so you’ll start feeling the love he says he has for you.
- Let him loose if it continues.
If you’ve talked to him about it once, twice, even three times and he’s not making any changes, then you have to assume that he truly doesn’t love you – even if he thinks he does. Some people don’t realize what love truly is and therefore, they can’t do the things that love requires. It’s time to let him go and move on. You need to find someone who loves you as much as you love them.
- Remember that you deserve love, too.
Don’t think that this is a reflection of you. Not everyone is going to fall in love with you, but somebody will and you truly deserve that love. You deserve to be loved just as much as anyone else and you will find someone who will do that.
Love is never easy. It’s one of the hardest things on earth to deal with, but knowing if your boyfriend is in love with you or not is important for finding your partner for life.