20 Signs a Guy Is into You
We’ve all seen the movie He’s Not That Into You and learnt that if he rarely ever calls and doesn’t reply to message he isn’t that into you. You probably also learnt front he movie that it’s not a good idea to stalk a guy or send him five hundred messages a minute. Really. It’s better to choose a guy who is chasing you and keep him somewhat at bay until you know he is really worthy of your attention. After all, you do not want to end up with someone who turns out to be as bad as your mother when it comes to telling you how to live your life, or worse: turn out to be the stalker you are not (because checking his Facebook doesn’t make you a stalker. Really, it doesn’t. Ahem). And by taking your time to evaluate if he is really worthy of your attention, he will sense you value yourself and it will make him want to fight for you to win you over. This is an irresistible thing for a man – they always need to feel they had to fight to win something or someone over, or they won’t treasure it. Some “fighting dragons to rescue the Princess” kind of complex.
So whilst you are in this “evaluation phase” how can you tell if a guy is into you? Because just like women, men suffer from the “temporary attraction syndrome” on a rather frequent basis and may, just may, fight the dragons to win you as a prize, rather than a long term girlfriend. Read on to find some surefire signs that the guy you are thinking of turning into a serious boyfriend is truly into you.
1. He Introduces You to His Friends
Chances are if he introduces you to his friends in a setting where you actually have a chance of getting to know them, he is trying to show you off, which means he likes you.
The exception to the rule: he might just want someone to look good on his arm. It can also be he isn’t sure about you and want his friends’ opinion.
2. He Introduces You to His Parents
If he introduces you to his parents it usually shows he is very serious about having a relationship with you. Most people save the family for people they truly care about.
The exception to the rule: he might have a nagging mother/father who wants him to date more. The odds of this being the case is slim, but if you ever had a grandma that bugged you once a week about your marriage plans, you might understand.
3. He Includes You When Talking About the Future
At first most men won’t talk about anything further than the week ahead. Then they start including you in plans slightly further away, like the coming summer vacation. When they get really serious, you are included in plans for years to come.
The exception to the rule: many women contemplate what someone’s surname will sound like after their own name before the first date, even if they don’t think through what a marriage with that person would really be like. It’s the same as seeing a celebrity in a magazine and thinking you’d want a date with them, even if in reality you might not like them one bit. We all daydream with our heads in the clouds sometimes without actually tying it to reality and men are guilty as charged on this account as well.
4. He Replies to Messages
Too many times women fall for “hard to get” men who are only available when they feel like being available. If a guy replies to text messages most of the time then it shows he cares beyond playing hard to get. Of course, you shouldn’t test him by bombarding him with texts as that could end up scaring him off instead – he needs to know you have other things on your mind than him. That you have a life, in other words.
The exception to the rule: some men simply don’t know how to politely stop a conversation and keep replying even if they don’t want to. Other men reply to messages as they enjoy the conversation, but don’t really want anything more than a flirt.
5. He Takes You out on Dates
A guy who always wants to meet in casual places (like at home on the couch in front of the tele) and can’t really be bothered to take you out for a good time is likely not to be that interested. If, on the other hand, he is trying to impress you by taking you on various different dates, then it shows he cares enough to want to make a good impression.
The exception to the rule: some guys prefer casual all round. Going to restaurants, or going out for drinks isn’t their thing. Other guys want to impress everyone and pay incredulous sums of money just to look good in the eyes of any and all women. They aren’t trying to impress you, not really, they are trying to impress their own ego.
6. He Does “The Little Things”
If a guy sends you cute goodnight messages, holds doors for you, leave you nice notes to find in your house, buys you flowers or other gifts and in general makes an effort to show he cares, he is most likely interested.
The exception to the rule: a man who naturally does all these things without putting much thought into it. He would treat any woman he dates this way and it doesn’t mean he is that into you. If you haven’t yet had sex he could also just still be playing the “conquering” game. Fighting dragons to get to the princess, in other words.
7. He Calls You for Advice
A man who respects you often wants your advice on important issues. Some men will never think to ask advice, but those who do usually only ask the people they truly value.
The exception to the rule: a man who just loves discussing his problems and would talk to a wall if it would only reply to him.
8. He Doesn’t Mind Your Less Flattering Sides
A guy who shows up with chicken soup when you are sick and allow you to sneeze all over him without getting bothered is probably in love with you.
The exception to the rule: a man who has been picking up stray dogs since he was a kid and can’t help but help anyone who he thinks is in pain.
9. He Shows His Vulnerable Side
Most men are uncomfortable showing their vulnerable side, so when they do it’s with people they really trust and value.
The exception to the rule: a man who knows that by showing his vulnerability you will like him more and is using it for that purpose rather than simply sharing something. It could also be you have met a man who is genuinely frail, or someone who sees you as more of a friend than a lover and therefore doesn’t mind showing what he thinks to be a less impressive side of himself.
10. He Wants to Spend Time with You
If a guy likes you the first thing he will want to do is spend time with you to get to know you better and simply to enjoy your company. If he is constantly suggesting you see each other again it means he really enjoys your company.
The exception to the rule: some guys are busy so whether they like you or not they might not have much time to commit. Others will want to spend time with you because they feel lonely, or like you as a person, but don’t necessarily want to date you.
11. You Hear Others Telling You He Complimented You
If you start hearing other people tell you that a guy has said nice things about you (or simply can’t stop talking about you) it usually shows he has a genuine interest in you.
The exception to the rule: he’s a natural charmer. Some men love women and they will show it. It doesn’t mean they like one woman more than the rest, however.
12. He Smiles a Lot Around You
If someone can’t stop smiling when around you it’s a telltale sign they really enjoy your company and might even be in love with you. We’ve all had that silly grin on our face at one point or another, haven’t we?
The exception to the rule: a man who’s simply happy and smiles all the time.
13. He Gets Jealous
When a guy gets jealous it means someone has stepped on what should be his territory. If he thinks you are his territory he is likely very into you.
The exception to the rule: some men are real alpha males and want to protect anything and anyone in sight.
14. He Posts Photos of You Two Together on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter
If someone is ready to show you off to the world, that’s a pretty clear declaration of being in love.
The exception to the rule: he could just be trying to show off to satisfy his own ego.
15. He Like Staying Close
If a guy keeps touching you; holing you hand, stroking your hair, kissing you, etc. he feels good being physically close to you, which is a pre-requisite for a happy relationship.
The exception to the rule: some guys love being close to women full stop, whereas others aren’t “cuddle material.”
16. He Celebrates You
If you’ve closed a sale at work, or gotten a scholarship he shows up with wine, takes you out for dinner or uses some other gesture to share the special moment.
The exception to the rule: just like there are people who aren’t big on compliments, there are people who aren’t big on celebrations. Some people simply don’t celebrate their own successes very much, nor others.
17. He Remembers Anniversaries and Other Big Days
He remembers the day you met, the day you became a couple and the day you had your first date. He celebrates some of these anniversaries with you. He also puts in an effort to make birthdays, Christmases and Valentine’s Days special.
The exception to the rule: some men will never be good at remembering dates and special occasions and/or however hard they try they will still not learn to pick the right gifts. It’s not because they don’t care, it’s because they aren’t great at it, or think it much less important than giving you hugs and kisses every day.
18. He Steals Glances of You
If a man is caught time and time again staring at you with a look on his face that indicates he is happy, turned on, or in general stunned by adoration, it shows he’s into you.
The exception to the rule: some men stare at anything in skirts.
19. He Tells You So
If a guy keeps complimenting you and tells you he really cares about you, chances are he really does. He might even say I love you – three big words in a relationship, often not spoken lightly.
The exception to the rule: some men just like women and therefore compliment and care about them all. Also, sometimes a guy wants to make someone happy and croaks out he loves her even though he isn’t one hundred percent sure himself. He might also have gotten smitten really badly, but it’s attraction and not love he is feeling – some guys aren’t great at telling the two apart.
20. He Tries to Impress You with His Humor and Charm
Usually when a guy tries to impress you it’s hard not to notice. Suddenly he is cracking jokes, opening doors, bragging about his skills and showing off his muscles in front of you.
The exception to the rule: sometimes a guy just wants female attention.
By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery