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    My Boyfriend Hit Me, What Should I Do?

    By on February 11, 2016

    One of the worst situations to be in is one where you don’t feel safe around the person that you love – and that you think loves you. Some people are physically harmed by their loved one on a daily basis and feel trapped because they just don’t know what to do about it.

    The truth is that there are so many ways for you to seek help. But if you’re feeling especially trapped, stuck, and hopeless, here are all the things that you should be doing when your boyfriend hits you. Never forget that there are other, better options than just “dealing” with it.

    Decide if the Relationship is Abusive

    Firstly, you have to realize that you are, in fact, in an abusive relationship. A lot of women think that just because their boyfriend hit them once, it’s okay and they probably deserved it. Here are the different ways you can distinguish whether or not it’s an abusive relationship.

    1. Is he physically hurting you?

    When someone thinks of an abusive relationship, they immediately picture someone hitting the other. If your boyfriend hit you, then it’s an abusive relationship. No if, ands, or buts about it! But hitting isn’t the only indicator of physical harm. If he grabs you forcefully by the arms, shoves you, or even shakes you hard, that’s physical harm and abuse.

    1. Does he scare you?

    You should never be afraid of your boyfriend. If he actually scares you and makes you flinch when he gets too close, it’s abusive. You’re probably afraid because he may harm you physically again. Fear should never be a prominent feeling in a relationship

    1. Are you “walking on eggshells” around him?

    If you’re being extremely cautious of your actions and words when you’re around him, it’s abusive. You should be able to freely express yourself without being fearful that he’ll dislike what you say and take action against it.

    1. Is he controlling?

    Is he controlling

    Does he tell you what can’t wear? Does he dictate who you spend time with? Does he even tell you the foods that you can or can’t eat? If so, then it’s abuse. Your boyfriend should never have control over the choices you make. They’re yours.

    1. Does he insult you regularly?

    By insult, I mean does he put you down? If he makes you feel inadequate, stupid, and just makes you feel like a worthless person, you’re in an abusive relationship. Just because he’s not physically hurting you at the time, doesn’t mean he won’t eventually. Abuse is abuse and insulting is the road to physical harm.

    What You Need to Know

    If you have read the above statements and discovered that you’re in an abusive relationship, there might be a million things running through your mind. You may be trying to make excuses for him because you’re simply in denial about the abuse. Here’s what you NEED to know about your abusive relationship.

    1. It is 100% NOT Your Fault

    There is absolutely no way you can spin the situation to make his abuse be your fault. You are a victim. He is in the wrong. You have to understand that if first. You did nothing wrong – he did.

    1. You’re Not Alone

    Many women feel isolated when they’re in an abusive relationship – like no one will understand them or they have no way out. You have to know that you’re not alone in this. There are always people willing to listen and help.

    1. Doing Nothing will Not Make Things Better

    If you’re sitting there thinking that things will get better if you just ignore it and not do anything, you’re wrong. Doing nothing won’t make things better. In fact, they might actually make things worse.

    What to do Next

    After you have accepted that you are indeed in an abusive relationship and have come to terms with all that means, now is time for the next steps. And by next steps, I mean time to get out of this hurtful situation. While it may not be easy, just know that you can do it and you will be supported.

    1. Talk to Someone

    Really, you can go to anyone about this issue; family, friends, even coworkers. Although you might feel strange about talking to someone about a situation that is less that positive, you can’t keep things to yourself. Talking to someone else may also give you strength to face your boyfriend and get the help that you really need and deserve.

    1. Call a Domestic Violence Organization

    Call a Domestic Violence Organization

    There are SO many organizations designed for just this purpose. If you find yourself needing help with your abusive relationship, give an organization a call and they will help you. It’s not only their job, they want to help.

    1. Build Your Confidence to Face Him

    Build Your Confidence to Face Him

    Some men hit their girlfriends because they can. Because the women don’t stand up for themselves. I know it can be scary to do this, but you have to have confidence to stand up to him. If he sees that he can’t push you around, he will stop and might even realize that what he’s doing is wrong – some men don’t realize the harm they’re causing.

    1. Get the Police Involved

    Domestic violence is a huge deal. You could be seriously injured if the abuse goes too far. If you feel that your life is in danger or even unsafe because your boyfriend has hit you, call the police. They will give you support and help you. Your boyfriend hitting you is illegal – so the police are going to do something about it. This is also the best strategy if you’re too afraid to confront him on your own.

    1. LEAVE HIM

    Under no circumstances should you stay with your boyfriend if he has hit you. An abusive relationship must end for the sake of both parties. Your physical and mental health are put at risk in this situation and you have to take action and leave him.

    The Aftermath

    A lot of people think that the damage of an abusive relationship ends when the relationship does, but that’s not always true. The emotional toll an abusive has on a person is a big one and it the effects stay with them long after they leave the abusive person. Here are some steps you can take to overcome the difficulties.

    1. Join a Support Group

    You’re not alone in this. There are people everywhere that have successfully left an abusive relationship and have taken to support groups as a means to cope with the situation. You will have the opportunity to sit and listen to other women’s journeys and even share your own. Use this to your advantage where they’re available. You’ll find strength in hearing other women’s stories and even in sharing your own. You’ll be able to say, “I survived this and came out stronger.”

    1. Work on Bettering Yourself

    Take some time to yourself and focus on creating a better you. After an abusive relationship your mental health can be in a vulnerable state. Take some time and join a gym, focus on projects, do things that just make you feel whole and great. If you really want to feel useful and like you have a place in the world, join a soup kitchen or volunteer at a homeless shelter or a senior living facility.

    1. Gain More Confidence

    If your boyfriend hit you it will take a toll on your confidence. Abusive relationships make women feel helpless and worthless. You’re not! Spend some of your take on gaining more self-confidence post abusive relationship. Something that works amazingly is getting a hot new haircut, hitting the gym more, or even buying a new outfit that makes you feel like a million bucks. Then hit the town with some friends! You’ll get the attention you deserve.

    1. Talk to Someone Regularly

    Talk to Someone Regularly

    Whether it is a weekly support group, regular lunches with a friend, or even a therapist, talking to someone about your struggle helps immensely. Keeping your past abusive relationship inside will only create self-loathing and a feeling of being completely alone in the world. After being in a harmful situation for so long, being lonely is the last thing you’ll want to feel. So get talking!

    1. Pick up Some New Hobbies

    Nothing makes someone feel better and more confident like picking up a new hobby. It will make you happy and even distract your mind from all the negativity that you’ve had to endure. Many people find that a creative outlet works wonders on their tattered self-esteem and moods. Painting, drawing, knitting, crocheting, and even writing will aid in your journey to recovery.

    An abusive relationship is nothing to take lightly. Make sure you’re following all of these tips on what you should do if your boyfriend hits you. Have you ever overcome the hardships of an abusive relationship? Let us know what helped you below!

    66 Comments

    1. Karol

      August 5, 2018 at 3:58 am

      Iam in relationship for 5 years now my boy friend is a good one I believe so , but he just lose his temper with me he says that idrive him crazy because my short temper , he keep saying that iam boring sad person who he can’t handle.iloved him so much I really did. But lately we have a lot of arguments , after 2 weeks break we met , itold him I will change and try not to drive him crazy , but I lost my temper in situation and he started to say their no use , we had sex after that sevarl times ithougt this would be the way to calm us, but after that iused his labtob and isaw his messages with afriend of us, there were a lot of intimacy . I actually told him before there is some thing weird between them which he hates, isaw the way that he treated her and she with him like lovers, at that moment I didn’t know what to do I decide to be silent but he asekd if their something wrong, then he asked me about her, she is our room mate I can’t hide my anger then he asked me to go to my parent home isaid I’ll go at night , he insisted that I had to go as he felt bad while iam around,at that moment iremmber how he treat the other gril so softly , and even he didn’t say that he loves her or their is areltionship, he has intimacy with her and through the messages between them he asked her to wear some thing to him , then he apologized. Anyways itold him isaw the messages and it’s over between us he grabed my hair slapped me in my face twice. Forcing me to get out even didn’t let Mr calm down to not cry in the street , he kept saying u didn’t,change you read my messages , their no thing between him and this gril . ifelt sorry for myself but iblame my self a lot becauce imade him do such thing , ideally loved him iknow he is a good one , but hr always says am not like him iam sad dramatic over acted person. I don’t know what to do now ilaready have a lot of pain

      • web admin

        web admin

        August 5, 2018 at 10:14 pm

        There is nothing that you have done that means you are to blame for his abuse. He physically and emotional abused you. He has been cheating on you or developing a strong intimate relationship with your room mate. You should speak with the police and report his abusive behavior. End this relationship, and perhaps a friend or family member will be able to support you at this time. Have a great day, Karol!

    2. Jessica

      August 2, 2018 at 10:55 pm

      My boyfriend treats me like a queen. He truely does. He supports me, fits in with my family, never cheats, never calls me names or anything like that.. but sometimes when he gets really frustrated he sometimes snaps and puts his hands on me. It’s confusing being he’s sweet to me 95% of the time. I believe he’s my soulmate but this isn’t ideal. I don’t know what to think about it. Is this abuse or can he really not control himself in the moment?

      • web admin

        web admin

        August 3, 2018 at 7:43 pm

        He is physically abusing you. Determine what you believe a soulmate is. Speak with your family and about your thoughts and feelings. It would be beneficial for you to speak with the police, as physical abuse can become extremely dangerous or fatal. If he can not control himself, then he is not safe to be around. Best of luck, Jessica.

    3. Another Soul

      July 29, 2018 at 7:12 pm

      I just left my abusive boyfriend, we were together for 3 years. There has been many times that I made excuses for various types of abuse from him even to my family. But this time he hit me, pinned me to the bed by the hair etc….I cant even write everything. But the worst part is (for me) even though we are now apart, I am still making excuses in my mind for his behavior. Its infuriating me. Im not stupid, but I do feel it right now. After everything he put me threw, im still wondering about HIM….I hate this feeling. I just want to know what to do, to fix my life after this horrific chapter. But I dont know how. So im going to look up more sites and groups etc untill I do know what to do next. Because I will never let him hold me down again. Im taking my life back. I hope you all find happyness and peace xx

      • web admin

        web admin

        July 30, 2018 at 11:14 pm

        Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Please share your thoughts and feelings as you learn more. We are happy to hear that you are no longer suffering abuses. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with the world. We always appreciate when members of our community support each other. Have a great day, Another!

    4. Sandra romero

      July 21, 2018 at 1:03 am

      I know its abuse. I even tell him. But he always plays the victim and tells me that I have it good. I do tell him just cause he gives me food, doesn’t justify that he has hurt me in one year. And has said hurtful words. This only happens when he is drunk. Now today I am looking up websites cause he slammed the door open and i hit the wall and he locked me inside the bathroom and pushed me. I tried over a basket and hit the tub. I was able to get out and go to the other room to get my phone. But he followed me and wanted to close the door. I was scared so I scurried and tried to keep the door open. He then pushed me and I got up and tried to make my way out. But he grabbed me from the throat and choked me. Thank God his brother was there. Cause he grabbed him and I grabbed my bag and ran. My problem is I did leave. But i went back cause we have a child together and he has two daughters from the previous relationship. We talked on the phone and he always does this. He always says that he is going to get up and leave and he doesn’t care what happens to him. With out me he can’t live life. So if I leave he will most likely die. And the only reason I went back is so his children have a father.

      But its selfish of him for hurting me and not expecting me to leave him. And him saying that he wants to die and leave his 3 kids. And I’m stupid for going back and just letting him go.

      • web admin

        web admin

        July 21, 2018 at 9:31 pm

        You are aware that he is abusing you. His emotional and intellectual abuse should not convince you to accept his physical violence and neglect. You need to call the police and inform them of his behaviors. Gain custody of your child to ensure that you and your child are safe from his abuse. Your children need to be safe more than they need an abusive father. You may speak with the mother of his other children as well, as this will give those children an opportunity to be taken from an abusive father. Best of luck, Sandra!

    5. Kymberly Stoufflet

      July 19, 2018 at 11:20 pm

      My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. The first year he was the greatest guy I had ever been with. But I found out something he had done and kicked him out. He begged and cried for me to take him back and that night he beat me like I was a man. And since then every time he doesnt like what I say or a question I ask he beats me. Kicking strangling biting hitting me untilnI have bruises sonbad I cant go outside for a week sometime. He did 2 days in jail for dv charges. He has taken one dv class on Monday, he abused me that day, but today from being pulled by my hair to the point of bald spotsi got punched in the head so hard and so many times I have 4 lumps one on my temple and the bruise is blue and spreading down my face and my head feels like it is trying to burst but cant. I have no friends because no one will be around him. I am afraid he is going to kill me.

      • web admin

        web admin

        July 21, 2018 at 9:01 pm

        He betrayed your trust and you decided to end the relationship. You took him back and he abused you. He has decided to continue to abuse you, and his abuse will only become worse over time. You should immediately call the police. They are aware of his actions. Your inaction will cause him to feel more comfortable with his abuse. He may eventually become more violent and may cause you permanent harm or death. End this relationship, and strengthen your relationships with your friends and family. Call the police at this time. Best of luck, Kymberly!

    6. Summer

      July 18, 2018 at 12:16 pm

      If I call the police will I get social services he’s been going on all day that I have to prove I don’t fancy anyone else and now saying I’ve been cheating on him when I’m disable and just had a hysterectomy

      • web admin

        web admin

        July 18, 2018 at 2:04 pm

        Your partner has abused you, so you should call the police. They will be able to support you and give your information to social services. You are not cheating on him, but he has chosen to abuse you. This may mean that he is cheating on you. You need to find support as soon as you are able to do so. His actions may increase in frequency and become more violent. Best of luck, Summer!

    7. Summer

      July 17, 2018 at 4:14 pm

      I have been with my partner 7 years and I feel like he’s controlling me I don’t see my family or friends he goes on at me all the time and now I have to prove I don’t fancy anyone else and today he hit me for the first time

      • web admin

        web admin

        July 18, 2018 at 12:18 am

        He has chosen to physically abuse you. He has removed you from your friends and family. He has emotionally neglected you. His paranoia is an indication that he may be cheating or harboring thoughts of cheating. End this relationship immediately. Attempt to strengthen your relationships with your family and friends. You may need to contact the police, as this will record his abuses. Best of luck, Summer!

    8. Ankita

      July 2, 2018 at 12:52 pm

      I am in a relationship from 3 years..
      My bf was very nice during the first year of our relationship but slowly he started ignoring me and giving priority to others..rather than me..he sometimes use to prefer to talk to other girls rather than me…and then use to blame me for not talking..he once pulled my hairs in public for not completing my work…I gave him another chance…but due to his bad and aggressive behavior and a non responsive nature…I started talking to a friend who was very caring and supportive and I kissed him
      Now out of guilty I told my bf everything about this and apologized he started abusing me again and hit me for “n” number of times…
      I really don’t know what to do…I am scared of him…he always behaves badly to me and hits me

      • web admin

        web admin

        July 3, 2018 at 11:33 pm

        He has decided to abuse you. He has physically harmed you. He also neglects you. You need to end this relationship as soon as possible. Strengthen your relationships with your family and friends. If you are able to end this relationship, then do so as soon as possible. His actions will become worse in the future, and you need to think about your future. Best of luck, Ankita!

    9. Diana

      June 30, 2018 at 8:31 am

      I don’t know what to do. I met my boyfriend a year ago and when we started dating sometimes when we would get into arguments he would take my phone and my purse and my keys so I won’t leave the first month we were together that happened and as he was pulling my stuff away he kinda pushed me and I fell on the floor. There is been other times where he has grabbed my arm and breaks things like punching walls and doors and then he just says he has anxiety and that he can’t control it. He said that if I would just give in, in the argument he would just stop. Fast forward a year from now I went to visit my family in ga and as soon as I got off the plane he got frustrated because he didn’t know where to pick me up at the airport and he just started yelling and screaming at me over the phone. We argued the whole way home and I went to my room and I was in a corner crying and I asked to please not touch me or hug me and he did I tried to push him away and he grabbed my arms and now they hurt and they have small bruises. I don’t know what to do he takes care of me financially and I just moved to Houston with him because his job relocated him and I don’t have any family here or know anyone at all. He says that he wants to go to therapy but I don’t know if I should believe him.

      • web admin

        web admin

        June 30, 2018 at 9:58 pm

        He has chosen to verbally and physically abuse you. His prior behaviors were indications that he was controlling and unstable. It is possible that he will continue to abuse you, so you need to end this relationship. Strengthen your relationship with your family and friends. If possible, you should return to your family when you are able to do so. Best of luck, Diana!

    10. Annie

      June 25, 2018 at 3:00 am

      I’m in a relationship for 3 and half years now and my partner hit me the other night, he’s very apologetic and feels terrible. I have a black eye.
      I love him and between us we have 5 children age ranging from 16-22
      The are all so close and normally we are a very happy family
      What do I do?

      • web admin

        web admin

        June 26, 2018 at 11:42 am

        Your partner has chosen to abuse you. He is regretful of his actions, as you have a black eye. Your children should be aware of his actions. Determine what you want for your future. If you forgive his abuse, then it is possible that he will continue to cause you harm. You will find great benefit in ending this relationship. Strengthen your relationships with your family and friends at this time. Have a great day, Annie!

    11. Unknown

      June 18, 2018 at 5:04 pm

      I am in relationship from last 3 years. In starting 2 year he was really nice and caring. He stands beside me in every step. Now he has some family and work problems going on and he’s becoming abusive day by day. I always support him financially and emotionally. 1 yr ago he slapped me because he was mad about something I said. I never ever abused him or anything. He cheated on me as well and from last few months he’s getting really impatience. 2 months ago he hit me so hard, leaving marks on my back and arms. I forgive him and thought may he deserve one more chance. Today I was just looking at him and he hit me again really hard. My only fault was I was looking at him and he was thinking that I am giving him some look or something. I can’t hear from one of my ear now and my head his hurting really bad. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to involve anyone. I’m so afraid of him now, I wanna leave him but I don’t have guts. I’m scared about what if something happen to my ear. Our whole friend circle is connected so I can’t even avoide him in future. I met all those orders people through him, I can’t get rid of them. They really love me and i dont have any friends except them. What should I do! Please advice

      • web admin

        web admin

        June 18, 2018 at 11:37 pm

        He has physically abused you. He need to end this relationship as soon as you are able to do so. It is likely that his actions will become worse in the future. You need to visit the hospital and speak with a medical professional about your ear. They will have services to help you. Domestic abuse support networks exist for people without friends and family. Best of luck, Anon!

    12. Emma

      June 12, 2018 at 2:52 am

      Hi
      I have been with him for a year. Since the half way mark there’s been a lot of arguments and increased violent outbursts on his part. I have never seen this side of him before, he said no one has ever provoked him like I have. I don’t agree because I can see what he really is from pushing his buttons.
      He can be a nice guy very caring and affectionate. Those are the thoughts and memories that come to mind when I start packing my things and leave. I am still living with him but covered in bruises. He also goes in and out of the relationship whenever he feels, and blames all things on me. I love his love and affection and a deep pain starts in my chest when I think about the breakup, although I know it is probably the most sensible thing. How can a person that shared all this time and love betray you and hurt you so deep. How can I break off from him without dying from heartache?

      • web admin

        web admin

        June 13, 2018 at 10:21 pm

        He has abused you. You should immediately end this relationship. His behaviors may become more abusive and neglectful. Strengthen your relationships with your family and friends at this time. You may want to speak with the local authorities. Take care of your physical and emotional health. Best of luck, Emma!

    13. Angel

      May 17, 2018 at 10:50 am

      I am in a 1 yr and almost 6 mos relationship and still dont know what to do…

      On our 3rd month, he started to change, he insulted me & hit me so hard that resulted some visible bruises.

      If I didnt ask him to say sorry he wouldnt. He always told me, I will just follow him and dont make thinks that he doesnt like to prevent that kind of situation.

      but on the other hand,
      I’m still hoping that he loves me
      so he would change for the better.

      But a year after, its getting worst.

      Last saturday when we’re having an argument,he hit me so many times and suprisingly he poked me an ice pick.
      By that time, I couldnt shout or do anything.

      But still, I forgave him.

      Yesterday, we we’re having fun and I unintentionally hurt him. But for me, im just removing some dirt into his face but suprisingly he slapped me.

      Now, I still dont know what to do.
      I love him so much, to the point that I forgot to love my self:(

      His the type of person that always pushes me away instead to work out everytime when were having an argument.
      His a short/hot tempered.
      And I cant get any support/help from his family.
      His family just wants to end up easily our relationship without second thought instead of giving advices on how to fix our relationship.

      But I can see on his eyes that he loves me so much and he works so hard just to give me a brighter future.

      BADLY NEEDS YOUR HELP

      • web admin

        web admin

        May 17, 2018 at 11:56 am

        Your partner has verbally and physically abused you. You need to end this relationship immediately. His actions are not acceptable. It is not your fault that you are being abused. Strengthen your relationships with your family and friends. You may want to contact the police to ensure that these actions are recorded. Save the money that you can and leave as soon as possible. Best of luck, Angel!

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