How to Text Your Crush

By on May 9, 2015

Texting is such a new phenomenon in our culture that we are still figuring out how to do it appropriately. It’s hard because people can’t hear the tonality of the voice and they can easily misconstrue what you say. So here are the top 12 things to consider when texting your crush so you don’t scare him off.


Why should we put more emphasis on what we text our crush? Believe it or not, people communicate just as much if not more via text than they do in person so it’s actually very important. Someone can be completely turned off by the way you interact with them via text messaging and you may not even be aware of it. Here are some common pitfalls and alternatives so you can use texts to your benefit and not to your demise.


1. Don’t Be Wordy

If you had just met someone and they were sending you essays via text, wouldn’t it come off as a bit needy? Save the long convos for when you are on a date and just keep the texts simple, short and to the point.


Try to just keep things short but use real words instead of pictures so you don’t shorten it too much. Remember, when he’s not around you, he doesn’t necessarily have time to stop and read long drawn out messages and sending them will be very annoying to him. Just tell him you are excited to see him and set a time to get together. Think of texting more like using a pager, keep the words to a minimum.

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2. Don’t Share Useless Stuff

One thing girls do that really annoys guys is texting them every time they have a mood change. Do you really think he wants to hear, “oh my god I’m so pissed!” or “my boss is annoying me so much!” ? No he doesn’t. Only share positive things with him and don’t text him all day dear. It will scare him off. You need to have other interests besides texting him.


Try not to send him a picture of every meal you eat or every funny thing that happens to you during your day. Be present when you’re not with him and realize it’s good to have some technological separation.


3. Share Uplifting Tidbits

Texting, just like talking in person, is sharing energy. So share things that will make his day better (in moderation). You can share an inspiring quote or just wish him a great day. It’s ok to be sweet but don’t smother him with sappy texts so they no longer surprise him ok?


Sharing a photo with a positive quote is a nice thing to do or sharing a picture of the two of you. Look at your texts as an opportunity to be kind, to share something that might really help him or something that will help the two of you get to know each other better.


If you find something cool that you want to do with him, that’s an uplifting thing that he would get excited about. If you have a million things to do, don’t send him a list of everything you’re doing. He really doesn’t need to know that and it will only take you that much longer to get everything done.


4. Don’t Complain

This is a big black hole that you don’t want to get sucked into. Instead of complaining about the people or things in your day, follow the rule that Thumper told us in the Disney movie ‘Bambi.’ If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Just think of complaining as whining and draining his energy. No one wants to get negative text messages. It’s a real buzz kill!


One of guys’ biggest pet peeves is having a girl that feels like nothing is good enough. If you always focus on what goes wrong in your day, it just makes a negative vibe. If you’re always talking about who made you mad or why you didn’t deserve something, people just aren’t going to want to be around you. Be someone that always puts a smile on other people’s faces and it will improve all your relationships!


5. Be Direct

That’s right, just say how you feel. If you want to invite him to something, just do it. If you want to know why he hasn’t contacted you, just ask him. Don’t be in the dark if you’re wondering something, just speak up. Relationships shouldn’t be shrouded in mystery and if he’s keeping you in the dark, kick his disrespectful tail to the curb!


6. Don’t Blow Up His Phone

Whatever you do, do not text him again and again without getting a response. Unless it’s a real emergency of course. Just think about if he did this to you, it looks like the other person is crazy even though it may just be that they had too much coffee right?


7. Switch it Up and Call

It’s respectful to pick up the phone and make a call to your crush sometimes. It’s actually quite healthy too. If we aren’t comfortable actually talking, we are going to have a lot of work to do in the relationship. The more you can call, the better, leave texting for times when you’re in work or school and can’t call but keep it to a minimum.


8. Ask Questions

Another rule to live by is that you should ask him questions so you don’t just talk about yourself all the time. Don’t be all about yourself or he will get bored with you very quickly. Show interest in how he is feeling and what he is doing. Get to know him with questions but not too many. Leave the real convo for your face to face interactions.


9. Be Flirty

Yes you can go ahead and flirt. There are no rules that say you shouldn’t and if you’re trying to see if he likes you back, there’s no shame in using your game girl!


10. Make A Plan To Meet In Person

What is the point of texting anyway? Is it a security blanket for us so we don’t feel alone? No! It’s just used to make plans so you can see each other that much sooner. Don’t let texting become a crutch for you and call instead of texting whenever you can!


11. Stay Positive

Try not to have any serious conversations via text because it can destroy a good relationship. There are so many ways to misconstrue and misread text messages that if you really respect someone, you will tell them all important information in person or over the phone if you can’t be in person. Texts should be positive and short.


12. Don’t Trash Talk People

I’ve seen this happen all too often when people either don’t realize they are on a group text or they accidentally text the wrong person. Guard your words about others no matter what because screenshots can ruin relationships and accidentally hitting send to the wrong person could be very damaging to someone’s self esteem. Try your best to just never trash talk people and you’ll avoid being gossipy in text messages as well.


My final word of advice is don’t be reactive in your texts and think about what you’re going to say. Don’t rush your conversations because in the art of conversations, words are valuable and they shape the direction of our relationships so choose them wisely and speak from the heart.


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