How to Text Your Crush

By on May 9, 2015

Texting is such a new phenomenon in our culture that we are still figuring out how to do it appropriately. It’s hard because people can’t hear the tonality of the voice and they can easily misconstrue what you say. So here are the top 12 things to consider when texting your crush so you don’t scare him off.

 

Why should we put more emphasis on what we text our crush? Believe it or not, people communicate just as much if not more via text than they do in person so it’s actually very important. Someone can be completely turned off by the way you interact with them via text messaging and you may not even be aware of it. Here are some common pitfalls and alternatives so you can use texts to your benefit and not to your demise.

 

1. Don’t Be Wordy

If you had just met someone and they were sending you essays via text, wouldn’t it come off as a bit needy? Save the long convos for when you are on a date and just keep the texts simple, short and to the point.

 

Try to just keep things short but use real words instead of pictures so you don’t shorten it too much. Remember, when he’s not around you, he doesn’t necessarily have time to stop and read long drawn out messages and sending them will be very annoying to him. Just tell him you are excited to see him and set a time to get together. Think of texting more like using a pager, keep the words to a minimum.

 How To Get a Guy to Text You Back

2. Don’t Share Useless Stuff

One thing girls do that really annoys guys is texting them every time they have a mood change. Do you really think he wants to hear, “oh my god I’m so pissed!” or “my boss is annoying me so much!” ? No he doesn’t. Only share positive things with him and don’t text him all day dear. It will scare him off. You need to have other interests besides texting him.

 

Try not to send him a picture of every meal you eat or every funny thing that happens to you during your day. Be present when you’re not with him and realize it’s good to have some technological separation.

 

3. Share Uplifting Tidbits

Texting, just like talking in person, is sharing energy. So share things that will make his day better (in moderation). You can share an inspiring quote or just wish him a great day. It’s ok to be sweet but don’t smother him with sappy texts so they no longer surprise him ok?

 

Sharing a photo with a positive quote is a nice thing to do or sharing a picture of the two of you. Look at your texts as an opportunity to be kind, to share something that might really help him or something that will help the two of you get to know each other better.

 

If you find something cool that you want to do with him, that’s an uplifting thing that he would get excited about. If you have a million things to do, don’t send him a list of everything you’re doing. He really doesn’t need to know that and it will only take you that much longer to get everything done.

 text2

4. Don’t Complain

This is a big black hole that you don’t want to get sucked into. Instead of complaining about the people or things in your day, follow the rule that Thumper told us in the Disney movie ‘Bambi.’ If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Just think of complaining as whining and draining his energy. No one wants to get negative text messages. It’s a real buzz kill!

 

One of guys’ biggest pet peeves is having a girl that feels like nothing is good enough. If you always focus on what goes wrong in your day, it just makes a negative vibe. If you’re always talking about who made you mad or why you didn’t deserve something, people just aren’t going to want to be around you. Be someone that always puts a smile on other people’s faces and it will improve all your relationships!

 

5. Be Direct

That’s right, just say how you feel. If you want to invite him to something, just do it. If you want to know why he hasn’t contacted you, just ask him. Don’t be in the dark if you’re wondering something, just speak up. Relationships shouldn’t be shrouded in mystery and if he’s keeping you in the dark, kick his disrespectful tail to the curb!

 

6. Don’t Blow Up His Phone

Whatever you do, do not text him again and again without getting a response. Unless it’s a real emergency of course. Just think about if he did this to you, it looks like the other person is crazy even though it may just be that they had too much coffee right?

 

7. Switch it Up and Call

It’s respectful to pick up the phone and make a call to your crush sometimes. It’s actually quite healthy too. If we aren’t comfortable actually talking, we are going to have a lot of work to do in the relationship. The more you can call, the better, leave texting for times when you’re in work or school and can’t call but keep it to a minimum.

 

8. Ask Questions

Another rule to live by is that you should ask him questions so you don’t just talk about yourself all the time. Don’t be all about yourself or he will get bored with you very quickly. Show interest in how he is feeling and what he is doing. Get to know him with questions but not too many. Leave the real convo for your face to face interactions.

 text

9. Be Flirty

Yes you can go ahead and flirt. There are no rules that say you shouldn’t and if you’re trying to see if he likes you back, there’s no shame in using your game girl!

 

10. Make A Plan To Meet In Person

What is the point of texting anyway? Is it a security blanket for us so we don’t feel alone? No! It’s just used to make plans so you can see each other that much sooner. Don’t let texting become a crutch for you and call instead of texting whenever you can!

 

11. Stay Positive

Try not to have any serious conversations via text because it can destroy a good relationship. There are so many ways to misconstrue and misread text messages that if you really respect someone, you will tell them all important information in person or over the phone if you can’t be in person. Texts should be positive and short.

 

12. Don’t Trash Talk People

I’ve seen this happen all too often when people either don’t realize they are on a group text or they accidentally text the wrong person. Guard your words about others no matter what because screenshots can ruin relationships and accidentally hitting send to the wrong person could be very damaging to someone’s self esteem. Try your best to just never trash talk people and you’ll avoid being gossipy in text messages as well.

 

My final word of advice is don’t be reactive in your texts and think about what you’re going to say. Don’t rush your conversations because in the art of conversations, words are valuable and they shape the direction of our relationships so choose them wisely and speak from the heart.

49 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Momo kareen

    December 24, 2015 at 12:29 pm

    I once texted my crush asking him about the kind of music he likes and he never replied?? But later on wen I asked him about something else he replied…. Bt it was concerning the exchange rate. So confused”

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 31, 2015 at 4:04 am

      He may have just been busy, or he could have answered the text and forgotten to press send. AT the same time, there is always a chance that he just wants to be friends and chose to just respond to the question that he actually cared about. For the moment, your best bet is to keep talking to him to figure out what is going on in his mind.

  2. Avatar

    Alessa

    November 16, 2015 at 2:46 am

    My crush is my best friend… But he thinks I’m annoying and tells me to stop texting him and I really like him but he keeps backing away… But he’s my best friend so Idk what to do

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 16, 2015 at 5:31 pm

      It looks like you may just have to remain friends with him for now. If he is backing away from you, that may be because he is trying not to get too close and lead you on. For the moment, it does not seem like he feels the way about you as you do about him. Remain friends and hope that your proximity to him ends up making him fall for you. Good luck, Alessa!

  3. Avatar

    Ghanda

    October 21, 2015 at 10:25 pm

    Long story short 🙂 There is this guy that I have a crush on at work. He is part of the management so we barely talk however I could tell that he treats me a ‘lil special comparing to the rest. He saw me at the parking lot yesterday and started talking to me and asked me what was I still doing there. At that time I was filling up a form because I’m looking for a new job so I told him what I was up to. He said, he was going to miss me and that he should get my number. I told him that I already have his number. So he asked me how come I got it? And I said, I have all the managers numbers. He asked me how come I never texted him? That I should text him. I didn’t know what to say so I just smiled. I have a boy friend and he knows that too but would it be bad to text him? Especially knowing that I’m already with someone? That isn’t considered cheating isn’t it? If all I want is to get to know him. Please help me 🙁

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 23, 2015 at 5:00 pm

      Texting him is not considered cheating, but I would seriously rethink talking to him. If you have a crush on him–and it seems like he has a crush on you as well–, then texting will create a relationship between you that could eventually put you in a position where you could end up cheating. Although you can always exercise the willpower to stay faithful, it probably is not worth the risk. In general, it is better to not place yourself in a position where you could end up in that type of situation.

  4. Avatar

    Taylor

    October 21, 2015 at 7:40 pm

    As a child, I grew up with this guy and we were best friends. When I was five, I had to move to another country. A few days ago I went back to his country for my birthday and he came to my party- I saw him for the first time in many many years.. during those years we did not have contact but now I have his number. In person, he is very talkative and confident. I know it has only been 3 days since I got his number but he doesn’t text much AT ALL. I did text him once or twice asking about his day etc but we only texted very little. I really want to get to know him more but I don’t know how!!!

    • Avatar

      Taylor

      October 21, 2015 at 7:44 pm

      Also, my family is close to his family and his mum and I are always texting I just wish me and him could talk more like we used to… he has a sweet personality and he has never had a girlfriend (we r both 16) I understand that he is at school for over 10 hrs a day most of the time…Should I text him on the weekend? sorry this is so long….

      • web admin

        web admin

        October 24, 2015 at 6:59 pm

        I think that trying to text him on the weekend might be a good choice. If he is in school for ten hours a day, then he might not have time to message you back during the day, and he may forget that you texted by the end of the day. When you also consider the time difference, then it makes sense that he may have a problem texting. Plus, not having a girlfriend ever could be a reason why he is not texting back–he might just be uncertain about how to talk to you or express his feelings.

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 24, 2015 at 6:56 pm

      Perhaps you should try adding him online and talk to him via instant messaging. Some people are just not good at texting, so he might be one of those people. There is also always a chance that he does not want to get closer to you because he knows that you are in another country. If it were me, I would add him online and start talking to him that way. You could also try seeing if he wants to meet up and hang out the next time that you guys are in the same country.

    • Avatar

      kaaay

      October 28, 2015 at 4:31 pm

      tell him how you feel about him.

  5. Avatar

    Maya

    October 18, 2015 at 11:20 pm

    So I have a crush on this guy, and during a party(we were both drunk) we made out with each other. Does this mean anything on his part? Or is it just superficial? Also, what should I do to find out how he feels? Are there any signs to show that he likes me? And how can I subtly show him that I like him?

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 19, 2015 at 4:49 pm

      It means that he is probably attracted to you and thinks that you are cute. Beyond that, there is no way to know for sure. He could have had a crush on you and was only confident enough to make a move when he was drunk, or he could have just made out with you because he was drunk. I would probably try to get his phone number and text him some time–you could just ask him how his day is going. If he does like you, he will keep texting you back and have longer response, or he will try talking to you in person. If it was just a one time thing, he will probably respond with a short text and not try talking to you again. Good luck, Maya–I hope that everything works out for you!

  6. Avatar

    Zeys

    September 8, 2015 at 6:01 pm

    This is gonna be a long story! So i met this guy 3 days before in my country, indonesia but he’s germany, When i sat in a lounge, he came to me and land his hand, and we had a great conversation, he sat really close to me, we both laugh, he asked me about my life and he told me that he was for vacation and work here and we took a picture of us. until he asked my number and we had texting. And the next day we met again. First thing when i arrived, he hug me tight in public, I went to his hotel and we had sex. He told me “i really like you” .And the next day he should went to his country, german. I drove him to the airport, he hug me in public. He texted me after we met like “take care, i really enjoyed to be with you” and i was like said to him “come back here soon, i’ll be waiting” and he said “i’ll try!” And we still have texting but not all time. So i would ask to you, i know it is too fast but what should i do? You said on your post about germany guy if having sex with them doesnt mean anything, is that true for all my stories? And if you think he really like me, what should i do to make him not forget me and stay close to me? I really need your advice. Glad to get your response soon 🙂

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 9, 2015 at 2:52 am

      Staying in touch with him on Facebook or Skype will help you to keep him interested. Even with this though, it will be extremely hard to keep him interested in you. The distance is just so great–unless he plans on moving to Indonesia, it will be really hard for you guys to keep any type of relationship going. Most likely, you will become his fantasy and dream–the “one that got away”. He may spend the rest of his life wondering what could have happened, but unless he is able to actually move to Indonesia, it will be next to impossible to keep the relationship going forever. Just in case, add him on social media, e-mail and stay in touch–you never know what could happen. Even if he is not planning on moving there, things could work out. Stay in touch with him, flirt with him and hope that his job sends him to your country.

  7. Avatar

    Enaebellyan

    September 2, 2015 at 8:53 am

    Hi,Admin
    I have a crush on one guy. He told me that his now single , but he calls me Sister. He is a bestfriend of my brother and they are of same age. But i really really like him. Now adays i chat with him and he told me about his ex girlfriend and he said now he don’t want to think about her. And i heard some of my friends saying that he likes me but i’m not so sure. Now we chat alot that he didn’t allow me to sleep . He send me kissing emojis too. And he always say to me, “Kid your beautiful”.I feel great and sweet , and i think he knows i like him and now he didn’t call me sister, instead he calls me Partner. And he said to me that if i were 20 he would make me his girlfriend but i’m just 17 and his 26 he said me to study hard and when i grow older then my present age he’ll make me his girl. Please help

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 3, 2015 at 2:35 am

      It looks like you may have commented twice. I have to approve of each comment individually, so it can sometimes take a bit for me to get around to answering everything. Read through my response to your first comment and let me know if you have any questions. Thanks!

  8. Avatar

    Enaebellyan

    September 2, 2015 at 8:49 am

    Hi,Admin
    I have a crush on one guy. He told me that his now single , but he calls me Sister. He is a bestfriend of my brother and they are of same age. But i really really like him. Now adays i chat with him and he told me about his ex girlfriend and he said now he don’t want to think about her. And i heard some of my friends saying that he likes me but i’m not so sure. Now we chat alot that he didn’t allow me to sleep . He send me kissing emojis too. And he always say to me, “Kid your beautiful”.I feel great and sweet , and i think he knows i like him and now he didn’t call me sister, instead he calls me Partner. And he said to me that if i were 20 he would make his girlfriend but i’m just 17 and his 26 he said me to study hard and i grow older then my present age he’ll make me his girl. Please help

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 3, 2015 at 2:34 am

      If he is unwilling to date you because of your age, then the only thing that you can do is spend your time studying and get a bit older. Hopefully, he will end up changing his mind before long. It certainly sounds like he is interested in you, and the only thing that seems to be holding him back is your ago. Spend some time focusing on school, stay friends with him and take advantage of this time to grow as a person–before long, he will consider you mature enough to date. Good luck, Enabellyan! 🙂

  9. Avatar

    Is it love

    August 26, 2015 at 2:31 am

    I like this guy name Brohk and me and him and my baby sis go to ice palace. He spend a lot of time with us and he hugs me a lot from the back and teases me in a nice way but he is 3 years older than me but I think he is flirting with me but I don’t know if he does like me. Will he ask me out or will I ask him out or do I know he likes me or nah.

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 26, 2015 at 7:50 pm

      We actually have an article that covers the signs that a crush is interested in you. You could check the article out on Her Interest and see if he does any of the signs. Already, it seems like he goes out with you to places like the Ice Palace, hugs you and teases you. All three of those things are signs that he is interested, so I think that there is an excellent chance that he likes you. As for asking you out, I have no clue if he will ask you out in the near future–he may be intimidated or afraid of getting rejected. If you want though, you could always try asking him out. 🙂

  10. Avatar

    Rizo Raphael

    August 25, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    I love a girl.. But she says that she is nit interested in having relationship and all… She says she wanna be reserve type only and she always get angry when i use to do flirt with her.. I wanna express my feelings to her… Please help!!!!

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 25, 2015 at 10:29 pm

      It sounds like you have already told her that she is interested and flirted with her. It also seems like she has been fairly clear in telling you that she does not want a relationship and dislikes it when you flirt with her. Although this may change in the future, for the moment, it seems like she just wants to be friends with you. 🙁 Good luck, Rizo–I will keep my fingers crossed that things will change!

  11. Avatar

    nancy

    August 20, 2015 at 11:06 am

    I have a crush on one of my friend we text often and he knows that I like him…but I dont know what he think about me..one day he sent me “I love u” and then said that it was sent to me by mistake he also asked me about my love life…i really dont know what to do please help me please

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 21, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      It looks like you may have commented twice on this one, Nancy. I have to go through and approve each comment individually, so it can sometimes take time. If you do not see your comment or response right away, do not worry–you will. Read through my first comment and let me know if you have any other questions. Thanks for commenting!

  12. Avatar

    nancy

    August 20, 2015 at 11:04 am

    I have a crush on one of my friend we text often and he knows that I like him…but I dont know what he think about me..one day he sent me “I love u” and then said that it was sent to me by mistake he also asked me about my love life…i really dont know what to do please help me

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 21, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      Hmm…I don’t know. His behavior sounds confusing. He could have texted you I love you on accident–if this is the case, then he is obviously interested in someone else. If he intentionally texted you and lied to avoid rejection, then he could be interested in you. The questions about your love life could just be due to his being friends with you. Since he does know that you like him, then you may just want to wait it out. If he does know that you are interested in him, then he could easily ask you out whenever he feels up to it.

  13. Avatar

    littlebunny

    August 5, 2015 at 1:18 am

    Hey, admin, finally I found a great place to ask for help, thank god!!
    It’s a long story:In may when I was on exchange in europe, I met a spanish guy when we were both traveling in budapest. He was traveling and we stayed in a same hostel. he speaks very very little english. But he keeps talking to me and asking me questions(we then use google translate for our communication), i wasn’t interested at first, but then I realize how much we have in common (our experience and values) so I got interested too. But it was only one night and then i left budapest and he’s gone back to spain. But then we’ve been using what’sapp till now. we msged almost everyday for the first two weeks, but then kind of stopped for 2 weeks. and then I texted him first, then we got the conversation going again and i think he checks all my posts on facebook cos sometimes he will tell me he saw my pictures,etc. In june, I went to visit him in spain while I was traveling in the country. Because he has to work, so he only spent one day with me, but it was sooo soo so sweet. First time I ever feel im just being myself (cos usually I freeze if guy I like is with me)and so comfortable and happy just being with him. He spent the whole day with me, and we’ve been talking sooo much, translating, body language, but every time I could guess what he wants to say just by my sixth sense.Before we left, he gave me his bracelet which he never took it off in the last two years, he wants me to remember him. and he promised me to visit me when he improves his english.. (very hard =.=) but he didn’t kiss me, and I’m really not that brave to kiss him. Maybe he’s shy?? (he’s 7 years older than me) Now i’ve been back to US for two months, but we still text each other (voice msg, picture, videos occasionally when he saw some beautiful scenes on trips). but I really don’t know if he likes me the way I do or just a friend since he travels a lot too, so travelers like sharing.
    And I don’t really know how to flirt and to get a guy to tell me his true feelings. I know it’s long distance, but I just don’t want to miss this guy, what if he’s the one? If it’s love, anything can be possible.
    God, i’m so confused,, really bad at telling.. Please help me, give me some advices or comments.

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 5, 2015 at 8:41 pm

      I think the best thing that you can do is to just play it by hear. If it is true love and you guys are meant to be together, then it will happen. Even if you guys gradually stop texting, there is always a chance that you will end up meeting each other years in the future. The best thing that you can do right now is to stay in touch and stay friends with him. It sounds like he likes you, so you can just wait, flirt a bit, and see if he tries to take it any farther than that. Good luck!

  14. Avatar

    crystal brandon

    June 20, 2015 at 4:15 am

    my white friend kyle gooson has a crue n hav a cn my friend kle,.were both in love th each other n don’t know what too do abut it,.should we hae sex?wheople do whenr n love?

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 20, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      Again, I would personally move slower than that. Go on some dates, get to know each better and then consider taking things to the next level physically.

  15. Avatar

    crystal brandon

    June 20, 2015 at 4:09 am

    I have a crush on my new guy white best friend whos name is kyle wayne goodson we work together at cmse giving gardens n Columbia,mo.i also heard that kyle has a crush on me so when me n kyle talked about how we felt about each other kyle said yes its true he has a crush on me n he said hes n love with me too,.what should I do I never had a friend fall n love with me before and were both n love with each other should we have sex?

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 20, 2015 at 2:59 pm

      Check out my previous comments, Crystal.You seem to have mentioned the same thing a few times. Normally, I respond to all comments at once every day. If I have not returned your message, wait 24 hours and you should get a response. Thanks for commenting!

  16. Avatar

    crystal brandon

    June 20, 2015 at 4:05 am

    my crush iew best guy friend hes whinblackhis name is kyl wayne goso I er te has a crush on me also ad hetexted metellig me that s its true that e has a crush on me I ask if he had any love feelings for me at all n he said yes hes n love with mehes also my coworkee at cmse giving gardens in Columbia,mo.what should we do incwe love each othshold we ave sex ?what should we do since we love eachoher n have a crushon eacther?

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 20, 2015 at 2:58 pm

      If you love each other, you should start dating! Have some fun, go out for a nice dinner or take a hiking trip. Unless you have a reason not to date him, I would go ahead and ask him out. In a few months, you can start to think about taking things to the net level physically.

  17. Avatar

    llama

    June 14, 2015 at 2:52 am

    So I have a crush but I ust don’t know how to start up a conversation and the worst thing is that I don’t know how to properly flirt can u plz show me how

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 14, 2015 at 4:12 am

      Just start with the basic “How are you?” or “How’s everything going?”. From there, just start a normal conversation with him and go from his response. If you are looking to talk to him in person, then use the same starting line. Touching his arm gently, smiling, looking him in the eyes or commenting on how his shirt/eyes/hair look are all easy, basic ways to try flirting with him. Just do it! The more you practice flirting and the better you get to know him, the easier everything will be.

  18. Avatar

    Sabby

    May 18, 2015 at 9:56 pm

    Okie dokie, this is fantastic advice… However, I do not even have my crush’s number. Any advice on how to ask him for it without sounding desperate?

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 19, 2015 at 2:35 am

      If you have the time, you can always mention a cool event, hike or outing that he may be interested in. Perhaps you know of a youth group hike or an event in the area–if he seems interested, you can ask him for his number and tell him that you will text him when the event comes up. You could also just ask him for his number outright. If he says no, then that means he is not interested and you do not have to end up being rejected when you ask him out. If he says yes, then you can take that as a sign that he might be crushing on you as well.

  19. Avatar

    Carolina

    May 13, 2015 at 12:05 pm

    This could really help me with my boyfriend especially since we just got over a fight… Thanks and if u could give me personal advice it wok help a lot. Once again, thanks.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 19, 2015 at 2:33 am

      When it comes to getting over a fight, it takes time and communication. Right now, a great skill to learn would be how to argue constructively. Often, things are said in the heat of the argument that end up hurting the other person. Fights are inevitable, but how you argue can be changed.

  20. Avatar

    trulylove

    May 9, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    i have been talking to my crush for quite a long time,from past 4 months he got to know that he likes me,yesterday i was fed up of his flirting over text ..because it happens most of the time,, we got into a small argument jokingly but then i went up confessing”you have hurt me many a times,been stupid annoying ..yeti like you idc how stupid and weird you think about me i want you know that i really like you ..and yeah stop thinking high of yourself it dosent look good on you”
    his reply ::
    “maam you are my role model
    but what do mean by thinking high of myself ”
    what should i do …give up or ask for a proper reply

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 9, 2015 at 11:40 pm

      I would not bother expecting a proper reply from the message you sent; it sounds like he has already answered it. At the beginning, you said that you new that he likes you. If you know that he is interested, then you are already half way toward starting a relationship with him. It is now up to him–the ball is in his court to make a move. Good luck!

      • Avatar

        crystal brandon

        June 20, 2015 at 4:19 am

        should me n my friend kyle goodson who has a crush on me n I have a crush on him take our relationship too the next level we really love each other n r n love with each other should we have sex?

        • web admin

          web admin

          June 20, 2015 at 2:56 pm

          That depends entirely on you, Crystal. Most people normally try dating for a while first before they decide to have sex. You may want to get to know him better, go on a few dates and then decide if you want to take things to the next level.

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