How to Tell if a Guy is Playing You
The last thing any of girls want to find out about a new guy we’re dating is that he’s playing us. We put a lot of time and effort into finding someone we could potentially spend our lives with and it’s just a huge bummer when we realize they’ve been playing us the whole time.
We put ourselves out there, be vulnerable, and end up getting hurt. This is never a good feeling, but we can’t always avoid it. What you can do, is figure out whether or not he’s playing you early on in the relationship. That way, there’s minimal pain you’ll have to deal with.
If you don’t find out for a very long time, it can hurt worse than if you figure it out early. That’s why we’re here to help. These are the best ways to tell if a guy is playing you or if he’s genuinely interested.
- He always says what you want to hear.
Guys who are players are very good at telling you exactly what you want to hear. If you think your man is always saying the right things to make you melt, it’s possible he’s playing you. Guys who are players like to manipulate girls into thinking they’re super into them, when in reality, he’s saying those very same things to another girl.
- But he doesn’t say much of value.
When you two talk, if it’s more about how happy he is to be there or how he feels connected to you, but he never says why, it could be because he doesn’t have a reason. That’s just another way you can tell he’s playing you. If he talks and talks but doesn’t say anything that’s meaningful, he could be a player.
- He’s very vague with his life and plans.
Does he talk about things that are happening in his life. Does he talk about his job and friends and plans for the week or month? If not, he may be playing you. Someone who doesn’t want to tell you their plans don’t want you knowing about them for a reason. If he’s super vague about what he’s doing over the weekend or what big things are happening for him, it may have to do with him playing you.
- He calls you by pet names…ALL THE TIME.
Pet names are really cute and adorable. Being called baby, and sweetheart, and honey can make a girl melt. The only problem with this is that if it’s all the time, it could be a sign you’re being played. Pet names are often used by players as a means to not call a girl by the wrong name because he has so many he can’t keep track.
- He never makes plans more than a day or so out.
If it’s a Monday and you try to make plans for the weekend and he just can’t commit to them, it could be a sign a guy is playing you. This is usually because he wants to see if there are any other girls he wants to hang out with more available before he can make plans with you. Either that, or he wants his plans open so he can do whatever he wants.
- He shields his phone from you.
People who hide their phone are always a little sketchy. What’s so private they can’t have their phone out around you? I know it may seem romantic that they want to keep their phone put away during a date, but if they deliberately turn their phone away from you when they get a text or call, it could be because they’re playing you.
- You’re never introduced as his girlfriend.
If you two have been together for a while and you feel like you can accurately call him your boyfriend, yet you’re never introduced as his girlfriend, it could be because he’s playing you. When a guy won’t call you his girlfriend, it’s usually because he wants to not be exclusive and therefore, see other girls.
- He doesn’t talk about how he feels about you.
When a guy tells you that he thinks you’re amazing and cute and funny, that’s not telling him how he feels about you, that’s listing characteristics he likes. If he never actually comes out and tells you that he likes you or anything close to that, he could be avoiding confessing that he doesn’t see a future with you.
- His compliments are always based on looks.
And when he does give you compliments, they’re mostly based on your looks. While those compliments are always nice, they don’t mean as much. Any guy can look at you and admire your looks, but if he can’t tell you something he likes about your personality, it’s because he’s not paying much attention to it.
- He’s very touchy-feely but not emotional.
If he’s all over you and hugging you and kissing you and even having sex with you, but he’s not really emotional or open about how he feels, he could be playing you. AKA, he could just be using you for sex and the physical aspects of a relationship.
- You’ve never met his friends.
I know it can take some time before a couple is ready to meet each other’s friends, but if you’ve been together for a while and he never has introduced you to them, it could be a sign of him playing you. When he doesn’t want you to know people in his life, he’s not serious about you.
- Or his family.
Again, meeting the family is a really big step, but depending on how long you’ve been together, you should meet them eventually. And if he also never even talks about his family, you can assume that he doesn’t intend for you to ever know them.
- He hardly talks about himself.
How much do you really know about this guy? I know you may know what his favorite color or food is, but if you don’t know what he wants to do with his life or what his biggest goals are, there’s a problem. If he never really talks about himself, it’s probably because he doesn’t see a reason for you to get to know him.
- He never talks about the future.
How often do you hear him talking about his future plans and what he wants to do? If it’s pretty much never, it may be a sign he’s playing you. When guys don’t talk about the future around you, it’s because he doesn’t really see you as a part of that future and he wants to avoid talks about those things in general.
- He doesn’t care about your friends or family.
If he really never asks about your friends or family and he definitely avoids trying to meet your friends in general, he could be playing you. Guys who have a bunch of girls at their disposal don’t care about one of their friends. He doesn’t want to form an attachment in that way and meeting the friends or family definitely does that.
Guys who are players are the worst. They basically fake their way into your heart and then rip it out when they never call again. Catching these signs early can help you avoid that.