How to get a boyfriend in high school

By on December 16, 2013

So my last article, ‘How to get a boyfriend’, kind of got me thinking. Are these rules always they same? Is there ever an exception or an environment that changes things and at what point in our lives, if any, does peer pressure play a part? I took some time to look back over my own experiences and found one blindingly obvious answer: high school.

Depending on our location, we spend anything from three to seven years in high school and it’s in those years that we begin to mature, begin to experiment and, ultimately, find ourselves. High school is a journey, not just of becoming educated but of finding out who we are and learning how to go from being a child, to a teen and then an adult. It’s arguable that it’s the most important time in our lives and shapes how we turn out.

In todays world, relationships are ever more prominent in school. Some last, some don’t but just about every teen wants to be in one if only to see what all the fuss is about. There lies the problem. Most people begin their first relationship in high school but, as it’s their first, starting one can be awkward. You have no idea where to start looking for a boyfriend or how to get a guy interested. That’s why I’ve come up with some handy tips to help.


Tip One – Be Friends First

Chances are, if you’re in high school, you already know they guy you would like to be your boyfriend. You’re likely to have seen him in a lot of your classes or bump into him in the hall. Does that mean he’s boyfriend material though? No. Just because you’ve admired him at a distance or perhaps shared a few words with him, doesn’t mean you should grab the bull by the horns and ask him out. I advise getting to know him as a friend first. Ask him if you can borrow a pen in class, this will get you talking. From there, ask him a bit about himself, get to know what he likes and see if you’ve got anything in common. Trust me when I say the best relationships are based on friendship. If a friendship forms, hang out with him more and more. A spark will either form between you or it won’t. Just remember you can’t force love.


Tip Two – Be Casual

Okay, so I know you’re nervous. Your stomach is probably in knots just thinking about talking to him and your palms are probably sticky with sweat. Just relax. Take a deep breath and calm down. He’s just a guy, a human just like you, he won’t bite! If you let yourself be overrun by nerves when you speak to him, he’ll see it. You’ll probably end up acting a little weird, if not awkward, and scaring him off. Just be yourself.


Tip Three – Be You

High school is notorious for socially excluding people because they’re different. Everyone is desperate to fit in and not be the misfit of the class which all too often means people’s uniqueness can remain hidden. You are you though and that’s all you should ever aim to be. Don’t change yourself to fit in with the crowd. Your guy (and a lot of others!) will probably admire that you aren’t afraid to show your true colors. You wouldn’t like it if you found out he was pretending to be someone else, would you? No, I thought not, so remember he feels the same. 


Tip Four – Don’t Feel Pressured

Now, before you skip over this paragraph, I want you to ask yourself this: why do you want a boyfriend so bad? If the answer includes anything even remotely like ‘to fit in’, ‘because everyone else has one’ or ‘I’m 16 and have never had one’, please stop looking for one now. That’s peer pressure talking, not your actual desires. Yes, falling in love is amazing. It’s great having someone to share the good times with, to snuggle with at night and to pick you up when you’re down but you can’t force those things. Most high school relationships don’t last so don’t worry if you don’t have one. My first relationship started when I left school and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Some people just aren’t ready for a relationship at that age, they’re already busy enough with life in general and are more than happy being single. Being young and single is an amazing and freeing experience so don’t feel you have to throw it away in a rush. Enjoy what you have. 


Okay, so I admit it, that wasn’t exactly a step by step guide on bagging a guy but honesty there’s no better advice anyone can give you. Yes, there are ways to attract guys more easily, things you can do to make him more likely to like you out, but unless you get the fundamental things I’ve just mentioned right none of that matters. Batting your eyelids will get you nowhere if you don’t let your personality shine and flirting with him is pointless if you want a relationship for the wrong reasons. High school is only the beginning of adulthood, so I ask you, where’s the rush?


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