He Says He Just Wants to Be Friends, But His Actions Show Differently

By on June 10, 2018

When you love someone, you want them to love you back right away and to know how they feel. After telling your crush how much you liked him, he told you that he just wants to be friends. Hearing this is a blow, but you started to move on and heal over time. The only problem is that his actions show a different mindset. He says he just wants to be friends, but his actions show differently. He is acting like your boyfriend and becoming jealous when other guys seem close to you. How can he be jealous if he only wants to have you as a friend? Is he trying to mess with your heart or is there another reason for the way that he is acting?

 he says he wants to be friends but i know he likes me

He Says He Just Wants to Be Friends, But His Actions Show Differently

Men have a habit of sending confusing signals. Unfortunately, we can’t be mind readers. Unless you can divine what is going on in his mind, you have to try to guess what he wants. Luckily, there are a few tools at your disposal. There are common signs and body language that can show what a guy actually wants.

When you asked him about it, he says he just wants to be friends. His actions show another side to the story. For some reason, his body language and behavior keeps showing that he would like to be more than just friends with you. At first, it might make you hopeful. Before long, you probably feel frustrated and annoyed. How could he possibly say he just wants to be friends when his actions say that he wants so much more?

The most common reason is that he does not know what he actually wants. He may be afraid of ruining your friendship by dating, or he may not understand all of his feelings for you. He may have a bigger crush on someone else that he wants to pursue first, or he may be unable to date because he is so busy right now. If he just got out of a bad relationship, he might want to heal and be single before he tries dating again. Whatever the case, there are many reasons why he might want to be friends, even if he has feelings for you.

If you are confused about whether he likes you as more than just a friend, there are a few common signs to look for. These body language signs can help you tell if your crush could want something more from you—at least, whenever he gets around to consciously realizing it.

He Says He Just Wants to Be Friends But His Actions Show Differently

The Tops Signs He Likes You As More Than a Friend

1. He Likes to Surprise You

Someone is not going to go out of their way to create an elaborate surprise for just a friend. A small gift or snack would be a friendly gesture, but a birthday scavenger hunt is certainly not. If your guy goes out of his way to remember what you like and to surprise you with it, then he may want to be more than just friends.

2. He Likes to Spend Time With Just You

Friends are fine with hanging out in a group. If he tries to spend alone time with you, then he may have more than just friendly feelings. Also, look at how he acts when he is in a group. If he focuses on you or always watches where you go in the group, then he may have deeper feelings.

3. He Tries to Be Intimate

Body language is important. Touching the elbow, brushing hair off of your face or sitting super close to you are all signs that he may want to be more than friends. This is especially true if you are not close friends yet. You might sit close to or touch a really good friend, but you wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that to a casual acquaintance unless you liked them.

4. He Talks to You Constantly

When you wake up in the morning, he sends you a good morning text. Throughout the day, you get a constant stream of texts from him. While some good friends text and talk all the time, it is also possible that he wants something more. At the very least, you can bet that you are always in his thoughts.

He Says He Just Wants to be Friends But Acts Differently

Why Would He Say That He Just Wants to Be Friends?

He says he just wants to be friends, but his actions show differently. This situation can happen for a number of reasons. The following are the most common reasons why a guy may want to be just friends when he acts like he wants more.

He Is Really Flirty: Unfortunately, this is a very common reason. Some guys just have flirty natures. To see if this is the reason, see how he acts around other women. If he behaves the same way with every other lady, then he is just a flirt.

He Doesn't Want A Girlfriend But He Acts Like Your Boyfriend

He Doesn’t Have the Time: Relationships take time and effort to work out. If he is focusing on graduating from med school or getting the next promotion, he might not have the time for a relationship. If you know that he spends four hours each night practicing his favorite sport after school, then he may have just turned you down because he can’t handle anything else in his life.

He Is Afraid of Ruining Your Friendship: This is another common reason. If you are best friends, then he needs you for support and someone to hang out with. If you dated and broke up, he would lose one of his best friends. While best friends make for the best spouses, he’d end up with nothing if you broke up. He may just be afraid that dating would end up ruining the friendship that you have together.

He Isn’t Ready: If he just got out of a bad relationship, he might not be ready to date again. There is also a chance that he just isn’t ready to be with you. Some guys want to get to know a girl before they date her or make it official. He may just need more time to get to know your personality better before he decides if you two are the perfect pair or not.


  1. Avatar


    February 3, 2019 at 4:12 pm

    I’ve had a confusing time with a friend he messages all time and we work together on weekends we also go out for a meal every now and again but keeps saying he wants to be just friends as no spark when clearly there is and other people have commented on it to
    Why does he do this we argue and play like husband and wife and he gets jealous when I talk to other men and when I was planning on moving away he begged me to stay saying he needed his friend he hates it when I don’t talk to him and everyone can see how miserable he is if we fall out and now someone asked him and he said he doesn’t want to ruin a friendship but he doesn’t old me it was because no spark and I’m like a sister to him I just don’t know what to think I’m so confused

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 4, 2019 at 1:02 pm

      He has informed you that he is not interested in developing a romantic relationship with you. This means that he has no reason to feel jealous if you spend time with other men. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings again. If he explains that he doesn’t want to nourish this relationship, then explain that you are going to develop relationships with people who see a future with you. His response will help you determine what your course of action should be. Have a great day, Jane!

  2. Avatar


    August 28, 2018 at 5:30 pm

    HI.. This is a long story, and I am not sure I will get a reply :D.

    I fall in love with my best friend, but before I confess to him, one of my friends suddenly told me that he had a girlfriend. I was so brokenhearted and felt betrayed. How could he became my best friend and lied to me? I have asked this before to him, but he lied and said he didn’t have a girlfriend. He was flirty, asked me out on a dinner, texted me every day, and called me almost every day. I blocked him in all SNS as it was too painful to even talked with him. But he kept trying to reconnect. He came to my home, kneeled and begged on my door for my forgiveness, said that he could not live without me.

    I forgive him, but I said still need time to recover. I got a new job offer in another city and decided to move. Everything in my city reminds me of him. He kept trying to contact me, but I ignored. Later on, I heard he had broken up with his girlfriend, almost at the same time as I moved. My feeling has never changed, and I am a brave girl that honest with my feeling, so I replied to his email, and asked him to meet. I came, met him, apologized for never given him a chance to explain, and confessed my love. But he rejected me. He said he had been thinking a lot, and said a relationship between us will be too complicated. He is an immature and childish guy, but I love him just like the way he is. I thanked him for his time, accepted his rejection, and returned to my home. I told him, I could not be his friend anymore until my feeling has changed. I still blocked him, and I already changed my phone number.

    So it came to my surprise that he finally found my phone number and tried to call me every day. at first I ignored him, but in the end, I gave up. I talked to him, asked what he wanted from me. He just said he missed his friend. I was disappointed, realize he will never change his mind about me. I answered him with a short answer. Then, everything just like the way it was. He texted me a lot, and called me, even he did not have any important thing to talk. I am running out of patience and confront him. What does he really feel about me? What am I to him? He insists that he just see me as a friend. I told him that he was dishonest with me and his feeling, and he was too coward to live without me but never appreciated my feeling and boundaries. This insult is too much for him, so he cut the calls and never contacts me anymore this week.

    I actually really do not care about this, but I am just curious. Does he really genuine with his feeling of being a friend? is there any kind of girl-boy’s friendship like this? or he just using me as an ego boost as he probably is lonely… he does not have a lot of friends, while I am the opposite, I am a kind of girl who easily makes a friend.

    Thank you

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 28, 2018 at 11:47 pm

      It sounds as though he has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He is interested in maintaining a friendship with you. He may have stronger emotional feelings. He may simply view you as a friend. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Nana!

  3. Avatar


    July 25, 2018 at 11:59 am

    OK I was young single in 20’s gotten myself involved with a married guy I had best sex ever with marry guy,We had ups and downs,Yes his wife knows me almost in jail but lucky I didn’t. So I let him ago and yes I can’t tell him how I feel is not right,And I hide years on and one nite seen him at bar that when I told I was leaving that’s when he told me how he felt .After I left 10 years ago We always find keep way to keep in touch each especially when come down seen him this 10 yrs he was shock to see me lift me up and giving me sweetest kissing on I was cloud 9 and two days we went to motel nervous around me having sex since I’m single still he’s still marry same person he’s repeat I wanted hurt u or wife.. drop me off that day..I went to store with my sister try tell what happened instead I smile. Later on I gotten message from him telling someone had text his daughter they better stopped.. I felt he’s blame me..I text him tell I just gotten back what’s message about.. haven’t talk to in four days.I thinking him every day and nite and I thinking he’s guilty and whole thing don’t want nothing to do with me for good.. Guess gives him time.

    • web admin

      web admin

      July 25, 2018 at 3:42 pm

      He is married. You are aware that your actions have harmed his relationship. His daughter has informed him that she is aware of his behaviors. This relationship is not your fault, however you are allowing this relationship to continue. Abstain from reaching out to him at this time. You will want to take this time to determine what you want for your future without him. Have a great day, Joy!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *