He Says He Just Wants to Be Friends, But His Actions Show Differently

By on June 10, 2018

When you love someone, you want them to love you back right away and to know how they feel. After telling your crush how much you liked him, he told you that he just wants to be friends. Hearing this is a blow, but you started to move on and heal over time. The only problem is that his actions show a different mindset. He says he just wants to be friends, but his actions show differently. He is acting like your boyfriend and becoming jealous when other guys seem close to you. How can he be jealous if he only wants to have you as a friend? Is he trying to mess with your heart or is there another reason for the way that he is acting?

 he says he wants to be friends but i know he likes me

He Says He Just Wants to Be Friends, But His Actions Show Differently

Men have a habit of sending confusing signals. Unfortunately, we can’t be mind readers. Unless you can divine what is going on in his mind, you have to try to guess what he wants. Luckily, there are a few tools at your disposal. There are common signs and body language that can show what a guy actually wants.

When you asked him about it, he says he just wants to be friends. His actions show another side to the story. For some reason, his body language and behavior keeps showing that he would like to be more than just friends with you. At first, it might make you hopeful. Before long, you probably feel frustrated and annoyed. How could he possibly say he just wants to be friends when his actions say that he wants so much more?

The most common reason is that he does not know what he actually wants. He may be afraid of ruining your friendship by dating, or he may not understand all of his feelings for you. He may have a bigger crush on someone else that he wants to pursue first, or he may be unable to date because he is so busy right now. If he just got out of a bad relationship, he might want to heal and be single before he tries dating again. Whatever the case, there are many reasons why he might want to be friends, even if he has feelings for you.

If you are confused about whether he likes you as more than just a friend, there are a few common signs to look for. These body language signs can help you tell if your crush could want something more from you—at least, whenever he gets around to consciously realizing it.

He Says He Just Wants to Be Friends But His Actions Show Differently

The Tops Signs He Likes You As More Than a Friend

1. He Likes to Surprise You

Someone is not going to go out of their way to create an elaborate surprise for just a friend. A small gift or snack would be a friendly gesture, but a birthday scavenger hunt is certainly not. If your guy goes out of his way to remember what you like and to surprise you with it, then he may want to be more than just friends.

2. He Likes to Spend Time With Just You

Friends are fine with hanging out in a group. If he tries to spend alone time with you, then he may have more than just friendly feelings. Also, look at how he acts when he is in a group. If he focuses on you or always watches where you go in the group, then he may have deeper feelings.

3. He Tries to Be Intimate

Body language is important. Touching the elbow, brushing hair off of your face or sitting super close to you are all signs that he may want to be more than friends. This is especially true if you are not close friends yet. You might sit close to or touch a really good friend, but you wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that to a casual acquaintance unless you liked them.

4. He Talks to You Constantly

When you wake up in the morning, he sends you a good morning text. Throughout the day, you get a constant stream of texts from him. While some good friends text and talk all the time, it is also possible that he wants something more. At the very least, you can bet that you are always in his thoughts.

He Says He Just Wants to be Friends But Acts Differently

Why Would He Say That He Just Wants to Be Friends?

He says he just wants to be friends, but his actions show differently. This situation can happen for a number of reasons. The following are the most common reasons why a guy may want to be just friends when he acts like he wants more.

He Is Really Flirty: Unfortunately, this is a very common reason. Some guys just have flirty natures. To see if this is the reason, see how he acts around other women. If he behaves the same way with every other lady, then he is just a flirt.

He Doesn't Want A Girlfriend But He Acts Like Your Boyfriend

He Doesn’t Have the Time: Relationships take time and effort to work out. If he is focusing on graduating from med school or getting the next promotion, he might not have the time for a relationship. If you know that he spends four hours each night practicing his favorite sport after school, then he may have just turned you down because he can’t handle anything else in his life.

He Is Afraid of Ruining Your Friendship: This is another common reason. If you are best friends, then he needs you for support and someone to hang out with. If you dated and broke up, he would lose one of his best friends. While best friends make for the best spouses, he’d end up with nothing if you broke up. He may just be afraid that dating would end up ruining the friendship that you have together.

He Isn’t Ready: If he just got out of a bad relationship, he might not be ready to date again. There is also a chance that he just isn’t ready to be with you. Some guys want to get to know a girl before they date her or make it official. He may just need more time to get to know your personality better before he decides if you two are the perfect pair or not.

55 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Katelyn

    January 25, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    Kind of hoping for some advice so I’m in college and I’m mutual friends with this guy he talks about my “figure” to me and is always hugging me and getting close to me but when this other girl comes around (let’s call her claire) he completely ignores me I confronted him about this and he says he just wants to be friends so should I distance myself from him (ex spend less time around him etc) or should I continue as if normal

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 27, 2020 at 7:29 pm

      I might try acting like normal around him for just a bit longer. If he does like you and isn’t confident about your feelings, he may have told you he just wants to be friends because he’s afraid of your response. It’s also possible that he likes both of you, or he likes Claire and wants to be close to you so that you’ll give him advice about her. I’d probably spend a couple more weeks trying to figure out what is going on before you decide to move on for sure. Good luck!

    • Avatar

      Nichol Villagomez

      February 3, 2020 at 3:16 pm

      When a guys says he wants to be firends but he touch’s you and hold your hand what does that mean ??

      • web admin

        web admin

        February 3, 2020 at 7:18 pm

        His statements have revealed that he may not be interested in nourishing a romantic relationship with you. However, his physical behaviors are indications that he may be interested in maintaining a physical or romantic relationship with you. Speak with him about what you feel is appropriate.

    • Avatar

      Britney

      February 3, 2020 at 3:17 pm

      When a guys says he wants to be firends but he touch’s you and hold your hand what does that mean ??

      • web admin

        web admin

        February 3, 2020 at 7:13 pm

        His statements have revealed that he may not be interested in nourishing a romantic relationship with you. However, his physical behaviors are indications that he may be interested in maintaining a physical or romantic relationship with you. Speak with him about what you feel is appropriate.

  2. Avatar

    Ama

    January 19, 2020 at 11:42 pm

    Me and this guy have been friends since we were little. I moved away but our dads have kept in touch.. they’re literally best friends. Anyway so fast forward to now, he just got out of a bad relationship..we’ve been conversing. At first I thought we hit it off well and we did .. we kind of have a history. Then I started developing feelings as we talked some more everyday, I would be at his place, we would cuddle each other to sleep (he didn’t want to have sex with me by the way because he didn’t wanna ruin things between us) have movie nights… I felt like I was in a relationship . Things were becoming unclear so I asked him what we were doing as in terms of well.. us. He said he wanted to be friends. I couldn’t get mad at that because he had just gotten out of a relationship he didn’t wanna rush. But as time progressed? I was falling for him. We are friends doing relationship things but he wants to be just friends, meanwhile I think he’s entertaining other women well I feel that he is. Kinda heartbreaking to even think that. I want to take a step back to protect myself. I really care for him but I just can’t with him any longer. I know what I want with him but I’m not so sure with him. It’s quite frustrating, I’ve been single for 7 years I thought us connecting would be different ..my single streak was over, apparently I’m wrong. I’m in the friend zone and it sucks. It’s sucks that he knows how I feel about him but he wants to be just friends.

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 20, 2020 at 12:24 pm

      It is horrible finding the right person and realizing that they just aren’t ready for a real relationship. In this case, it sounds like all he really wanted was a friendship or a friends-with-benefits situation. Whatever the case, it seems like the only thing you can do is move on and hope to find the right person since it seems unlikely that he’ll change his mind anytime soon.

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