Do’s and Don’ts for Texting Your Crush
You’ve got butterflies in your belly and a phone in your hand – your crush has texted you, or given you his number. Now what?
There are some simple guidelines for texting your crush. Whilst each person is unique, most of us have some things in common when it comes to flirting and chatting via text and it’s recommended that you follow the below do’s and don’ts…in most cases.
Don’t Reply to Every Text Straight Away
Most people like if you reply within a reasonable amount of time, but if you stop everything you are doing to reply to a text every time you get one, the other person will start thinking you’ve got nothing going on in your life.
Whilst it’s nice to get into a proper texting conversation with someone, where both of you reply straight away, when you receive the first text, or aren’t into the conversation yet, take your time. Sometimes that can be ten minutes, sometimes an hour, or even more if you have a busy day.
Also, if you are at work, studying, or doing something important, wait awhile and see it as a treat when you get to reply – like after finishing that deathly boring task you know you need to get finished. If you text non-stop you won’t get any work done and a crush should never get between you and becoming the next Queen of whatever career you’ve chosen, or for that matter: stop you from being present when hanging out with your friends.
Do Think Before You Text
Sometimes when we get a text we are busy doing something else and don’t properly read the text, or we get so happy, or so angry, we don’t stop to think before replying. This often leads to us either misinterpreting the text, or replying in a way we will later regret. If we actually stop to think for a minute or two we usually come up with something more interesting or funny to say.
Do Crack Jokes
Who can resist someone funny? Given you really are funny that is…
Do Send Images
Sometimes a funny image, or an image to show where you are is easier than texting about it.
Don’t Put LOL at the End of Each Sentence
Sometimes LOL or haha really should be in the text, but not always.
Also, if you are flirting, or use a bit of sexy innuendo, if you finish it with LOL it comes across as if you are insecure, or as you are trying to show you don’t really mean what you just said. Why else would you put LOL after it?
Don’t Send Those Kind of Photos of Yourself Unless You Are in a Relationship
Yes, sexy photos are sexy…if you know the guy is seriously into you and you’ve already seen each other naked. Unless you want to be taken for a mail order bride, hold off with the naughtiness till you are a real item. After all, you don’t want to find the very same image all over the internet and Facebook, do you?
Don’t Wait Days to Text After a Date
No, there isn’t a three day rule that says you have to wait three days to text someone. Usually if someone has any kind of decency, they text you within 24 hours of a date. If they don’t, send one text and gauge the feedback, but as a general rule – guys text first after a date…there is always that one exception to the rule though.
Do End a Conversation That’s Fizzling Out
If you feel he doesn’t reply with any kind of enthusiasm (and it isn’t because he is terrible at texting, but because he’s simply not into the conversation anymore), end it. Say you have something to do, or if there is a natural ending, stop texting.
If he’s just replying with short texts, nothing interesting, then also end the conversation. A simple “Right, gotta go. Catch ya later.” or “Cool. See you later alligator.” or “Sounds great. Laters.” might work, depending on what he just said. Or as mentioned – sometimes the conversation comes to a natural halt.
Do Ask Questions
A conversation will end if no one is asking questions. If in doubt, check out an article I wrote about great questions to ask your crush!
Do Use Emoticons
Why not add a touch of color? Sometimes it can add humor to a point too.
Don’t Over Use Emoticons
Seriously.
Don’t Start Serious Conversations Randomly
You can get deep and philosophical over text – it can be really cool. Sometimes conversations go that way. But if you intend to ask a guy if he has feelings for you, or anything else that’s serious, the best place to do that is face to face.
Don’t Dump Someone Over Text
Ever.
If you’ve been talking a lot to your crush, but suddenly started seeing this other guy, don’t tell him over text, OK?
Don’t Use Abbreviations All the Time
Hey, hw r u? Want 2 c a movie 2nite?
It gets annoying. Really annoying.
Also keep a check on:
– their, there and they’re
– we’re, were and where
– you’re and your
Do Start a Conversation
Sure, guys should chase the girl. Sometimes it’s great to leave a day or two in between texting, but also show you are interested. Start some of the conversations.
If you just got his number and want a way to start a conversation a few days later (unless it’s after a date, then it should be within 24 hours, really) then send him a text when you come across something you have chatted to him about before. Like “I just saw that car you were on about. Looks real cool.” And attach a photo of said car. Or, to keep it real simple “Hey, how’s your day going? How’s this for an awesome winter’s day? Ice skating all day :)”
Do Wink and Hint
If you get the feeling he’s interested, play with a bit of innuendo and flirting. Don’t over do it though. Every message doesn’t have to be flirtatious. Remember – the best person to fall in love with is your best friend, so chat to him about all sorts of things. Maybe just not your period.
Don’t Tell Him How Hot All the Other Guys Are
If you’ve been to the movies and walked out with a massive crush on Chris Helmsworth, you probably shouldn’t tell your crush. Unless you want to hear how hot Angelina Jolie is, that is.
Don’t Downplay Yourself
As with putting a LOL by the end of every sentence (to ensure he knows you could just be kidding, don’t really mean it, aren’t really trying to flirt, or don’t take yourself seriously) saying things like “that’s not really a great text, but you get what I mean,” “that’s probably not the answer you wanted,” and “I really can’t express myself well when texting” after every other sentence isn’t gonna make you look like a confident person either.
Of course you can say these things if you really mean it – you might be terrible at texting, or you really messed up a reply and hit send without thinking – but then say it once and once only. And be confident about it, or have some fun with it:
“Oups, that came out wrong – I was trying to multitask and obviously didn’t think about what I was texting about LOL”
“I really suck at texting – it’s sooo much easier to talk to people in real life!”
“Man, I’m terrible at writing texts. Luckily I’m better in person ;)”
Image Sources: Pinterest.com, deerval.com and realtormobile.net
By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery
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Teresa
September 23, 2019 at 6:01 pm
OK so I got this guy’s number and he’s a year older than me. Everything was going great so far (keep in mind it’s only been a day) I text him a simple”hey what’s up?” and he replies that he’s sick. I tell him to drink a ton of water. We both love memes so I send him one and I’m put on read. I don’t text anything else and keep it at that, Is he losing interest after only one day or is he just sick? I know that when I’m sick I want my space… What should I text to him tomorrow?
web admin
December 24, 2019 at 11:16 am
I think that he’s just sick and didn’t realize he had to respond to a meme that was just supposed to cheer him up. I would just wait until he gets better and text him again then. Good luck!
John Shifu
September 2, 2019 at 2:27 am
A good point made on thinking before you text. Most people get so excited after receiving a text from their crush that they totally mess it up.
web admin
September 2, 2019 at 9:01 pm
Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights. We always appreciate when members of our community share their supportive comments. Please share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, John!
very confused
June 9, 2019 at 6:41 pm
So this guy randomly adds me on snap (from search, which is on my insta page, which he followed some time back) and he’s a popular guy- I’m not super popular, but I have a bunch of friends. I’m def not the most attractive girl at the place but a lot of people tell me I’m pretty. I had liked him a lil bit beforehand and so it was pretty cool to talk to him. In the days after (it’s been about 4 or 5) he never left me on read except for once or twice, and he’d be on sporadically. For example he’d send me a lot of snaps in one day and then leave me on delivered for a while, then snap again, etc. All my friends except one think he’s a player and a jerk but they don’t know him. He’s very nice to me, and apologizes for the times he leaves me on read/delivered. He is the one who initiates the conversations, always with like a ‘what’s up’ or ‘I’m so tired’, etc, just something random to get the convo started. Every day. (He hasn’t asked for pics or anything either and I don’t think he will). He has also turned the conversation around into talking about relationships and what we think of the other person, and so far he has told that he is single and thinks I’m ‘not ugly’, in his words (the very first day we talked). I said the exact same to him. However, all of my friends think that he talks to a lot of girls, and I don’t know whether it’s true or not, but as he is popular it’s probably true. I don’t know whether I’m being played or if he actually likes me. I get the feeling he does but there’s a gut feeling that he doesn’t because of his popularity and what my friends tell me. Does this determine anything?
web admin
June 9, 2019 at 10:12 pm
The two of you are developing a social relationship. It is possible that he is interested in maintaining an emotional relationship with you. Make a decision about what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Confused!
Martin
August 1, 2018 at 3:27 am
Hi Maria, these tips and questions are very good to approach my crush. Thanks for sharing these questions.
web admin
August 1, 2018 at 4:16 pm
Thank you for sharing your positive comment. Please share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Martin!
Pear
July 27, 2017 at 11:35 am
We were talking on text everyday I don’t know why but he seems to be changed. He doesn’t msg me now.I msgd him today he read my msg but didn’t reply.When we were talking I asked whether we were friends and he said may be more than that.If he really means then why is he ignoring me.Should I delete his no.But I miss him everyday and I have fallen for him
web admin
July 27, 2017 at 5:47 pm
It sounds as though he is confused or uncertain about your feelings toward him. It is also possible that his feelings have faded. Take this time to determine what you want with your relationship with him. If you want to develop a relationship with him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. If you do not want to be with him, then allow him to fade from your life. Have a great day, Pear!
Pear
July 27, 2017 at 10:45 pm
Thank you!
Bluesea
July 7, 2016 at 1:04 am
I left a comment/my loong bitter love story here but I cannot find it in the comments section. Is it bc its awaiting moderation 🙁 I would really, deeply appreciate it if u could reply. Apologizing in advance if I’m wrong in any way :*
bluesea
July 6, 2016 at 3:07 pm
So I’m in love with my best friend since the past three to four years. We met and became friends about six years ago. At first it was all platonic for me. We found that we were kinda very in sync mentally, got along well (tho she is the kind that gets along well w pretty much everyone. I am very introverted, tho). We were separated after barely five/six months of friendship, tho, after I left the tuition class we were in. But we considered each other good friends even if we didn’t text often back then (back then when unlimited internet access wasn’t popular here where I stay); she came to meet me once and I had talked nonstop about my new crush to her, and she told me her stuff, we had fun, etc etc. Though we didn’t meet often/text often, we considered each other very good friends. And then after a few more months I had to MOVE to another place for education. We met before I left, talked of even moving TOGETHER somehow, lol. But ofcourse we didn’t move together (wasn’t practically possible), she stayed and I moved. After that we weren’t in contact for a few long months, until I texted, wanting to know what she was pursuing educationally, how her life is etc. We stayed in touch occasionally after that. Internet was now easily accessible and we texted frequently. She once told me of her crush and how he hurt her by calling her a LESBIAN, before his friends, no less (she is kind of a tomboy, and is into boxing). I was hurt and angry her sake and told her to stop thinking of that guy. Now at this point, I was kinda friendless in this new place, I was kinda isolated, and my heart longed for my best friend who is away. And anyway, things weren’t working out well for me in this new place, so I dropped my education there and moved back to my old place (but I should stress that it really was not to go back to her. I hardly even thought of it that way. I only missed her as a friend. I moved back bc my education wasn’t going well in this new place).
So I got back to my old place, called her, we met and hugged and were so happy and vowed to keep spending time and have fun w each other. Now as fate would have it, coincidentally, I joined the same college she went to. She pursued a different course than I tho, but we would often adjust our times so we could leave the college together/ meet etc. It was at this point that I started falling for her.
After a year or so I confessed. She took it kinda coolly/ without any shock, as tho she knew it already. It was a little weird between us anyway for those past few weeks where we had a sleepover, and she and me had sorta cuddled and stared at each others eyes and idk, it was way intimate for two friends. Also, the thing we were discussing/whispering like lovers to each other that night was about how (that same day itself) she had discouraged a guy from flirting w me. I hadn’t even noticed she had done that, so she actually TELLS me she had done that, and I, being already in love w her, was…feeling a strange joy. But few days after this, and she started to emotionally withdraw and fights occurred between us and that was when in the middle of a fight over text I told her that I love her.
We were in a strange/awkward phase after that, walking on eggshells around each other; it sorta dwindled to not talking at all. But then we met again after not texting for a few long weeks and we hugged hard and were almost teary-eyed.
After that our friendship got stronger. I would often voice my disapproval of her potential-crushes and she would actually a lot of times would take it laughingly, as tho she were enjoying the jealousy. It was kinda strangely fun for me too sometimes, as strange as it sounds, bc it felt as tho she were welcoming my feelings.
But this careful avoidance of open discussion of my feelings yet it being present as an open secret between us and even embracing the subtle but undeniable signs of my possessiveness wouldn’t last for long. Some thing or the other would happen and we would fight again/come back together again. At one point I told her I hope she hadn’t forgotten that I love her, she said “you’re still in love?” and I said yes and she said this- what we have- cant even be called friendship and that its cracking and we’re just patching the holes. I said maybe we shouldn’t be friends anymore. She said yea okay. It hurt but we officially ‘split’ so to speak.
After a month my birthday comes along and she texts me happy bday and I dont respond. A month later, I respond. We both agree life was miserable and hellish without each other, and we start talking. Then she drops the bomb that she is DATING a guy. I kinda lose it and say that I hope she’ll b happy w this guy, but that I really cant b friends w her bc it HURTS. She frantically says that no no she’s going to dump him soon and that we shouldn’t break our friendship. I tell her to fuck off from my life (I’m not proud of having said it) but she clings on. We meet, talk, walk holding hands etc. She dumps him abruptly and the poor guy is shocked.
I tell her i love her again. When we meet and talk, its like we unconsciously drift close and..idk. Its… I want to be with her badly. Well, she tells me that she WONT date me. She loves me as a friend. I’m frustrated and lose my mind daily and tell her that maybe we really shouldn’t be friends. She agrees this time too.
We don’t text, dont talk. I unfriended her on facebook, blocked her on text, thinking that maybe that way i might gain my sanity. But i dont. I text her then and ask her if she wants to be friends w me again, tho i say that i dunno if i wanna apologize for everything cuz I’m sick of apologizing for acting out my feelings and that if we r friends again, i wont ever be a ‘regular’ friend. I say if u wish to be friends then reply otherwise dont. She doesn’t reply.
I then cut her off from all social medias, but i feel empty and i only miss her more. I text her one day to pls accept me on FB, bc cutting her off entirely only aggravated my melancholy. She does, she replies. But we talk of nothing more.
Months later (about a month ago from today) she texted me. Congratulating me for my graduation. I kinda cry seeing the texts, but dont reply, cuz I’m…broken.
But it was only a matter of time when I’d reply, and i did today.
We talked kinda warmly, albeit awkwardly initially. I miss her badly. I want her, but it feels like wishing for the moon or smth.
Does she like me? What should i do.
And gosh. Sorry for the sheer length of this question *facepalms* but i sorta let everything out here. Sincerely awaiting ur reply.
web admin
July 6, 2016 at 11:01 pm
Firstly, you need to never treat someone that you claim to love in such a disrespectful manner. Do not delete, ignore, or block someone that you claim to love. Since she has chosen to forgive you – and you should count yourself lucky – then you can decide to develop a relationship with her again.
Secondly, you do not have the right to expect her to treat you well when you stop being her friend because she is dating someone else. My advice is for you to take this time and look inward and determine why you have treated her so poorly.
From here on out, it is up to you to make a decision. Decide to be to good to here, decide to put your emotional poor decisions aside, and decide to no longer choose to hurt her because you can not control your emotions. If you want to develop a relationship with her, then do so. If she tells you that she can not do that, then remain friends with her. But, if you choose to not remain friends with her, then it would be better for her emotional well-being for you to stay away from her. Be good to her. She doesn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of an emotional roller coaster.
bluesea
July 7, 2016 at 1:43 am
Thank you so much for the reply.
Wow, you have literally opened my eyes and I’m glad that I decided to share my problem here. I was so blind, thinking of my feelings and my woes. Perhaps it was bc its been so long i am in love w her and she isn’t reciprocating it the way I want her to, so I grow bitter and sad and depressed. Even things like me making a plan for us to meet and she cancelling it the last moment for some reason or the other would upset me badly. I never heard an opinion from someone that perhaps I maybe hurting her too with the anger I show when she doesn’t reciprocate. BC up until now even all of my friends too would be protective and supportive of me and bitter and angry on her and blame her for the depressed state I would end up in. Like repeatedly they would tell me to leave her for the sake of my sanity; if she isn’t reciprocating, why constantly break ur heart over her.
But all those times I forgot that she is my FRIEND more than anything. I even told her that many times, ironically, when she would withdraw and I would beg her not to shut me out.
I think we both have our fair share of shutting each other out, but now I realize that I only worsened everything when I did it too. I should’ve always stayed a constant friend, no matter what. BC she is my best friend. So thank u so much for making me see that I wasn’t the victim here. I’ll make it up to her. Thank u for the eye opener :*
Lifesabitch
January 3, 2017 at 7:50 am
Leave the girl alone bro, go find a new hobby that will bring you back in your senses.
web admin
January 3, 2017 at 12:12 pm
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights. It is always beneficial to take time to yourself to gain perspective and to better understand your actions. Please feel free to share more of your thoughts in the future.