Do’s and Don’ts for Texting Your Crush

By on January 24, 2015

You’ve got butterflies in your belly and a phone in your hand – your crush has texted you, or given you his number. Now what?

There are some simple guidelines for texting your crush. Whilst each person is unique, most of us have some things in common when it comes to flirting and chatting via text and it’s recommended that you follow the below do’s and don’ts…in most cases.


Don’t Reply to Every Text Straight Away

Most people like if you reply within a reasonable amount of time, but if you stop everything you are doing to reply to a text every time you get one, the other person will start thinking you’ve got nothing going on in your life.

Whilst it’s nice to get into a proper texting conversation with someone, where both of you reply straight away, when you receive the first text, or aren’t into the conversation yet, take your time. Sometimes that can be ten minutes, sometimes an hour, or even more if you have a busy day.

Also, if you are at work, studying, or doing something important, wait awhile and see it as a treat when you get to reply – like after finishing that deathly boring task you know you need to get finished. If you text non-stop you won’t get any work done and a crush should never get between you and becoming the next Queen of whatever career you’ve chosen, or for that matter: stop you from being present when hanging out with your friends.

Do Think Before You Text

Sometimes when we get a text we are busy doing something else and don’t properly read the text, or we get so happy, or so angry, we don’t stop to think before replying. This often leads to us either misinterpreting the text, or replying in a way we will later regret. If we actually stop to think for a minute or two we usually come up with something more interesting or funny to say.

Do Crack Jokes

Who can resist someone funny? Given you really are funny that is…

Do Send Images

Sometimes a funny image, or an image to show where you are is easier than texting about it.

Don’t Put LOL at the End of Each Sentence

Sometimes LOL or haha really should be in the text, but not always.

Also, if you are flirting, or use a bit of sexy innuendo, if you finish it with LOL it comes across as if you are insecure, or as you are trying to show you don’t really mean what you just said. Why else would you put LOL after it?

Don’t Send Those Kind of Photos of Yourself Unless You Are in a Relationship

Yes, sexy photos are sexy…if you know the guy is seriously into you and you’ve already seen each other naked. Unless you want to be taken for a mail order bride, hold off with the naughtiness till you are a real item. After all, you don’t want to find the very same image all over the internet and Facebook, do you?

Don’t Wait Days to Text After a Date

No, there isn’t a three day rule that says you have to wait three days to text someone. Usually if someone has any kind of decency, they text you within 24 hours of a date. If they don’t, send one text and gauge the feedback, but as a general rule – guys text first after a date…there is always that one exception to the rule though.

Do End a Conversation That’s Fizzling Out

If you feel he doesn’t reply with any kind of enthusiasm (and it isn’t because he is terrible at texting, but because he’s simply not into the conversation anymore), end it. Say you have something to do, or if there is a natural ending, stop texting.

If he’s just replying with short texts, nothing interesting, then also end the conversation. A simple “Right, gotta go. Catch ya later.” or “Cool. See you later alligator.” or “Sounds great. Laters.” might work, depending on what he just said. Or as mentioned – sometimes the conversation comes to a natural halt.

Do Ask Questions

A conversation will end if no one is asking questions. If in doubt, check out an article I wrote about great questions to ask your crush!


Do Use Emoticons 

Why not add a touch of color? Sometimes it can add humor to a point too.

Don’t Over Use Emoticons


Don’t Start Serious Conversations Randomly 

You can get deep and philosophical over text – it can be really cool. Sometimes conversations go that way. But if you intend to ask a guy if he has feelings for you, or anything else that’s serious, the best place to do that is face to face.

Don’t Dump Someone Over Text


If you’ve been talking a lot to your crush, but suddenly started seeing this other guy, don’t tell him over text, OK?

Don’t Use Abbreviations All the Time

Hey, hw r u? Want 2 c a movie 2nite?

It gets annoying. Really annoying.

Also keep a check on:

– their, there and they’re

– we’re, were and where

– you’re and your

Do Start a Conversation

Sure, guys should chase the girl. Sometimes it’s great to leave a day or two in between texting, but also show you are interested. Start some of the conversations.

If you just got his number and want a way to start a conversation a few days later (unless it’s after a date, then it should be within 24 hours, really) then send him a text when you come across something you have chatted to him about before. Like “I just saw that car you were on about. Looks real cool.” And attach a photo of said car. Or, to keep it real simple “Hey, how’s your day going? How’s this for an awesome winter’s day? Ice skating all day :)”

Do Wink and Hint

If you get the feeling he’s interested, play with a bit of innuendo and flirting. Don’t over do it though. Every message doesn’t have to be flirtatious. Remember – the best person to fall in love with is your best friend, so chat to him about all sorts of things. Maybe just not your period.

Don’t Tell Him How Hot All the Other Guys Are

If you’ve been to the movies and walked out with a massive crush on Chris Helmsworth, you probably shouldn’t tell your crush. Unless you want to hear how hot Angelina Jolie is, that is.

Don’t Downplay Yourself 

As with putting a LOL by the end of every sentence (to ensure he knows you could just be kidding, don’t really mean it, aren’t really trying to flirt, or don’t take yourself seriously) saying things like “that’s not really a great text, but you get what I mean,” “that’s probably not the answer you wanted,” and “I really can’t express myself well when texting” after every other sentence isn’t gonna make you look like a confident person either.

Of course you can say these things if you really mean it – you might be terrible at texting, or you really messed up a reply and hit send without thinking – but then say it once and once only. And be confident about it, or have some fun with it:

“Oups, that came out wrong – I was trying to multitask and obviously didn’t think about what I was texting about LOL”

“I really suck at texting – it’s sooo much easier to talk to people in real life!”

“Man, I’m terrible at writing texts. Luckily I’m better in person ;)”


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1507760_10152392614860079_8379465670289960282_n copy 2By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery


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