Will He Come Back?

By on January 11, 2016






A breakup is incredibly difficult on both parties. The two of you are probably hurting, no matter who did the breaking up. One of the biggest thoughts running through your head is probably: will he come back? This is a question only time will answer, but we’re going to help your thought process a bit. We have a list of some of the main reasons a man may come back, a few questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not there is a chance of his returning, and what to do with yourself while you wait.

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Reasons He May Come Back

  1. He Misses You

The biggest reason anyone goes back to their ex is that they genuinely miss this person. They miss their smile, their personality, the fun the two of you had together; they miss everything about you. If he really misses you, he is going to come back. That’s just a fact of life. And if you leave the line of communication open, you will be hearing from him sooner or later.

  1. He Has Changed

If the two of you broke up because of something he was doing or a way he was acting, he will most likely return when these things have been rectified. For instance: if you were tired of him smoking cigarettes and he wouldn’t stop (even though promising for weeks that he would!), you may opt to leave him. At this point he will realize how much the relationship means to him and finally cut the bad habit. When it’s over, he might ask you out on a ‘smoke-free’ date; a big surprise for you, he’s actually given up the cigarettes just for you.

  1. He Regrets Breaking Up

On the other hand, if your ex-boyfriend broke up with you (for whatever reason), he may realize it was a mistake a few days or weeks down the road. This is rather common, as you know how the old saying goes: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. If he has lost you and regrets breaking up with you he will undoubtedly make an effort to return.

  1. He Misses the Sex

Okay, let’s just be honest: we all have needs. Especially men. If the two of you have broken up and he isn’t getting any action between the sheets, he may return to you for some good old fashion loving. In this situation I advise you to run for the hills; it has nothing to do with him missing you or wanting to be with you again, he simply wants to ‘get some’. Not cool!

  1. He Doesn’t Want to be Alone

Some people crave companionship and can’t stand being alone; even the thought of being alone drives them wild! If your guy is the type that loves to be in a relationship and hates to be alone, he may come back just to rekindle the companionship. It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to be with YOU, he just wants to be with SOMEONE. So be careful with this reason!

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Questions to Ask Yourself

  1. Did the relationship end on bad terms?

Were the two of you fighting excessively before the breakup occurred? Was there some kind of terrible event- perhaps cheating- that led to the breakup? If your relationship ended on bad terms, it’s probably best to leave the relationship in the past. Don’t worry about whether he will come back or not- if the relationship was that bad, it’s time to move on. You’re wasting not only your time, but your energy and emotions on something that probably won’t work in the future either.

  1. Is he mad at you about something?

Does your ex-boyfriend have something to be mad about? Did you do something to him or say something that has seriously pissed him off, so bad that the two of you broke up? Then I hate to say it, but he’s probably not coming back. In this particular situation it is YOU that will have to do the reaching out and rectifying. Why on earth would he make the effort when it is essentially your fault (not entirely of course, breakups are almost never one-sided)? He won’t come back when he’s mad. If you want him, apologize and take it from there.

  1. Is he ignoring you?

Okay, so, if the man loves you he isn’t going to ignore you. He may not be quick and eager to answer your every message, but he certainly isn’t going to leave you hanging for days- unless of course he is DONE with you and has no intention of coming back. So ask yourself this question: is he ignoring you? Or is he responding? Even a tiny response is a sign that he may still be interested. Don’t bombard him with text messages or calls though; be calm and in control, which we talk more about in the “What You Should Do” section.

  1. Does it seem like he misses you?

You can tell when someone misses you: they make an effort to talk back, they send you little cute emoticons, they just smile a little when they see you in public (although they probably try to hide it). He may also be keeping the things you’ve given him over the course of the relationship instead of throwing them away. He’s probably STILL talking about you to his friends and family members. If there’s a definite sign he is missing you, then he’s probably going to come back and try to fix the relationship.

  1. Is he seeing anyone else?

This one is the kicker. Yes, sometimes people try to date someone else quickly to help get rid of feelings for someone else (the good old ‘rebound’), but most people will stay away from the dating scene for quite some time after a breakup. If he isn’t seeing anyone or even making an effort, he is either thinking about getting together with you or trying to work on himself before he takes the next step with someone else. Only time will tell on this one!

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What You Should Do

  1. Don’t Be Too Eager

Whether he broke up with you or you broke up with him, DO NOT BE TOO EAGER. Don’t bombard him with text messages and phone calls. If he texts you, don’t rush to text him back within ten seconds. You don’t want to appear desperate and you certainly don’t want him to think he has you wrapped around his finger. I’m not saying to keep the man hanging for days without a response, but keep your cool. Being relaxed and casual and not too eager is a lot more appealing to men than a woman who appears clingy and needy.

  1. Take Time For Yourself

The best advice anyone will give you after a breakup is to take time for yourself. Do all the things you love to do and work on those not-so-great parts about yourself that you’d like to change. Make yourself happy and confident, in whatever way possible. Don’t worry about finding another man right away and don’t worry about pleasing everyone around you. A breakup is difficult, so take the time to reflect and fix anything that may be wrong in your life. And of course, go out and have fun with your best gal pals; there is no better medicine than laughter, right?

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  1. Be Charming and Seductive

When you are done taking time on yourself and you’ve done enough casual talking with this ex-boyfriend and you’re ready to kick it up a notch, remember to be in control of yourself. You may be extremely excited that the two of you are chatting it up and even being a little flirty, but don’t let that show! You need to be charming and seductive; make him WANT you. Make him realize what he has lost and make him work to get you back. As we mentioned earlier, don’t be eager or clingy; be the woman of his dreams, the woman he will do anything to be with again. Running back into his arms certainly won’t change anything and you will probably end up in a breakup again!

  1. Don’t Rush In to Anything

I know, I know; the last thing you want to do is WAIT when you’re talking to your ex-boyfriend about getting back together. But ladies, rushing back into a relationship with your ex is a big mistake. Take things slow! Make him work for it. And when you do decide to start dating again, don’t make it too serious. Have fun with each other and enjoy each others company; the rest will follow.

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So yes, breakups are hard. They are ultimately heartbreaking and you will wonder if your ex will come back. While time is the ONLY way to tell, these tips will certainly help you along the way.

Have you been in a breakup? Did your ex-boyfriend come back to you, or did you part ways and start dating other people? If he came back, why did he come back? Did the relationship last? Let us in on ALL the juicy details!





190 Comments

  1. Ashley

    January 21, 2017 at 12:17 am

    Me and my ex just broke up 3 days ago. And i started the NC rule since that day. We had been together for 14 months. We would have fights here and there that would lead to breakups and he would always look for me after the breakups even if i blocked him and ignored him he would still beg me until i gave him another chance. Well this last argument we had was because he was being kind of an asshole to me, we were discussing our relationship about how theres no trust and too much arguing and i just told him that it felt like he just wanted to breakup with me and that he didnt care..i was crying and i swear it seemed like he didnt care at all. Maybe he was tired of it all or maybe he really didnt care.. well the last thing i said to him was “im done arguing with you, you dont see what you’re doing, you just dont care” and i hanged up. A few hours later he called me i didnt pick up because i was hurt and ever since i havent heard from him again. I feel as if he was really done and that last call was just to make it seem like he tried to get me back. I just miss him alot but the way he was behaving this last time i just feel as if my brain is telling me to move on because hes not good for me..but at the same time i love him to much to let go. I want to look for him but the way things ended and seeing he has made no effort to look for me anymore makes me feel like i shouldnt, seems like hes really done. I dont know what to think or do.. Help

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 22, 2017 at 2:59 pm

      It sounds like he was tired of being the one who had to reach out and go to extreme measures to get in touch with you after a break up. You should be prepared for the possibility that he will never want to get back together. If you do want to be with him, do not do the no contact rule. If you reach out to him in a few weeks, there is an excellent chance that he will have already moved on and healed. Try reaching out to him and talking to him. If he won’t talk to you, then you will know that things are probably over for good.

  2. katy

    January 20, 2017 at 11:35 pm

    Hi. my boyfriend was ignoring for 2 months or more and i didn’t know the reasons. i thougt he was stressed out for some problems he faced and that he needed just some time to relax. but one week ago i find out that he was angry with me. he was hurt. i know i was selfesh and i hurt his feeling many times but i realised while we was distant all my faults and decided to change. i applogized and clarified that i want to change for him. but he still don’t want to talk to me, he’s just blaming me. he’s responding to my texts in 2 or 3 days. i can see that he is not sure about my feelings and my decision to change. i don’t know what to do to prove to him that i’m sincere this time.

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 22, 2017 at 2:56 pm

      You should tell him that you want to talk to him and work things through. Tell him that you want to change, but you need to know everything that you need to change and get his help. If he is unwilling to talk or does not seem to care, then you may want to just break up with him. You are obviously willing to change, and he is the one who is ignoring you. No matter what you did, ignoring someone you are dating for two months is not a nice thing to do. He needs to change as well and learn how to talk about his feelings. I would ask him to talk and prepare for the possibility that the relationship could end. He may have ignored you for two months because he does not want to just say that it is over, so a break up is a possibility.

  3. brokenheart

    January 19, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me today. for the past year i’ve had a lot of family struggles making me very uptight with a lot of anxiety causing my ex and i to fight a lot during the relationship. well about two months ago it got to a point where we both said enough is enough and quit arguing. there still to this day hasn’t been an argument – maybe tiny bickering but no arguing just happiness and relaxation when we’re together. he’s taken me on more dates, bought me surprises and we’ve both been happy. well today i received a text from him that he can’t be in a relationship because being in school (college) is too much right now and he can’t have the responsibility of both. of course i was sad. him and i have talked about having a future. i adore his family and my family adores him. when i was leaving he walked me to my car, gave me a kiss and told me he loved me. he was so kind. he told me he won’t be interested in any other girls because he doesn’t know where we stand. he hopes to want me back in time but isn’t sure if it’ll happen. he told me not to wait around but if it’s meant to be it’ll work out if he comes back. i left and we texted back and forth and then he told me it’s best for the time being to not text until he knows what to do. i guess he is right and for now i will go to the gym and do things to better myself. i’m just so unsure what to think. i don’t know but i hope there is a chance.. when at the same time i don’t want to get my hopes up and become let down 🙁 he’s such a good guy that it makes it hard to let go because i really don’t want to. it’s a hard one! how am i supposed to think with all that has happened?

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 20, 2017 at 9:51 am

      He had made his feelings clear. It would be best for you to live your life. He does not want to text you. He has said that he doesn’t want to date anyone else, but things can change. You do not want to be left waiting while he is dating other people. You do not have to do date anyone or seek a relationship, but do not simply wait and stress over him. Take this time ot live your life for yourself. Have a great week, Brokenheart!

  4. Ella

    January 18, 2017 at 7:42 pm

    Hi. My ex of 1.5 years broke up with me on Jan 7 (10 days ago) It was very sudden because we were truly happy and doing well! Our last serious fight had been over 2 months prior. His reason was that he felt like he couldn’t give me enough even if he was doing his best. That he wasn’t making me happy and that I deserved better. (Although I asked him if this was really the real reason, he said yes. But maybe I feel like I pressured him too much… and he felt guilty about hurting me when he couldn’t deliver) That I was being a martyr. 2 days later we met to talk. I didn’t beg or cry. I said sorry, I pointed out how much there was still more to the relationship (it truly does) but he said he was sure about his decision. I read early on about NC before we met to talk so I pulled myself together and showed him that I am respectful and not emotionally needy. Before we parted ways he kissed me, held my hand, hugged me, and told me he was going to miss me. It’s been 7 days into NC and I’m losing my mind. I want him back so much and I’m tempted to reach out. 🙁 I don’t even know if he still cares about me. Is it possible that you wake up one day and just lose feeling for someone? I think he’s the stubborn type. When he makes a decision, he will not step down or it will make him look weak and fickle. Please someone reply to me. All these factors to tell me to hope… am I blind. What to do

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 19, 2017 at 2:18 pm

      The decision has been made. Your relationship has ended. Do not try to establish a relationship with him again as he has decided that he would rather break up with you than work through his personal failings. Non contacting him will not make your relationship stronger, it will only cause it to become more distant. He should have kissed you if he was breaking up with you. Allow him to fade from your life. Best of luck, Ella!

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