Will He Come Back?

By on January 11, 2016






A breakup is incredibly difficult on both parties. The two of you are probably hurting, no matter who did the breaking up. One of the biggest thoughts running through your head is probably: will he come back? This is a question only time will answer, but we’re going to help your thought process a bit. We have a list of some of the main reasons a man may come back, a few questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not there is a chance of his returning, and what to do with yourself while you wait.

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Reasons He May Come Back

  1. He Misses You

The biggest reason anyone goes back to their ex is that they genuinely miss this person. They miss their smile, their personality, the fun the two of you had together; they miss everything about you. If he really misses you, he is going to come back. That’s just a fact of life. And if you leave the line of communication open, you will be hearing from him sooner or later.

  1. He Has Changed

If the two of you broke up because of something he was doing or a way he was acting, he will most likely return when these things have been rectified. For instance: if you were tired of him smoking cigarettes and he wouldn’t stop (even though promising for weeks that he would!), you may opt to leave him. At this point he will realize how much the relationship means to him and finally cut the bad habit. When it’s over, he might ask you out on a ‘smoke-free’ date; a big surprise for you, he’s actually given up the cigarettes just for you.

  1. He Regrets Breaking Up

On the other hand, if your ex-boyfriend broke up with you (for whatever reason), he may realize it was a mistake a few days or weeks down the road. This is rather common, as you know how the old saying goes: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. If he has lost you and regrets breaking up with you he will undoubtedly make an effort to return.

  1. He Misses the Sex

Okay, let’s just be honest: we all have needs. Especially men. If the two of you have broken up and he isn’t getting any action between the sheets, he may return to you for some good old fashion loving. In this situation I advise you to run for the hills; it has nothing to do with him missing you or wanting to be with you again, he simply wants to ‘get some’. Not cool!

  1. He Doesn’t Want to be Alone

Some people crave companionship and can’t stand being alone; even the thought of being alone drives them wild! If your guy is the type that loves to be in a relationship and hates to be alone, he may come back just to rekindle the companionship. It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to be with YOU, he just wants to be with SOMEONE. So be careful with this reason!

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Questions to Ask Yourself

  1. Did the relationship end on bad terms?

Were the two of you fighting excessively before the breakup occurred? Was there some kind of terrible event- perhaps cheating- that led to the breakup? If your relationship ended on bad terms, it’s probably best to leave the relationship in the past. Don’t worry about whether he will come back or not- if the relationship was that bad, it’s time to move on. You’re wasting not only your time, but your energy and emotions on something that probably won’t work in the future either.

  1. Is he mad at you about something?

Does your ex-boyfriend have something to be mad about? Did you do something to him or say something that has seriously pissed him off, so bad that the two of you broke up? Then I hate to say it, but he’s probably not coming back. In this particular situation it is YOU that will have to do the reaching out and rectifying. Why on earth would he make the effort when it is essentially your fault (not entirely of course, breakups are almost never one-sided)? He won’t come back when he’s mad. If you want him, apologize and take it from there.

  1. Is he ignoring you?

Okay, so, if the man loves you he isn’t going to ignore you. He may not be quick and eager to answer your every message, but he certainly isn’t going to leave you hanging for days- unless of course he is DONE with you and has no intention of coming back. So ask yourself this question: is he ignoring you? Or is he responding? Even a tiny response is a sign that he may still be interested. Don’t bombard him with text messages or calls though; be calm and in control, which we talk more about in the “What You Should Do” section.

  1. Does it seem like he misses you?

You can tell when someone misses you: they make an effort to talk back, they send you little cute emoticons, they just smile a little when they see you in public (although they probably try to hide it). He may also be keeping the things you’ve given him over the course of the relationship instead of throwing them away. He’s probably STILL talking about you to his friends and family members. If there’s a definite sign he is missing you, then he’s probably going to come back and try to fix the relationship.

  1. Is he seeing anyone else?

This one is the kicker. Yes, sometimes people try to date someone else quickly to help get rid of feelings for someone else (the good old ‘rebound’), but most people will stay away from the dating scene for quite some time after a breakup. If he isn’t seeing anyone or even making an effort, he is either thinking about getting together with you or trying to work on himself before he takes the next step with someone else. Only time will tell on this one!

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What You Should Do

  1. Don’t Be Too Eager

Whether he broke up with you or you broke up with him, DO NOT BE TOO EAGER. Don’t bombard him with text messages and phone calls. If he texts you, don’t rush to text him back within ten seconds. You don’t want to appear desperate and you certainly don’t want him to think he has you wrapped around his finger. I’m not saying to keep the man hanging for days without a response, but keep your cool. Being relaxed and casual and not too eager is a lot more appealing to men than a woman who appears clingy and needy.

  1. Take Time For Yourself

The best advice anyone will give you after a breakup is to take time for yourself. Do all the things you love to do and work on those not-so-great parts about yourself that you’d like to change. Make yourself happy and confident, in whatever way possible. Don’t worry about finding another man right away and don’t worry about pleasing everyone around you. A breakup is difficult, so take the time to reflect and fix anything that may be wrong in your life. And of course, go out and have fun with your best gal pals; there is no better medicine than laughter, right?

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  1. Be Charming and Seductive

When you are done taking time on yourself and you’ve done enough casual talking with this ex-boyfriend and you’re ready to kick it up a notch, remember to be in control of yourself. You may be extremely excited that the two of you are chatting it up and even being a little flirty, but don’t let that show! You need to be charming and seductive; make him WANT you. Make him realize what he has lost and make him work to get you back. As we mentioned earlier, don’t be eager or clingy; be the woman of his dreams, the woman he will do anything to be with again. Running back into his arms certainly won’t change anything and you will probably end up in a breakup again!

  1. Don’t Rush In to Anything

I know, I know; the last thing you want to do is WAIT when you’re talking to your ex-boyfriend about getting back together. But ladies, rushing back into a relationship with your ex is a big mistake. Take things slow! Make him work for it. And when you do decide to start dating again, don’t make it too serious. Have fun with each other and enjoy each others company; the rest will follow.

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So yes, breakups are hard. They are ultimately heartbreaking and you will wonder if your ex will come back. While time is the ONLY way to tell, these tips will certainly help you along the way.

Have you been in a breakup? Did your ex-boyfriend come back to you, or did you part ways and start dating other people? If he came back, why did he come back? Did the relationship last? Let us in on ALL the juicy details!





473 Comments

  1. Meghan

    September 11, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    Hi everyone,
    I’m having a really difficult time right now. My boyfriend broke up with me last week, and it was pretty much out of the blue. I was not expecting it at all. He lives in PA, and I live in NJ, however, we were doing well with the distance, although we had some bumps along the 2 and 1/2 months together. Today marks 9 days of no contact.

    Here’s a little background for you…we are both fitness competitors in the NPC (he competes in classic physique/bodybuilding, and I am a bikini competitor) We competed at the same show in April, however both of us had SO with us and didn’t really know each other at the time. I be came single just after that show, as I found out my SO had been cheating. In June, I was competing in Chicago at my first national show. He randomly sends me an IG message wishing me luck, and asking how everything was going. I had previously seen on IG that he had been liking my posts, and I had been liking his as well. I also noticed he no longer had the SO in any of his posts. We started talking and he basically kept me company all weekend through his texts and all of that. We had decided that we wanted to get together to see each other and if there could be something, so that following weekend, he came down to my house. From that weekend (June 24), we were together every single weekend, up to this past weekend. He helped me prep for my final show of the season, which was July 8, and he was with me that entire week prior since he had off from work. It’s very difficult finding someone who understands your lifestyle, the dedication, the time in the kitchen and in the gym. And honestly, I thought that I had found my match. Everyone said we were perfect for each other, and he even said he wanted to marry me. That I was perfect for him. And he was so thankful he had found me. And the feeling was mutual. We were right there with each other, every step of the way. We cooked together, we worked out together, we facetimed, texted all day long, he would call me at 5am on his work days to wake me up so I go to the gym for my morning cardio, we would snapchat each other during the day, all of it. He even wanted my input on the tile for his bathroom, he wanted to make sure I liked it, and the comforter choice on his bed, etc. I knew that things would get more difficult as I work for my Dad (and have a great job), and he has a great job in PA as well. I got a little ahead of myself, and he said that I was talking too much future talk, and to just go with the flow, so I did. I stopped talking about all of that, and just decided to be there in the moment with him when I saw him. He has anxiety, so I was trying to keep it from getting too out of control for him, since the distance makes it harder. So, I would leave little post-it notes around the house before I left on Monday mornings to drive back to NJ for work. He would also leave them for me in my bags, so I found them when I got home. I also left him cards telling him that I miss him, and little things like that. We helped each other meal prep, we did each other’s laundry, all of it. He had told me that things were getting a little overwhelming for him, and he was feeling like he was pushing away from me, but he was trying to get past it. He’s having a lot of money issues, as competing is expensive, and our lifestyle, he has his own house and he has to re-do his master bathroom since there is a crack in the tub, he needs a roommate to help keep him afloat, since he’s barely getting by with what he’s making. I’ve known about all of this stuff, so I’ve been trying to help him where I can. He works 12.5 hr days, doesn’t have a whole lot of time at night, so I was helping him meal prep when he’s at work (he works weekends so when I was there I would cook his food for him) and clean up the house/do laundry, etc. Things were going so well. We had plans to attend 2 weddings together (one this past weekend which he attended alone and one in October). The last weekend we were together, we picked out the wedding gift together, he told me that his anxiety has been so much better, he feels so much more at ease with me than he’s ever felt in any relationship he’s been in.

    This past weekend we were supposed to have a photo shoot on Saturday. Due to the weather, we had to reschedule it. I asked him what time he was leaving my house on Sunday to go home and he said 12-1pm, he had to do laundry, get his dogs, cook food, prep his meals for the week, etc. I responded to him with I didn’t realize he was leaving that early. And his response was that our schedules are different, he needs to get his stuff done, if he doesn’t its going to throw him off and he will be moody, etc. And then the next text from him said ‘something’s just not chiving here with me.’ And that was the start of him saying he needs to focus on himself and his finances/debt problems, his issues (anxiety), and he just doesn’t think we can pull through this one. He said his feelings for me faded…which I find very hard to believe. I asked if I could see him to say goodbye when I got my things, and he said he didn’t think that was a good idea, that it would be sad and emotional. And that we would see each other again. I asked him if there was someone else, he said there is no one else. I asked him what I should do, he said focus on you and your goals. We need to go our separate ways. Seeing each other would not be good, not right now, and we will see each other again. He said I was amazing, and he thought he was as invested as he needed to be for us, but he just isn’t, and that it kills him to hurt me like this.

    We’ve literally been inseparable for the last 2 1/2 months. The morning he ended things was like every other morning, he called me at 5am to wake me up, sent me my good morning text and picture from him, he asked how cardio was, etc. I’m literally left with this empty feeling, and I have no idea what I did wrong. Everyone’s been telling me that he will come back. That he’s never going to find someone like me ever again. And that he’s an idiot if he doesn’t realize it. I know I need to give him space, and that’s why I’m doing the NC for 30 days. But I’m left feeling alone, unwanted, and unworthy. I just don’t understand it. And I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I am a pretty damn good catch! I’m not one to talk about myself like this, however, I’m in amazing shape (I won my last bikini competition, actually won the whole show, took home the women’s title belt), I’m beautiful, I’m honest, genuine, caring, all of it. I wear my heart of my sleeve, and when I meet someone that I have a connection with, I’m all in, and it doesn’t happen that often that I find someone like this. I know in my heart that this isn’t over, it just doesn’t seem like it is, at least not to me. It’s literally tearing me apart, and I just can’t seem to get a handle on it. I’m doing everything I can to keep my mind off of it, but something’s just not right. I feel like he made a rash decision…

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 12, 2017 at 3:36 pm

      It is likely that he made a rash decision. He is certainly aware of your physical beauty and is likely attracted to you. He may have found that his mind wanders, and perhaps it is beneficial for you to give him some time to himself. You may find that new opportunities will become available. If you want to reach out to him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Allow him to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Meghan!

      • Meghan

        September 12, 2017 at 5:58 pm

        Thank you so much for replying!!! I really appreciate it. I figured the best thing to do, as much as it hurts, is to give him space. And hopefully, in time, we can be friends and then go from there to see if there’s still the spark. I’m not giving up hope. I think he’s just mixed up right now. Time will tell. Thanks again!

        • web admin

          web admin

          September 12, 2017 at 8:34 pm

          Thank you for sharing your positive reply. It sounds as though you have made a great decision. Take whatever action that you determine would be beneficial for you and for your relationship. Always remember to treat the people in your life with kindness and compassion. Have a great day, Medhan!

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