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    Will He Come Back?

    By on January 11, 2016

    A breakup is incredibly difficult on both parties. The two of you are probably hurting, no matter who did the breaking up. One of the biggest thoughts running through your head is probably: will he come back? This is a question only time will answer, but we’re going to help your thought process a bit. We have a list of some of the main reasons a man may come back, a few questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not there is a chance of his returning, and what to do with yourself while you wait.


    Reasons He May Come Back

    1. He Misses You

    The biggest reason anyone goes back to their ex is that they genuinely miss this person. They miss their smile, their personality, the fun the two of you had together; they miss everything about you. If he really misses you, he is going to come back. That’s just a fact of life. And if you leave the line of communication open, you will be hearing from him sooner or later.

    1. He Has Changed

    If the two of you broke up because of something he was doing or a way he was acting, he will most likely return when these things have been rectified. For instance: if you were tired of him smoking cigarettes and he wouldn’t stop (even though promising for weeks that he would!), you may opt to leave him. At this point he will realize how much the relationship means to him and finally cut the bad habit. When it’s over, he might ask you out on a ‘smoke-free’ date; a big surprise for you, he’s actually given up the cigarettes just for you.

    1. He Regrets Breaking Up

    On the other hand, if your ex-boyfriend broke up with you (for whatever reason), he may realize it was a mistake a few days or weeks down the road. This is rather common, as you know how the old saying goes: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. If he has lost you and regrets breaking up with you he will undoubtedly make an effort to return.

    1. He Misses the Sex

    Okay, let’s just be honest: we all have needs. Especially men. If the two of you have broken up and he isn’t getting any action between the sheets, he may return to you for some good old fashion loving. In this situation I advise you to run for the hills; it has nothing to do with him missing you or wanting to be with you again, he simply wants to ‘get some’. Not cool!

    1. He Doesn’t Want to be Alone

    Some people crave companionship and can’t stand being alone; even the thought of being alone drives them wild! If your guy is the type that loves to be in a relationship and hates to be alone, he may come back just to rekindle the companionship. It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to be with YOU, he just wants to be with SOMEONE. So be careful with this reason!


    Questions to Ask Yourself

    1. Did the relationship end on bad terms?

    Were the two of you fighting excessively before the breakup occurred? Was there some kind of terrible event- perhaps cheating- that led to the breakup? If your relationship ended on bad terms, it’s probably best to leave the relationship in the past. Don’t worry about whether he will come back or not- if the relationship was that bad, it’s time to move on. You’re wasting not only your time, but your energy and emotions on something that probably won’t work in the future either.

    1. Is he mad at you about something?

    Does your ex-boyfriend have something to be mad about? Did you do something to him or say something that has seriously pissed him off, so bad that the two of you broke up? Then I hate to say it, but he’s probably not coming back. In this particular situation it is YOU that will have to do the reaching out and rectifying. Why on earth would he make the effort when it is essentially your fault (not entirely of course, breakups are almost never one-sided)? He won’t come back when he’s mad. If you want him, apologize and take it from there.

    1. Is he ignoring you?

    Okay, so, if the man loves you he isn’t going to ignore you. He may not be quick and eager to answer your every message, but he certainly isn’t going to leave you hanging for days- unless of course he is DONE with you and has no intention of coming back. So ask yourself this question: is he ignoring you? Or is he responding? Even a tiny response is a sign that he may still be interested. Don’t bombard him with text messages or calls though; be calm and in control, which we talk more about in the “What You Should Do” section.

    1. Does it seem like he misses you?

    You can tell when someone misses you: they make an effort to talk back, they send you little cute emoticons, they just smile a little when they see you in public (although they probably try to hide it). He may also be keeping the things you’ve given him over the course of the relationship instead of throwing them away. He’s probably STILL talking about you to his friends and family members. If there’s a definite sign he is missing you, then he’s probably going to come back and try to fix the relationship.

    1. Is he seeing anyone else?

    This one is the kicker. Yes, sometimes people try to date someone else quickly to help get rid of feelings for someone else (the good old ‘rebound’), but most people will stay away from the dating scene for quite some time after a breakup. If he isn’t seeing anyone or even making an effort, he is either thinking about getting together with you or trying to work on himself before he takes the next step with someone else. Only time will tell on this one!


    What You Should Do

    1. Don’t Be Too Eager

    Whether he broke up with you or you broke up with him, DO NOT BE TOO EAGER. Don’t bombard him with text messages and phone calls. If he texts you, don’t rush to text him back within ten seconds. You don’t want to appear desperate and you certainly don’t want him to think he has you wrapped around his finger. I’m not saying to keep the man hanging for days without a response, but keep your cool. Being relaxed and casual and not too eager is a lot more appealing to men than a woman who appears clingy and needy.

    1. Take Time For Yourself

    The best advice anyone will give you after a breakup is to take time for yourself. Do all the things you love to do and work on those not-so-great parts about yourself that you’d like to change. Make yourself happy and confident, in whatever way possible. Don’t worry about finding another man right away and don’t worry about pleasing everyone around you. A breakup is difficult, so take the time to reflect and fix anything that may be wrong in your life. And of course, go out and have fun with your best gal pals; there is no better medicine than laughter, right?

    1. Be Charming and Seductive

    When you are done taking time on yourself and you’ve done enough casual talking with this ex-boyfriend and you’re ready to kick it up a notch, remember to be in control of yourself. You may be extremely excited that the two of you are chatting it up and even being a little flirty, but don’t let that show! You need to be charming and seductive; make him WANT you. Make him realize what he has lost and make him work to get you back. As we mentioned earlier, don’t be eager or clingy; be the woman of his dreams, the woman he will do anything to be with again. Running back into his arms certainly won’t change anything and you will probably end up in a breakup again!

    1. Don’t Rush In to Anything

    I know, I know; the last thing you want to do is WAIT when you’re talking to your ex-boyfriend about getting back together. But ladies, rushing back into a relationship with your ex is a big mistake. Take things slow! Make him work for it. And when you do decide to start dating again, don’t make it too serious. Have fun with each other and enjoy each others company; the rest will follow.


    So yes, breakups are hard. They are ultimately heartbreaking and you will wonder if your ex will come back. While time is the ONLY way to tell, these tips will certainly help you along the way.

    Have you been in a breakup? Did your ex-boyfriend come back to you, or did you part ways and start dating other people? If he came back, why did he come back? Did the relationship last? Let us in on ALL the juicy details!


    1. A

      February 12, 2018 at 2:07 pm

      My boyfriend broke up with me for no reason he said we are sometimes on two different vibes but enjoys my company and our hikes together and how he can joke with me and then proceeded to say he still wants to go hiking i tired to call him tell him how i feel he said why it making it harder for me to move on but then says i can tell him when i see him thur when we go hiking we haven’t text or talk then jm not sure if we can fix it i want too idk if he does

      • web admin

        web admin

        February 12, 2018 at 8:29 pm

        He is interested in spending time with you as a friend. He may be unwilling or unable to nourish a relationship with you at this time. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Spending time with him in person may strengthen this relationship. Have a great day, A!

    2. Priyanka

      January 11, 2018 at 11:04 am


      I met this lovely guy on Tinder for the first time and we had an instant connection. Infact, we had an instant connection from the day we first started talking.

      Our first date was amazing and he was SO into me and I was also very much into him. He messaged me 24/7 and I couldn’t believe my luck. I was so scared of how happy he made me feel.
      He took me back to his place on our second date after bowling (didn’t even do anything with me) we just had pizza and watched Christmas films.
      Also took me to winter wonderland and pre booked activities for us.
      Spent the evening with me on Boxing Day also.

      Meanwhile, I felt as though there was a distance… I was scared. I just felt as though the messages weren’t as intense and replies were just a tad bit slower. I decided not to reply to him one night because I wanted to see if he’d reach out (he didn’t) so I messaged him the next day and he replied straight away. I told him I felt there was a distance. He told me there wasn’t and he said he felt I was being distant as I had replied to him.

      Anyway, everything was ok after that. I still felt in my gut something wasn’t ok.

      After the new year I decided to ask him when are we meeting again. And his response was just so different. He just didn’t seem bothered at all. Not the way he used to :(. He was just SO into me I just don’t understand.

      I got really upset and I kind of sent him a really angry message and he never replied to me. I cannot believe he didn’t reply because he has NEVER ignored me before. The night before we were even having an intimate conversation and he was completely into it. I was angry because I told him how scared I was of things changing and he always told me things would never change.

      I realized I should not have blown the whole situation out of proportion and I messaged him again to apologise but he never got in contact with me. It has been 1 week since this happened.

      I kept blaming myself… he was really good to me and I messed everything up. I went into a depressive state because I felt regret. I couldn’t believe I had finally met a man who didn’t want to just sleep with me. He held my hand when we walked… he kissed me on the forehead.. he made me feel so good. I didn’t appreciate it and I was so scared of losing him that I pushed him away.

      He is a teacher and he had the patience of a saint. All my friends and family have told me it is not normal that he didn’t reply and he should have at least replied to me if he cared about me. But I cannot get over the regret. I feel like I have lost a good man 😔

      • Priyanka

        January 11, 2018 at 11:08 am

        May I also add, in the angry message I told him he was just like all the other guys and that I was walking away 😔

        I didn’t mean it, I was just so upset and I was so scared.

        I did quickly realise my mistake and try to rectify it. It is not like him to cut me off completely. I even tried to call him but nothing! Everyone keeps telling me if he cared about me then he would have been in contact.

        But I don’t believe he doesn’t care because I was the one who was with him.

        • web admin

          web admin

          January 11, 2018 at 9:20 pm

          Allow your experiences to influence your future actions. Allow the end of this relationship to remind you to think about how your concerns and worries influence your relationships. Allow your feelings for this person to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Have a great day, Priyanka!

        • Maria

          January 18, 2018 at 2:36 pm


          I’m going to be completely honest with you. He clearly did like you, and you must have had a connection. However, from the sounds of things you must have been hurt in the past and made things up in your mind to see things about him being ‘distant’.
          This has then drove you to question him… And even if it’s briefly most men take three steps back as soon as you appear vunerable after such little time together. For him to spend Boxing Day with you, he surely wanted to see how things went. The angry message you sent was a defiante no no…
          Remember, men do not respond to words, they do not see them, they see drama and when they see that they run. Especially at the beginning of a relationship. Although im sure your that you are a great woman, men are also as cautious as us.
          Don’t worry, this is a lesson for the long run. Take this time to work on yourself, there’s a great book “Why men love bitches” this explains many concepts very well.

          • web admin

            web admin

            January 19, 2018 at 12:35 pm

            Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Please feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Maria!

          • Priyanka

            January 24, 2018 at 9:15 am

            Thank you Maria… I have come to realize this. At the same time, I think it’s horrible to just completely ignore someone when they have tried to reach out to you. If you really like someone then you’d at least tell them that you think it won’t work out because of the way they behaved with you. You would have an adult conversation. Especially when you had such a strong connection. He knew I’d be hurting but didn’t care.

            However, I have realised my mistake and definitely have learnt from it. I will never allow myself to be vulnerable again in future.
            Thank you for your insight 🙂 x

            • web admin

              web admin

              January 24, 2018 at 8:07 pm

              Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Please feel free to share more of your insights and experiences in the future. Have a great day, Priyanka!

      • web admin

        web admin

        January 11, 2018 at 9:20 pm

        Allow your experiences to influence your future actions. Allow the end of this relationship to remind you to think about how your concerns and worries influence your relationships. Allow your feelings for this person to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Have a great day, Priyanka!

    3. Des

      January 1, 2018 at 3:48 am

      had met my boyfriend online the first time I did it. The reason why we broke up was because I was waiting for him to delete his profile and he was waiting for me to delete mine. He just assumed that I was on there still being active. Instead of talking to me about it… He just got really mad and got very distant. Then when we talked… I just ended up ending things. I contacted him over a month ago and we started talking again and we got back together and got more intense in a good way. Then I offered to cook for him yesterday when he came over but he was persistent with me not doing that for him. I also knew yesterday that he was going to the movies with his brother and nephew. He didn’t tell me he didn’t want to come over until very last minute and I was upset with him for that. I express that to him and he ended up calling me and we got into a heated argument over the phone. At first he didn’t see a problem with that. And he said I went off the deep end about that. But I was upset from that and not knowing how he was feeling since I was fine however heels for him and had no idea how he was feeling. Especially since he knew how I felt. Well, apparently he was feeling the same way but didn’t tell me about it. Anyway, he had said that he was done and that this was not good for the stirrup a relationship. But it was all complete miscommunication and misunderstanding. Then we were silent on the phone for a while because I said if we hung up that would actually be the end of it and I asked him if you were sure if you wanted to do this and I told him that he knew how I felt about him. We were silent on a phone for over an hour especially since I was trying to hold back from him hear me cry. Then he said he had to get off the phone because you have to work early in the morning he apologized again for how he acted. And I asked about being definite about the break up and he said he just needed to get off the phone to go to sleep. So I don’t know what to think of it from here.

      • web admin

        web admin

        January 2, 2018 at 5:42 pm

        It sounds as though your relationship is at a point where the two of you need to make a decision. Take this time to determine what you want for the future of this relationship. Decide what actions you believe are acceptable for your relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Des!

    4. Shagun

      December 19, 2017 at 7:57 pm

      Hi i met a guy in a matrimony he was from australia we fell in love and decided to get married. After 13 days he came in india to meet me we kissed made love . I gifted him a love mug of our pictures.after he reached in sydney i asked him ge said i have lied about my height he is 5’10 and i am 5’1 so he said to prove it . I send him it was taken in my house he said i m writing any height and sending him and said i dont gave any expectation.i msged him he never texted back. I am shattered now i love him so much i cannot forget him will 30 days no contact rule work? Please help someone .

      • web admin

        web admin

        December 20, 2017 at 9:16 pm

        It sounds as though you said that you have lied. If this is the case, then your dishonesty is likely that cause of his feelings being diminished. Allow this to be lesson for you in your future relationships. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Remember, it is always best to share your thoughts and feelings a direct and honest manner. Have a great day, Shagun!

    5. sydney

      December 15, 2017 at 10:20 pm

      Is it true if someone dumps you, its because they didn’t want it to flourish because of how they feel? Could it also truly be because of work, stress, poor, family, and/or other issues? I’m reading the comments and what I’ve come to conclude, no matter the circumstances if they really care they will make it work.

      • web admin

        web admin

        December 16, 2017 at 7:33 pm

        Relationships are influenced by a variety of influences. People’s emotions direct their actions regarding a relationship. Outside influences, such as work, stress, and family, may certainly have an influence on a person’s willingness to nourish a relationship. If a relationship ends, it is because the relationship is no longer a priority to that person. Have a great day, Sydney!

    6. rashmi mishra

      December 6, 2017 at 4:57 am

      Hi, i was with a guy from last one year. We shared a happy past and every moment with him was great for me and for him as well. he was asking me for future and I had my own problems, although i said yes to him, his family had the issue and he is pressurised to get married. He asked me for spliting up, i was against it, but he went away. He asked me not to block him and message him whenever i need him. I really hold a lot of feelings for hi and won’t contact him ever. Do you think we have something left, will he come back?

      • web admin

        web admin

        December 6, 2017 at 9:09 pm

        Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to reach out to him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he is unwilling or unable to establish a relationship with you, the allow him to fade from your thoughts. If he wants to nourish a relationship with you, then continue to speak with him. Have a great day, Rashmi!

    7. hep

      November 15, 2017 at 2:29 am

      I had dated a man for almost 9 years. I just found out that he was cheated on me last 2 years.He was dating me and another women same time. He acted weird, wanted to argue and asking me to break up with him almost every month. I did not understand why he was doing that. Finally I got hold of his phone, found texts, communicating with other women in Facebook I called his women. she was nice enough to tell me. she told me she was in love and they have been dating last two years. He came by my house and told me sorry, I did not go by that

      I felt like I was a trashed, mistreated

      • web admin

        web admin

        November 15, 2017 at 6:05 pm

        Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights. Please feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Put this person out of your mind and develop your current social relationships. Have a great day, Hep!

    8. Anna

      November 7, 2017 at 9:05 am

      A few weeks ago, my boyfriend of two years ended things out of nowhere. There were no warning signs, he wasn’t pulling away at all, he was super affectionate almost down to the minute that it happened. He said that being together for two years and shopping for houses made him come to the decision. He knew how much I loved him, but he just couldn’t get “there.” He said that he never had been able to get there with anyone ever and he couldn’t put me through it anymore. He’s been sad and has told friends that he misses me and misses being home with me, but he won’t come back.

      He has also left some big items at our house. He has a key and knows my schedule so that we won’t run into each other, but he still hasn’t come back for them. He had been texting me like everything was fine until I finally asked for space to process everything. He said he understood, but to always know he’d be there.

      I just want this to be fixed. We never argued or fought, we just talked about what was bothering us. And that was only three times. I’ve never been this wrecked in my life and truly feel like he’s the love of my life.

      • web admin

        web admin

        November 7, 2017 at 7:30 pm

        It sounds as though he has shared his feelings with you. He is unable to commit to this relationship with you. Allow thoughts of him to fade into the past. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings, if he reaches out to you. It would be best for you to move forward wit your life without him. Have a great day, Anna!

    9. Karen

      November 3, 2017 at 10:37 pm

      Hi everyone,
      So my boyfriend of 1 year decided to leave me out of nowhere. He said he didn’t feel the same anymore and that he didn’t see a future anymore and he didn’t know why. But before this day I was staying over every weekend and we would always laugh and have fun. Our relationship was always a happy one with really no fights or arguments. Disagreements maybe but mainly when I would tell him that he wouldn’t balance his time with me and his games/friends very well. This past month is when he started acting different and we weren’t intimate anymore. He said that he always had to initiate all intimacy or just simple hand holding affection but because he was always acting distant so I felt unwanted. I would ask him multiple times if everything was okay, and he would say everything was fine. Then I asked again last Saturday and that’s when he left me. Things ended on good terms but for some reason I have this feeling he’s confused. He said he had doubts about our relationship. My parents are currently divorcing and it affected me and made me scared of being abandoned like that. He always comforted me and told me everything would be okay. Just 2 weeks ago I was crying to him and told him that I hope him and I would last a very long time together. He assured me and said “we will last for a very long time”. But 2 weeks later he leaves me?? I just don’t see someone who claims they feel nothing for me anymore would pretend and say that when he didn’t mean it. I just want him back so bad, he’s the love of my life and I feel so depressed and broken after this break up. It’s the worst one of my life. I seriously thought he was the one and I still though. His whole family and mine would say how great we were together and they even pictured us married. His mom had straight up told me she wanted a daughter from us. My friends and his friends approved of us too. We were a happy couple who were very in love. Just in August we had gone to big bear to celebrate our 1 year anniversary and he hinted he wanted to get a house together. That was the most amazing loving weekend of my entire life. I really felt the love during all those times up until this past month of October where everything fell out. Will I ever get him back?

      • web admin

        web admin

        November 4, 2017 at 7:25 pm

        He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He is no longer able or willing to nourish this relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Strengthen your current relationships and learn lessons from your previous ones. Treat everyone in your life with kindness and compassion. Have a great day, Karen!

    10. jannah

      October 31, 2017 at 12:40 am

      me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years, after 2 years of being together he told me he dont really loves me from the begining he dont see a future between us. but after afew days i get to know that he was actually cheating on my back with his cousin n they are dating now. honestly i still loves him but im not sure if he is ever comming back to me or not, and what am i suppose to do?

      • web admin

        web admin

        October 31, 2017 at 7:58 pm

        He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. He has chosen to disrespect you. There are numerous reasons why you should not continue to nourish this relationship. There is no reason to speak with him anymore. Take this time to look inward and determine what you want for your future. Have a great day, Jannah!

    11. Lucy

      October 16, 2017 at 9:15 am

      We were together for 5 years. Long story short, we got together while he was living in my town. After 5 months he breaks up with me for a week and we get back together and we tell eachother we love one another. He moved to his hometown and I moved down shortly afterwards and we buy a home. After about a year and a half together he breaks up with me again and asks if I can go home for a few weeks while he sorts his mind out (we had been arguing a lot). I come back and everything is fine. Last year in April we had been fighting a lot about just stupid things and he breaks up with me again, a week goes by and I move out to stay with a friend and after three weeks he asks me to come home. Some things happened and we had to live with his mother while our house was being fixed and a few months later he broke up with me again, I was stressed because of work and a new puppy and being in his mothers house and I moved back home for three months. During the three months apart we did not talk at all, I actually began seeing someone new. Then he randomly calls me saying he made a mistake and he misses me, so I break up with my current boyfriend, drop everything and move back to a different state to be with him. A month goes by and we get engaged, I had to have a series of surgeries and his schedule changed and I started school, with all of this stress came up, and we clearly do not know how to communicate properly. We both said some things We didn’t mean, and now a short 7 months after our engagement, he breaks up with me again. We were fighting about not spending enough time together and about how I was stressed and that I feel like he values friends over us, which I can see now that he doesn’t, he tells me over the phone that he’s not going to marry someone he is going to argue with all the time and we just can’t seem to get it to work out and that we are not compatible (things that he has also said before). He also said that I can stay in our home as long as I need to and that he will go stay with his dad. I did the usual begging him to change his mind but it did not work. He came by the next day and got some things and left and we didn’t say a word to eachother but he saw I was still wearing my ring. I have texted him once since then about how I know I need to grow up and work on my communication and be more open to changes. No reply. I haven’t talked to his family and I have left everyone alone, but I’m confused as to why he has no problem with me staying in our home, wearing my ring still, still on the same phone plan, and we are still engaged on social media and he still has a bunch of pictures of me, yet he’s acting like I don’t exist. He did talk to my dad on the phone and my dad said that he said he was just done arguing and that he didn’t want to be with me if we were going to argue and that we were done and my dad suggested couceling if we got back together and he said yes I agree. I don’t know what to do, I’ve began reading men are from mars women are from Venus and it has really opened my eyes to where I went wrong, and about how he needs his space too and I need to express my needs in a more logical way instead of complaining I would do anything to make this work and just last week he was talking about us buying a new house and going to counseling then two days later this. I don’t know if I should give him time or just walk away. I also cannot get all of my things because he has the keys to the garage where a lot of my stuff is too. Please help.

      • web admin

        web admin

        October 17, 2017 at 2:28 pm

        Take this time to determine what you want for your relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Gather your things from his place and bring them to somewhere safe. It sounds as though you are no longer interested in developing this relationship, so nourish your close friendships and family relationships. Have a great day, Lucy!

    12. Henrietta

      October 12, 2017 at 12:30 am

      I just called off a relationship with a guy I haven’t seen in person for three months. Things were good in the beginning. He was pursuing me, talking to me, making plans, etc. However, we never talked about becoming a couple after a few months. We started dating towards the end of June and when July came he bought a bunch of fireworks that he wanted to set off with me. Well that plan got cancelled because we were busy. After that he would make plans to hang out with his friends which is fine, but it seemed like it was constantly.

      Now we are moving onto Pioneer day (this is in Utah). Once again, we make plans to set off the fireworks. I wait for him to contact me to meet up, but he never did. I messaged him and he responded but didn’t mention anything about our date. Time drags on and I’m parked on the side of the road watching the fireworks by myself. Still nothing. I go home mad. The next few days go by and he didn’t send me any messages. I contact him trying to figure out what was going on. He said that he occasionally deals with severe depression and when he gets that way he shuts down. I forgave him and life carries on.

      Things seemed like they were back to normal until he got busy with work and started working over time. I was caring and understanding towatds his situation so I waited patiently. Months go by and the communication from every day went to every three days to every two weeks. Now I’m getting frustrated.

      Last week he contacted me to say that he quit his job because he got tired of the hours. But after that he never talked to me and I haven’t seen his face in three months. He has no job so he has no excuse to be busy.

      A few days ago, I sent him a message saying that I’m going to date other people since he makes no time to see me and there hasn’t been any communication. Hours go by and he responds saying that he’s been dealing with family matters for weeks, he apologizes for not communicating, and that I deserve better. I wasn’t mean to him when I sent him the message. But before I stopped communicating with him I told him that the door of opportunity was still open but I can’t guarantee that I would still be available once he figures out what he wants to do. And I gave him my condolences to him and his family.

      I haven’t heard from him since then so I don’t know if I should just move on or should I wait to see if he comes back. Or should I give it time before sending him a message to see how he and his family is doing to let him know that I still care. Right now I am dating other people, but at the same time I’m not really sure about moving in yet. I just need some good advice because I don’t want to take advice from those who are going to get me riled up about the situation.

      Also, I should mention that I did nothing to come off as annoying or clingy. I waited for him to talk to me first, and rarely I sent him a few messages to inciate the conversation. I did all that I could for this guy, and I don’t know if I might have blown something or if I made the right decision. I’m not really sure if sending him a message at some point is a good idea. Like I said, I need advice. The problem here was time and communication.

      • web admin

        web admin

        October 12, 2017 at 8:44 pm

        You have made the right decision. He has been unwilling to treat you with the respect that you require. Communication is a requirement for every relationship, and you are lucky to be without him at this time. Take this time to look inward and determine what you want for your future. There is no reason for you to attempt to establish a relationship with him again. Have a great day, Henrietta!

    13. Eva

      October 11, 2017 at 12:58 pm

      Im going through something similar. I have been friends with a guy since high school never really saw him other than a friend and then one night we were watching a movie and he kissed me and told me he had feelings for me and that he always had had feelings for me ever since high school but was too scared to tell me I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I cared about him in a friend aspect eventually I started to care deeper for him and then he got deployed for almost a year so we never made anything official the whole time he was gone he would talk about how he couldn’t wait to get home to see me and spend time with me hed help me with my homework as I’m a college student while he was gone he would text me everyday and Skype me on the weekends at one point I told him that I thought that we should just be friends because I didn’t know how things are going to be with him coming back home and that we should take things slow he blew my phone up telling me that he couldn’t just be my friend and that he was in love with me and he saw a future with us together and that I was the only girl that he saw himself going a hundred percent with I brought this point up a couple times and he constantly reassured me that everything was going to be okay and that his feelings weren’t going to change and all he wanted to do was come home and travel with me and take vacations and spend time together and go out on dates and he would tell me he couldn’t wait to have brunch with me when he got home he told his friends and family about me and I kind of got aggravated and wanted to figure things out between me and him first before he told them he got mad at me and told me that he was not going to keep me a secret. So I trusted him and I felt like he knew what he wanted because he had to reassured me and everything now he’s home from his deployment and things were great when he first got home we would go out to dinner or lunch or even breakfast he would spend the night with eachother and all of a sudden (2 months ago) it’s like everything completely changed it went from him wanting to see me everyday to him telling me that he is having trouble reintegrating and that he’s stressed out about life and that he feels lost and he doesn’t want to hurt me. he told me that I deserve somebody that will mesh well with me and that im a good person. he also told me that I wasn’t just some girl to him and he said that he would be back normal soon. he still kept in contact with me everyday then it slowly went to every few days I would hear from him. now I haven’t heard from him in about 2 weeks other than him liking my post on social media. I don’t know what to do because I honestly thought we were going to work out and he told me that he was sorry things didn’t turn out like we thought that they would. I figured I would give him space and see if he comes back but I don’t know if I’m being stupid and waiting for a man that never loved me in the first place. Idk Maybe it was the chase and he just wanted sex…I don’t know if I should wait a couple more months or just let him go.

      • web admin

        web admin

        October 12, 2017 at 8:41 pm

        It is likely that he had a strong emotional connection with you. He likely was honest with his feelings about you. The changes in his feelings may have been influenced by other things in his life. He probably was completely honest with you. He may not want to become too close with you, as he feels like he may hurt you. Allow thoughts of him to fade, as he is not able to develop a relationship with you at this time. Have a great day, Eva!

    14. Hannah

      October 9, 2017 at 2:27 am

      Hi I am going through it a little bit, I was with someone who was a good person but later on in the months he changed, he stopped texting,he stopped caring,he stopped making plans, he stop doing everything he did to get me. A few months he he went out of State with another woman who he was dating. He used her because he wasn’t so good with the law and he’s illegal. I forgave him and once again he changed. I was the man in the relationship. He never defend me. I was proud of us. 8 months in and I get a text saying he didn’t want to continue. The break up was before I asked a question. But let me remind you I stood by him through the good and bad and I ask one question it’s over with for me. He was a good person but a terrible boyfriend. I more angry than sad because I gave him 8 months of my life that I can’t get back. He acts as if I’m this bad person and that he hate me so much. I can see it in his face that he doesn’t care and is happy that he left me. We work together which make things worse and I’m just trying to move on.

      • web admin

        web admin

        October 10, 2017 at 7:29 pm

        Your relationship has ended. Do not attempt to continue this relationship with this person. Put the memories of him out of your mind. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. There are new opportunities available for you. This will help you end a negligent relationship. Have a great day, Hannah!

    15. Chandana

      September 30, 2017 at 1:11 pm

      I am going through one of the worst situations right now in my relationship.And I need your advice.Can you please help me with it?

      • web admin

        web admin

        September 30, 2017 at 2:24 pm

        Take this time to determine what you want for your relationship. If you determine that this relationship is worth working on, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. If he is respectful and understanding of your needs, then give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. If the conversation does not produce results, then think about what other opportunities are available to you. Have a great day, Chandana!

    16. Meghan

      September 11, 2017 at 7:07 pm

      Hi everyone,
      I’m having a really difficult time right now. My boyfriend broke up with me last week, and it was pretty much out of the blue. I was not expecting it at all. He lives in PA, and I live in NJ, however, we were doing well with the distance, although we had some bumps along the 2 and 1/2 months together. Today marks 9 days of no contact.

      Here’s a little background for you…we are both fitness competitors in the NPC (he competes in classic physique/bodybuilding, and I am a bikini competitor) We competed at the same show in April, however both of us had SO with us and didn’t really know each other at the time. I be came single just after that show, as I found out my SO had been cheating. In June, I was competing in Chicago at my first national show. He randomly sends me an IG message wishing me luck, and asking how everything was going. I had previously seen on IG that he had been liking my posts, and I had been liking his as well. I also noticed he no longer had the SO in any of his posts. We started talking and he basically kept me company all weekend through his texts and all of that. We had decided that we wanted to get together to see each other and if there could be something, so that following weekend, he came down to my house. From that weekend (June 24), we were together every single weekend, up to this past weekend. He helped me prep for my final show of the season, which was July 8, and he was with me that entire week prior since he had off from work. It’s very difficult finding someone who understands your lifestyle, the dedication, the time in the kitchen and in the gym. And honestly, I thought that I had found my match. Everyone said we were perfect for each other, and he even said he wanted to marry me. That I was perfect for him. And he was so thankful he had found me. And the feeling was mutual. We were right there with each other, every step of the way. We cooked together, we worked out together, we facetimed, texted all day long, he would call me at 5am on his work days to wake me up so I go to the gym for my morning cardio, we would snapchat each other during the day, all of it. He even wanted my input on the tile for his bathroom, he wanted to make sure I liked it, and the comforter choice on his bed, etc. I knew that things would get more difficult as I work for my Dad (and have a great job), and he has a great job in PA as well. I got a little ahead of myself, and he said that I was talking too much future talk, and to just go with the flow, so I did. I stopped talking about all of that, and just decided to be there in the moment with him when I saw him. He has anxiety, so I was trying to keep it from getting too out of control for him, since the distance makes it harder. So, I would leave little post-it notes around the house before I left on Monday mornings to drive back to NJ for work. He would also leave them for me in my bags, so I found them when I got home. I also left him cards telling him that I miss him, and little things like that. We helped each other meal prep, we did each other’s laundry, all of it. He had told me that things were getting a little overwhelming for him, and he was feeling like he was pushing away from me, but he was trying to get past it. He’s having a lot of money issues, as competing is expensive, and our lifestyle, he has his own house and he has to re-do his master bathroom since there is a crack in the tub, he needs a roommate to help keep him afloat, since he’s barely getting by with what he’s making. I’ve known about all of this stuff, so I’ve been trying to help him where I can. He works 12.5 hr days, doesn’t have a whole lot of time at night, so I was helping him meal prep when he’s at work (he works weekends so when I was there I would cook his food for him) and clean up the house/do laundry, etc. Things were going so well. We had plans to attend 2 weddings together (one this past weekend which he attended alone and one in October). The last weekend we were together, we picked out the wedding gift together, he told me that his anxiety has been so much better, he feels so much more at ease with me than he’s ever felt in any relationship he’s been in.

      This past weekend we were supposed to have a photo shoot on Saturday. Due to the weather, we had to reschedule it. I asked him what time he was leaving my house on Sunday to go home and he said 12-1pm, he had to do laundry, get his dogs, cook food, prep his meals for the week, etc. I responded to him with I didn’t realize he was leaving that early. And his response was that our schedules are different, he needs to get his stuff done, if he doesn’t its going to throw him off and he will be moody, etc. And then the next text from him said ‘something’s just not chiving here with me.’ And that was the start of him saying he needs to focus on himself and his finances/debt problems, his issues (anxiety), and he just doesn’t think we can pull through this one. He said his feelings for me faded…which I find very hard to believe. I asked if I could see him to say goodbye when I got my things, and he said he didn’t think that was a good idea, that it would be sad and emotional. And that we would see each other again. I asked him if there was someone else, he said there is no one else. I asked him what I should do, he said focus on you and your goals. We need to go our separate ways. Seeing each other would not be good, not right now, and we will see each other again. He said I was amazing, and he thought he was as invested as he needed to be for us, but he just isn’t, and that it kills him to hurt me like this.

      We’ve literally been inseparable for the last 2 1/2 months. The morning he ended things was like every other morning, he called me at 5am to wake me up, sent me my good morning text and picture from him, he asked how cardio was, etc. I’m literally left with this empty feeling, and I have no idea what I did wrong. Everyone’s been telling me that he will come back. That he’s never going to find someone like me ever again. And that he’s an idiot if he doesn’t realize it. I know I need to give him space, and that’s why I’m doing the NC for 30 days. But I’m left feeling alone, unwanted, and unworthy. I just don’t understand it. And I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I am a pretty damn good catch! I’m not one to talk about myself like this, however, I’m in amazing shape (I won my last bikini competition, actually won the whole show, took home the women’s title belt), I’m beautiful, I’m honest, genuine, caring, all of it. I wear my heart of my sleeve, and when I meet someone that I have a connection with, I’m all in, and it doesn’t happen that often that I find someone like this. I know in my heart that this isn’t over, it just doesn’t seem like it is, at least not to me. It’s literally tearing me apart, and I just can’t seem to get a handle on it. I’m doing everything I can to keep my mind off of it, but something’s just not right. I feel like he made a rash decision…

      • web admin

        web admin

        September 12, 2017 at 3:36 pm

        It is likely that he made a rash decision. He is certainly aware of your physical beauty and is likely attracted to you. He may have found that his mind wanders, and perhaps it is beneficial for you to give him some time to himself. You may find that new opportunities will become available. If you want to reach out to him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Allow him to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Meghan!

        • Meghan

          September 12, 2017 at 5:58 pm

          Thank you so much for replying!!! I really appreciate it. I figured the best thing to do, as much as it hurts, is to give him space. And hopefully, in time, we can be friends and then go from there to see if there’s still the spark. I’m not giving up hope. I think he’s just mixed up right now. Time will tell. Thanks again!

          • web admin

            web admin

            September 12, 2017 at 8:34 pm

            Thank you for sharing your positive reply. It sounds as though you have made a great decision. Take whatever action that you determine would be beneficial for you and for your relationship. Always remember to treat the people in your life with kindness and compassion. Have a great day, Medhan!

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