Will He Come Back?
A breakup is incredibly difficult on both parties. The two of you are probably hurting, no matter who did the breaking up. One of the biggest thoughts running through your head is probably: will he come back? This is a question only time will answer, but we’re going to help your thought process a bit. We have a list of some of the main reasons a man may come back, a few questions to ask yourself to decide whether or not there is a chance of his returning, and what to do with yourself while you wait.
Reasons He May Come Back
- He Misses You
The biggest reason anyone goes back to their ex is that they genuinely miss this person. They miss their smile, their personality, the fun the two of you had together; they miss everything about you. If he really misses you, he is going to come back. That’s just a fact of life. And if you leave the line of communication open, you will be hearing from him sooner or later.
- He Has Changed
If the two of you broke up because of something he was doing or a way he was acting, he will most likely return when these things have been rectified. For instance: if you were tired of him smoking cigarettes and he wouldn’t stop (even though promising for weeks that he would!), you may opt to leave him. At this point he will realize how much the relationship means to him and finally cut the bad habit. When it’s over, he might ask you out on a ‘smoke-free’ date; a big surprise for you, he’s actually given up the cigarettes just for you.
- He Regrets Breaking Up
On the other hand, if your ex-boyfriend broke up with you (for whatever reason), he may realize it was a mistake a few days or weeks down the road. This is rather common, as you know how the old saying goes: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. If he has lost you and regrets breaking up with you he will undoubtedly make an effort to return.
- He Misses the Sex
Okay, let’s just be honest: we all have needs. Especially men. If the two of you have broken up and he isn’t getting any action between the sheets, he may return to you for some good old fashion loving. In this situation I advise you to run for the hills; it has nothing to do with him missing you or wanting to be with you again, he simply wants to ‘get some’. Not cool!
- He Doesn’t Want to be Alone
Some people crave companionship and can’t stand being alone; even the thought of being alone drives them wild! If your guy is the type that loves to be in a relationship and hates to be alone, he may come back just to rekindle the companionship. It doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to be with YOU, he just wants to be with SOMEONE. So be careful with this reason!
Questions to Ask Yourself
- Did the relationship end on bad terms?
Were the two of you fighting excessively before the breakup occurred? Was there some kind of terrible event- perhaps cheating- that led to the breakup? If your relationship ended on bad terms, it’s probably best to leave the relationship in the past. Don’t worry about whether he will come back or not- if the relationship was that bad, it’s time to move on. You’re wasting not only your time, but your energy and emotions on something that probably won’t work in the future either.
- Is he mad at you about something?
Does your ex-boyfriend have something to be mad about? Did you do something to him or say something that has seriously pissed him off, so bad that the two of you broke up? Then I hate to say it, but he’s probably not coming back. In this particular situation it is YOU that will have to do the reaching out and rectifying. Why on earth would he make the effort when it is essentially your fault (not entirely of course, breakups are almost never one-sided)? He won’t come back when he’s mad. If you want him, apologize and take it from there.
- Is he ignoring you?
Okay, so, if the man loves you he isn’t going to ignore you. He may not be quick and eager to answer your every message, but he certainly isn’t going to leave you hanging for days- unless of course he is DONE with you and has no intention of coming back. So ask yourself this question: is he ignoring you? Or is he responding? Even a tiny response is a sign that he may still be interested. Don’t bombard him with text messages or calls though; be calm and in control, which we talk more about in the “What You Should Do” section.
- Does it seem like he misses you?
You can tell when someone misses you: they make an effort to talk back, they send you little cute emoticons, they just smile a little when they see you in public (although they probably try to hide it). He may also be keeping the things you’ve given him over the course of the relationship instead of throwing them away. He’s probably STILL talking about you to his friends and family members. If there’s a definite sign he is missing you, then he’s probably going to come back and try to fix the relationship.
- Is he seeing anyone else?
This one is the kicker. Yes, sometimes people try to date someone else quickly to help get rid of feelings for someone else (the good old ‘rebound’), but most people will stay away from the dating scene for quite some time after a breakup. If he isn’t seeing anyone or even making an effort, he is either thinking about getting together with you or trying to work on himself before he takes the next step with someone else. Only time will tell on this one!
What You Should Do
- Don’t Be Too Eager
Whether he broke up with you or you broke up with him, DO NOT BE TOO EAGER. Don’t bombard him with text messages and phone calls. If he texts you, don’t rush to text him back within ten seconds. You don’t want to appear desperate and you certainly don’t want him to think he has you wrapped around his finger. I’m not saying to keep the man hanging for days without a response, but keep your cool. Being relaxed and casual and not too eager is a lot more appealing to men than a woman who appears clingy and needy.
- Take Time For Yourself
The best advice anyone will give you after a breakup is to take time for yourself. Do all the things you love to do and work on those not-so-great parts about yourself that you’d like to change. Make yourself happy and confident, in whatever way possible. Don’t worry about finding another man right away and don’t worry about pleasing everyone around you. A breakup is difficult, so take the time to reflect and fix anything that may be wrong in your life. And of course, go out and have fun with your best gal pals; there is no better medicine than laughter, right?
- Be Charming and Seductive
When you are done taking time on yourself and you’ve done enough casual talking with this ex-boyfriend and you’re ready to kick it up a notch, remember to be in control of yourself. You may be extremely excited that the two of you are chatting it up and even being a little flirty, but don’t let that show! You need to be charming and seductive; make him WANT you. Make him realize what he has lost and make him work to get you back. As we mentioned earlier, don’t be eager or clingy; be the woman of his dreams, the woman he will do anything to be with again. Running back into his arms certainly won’t change anything and you will probably end up in a breakup again!
- Don’t Rush In to Anything
I know, I know; the last thing you want to do is WAIT when you’re talking to your ex-boyfriend about getting back together. But ladies, rushing back into a relationship with your ex is a big mistake. Take things slow! Make him work for it. And when you do decide to start dating again, don’t make it too serious. Have fun with each other and enjoy each others company; the rest will follow.
So yes, breakups are hard. They are ultimately heartbreaking and you will wonder if your ex will come back. While time is the ONLY way to tell, these tips will certainly help you along the way.
Have you been in a breakup? Did your ex-boyfriend come back to you, or did you part ways and start dating other people? If he came back, why did he come back? Did the relationship last? Let us in on ALL the juicy details!