I Miss Him But He Doesn’t Miss Me

By on September 9, 2015

It’s undoubtedly one of the worst feelings in the world: you and this super special guy have been getting along for quite some time, going on dates, texting all day, and having the time of your lives. And then suddenly things take a turn for the worse and you find yourself arguing a lot more, those special dates and romantic moments seeming to disappear into the night. And as the story would go, the two of you break up, and you’re left devastated and heartbroken.

But wait.

You can’t help but notice that nothing has really changed on his end. He goes about his day to day business, laughing and smiling with his friends, classmates, and coworkers, without a care in the world. He doesn’t seem to be broken in the slightest, and worst of all- he doesn’t miss you. While you’re sitting in your bed with a few teardrops running down your cheek, waiting with anticipation for him to send you an ‘I miss you’ or ‘I’m sorry’ text, he’s out having the time of his life not missing you a bit.

What gives?

First of all, let me tell you this much: you’re NOT the first lady this has happened too, and you WON’T be the last. So don’t ever feel like there is something wrong with you or you’re somehow lesser than anyone else. This is just something that happens, as terribly awful as it is.

Do you really miss HIM?
Love. It’s SO confusing, right? Every aspect is just an endless spiral of confusion with no way out. And of course, it’s the same for when you breakup with someone too. That being said, do you really miss HIM? Or do you simply miss having someone around that loves you and cares about you?
Think about it- and I mean really THINK. Was it HIM that did anything special for you, or was it just the moments and feelings the two of you shared? Nine times out of ten, we just miss the moments. We miss the good morning text messages and the silly dates at the park where you fed ducks and sped around on scooters like you were in junior high. And most of all, we miss the deep hugs and fireworks every time we kissed.

Why doesn’t he miss ME?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in this position before; and it’s AWFUL. “How can he not miss me? How can he act like everything’s normal when it’s NOT? Did he never care about me in the first place? What is WRONG with me!” And ladies, before you send your brain into an emotional train wreck of thoughts and conclusions, take a peek ahead at some of the reasons he might not miss you.

He’s just not showing it. I think by now we all know that the majority of men aren’t really all that ‘emotional’. They don’t display affection very well and they definitely aren’t going to let us- or anyone else for that matter- see them cry. So why on earth would he let you know that his heart is truly aching? He may just be keeping his emotions in-tact and not letting his real feelings shine through. In this particular case, you’ll probably end up hearing from him sooner than later. Nobody can leave their feelings bottled up without doing a single thing about it.

He’s being strong. Not to say you aren’t strong, but maybe there’s another thought process going on inside of his head. Maybe he really DOES miss you, but he knows there’s no future with you. Yes, that’s some very cold hard truth, but it needed to be said. Sometimes, even though we may be deeply in love with someone, we know that the relationship will eventually fail. The two of you may have a deep connection, but be on totally different pages about very important things. If you weren’t able to work out these differences before the breakup, then you probably aren’t going to do it now.


He’s keeping himself busy. He’s probably decided to pick up that extra shift from work just so he doesn’t have to go home and be tempted to pick up the phone and call you. Maybe he’s decided to pick up a class at the community college or has taken up a new hobby to keep his mind off of things. So, you saw him out with his buddies three days in a row, huh? That must be because he totally doesn’t care the two of you broke up, right? Absolutely wrong! He’s probably just trying to have some FUN and take his mind off of the hurt he’s feeling on the inside. You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine!

He met someone else. Ouch, yes. This is probably the one you didn’t want to read. But hey, if this is the case, you’re going to find out soon enough anyways, right? Yeah, it will probably add even more ache to your heart, but sometimes these things happen. He may have met someone else and is totally infatuated with them, leaving you to be a part of his past and nothing else.

He never really cared. Ladies, we all know that there are men out there who are just flat out jerks. They play too many games! They say one thing: “Oh you’re the best girlfriend ever, I hope we last forever” with ten thousand kissy face and heart emoticons, but the next day they completely change their tune: “Oh, yeah hey sup” five hours after reading our text to them. Sometimes men just play games and never really develop actual feelings to begin with, even when they say they do. In this case, of course they aren’t going to miss you. (On the other hand, there’s a few guys out there who will realize they really had feelings for you AFTER the breakup- in which case they’ll let you know!)

What should you do if you miss him?
There is definitely a RIGHT way and a WRONG way to handle missing a man. First things first..

Hold the memories close to you. Just because the two of you broke up doesn’t mean you have to completely remove him from your memory. While it may seem like a good idea to pretend he doesn’t exist, it will actually do you a big favor in the long run to hold the memories close. Look back on those moments with a soft heart, thinking “Those WERE some wonderful times, but there is better times ahead!” Because yes, those were great times in your life and they shouldn’t be forgotten- just stored away, and certainly not chased.

Let him know how you feel- ONCE. You’re hurt because the two of you broke up. You miss him terribly and want him back. It’s A-OKAY to let him know, as long as you do it ONE time- so make sure you have all of your thoughts in order before you send him the long text or voicemail. Don’t be the girl that’s bothering him every other hour of the day with ‘I miss you’ texts or ‘Please come back to me’ voicemails; these are just annoying, desperate, and will push him away even further. Letting him know how you feel and how important he is to you ONE time will put the thought in his head and let him know what’s going on without pressuring him. If he feels the same way, he will let you know.

Don’t stalk him. I know it’s tempting to keep checking his Facebook or Instagram to see what he’s doing and who he’s with, but you really need to stop. That’s going to make the situation a million times worse. Out of sight out of mind, remember? Okay, maybe he will still be lurking in your mind quite often, but it’ll only make the thought of him more prominent when you’re checking up on him every five seconds. Seriously, get a life lady! 🙂

Have some fun. Now is the PERFECT time to call your gal pals and head down to the salon. Switch up your hairstyle- do something bold or keep it simple- and get a fresh coat of paint on those fingernails and toes. You’ll feel a million times better about yourself, and getting out with your best friends is always an easy fix for a broken heart. Hey, maybe there will even be time for a nice restaurant or bars after the pedicures, too? Just ask the bartender to make you something to fix a broken heart- I’m sure he’s got a super awesome secret recipe that will make you feel a little bit better!

So, quick recap: it’s totally okay to miss your ex-boyfriend, but just make sure you do it the right way. Let him know how you feel ONE time; if he wants to be with you, he will let you know. Anything else will just make you look desperate. Keep a smile on your face, ladies!



  1. Thanh

    March 3, 2017 at 6:02 am

    My married is almost 4 years and our relationship is 6 years, during we were together, we broke up so many time, and all is his decision. He told me that he can’t be in relationship any more he have his own issue to deal with also this wasn’t healthy relationship. I know I had done something bad in the past such as my behavoir, attitude, I don’t show my emotion much …. but since we marriage I did try my best, I did change but he said it was to late and I don’t understand why, if it was to late why did he keep coming back to me in the last 2 years, I guess their is love still and I did asked him for chances. My heart is broken but nothing else I can do, I called him and try to talk it out many time but it seem just pushing him away until lately when I tell him to give a call again and I pull it all out about I actually feel angry with something that he did, then he said I wasn’t honest with him and myself he said that he don’t want to talk with me again on the phone and don’t contact him unless there is important. And if I want to talk he happy to organise to talk in the person. Before I contacted him to gave me a call, one time I came back to his house to pick up something, we had a chat and then he said something like if I angry and don’t want to talk to him again he will understand but he want me to know that I always im his family and he still care for me then he start crying and that very rarely to see him like that, I told him at that time that I will never angry with him and always love him, I will keep his ring and his place will be safe with me if one day he change his mind he can come and talk to me, he just quiet. From that time that I remember and what he treat me right now is cold and keep distant from me, I am so confusing and hurt badly. He will moving away back to his hometown soon and now I’m here alone in this city and I’m not come from this country, I feel terrible but really try to keep my head up, I can’t really think clearly, I really don’t know what to do now, he seem angry with me after the last talked, I feel like I made everything worse and maybe this time he will left me for real. Please help me I reach out for support!

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 3, 2017 at 3:11 pm

      It sounds like he is the problem, not you. You have put everything into the marriage, and you have always been faithful. Each break up was initiated by him. He chose to marry you, so it seems strange that he would break up so often. Did he not think his decision through? Is he not committed enough? Is he just one of those people who always thinks the grass is greener on the other side? Whatever the case, it seems like he has been trying to foist the blame onto you instead of accepting that he is playing at least half–and most likely more–of the role in creating a problem. Worse still, he says he cares for you, but does not recognize the fact that he is leaving you alone in a country that is not your own to fend for yourself after deciding one day that he didn’t feel like he wanted to be married anymore. Honestly, it might be a good thing if he leaves you for real. He is playing your emotions and making you feel guilty of the relationship failing when it is at least half his fault. If you can figure out a way to divorce, move on (or move back to your home country), it would probably make your life much happier and easier in the long run. There is someone out there who deserves your love, and it does not seem to be him right now.

      • Thanh

        March 7, 2017 at 3:42 am

        I really don’t know what is in his thought, when I bring up the mystery relations with those women he talk with while we broke up and back he just said I take responsible for what I did ( I don’t know how he takes responsible) so you should clean your sh*t and he called me I’m diplorable women and lunatic, all I care is about specific things and women… I feel like he mind cheating and I have been betray by him, so different to the man who cry for me from the started. He moving soon so I feel terrible of being here in big city alone. Also I try to think maybe it happened for a reason, maybe it show who he really is now. He recently just block me from social media and the follower, following is jump up. Do you really think man will thinking about their wife after a long time?

        • web admin

          web admin

          March 7, 2017 at 3:08 pm

          His numerous actions have shown that he is not someone that you want to rekindle a relationship with. Allow him to fade from your life. Take this time to become closer to your family and friends. Focus on yourself and live in the present moment. Another person will enter into your life, and he will be kind and treat you well. Have a great day, Thanh!

          • Thanh

            March 9, 2017 at 2:33 pm

            He moving away soon and contact me for a coffee! I guess that he might want to talk in general with our stuff and say goodbye. What should do and say if I will come to see him?

  2. heartbust

    February 17, 2017 at 2:32 pm

    We met 5 months ago. There was rarely a day we didnt communicate. He lives an hour away, and we both have kids and busy lives. We had been intimate only 3 times but the communication was endless. Sun up to sun down texting and snap-chatting. From the beginning he was very open about a relationship not being a priority. We both agreed it would just be fun companionship. At the 3 month mark, he had said he missed me, and didn’t want me with anyone else and he would do the same. This felt like exclusivity and I fell in love with him. The communication never stopped. We had planned to see eachother in month 5, bu i was blind sided. he told me he had too much going on personally, and once things calmed down maybe we could try to build something. He just wanted to be friends, but wasnt rejecting me. I confessed i was in love with him and he took it well. He said he didnt want to have feelings right now. I agreed to friends. A few days later he sent me very seductive photos. I confronted him on his motives. He blamed his hormones but stuck to just wanting a friendship. The hot and cold made me so irritable i told him i could not be friends. I told him id go as slow as necessary but if he cant then our relationship was over. I deleted him from social media. Eight days later he tried readding me on instagram. I denied the request. I need time to heal. I have not heard from him in 2 weeks. Im not sure i will. I miss waking up everyday to some form of a good morning from him. After 5 months of non stop interacting it just stopped. Im having a very hard time adjusting. It feels like my best friend just vanished. I dont know how he could just never talk to me, or apologize for the mixed signals. my heart is broken. Im sitting here questioning my intelligence. Any insight is welcome.

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 18, 2017 at 12:46 pm

      If you have chosen to block him, then you have chosen to end your relationship. He showed you that he was interested in being in a relationship with you at some level and you told him that you didn’t want to be with him. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Perhaps it would be best for you to allow your life and thoughts to settle before you attempt to establish a new relationship. Best of luck, Heart!

  3. Tessa

    February 16, 2017 at 1:06 pm

    My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me a little of a week ago. He said he didn’t see a future with me and his feelings never grew for me. I felt completely blindsided. I begged him to stay he said no. We work together and days late we had a staff meeting. After I texted saying how it’s reality because you didn’t want to be around me or look at me. So I know it’s really the truth. He responded that were over and I need to accept it and move on. He said he liked me the same after 7 days of knowing me to now. I said it’s because I was his second girlfriend ever and didn’t know how to handle it. Plus he is graduating this semester. He just said to move on and he regrets dating me because he has lost my friendship. I am so hurt. I want him back but how could he say these terrible things to me.

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 16, 2017 at 5:25 pm

      He has shared his feelings with you. He may not have meant to harm you. Take this as a blessing. You are now free of someone who does not want to be in a relationship with you. Look inward at this time to determine what you want for your future without him. Enjoy life and best of luck, Tessa!

  4. Katy

    February 15, 2017 at 11:40 pm

    I was recently reconnected with someone I knew from years ago we started a relationship mainly Over the phone – face timing eachother for hours and hours every day. As it turns out he told me he was separated from his wife – turns out he wasn’t – said his niceces lived with him and his wife – it was in fact his two daughters ! Then left his wife for a whole week – we spent most of the week together in person then went back to her a week later. He has blocked me from everything then sent me a text saying his daughters would have nothing to do with him if he left and he had too much to loose. I’m beyond devastated I miss the daily contact and him ! I lost my best friend a few weeks ago which he also knew about and still managed to do this to me. He told me it was meant to be me and him … then did this ?? I’m finding the no contact so hard …. each day passes he hasn’t got in touch and it’s been a week. I know his wife has forced him to end all contact with me as I told her about our relationship (she messaged me on Facebook and when I found out he was there I sent her pictures of us together ) even after that we were good … please help me !

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 16, 2017 at 10:20 am

      Leave him. There are countless reasons why this relationship needs to end. Put him out of your life and be thankful that you didn’t help to ruin someone’s relationship. Put thoughts of him our of your mind. If you find yourself thinking about him, then turn your thoughts to the present moment. Have a great day, Katy!

      • Katy

        February 16, 2017 at 1:02 pm

        Thank you for your advice … I can stop thinking about him along with tears. Wish I wasn’t so heartbroken x

        • web admin

          web admin

          February 16, 2017 at 5:27 pm

          You are welcome! Keep your head up and enjoy life at this time. Whenever you feel down, be sure to bring your mind to the moment that you are in. Try to reach out to your friends and family. You may find that your previous relationships will become stronger than before. Best of luck, Katy!

  5. Nya

    February 6, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    Hey, I was a really bad girlfriend to my ldr ex. He broke up with me a month before because of my stubbornness and attitude, so i promised him that I would change to become a better person. I realized my faults and tried really hard to control my emotions and not pick fights at him. However, I didn’t do enough and we still fought, but not as much. But, he told me last week that he didn’t love me anymore and that he is breaking up with me for good. He mentioned that all his friends hated me and that now he feels liberated and not burdened by me anymore. He also told me that we can’t talk anymore and he has already moved on and I know he has because his friends told me when i asked. I know that I shouldn’t feel sad of our breakup because I caused all of it… he was amazingly perfect and the only thing I did was hurt him. Also found out that people think I’m a bitch even though I tried to be nice to everyone I met at school, so makes sense that his friends never liked me. Because he was my rock and is in another uni, I feel so lost and empty right now.

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 8, 2017 at 10:50 am

      Count yourself lucky. This is an important moment for you and for your life. You have realized that the actions that you have taken have hurt the person that you care about. You have also realized that there are many people who do not like the way that you act. You are blessed to be given the opportunity to have this realization. Many people live their whole life being rude and unkind, and they never understand why people treat them poorly. Look inward and become a good person. Realize why you treat people poorly and learn to be a good person. Have a great day, Nya!

  6. Jennifer

    February 3, 2017 at 5:52 pm

    Hi! So my boyfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago and gave me the “It’s not you, it’s me” line and the “I love you as a friend and want us to only be friends”. Later that night he texted me saying “I don’t know, I have mixed feelings right now” and “I think I still have some of those feelings for you but I just don’t know if being in love is my priority right now.” So the next day he invited me to lunch and I had told him bluntly there that I just couldn’t continue being his friend. 2 weeks passed by and I texted him asking him that I learned to accept his decision and then he texted me back few minutes later saying “I’m happy to be hearing from you . . . I’ve just been having so many personal problems in my mind that I just can’t be in a relationship at the moment. I’m not looking for that …but im really happy that you can be part of my life.” i didn’t text him after he sent me that but then after that happened,he texted me the next day to see how I was doing and I texted him for a little bit but took a long time to reply his messages but after he told me he was with his friends at some event I just decided not to reply to him after that just because I knew he’d be busy with his friends. Ever since that day; he hasn’t texted me back. At all. It’s been a week already and I miss him so much. I’m wondering if I made the mistake of not texting him back.

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 5, 2017 at 9:29 am

      I don’t think that you made a mistake. It sounds like he wanted to end things, but didn’t realize how hard it would be to walk away from a four-year relationship. Now that he has had more time to get over it, it seems like he is even more certain that he wants to be single. Unfortunately, this does not bode well for the immediate future. He may decide to come back in a few months or years, but it sounds like he has made up his mind completely in the immediate future. There is no harm in texting him, but don’t expect him to suddenly be reinterested in a relationship again.

  7. Kenyatta

    December 11, 2016 at 7:03 pm

    I absolutely needed to read this article it was JUST what the doctor ordered!! Well put & I absolutely love this, thank you so muchhh 💖💖💖

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 12, 2016 at 9:38 am

      I am glad to hear that we could help! If you liked this article, we have a number of similar topics on Her Interest that you could check out. Thanks for commenting, Kenyatta!

  8. Brit

    November 27, 2016 at 11:33 am

    Hello, I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We almost had two months together and though that’s a really short time for a couple to be together, I still can’t help missing him. We have not contact each other since the break up and I texted him on Thanksgiving to wish him a good day. He replied and asked if we could be friends and I said of course. To be honest, I think he’s interested in someone else now and I can’t help but feel pained. I haven’t really been trying to move on because I keep thinking he’ll come right back. In reality, I don’t think so. He seems to be perfectly fine without me and I think that’s painful. I have some memories with him and everything reminds me of him. I just wonder if it’s time to let go of him.

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 28, 2016 at 12:27 pm

      It seems like you commented two times on this article. I have to answer and approve each comment individually, so it may take a little while for it to appear sometimes. If you do not see your comment right away, do not worry because you will. Read through my first response and let me knoew if you have any other questions. Thanks for commenting!

    • kendall

      February 15, 2017 at 11:11 am

      Its important to understand who is leading the relationship. well the reason being the leader may feel hurt,confused or unwanted of which the other partner has no intent of. A friend of mine recently broke up with the girlfriend. Simply because? OK, they were good together no problems. After a busy week of school flying- he decides to have fun with his buddies that Friday. Well, the girlfriend discovers and gets jealous. Been furious, comes to his place and says the ultimate thing you don’t want to tell a man “…I think we should break up”. Asks why and he gets the reason. He then proceeds claiming “I think you are right we should break up…”
      Having heard of it and by my analysis she wanted the guy to like her more. Simply say what you really mean. A funny generation we are- no one is expressing the reason behind their anger only to snap to a conclusion.A common tell it is.
      you don’t fire a nuclear missile to an ally out of the blue,only to change your mind when the “enemy” has already seen it coming.
      if you end a relationship, where am from-you should be the one to re-establish it if you love them. If they don’t feel the same,at least you tried. Nothing hard.
      in your case ladies , that means he respects himself.I respect and value quality people.

      Cut down your pride society- no stupid games. Cheers.

      • web admin

        web admin

        February 15, 2017 at 6:42 pm

        Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights. It is certain that your word will help someone in the future. Please feel free to support our community in the future. Have a great day, Kendall!

  9. Lida

    November 27, 2016 at 11:32 am

    Hello, I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We almost had two months together and though that’s a really short time for a couple to be together, I still can’t help missing him. We have not contact each other since the break up and I texted him on Thanksgiving to wish him a good day. He replied and asked if we could be friends and I said of course. To be honest, I think he’s interested in someone else now and I can’t help but feel pained. I haven’t really been trying to move on because I keep thinking he’ll come right back. In reality, I don’t think so. He seems to be perfectly fine without me and I think that’s painful. I have some memories with him and everything reminds me of him. I just wonder if it’s time to let go of him.

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 28, 2016 at 12:26 pm

      It is normal to miss someone after you break up, even if it was only a short relationship. Even though it is fine to start moving on, it is also a good idea to wait a bit so that you can heal completely before you try to start a new relationship. Take time to focus on yourself and healing will gradually start. Good luck, Lida!

      • Lida

        December 6, 2016 at 12:15 pm

        Thank you so much and I just noticed that I commented twice. I am really sorry about that. Him and me broke up a week before Thanksgiving but it has almost been a month since then and I can happily say that I have moved on from what happened. I started hanging out around new people and I joined a club to occupy myself from time to time. I’ve also done some college applications and I already received a letter. I still miss him and I hold feelings for him, however I do not feel any pain towards him. Thank you so much for you help <3

        • web admin

          web admin

          December 6, 2016 at 2:10 pm

          No worries about posting twice. We always appreciate enthusiasm! It is great to hear that you have moved on and are in a great spot. Enjoy life and please let us know how things go for you in the future. Have a great week, Lida!

  10. neverdatingagain

    September 27, 2016 at 4:28 pm

    We broke up yesterday after an 11 month relationship. I got a text from him today saying Sorry it ended badly. That he hopes the best for me and then let me know that I had stuff at his house and if I wanted to get it.
    Ugh, how can he be so heartless? We literally just broke up do you have to get your affairs in order right now? Can’t you just put that stuff in a box and wait a couple of days? Are you so eager to get on with your new life? It’s really heartbreaking

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 28, 2016 at 4:17 pm

      It would be wise of you to get your items as soon as possible. Bring a friend or two so he is not alone with you. He may have ideas of getting back with you, and you do not need that additional stress while you get your items. Remain positive and put him out of your life as soon as possible. Take this time to look inward and determine what you want your future to hold without him.

  11. Nikki

    September 13, 2016 at 7:49 pm

    I was seeing him for one year and loved him so much. He would allow almost 5 days to go by and not contact me. I told him that this hurt my feelings and I didn’t expect to hear from him daily because he is a busy doctor but at least every other day a hello was fine. He did the no contact for 5 days thing while I was out of town and so I called him and left a sweet ring me back message. I never heard back so the next day I let him know that he had yet again hurt me after all of the conversations about this and I told him that I was a good woman, a great person and that I deserved to be at least acknowledged. After giving it some thought, I decided to contact him again so that we could talk. Not only have I not heard back from him, it’s been over a month. He is prone to disappearing whenever he feels any conflict but never for this long. I apologized by written and spoken word and have not heard from him. I have to accept that he will never contact me again but I miss him so badly that I literally feel pain. I have been in searing pain since 8/11. Please help me because I need to stop missing and loving him. Please.

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 14, 2016 at 3:34 pm

      It seems as though he is no longer interested in developing a relationship with you. This may be because of numerous reasons. If he has not spoken to you in a month, then it is likely that your relationship has reached its end. Take this time to look inward and determine what you would like for your future to hold. Remain positive and look to new people in your life for relationships. Thank you for you comment, Nikki.

  12. Harv

    September 1, 2016 at 4:04 pm

    Hi. I broke up with my boyfriend after a year. I was under alot of stress and took it out on him. He pulled back and I told him to leave. I did not want him to leave and I realized how much I love him.I am seeking therapy and trying to change my ways for the better since he said we were an unhealthy relationship since I was moody. We truly loved each other but now he is being very distant. I feel like I have lost him for good this time.

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 2, 2016 at 10:12 am

      While this relationship may have come to a close, that is no reason for you to give up. Continue to learn from the mistakes that were made during your relationship and apply those lessons to your future relationships. We all make mistakes, and certainly he made some mistakes as well. Take this time to look inward and determine what kind of you future that you want for yourself and determine what kind of person you want to share that future with.

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