I Miss Him But He Doesn’t Miss Me

By on September 9, 2015






It’s undoubtedly one of the worst feelings in the world: you and this super special guy have been getting along for quite some time, going on dates, texting all day, and having the time of your lives. And then suddenly things take a turn for the worse and you find yourself arguing a lot more, those special dates and romantic moments seeming to disappear into the night. And as the story would go, the two of you break up, and you’re left devastated and heartbroken.

But wait.

You can’t help but notice that nothing has really changed on his end. He goes about his day to day business, laughing and smiling with his friends, classmates, and coworkers, without a care in the world. He doesn’t seem to be broken in the slightest, and worst of all- he doesn’t miss you. While you’re sitting in your bed with a few teardrops running down your cheek, waiting with anticipation for him to send you an ‘I miss you’ or ‘I’m sorry’ text, he’s out having the time of his life not missing you a bit.

What gives?

First of all, let me tell you this much: you’re NOT the first lady this has happened too, and you WON’T be the last. So don’t ever feel like there is something wrong with you or you’re somehow lesser than anyone else. This is just something that happens, as terribly awful as it is.

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Do you really miss HIM?
Love. It’s SO confusing, right? Every aspect is just an endless spiral of confusion with no way out. And of course, it’s the same for when you breakup with someone too. That being said, do you really miss HIM? Or do you simply miss having someone around that loves you and cares about you?
Think about it- and I mean really THINK. Was it HIM that did anything special for you, or was it just the moments and feelings the two of you shared? Nine times out of ten, we just miss the moments. We miss the good morning text messages and the silly dates at the park where you fed ducks and sped around on scooters like you were in junior high. And most of all, we miss the deep hugs and fireworks every time we kissed.

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Why doesn’t he miss ME?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been in this position before; and it’s AWFUL. “How can he not miss me? How can he act like everything’s normal when it’s NOT? Did he never care about me in the first place? What is WRONG with me!” And ladies, before you send your brain into an emotional train wreck of thoughts and conclusions, take a peek ahead at some of the reasons he might not miss you.

He’s just not showing it. I think by now we all know that the majority of men aren’t really all that ‘emotional’. They don’t display affection very well and they definitely aren’t going to let us- or anyone else for that matter- see them cry. So why on earth would he let you know that his heart is truly aching? He may just be keeping his emotions in-tact and not letting his real feelings shine through. In this particular case, you’ll probably end up hearing from him sooner than later. Nobody can leave their feelings bottled up without doing a single thing about it.

He’s being strong. Not to say you aren’t strong, but maybe there’s another thought process going on inside of his head. Maybe he really DOES miss you, but he knows there’s no future with you. Yes, that’s some very cold hard truth, but it needed to be said. Sometimes, even though we may be deeply in love with someone, we know that the relationship will eventually fail. The two of you may have a deep connection, but be on totally different pages about very important things. If you weren’t able to work out these differences before the breakup, then you probably aren’t going to do it now.

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He’s keeping himself busy. He’s probably decided to pick up that extra shift from work just so he doesn’t have to go home and be tempted to pick up the phone and call you. Maybe he’s decided to pick up a class at the community college or has taken up a new hobby to keep his mind off of things. So, you saw him out with his buddies three days in a row, huh? That must be because he totally doesn’t care the two of you broke up, right? Absolutely wrong! He’s probably just trying to have some FUN and take his mind off of the hurt he’s feeling on the inside. You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine!

He met someone else. Ouch, yes. This is probably the one you didn’t want to read. But hey, if this is the case, you’re going to find out soon enough anyways, right? Yeah, it will probably add even more ache to your heart, but sometimes these things happen. He may have met someone else and is totally infatuated with them, leaving you to be a part of his past and nothing else.

He never really cared. Ladies, we all know that there are men out there who are just flat out jerks. They play too many games! They say one thing: “Oh you’re the best girlfriend ever, I hope we last forever” with ten thousand kissy face and heart emoticons, but the next day they completely change their tune: “Oh, yeah hey sup” five hours after reading our text to them. Sometimes men just play games and never really develop actual feelings to begin with, even when they say they do. In this case, of course they aren’t going to miss you. (On the other hand, there’s a few guys out there who will realize they really had feelings for you AFTER the breakup- in which case they’ll let you know!)

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What should you do if you miss him?
There is definitely a RIGHT way and a WRONG way to handle missing a man. First things first..

Hold the memories close to you. Just because the two of you broke up doesn’t mean you have to completely remove him from your memory. While it may seem like a good idea to pretend he doesn’t exist, it will actually do you a big favor in the long run to hold the memories close. Look back on those moments with a soft heart, thinking “Those WERE some wonderful times, but there is better times ahead!” Because yes, those were great times in your life and they shouldn’t be forgotten- just stored away, and certainly not chased.

Let him know how you feel- ONCE. You’re hurt because the two of you broke up. You miss him terribly and want him back. It’s A-OKAY to let him know, as long as you do it ONE time- so make sure you have all of your thoughts in order before you send him the long text or voicemail. Don’t be the girl that’s bothering him every other hour of the day with ‘I miss you’ texts or ‘Please come back to me’ voicemails; these are just annoying, desperate, and will push him away even further. Letting him know how you feel and how important he is to you ONE time will put the thought in his head and let him know what’s going on without pressuring him. If he feels the same way, he will let you know.

Don’t stalk him. I know it’s tempting to keep checking his Facebook or Instagram to see what he’s doing and who he’s with, but you really need to stop. That’s going to make the situation a million times worse. Out of sight out of mind, remember? Okay, maybe he will still be lurking in your mind quite often, but it’ll only make the thought of him more prominent when you’re checking up on him every five seconds. Seriously, get a life lady! 🙂

Have some fun. Now is the PERFECT time to call your gal pals and head down to the salon. Switch up your hairstyle- do something bold or keep it simple- and get a fresh coat of paint on those fingernails and toes. You’ll feel a million times better about yourself, and getting out with your best friends is always an easy fix for a broken heart. Hey, maybe there will even be time for a nice restaurant or bars after the pedicures, too? Just ask the bartender to make you something to fix a broken heart- I’m sure he’s got a super awesome secret recipe that will make you feel a little bit better!

So, quick recap: it’s totally okay to miss your ex-boyfriend, but just make sure you do it the right way. Let him know how you feel ONE time; if he wants to be with you, he will let you know. Anything else will just make you look desperate. Keep a smile on your face, ladies!

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106 Comments

  1. Amy

    August 24, 2017 at 12:14 pm

    Please help me. I am really confused. I met my boyfriend 10 months ago, and we fell hard and fast for each other. I was blissfully happy, I thought we were blissfully happy for 3 months, until I left for Christmas. I had family problems, and went home alone. When I got back, he was acting strangely. Then he told me he wanted a two week break to do his taxes and work. I honored that, and we got back together.Then 3 months later, he broke up with me. I let him go,and did no contact for 30 days. He came back, saying his mom didn’t want him to be with me because I am not their religion, but that he loved me and wanted to be with me. I was crushed and felt differently about the relationship after that, but tried to make it work. To secretly “revenge” him, I had a threesome. He does not know about this. I felt awful, and tried to make the relationship work, but kept drinking a lot, became a mess of a person. I became needy with him. He broke up with me again 3 weeks ago.
    In the relationship, he would run hot and cold with me, and he always put himself first.
    However, when things were right, we were both really happy together. I know, and I own my issues in the relationship. I know I need time to work on myself.
    What I am asking is do you think there is hope that he can change, want me again, and make this work if I clean myself up? I have been so depressed, I just miss being with him every day and want us to be happy somehow.
    Please give me your best advice. Thanks.

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 24, 2017 at 7:38 pm

      You have made decisions that will likely cause permanent problems in your already stressful relationship. It is likely that your relationship is not viable for the long term. Allow thoughts of him to fade. Allow the actions and events of this relationship to influence you in the future. Learn these lessons and attempt not to make similar choices in the future. Have a great day, Amy!

  2. Natalie

    August 17, 2017 at 5:23 am

    I just ended things with a guy. I’m sad, and mad that I miss him. But feel slightly better after reading this. In the beginning he seemed absolutely infatuated with me. Our connection was so deep. Over time, he was just always at my place, eating my food, sleeping in late, would use my things and bathroom products….and became cold and distant towards me. I would give him space, trying to be understanding that he may be stressed because he’s leaving for his last year of teachers college.

    We met on an online dating site. I did log on, decided to delete my account and I noticed he was online…still looking. It broke my heart. So, I decides to call and confront him about everything and how he is treating me. He admitted to it all. He said that he does like me a lot and loves spending time with me, a lot. But, felt himself growing distant because things felt as though they were moving into a serious relationship. He said he doesn’t feel comfortable with doing long distance relationships while in school. I did say I have no problem doing the long distance but that I would not push him or try to convince him to do otherwise. I instead ended it, and told him I deserve better treatment. Not to feel desired and wanted one day, and then feel that cold, distant behaviour from him another day.

    He said he still wanted to stay in touch. And that he is thankful for meeting me and that he is at a loss of words at how, kind and patient I am with how he handled things. He shared that he is shocked I’m not hurting, as most girls cry and beg him to stay. I thought that was rather egotistical of him. I said “Not hurt. Disappointed. I didn’t think you were the type that would do this kind of thing, as you were so adamant in ensuring we would have open communication always and be honest with one another. And you were the one mentioning relationship stuff. I never once pressured a relationship. It’s as though you scared yourself off” He just went quiet.

    Needless to say, we hung up gracefully. But, I cried. I do miss the moments. The connection, the affection and intamacy…while it feels like he doesn’t even care.

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 17, 2017 at 6:58 pm

      This relationship has ended. It is highly beneficial that you have learned many lessons with this relationship. Allow this dream to influence your future relationships and decisions that you make in those relationships. Allow your thoughts of him to fade at this time. Look inward and determine what you want for your future. New opportunities will arrive. Have a great day, Natalie!

    • Gina

      September 7, 2017 at 2:16 pm

      The keywords was when he told you he’s done this to other women and how all of them . He’s a jerk. End of story.

      • web admin

        web admin

        September 8, 2017 at 8:38 pm

        Thank you for sharing your insights. You are correct. It would be best to end any abusive relationships. Have a great day, Gina!

  3. Jay jay

    July 31, 2017 at 9:30 am

    Hi. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years last night. I am devastated. We’ve been through a lot. We’ve fought together. I’ve always been faithful to him. I still feel that I love him. We’ve been doing long distance and things were ok. Until he mentioned that if I found out about his bucket list I’d definitely dump him. I did get upset and told him that it really arouse a lot of suspicion in me but he calmly settled it and we were happy again. Last month he completely ignored me. He didn’t text back or call me.I have anxiety and I’ve been battling depression for sometime. He’s been helping me go through it. Last night he just said to me move on because I already did.
    I felt something stab me inside. I was so hurt because I thought he cared about me. I know he’s seeing someone else now but all I’ve done for him just went like that. It’s day one since he dumped me and I’m crying so much. I’m trying so hard to hold myself together. I keep seeing him in everything. I feel like its just yesterday when we both fell for each other. I’m deeply hurt. And especially with my depression problem it’s worse. At times I get the urge to harm myself that way I wouldn’t feel a thing. I still love him. I’m still in love with him. He said that he couldn’t do it anymore cause the distance was hard for him and that he still loves me and won’t forget me but that still wounded me. I’m completely lost. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to start. I hate my life. I hate myself.

    • web admin

      web admin

      July 31, 2017 at 2:05 pm

      It sounds as though you made the right decision. You ended a relationship that did not bring you happiness. You are making positive decisions in your life. There are people who will enter your life who will bring negative emotions. Allow this relationship to be a lesson for you future relationships. Do not bring harm to yourself, as that will not bring you benefit at this time or in the future. Take this time to become closer to your family and friends. Have a great day, Jay!

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