Dating Italian Men
Known as the Casanovas of the world, Italian men have quite the reputation to live up to, but do they indeed live up to it? In some aspects, yes. In others, you may find them a bit difficult to deal with if you are from a different culture. Read on to find out what it is like Dating Italian Men!
You May Not Be the Only One
Remember Casanova? Well, he reportedly said: “Cultivating whatever gave pleasure to my senses was always the chief business of my life; I never found any occupation more important. Feeling that I was born for the sex opposite of mine, I have always loved it and done all that I could to make myself loved by it.”
If you imagine a man like that, do you think he is drawn to one woman and one alone? Whilst an Italian man often gives you his all whilst he is with you, his attraction may only last till the next woman comes along. After all – it’s his love for women that makes him see you as the poetry of the world.
Even in serious relationships some men will consider it perfectly normal to have mistresses; it’s a part of life as opposed to a crime and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He may even expect you to get a lover (and go mad with jealousy if you do).
On the flip side of the coin, many Italian men are as faithful as faithful can be.
They Give Their All
Again, like Casanova, they tend to give their all when with a woman. There is no holding back on the romance and love declarations. So if it only lasts for a night. Just beware that what an Italian man would say after one date can sound like something an American man would say after fifty (when drunk and having watched a romantic comedy he actually liked in his slightly altered state). These romantic declarations should be seen as something he means in the moment. It certainly does not mean forever.
Until you are certain you have the same values, future plans and intentions for the relationship, see everything an Italian man says as meaning something in the moment, not for the future. He adores you. Right now.
As in Life, so in Bed
Chances are your Italian guy will not only give you his all in conversations, but also in bed. They are seldom as inhibited as Americans.
They Love Being Fussed Over
There’s truth to the stories about Italian men living at home till they get married and then moving two blocks away from their mother. They like being cared for and to feel extremely special in the eyes of the woman they love. In Italy the sign of a woman’s love has been synonymous with a woman cooking, taking care of the household and shouting out her pride for the man (or men if she end up having sons too) in her life. Whilst that can sound like sexist propaganda, it’s simply culture and tradition. Today women in Italy are as independent as most places and whilst they may have traditions within their homes, that’s far from a sign that they are weak or obeying the whims of their men. Italian women are often fierce, ruling their men with an iron hand, but they may still do the cooking. Though, of course, there are many exceptions to the rule.
Go to Town on the Romance
American men might get a bout of queasiness or commitment panic if you get all romantic and prepare anything from picnics to hot baths for them. The Italians, not so much. Rather the contrary. Chances are an Italian man will appreciate your efforts in the romance department. After all, he is probably tremendously romantic himself, complimenting you every two seconds and looking into your eyes like you were the lost princess of his life. So don’t be frightened to get the candles out – you’ve finally found a man who will appreciate it.
Let Him Chase You
Never give in too easily to an Italian. He will enjoy the chase, proving his manliness in the process. Let him show you he has character before you let him have you. Be busy when he calls, don’t be available for every date he suggests (especially make him work around your calendar for the first one) and don’t reply instantly to all his texts. See if he has what it takes to woo you properly.
Don’t, however, play silly games where you always wait to reply to a text, never answer the phone and can’t make a single date. Nor pretend like you have no interest whatsoever – you have to give him some hint or he will move on to someone else. All you have to do is basically show you don’t give in to just anyone – you first judge their character, then make your choice. You flirt, but you don’t give in. And that’s a valid point no matter who you date – Italian or no Italian.
Talk to Him
If you end up dating someone for some time, you have to talk to him to figure out what you both want from this. Do you want a relationship? In that case, what does that mean? How do you see relationships? Fidelity? What do you both expect from your futures? Where do you want to live? This is important in any relationship, but when there are cultural differences, even more so. You have to beware there will be cultural differences and what you may see as disrespectful is actually not and vice versa.
If you love someone you have to let them be who they are, following their heart, as must they do the same for you. You also both have to learn where you are willing to compromise.
There will be a few misunderstandings and communication is the golden key to both preventing and unraveling them.
By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery