Why Does Love Hurt?

By on January 25, 2014


Romanticized in literature and film, love is supposed to be an all-encompassing feeling. Unfortunately, love hurts many of the people who have experienced the highs of enthrallment. It can make you float in the skies and just as quickly drop you into darkness. Even when you remain in love with your partner, you may still experience pain at times.

What Causes the Pain?

Like heat or humidity, love is a sensation like any other. It is impossible to see or define, but we feel it anyways. Love is experienced by the brain like other feelings. When you suffer from an injury, your body registers pain. This sensation is intended to be a warning to leave or escape from the pain. Likewise, love causes the same sensation. It is a way for your mind to warn you that you should be wary in your relationship.

More than Just Love

Love is never expressed by just one emotion. It typically is a mixture of positive and negative feelings. When the negative emotions take hold, individuals may feel jealousy, fear, loneliness, anger or helplessness. It may seem at times like it is impossible for you to take control of your heart. When you are in a bad relationship, stress levels increase even more. You may find it easier to become tired and normal daily events may seem impossible to cope with. When love begins to cause you pain, you may notice that your mind is preoccupied. You cannot focus on other things that matter in life and are only concerned with the pain you are currently experience. If the relationship goes south or ends, it may cause you to feel like no one loves you or will ever love you. This may cause feelings of vulnerability or helplessness to develop. As these feelings start to accumulate, it will only increase the tension and stress that you feel.


How Is Love Transformed Into Pain?

A breakup or temporary break can cause a range of pain and negative emotions. Many broken hearted ladies feel the same emotions. Unfortunately, many cases are worsened by the choices that people make. After a breakup, you may try to avoid moving on. Even though this is your only choice, you remain grounded in the past. This can make it impossible to overcome your negative emotions and get on with your life. If the breakup has not occurred yer, you may remain stuck within a negative relationship. For many people, the inattention of a lover causes them to become clingy. Even when you know that your boyfriend or girlfriend has checked out, you still cling to the hope that everything will improve.

After a breakup, one of the first reactions is to go out for a night on the town or spend the evening alone with a bottle of wine. Although intoxication is appealing at first, it will only cause you to wake up more depressed. The added hangover and headache will only worsen the situation. On the opposite side of the equation, some women avoid going out after a breakup. Instead of overdoing things in their social life, they try to isolate themselves from the rest of the world. In these instances, ladies may try to avoid outings with friends or evenings with their family.

With a harsh breakup, some ladies may try to find a way to feel more miserable. As misery and loss are compounded over time, it is common for ladies to try hurting themselves or make bad choices. They may relive the relationship or stay mired miserably in the past. No matter what method women take, all of these options only serve to make love hurt more.

Physical and Emotional Pain Both Hurt

A team of researchers from the University of Michigan and Columbia University recently completed a study on individuals who had experienced a recent breakup. They performed brains scans on the patients and the data showed severe amounts of pain. Women who have experienced a heart break show the same MRI readings as someone who was actually physically injured. Through this study, researchers have developed a new understanding of how pain and love are intermingled. You feel pain that is comparable to an injury because that is how your mind processes it. Although this experience has an evolutionary basis, it still hurts for the individual who is experiencing it.

It is impossible to divorce love from pain. Almost everyone has experienced a bad relationship or a breakup in their life. Although the pain can be unbearable at times, it is ultimately worth the risk. The only way to remove the pain of heartbreak is to avoid love entirely. To counteract this problem, some women deliberately try to find a rebound relationship to feel the pleasure of love again. This technique is effective in the short-term, but will never truly remedy the pain. To deal with a broken heart, the best method is to spend time with loved ones and move on. Focus on rebuilding your life and avoid thinking about your former relationship.


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