What is Chemistry Between Two People

By on April 22, 2015

Chemistry is a feeling of attraction that creates the desire to share your life with someone on the physical, emotional and psychological levels. Chemistry is said to come from pheromones which are invisible chemicals that can be shared between people and essentially get them in sync. When two people feel chemistry, they will often feel their heart race, their body temperature may go up and they may feel nervous in the other person’s presence.


Chemistry is definitely a real phenomenon and is also a rare phenomenon. We’ve all heard about people going on a first date and afterwards saying there just wasn’t any chemistry. Other people can also observe the chemistry between two people and almost feel how in tune the couple is.


How To Know If You Have Chemistry


The good thing is, if you have chemistry, you won’t have to ask yourself, you will just know. Chemistry is an experience and cannot be fabricated. Sometimes just one person feels an attraction towards the other person however, chemistry is when the feeling is mutual and creates an even stronger bond.


You know you have chemistry when you forget where you are when you’re hanging out with someone because you’re so engrossed in the other person. You know you have chemistry when you think about that person first thing in the morning or throughout the day. If you both have trouble not holding hands in public, that’s another sign you have some incredible chemistry going on.


How Do You Find Chemistry

This is what most people have a hard time with because they go about it backwards. They think that chemistry will come by looking for it and become fixated on how miserable they are because they don’t have it. Chemistry really comes from knowing yourself so well that you can essential link to a compatible partner energetically. When you have a strong energy because you put a lot of effort into being the best person you can possibly be inside, you will tap into the source of chemistry.


The timing will happen on it’s own and you cannot force it. My best advice is not to worry about finding chemistry, just know that the more you work on yourself to be a positive and healthy individual, with balance, skills and compassion, the easier it will be to find chemistry with someone.


Humans are attracted to physical beauty yes but real chemistry comes from a deeper emotional connection that requires both people to be vulnerable and completely loving. It’s beautiful to witness or experience chemistry, which are physiological and emotional effects.


What Does Chemistry Feel Like?

Chemistry can be different depending on what the person you meet has been brought into your life to help you with. Chemistry allows people to grow and sometimes it can bring intense emotions with it. People that have not done a lot of emotional work on themselves will often have chemistry with someone who needs to work on similar things and they will see their own problems in someone else. This is actually a very empowering and valuable thing to experience because without a mirror, we can’t see what we look like.


Chemistry is usually a good thing, it’s the thing that makes people want to keep hanging out and rearrange their schedule to spend time together. It’s what makes people want to commit to each other and plan their lives together. There is a feeling of ‘oneness’ when two people have chemistry and the bond is so close that they start to think and feel the same things. Communication will feel very open and you’ll feel like you’ve known the other person for a long time very quickly. This is because you’re resonating with very similar vibrations.


Where Does It Come From?

Scientists describe everything as vibrations and everything in life is in constant motion, even our thoughts. Thoughts have actually the strongest and fastest measurable wavelength and when we feel chemistry with someone, we will often find they have similar thoughts to ours. The universal law of like attracts like applies in our bodies which are chemicals. The fun part for us is to determine if the chemistry we are experiencing is reflecting something good about ourselves or something we want to change. This is the value of love and feeling head over heels for someone, we get to work on ourselves.


Is It Always A Good Thing?

Chemistry will usually allow two people to feel so happy that they laugh and end up finding lots of funny experiences together. They are able to share their full selves, shortcomings and all, without being judged. They care about each other and try to help each other make good decisions. Sometimes when people are not yet emotionally mature, the chemistry will bring stuff up that you need to deal with such as fear. This, I am very sure, its still a good thing because we do need to face all of our emotions and integrate them into our wholeness in order to be fully happy. Even if it is hard to face or painful, chemistry will always bring you exactly what you need.


So don’t keep yourself up at night wondering when chemistry is going to show up in your life. Just work on yourself, do your best to be a good person, make decisions out of self love and work on having a healthy view of yourself. When you begin to radiate, you will find chemistry. Don’t confuse the chemistry for a sign to stop loving yourself or working on yourself, that chemistry will be fueled by you staying true to yourself. In the best case scenario, you and your partners chemistry will help you both become your best selves.

Chemistry finds us when it’s supposed to. Some people find it earlier in life and some people won’t find it until later. Some people find it multiple times. But when you both feel like you’re soul mates, you know you’ve found it. If you want to find chemistry with someone, envision what it feels like to be in your future partners presence and feel totally comfortable, send that person love even though you haven’t met them and just be patient until they manifest into your reality.


  1. Avatar


    August 25, 2019 at 11:11 pm

    Be careful … I fell in love over years of texting and talking , sharing my deepest thoughts . After over five years and much feeling and desire inside , I could not wait to meet him .
    I was so excited and happy …. after a couple of intimate days he fully withdrew and blamed it on other small issues . He finally admitted that he felt NO chemistry and just wanted to be my good friend !

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 26, 2019 at 10:25 am

      Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights. The behaviors of this person from your past were inappropriate. It is certain that your comment will help other members of our community. Please share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Dana!

  2. Avatar


    April 17, 2019 at 5:08 am

    Its the most beautiful explanation about chemistry I have read. Thank you.
    “Chemistry finds us when it’s supposed to…”

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 17, 2019 at 10:40 pm

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Please share more of your positive comments in the future. Have a great day, Guest!

  3. Avatar


    September 17, 2017 at 5:42 pm

    Ok, so here I am. I got through my three years relationship and it ruined me, it still ruins me. I wont give the details but it was a sick relationship, in the end we couldn’t even talk to each other. I’ve male friend for one year, he’s smart, funny and so kind that it makes me cry. I’m really feeling like I’ve been never valued like this. All of my friends saying he likes me, I still dont want to accept this because his feelings are not mutual, I’m still trying to forget my ex and I dont want to get through our friendship but day by day I feel confused about him and last time he hug me to say goodbye I felt chemical attraction to him. It was just a second but it was there and it scared me too much. I don’t know what to do, I don’t even want one night stand thing, especially with my friend,  I’m still trying to forget my ex. We cant be in a relationship too because I’m still broken and trying to find myself, it will be so unhealthy to be in a relationship with anyone now. I felt that attraction because of his vibes? Is it mutual, did he feel this too when we hugged? Or is it one sided? What should I do with this now?

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 17, 2017 at 10:10 pm

      Allow your previous relationship to fade from your mind. Determine if you want to reach out to your friend. If you want to develop a relationship with him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. It will be beneficial for your relationship if you spend additional time with him as well. Have a great day, Ruthie!

  4. Avatar


    September 1, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    It is sad when you find the chemistry you have always dreamed of and you know it was mutual, then the other person gets too scared by it and runs away leaving you wondering how it could disappear in the blink of an eye

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 1, 2017 at 8:51 pm

      You are right. It is difficult to have strong relationships end. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to reach out to this person, then do so. Speak directly and honestly with them about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Kim!

  5. Avatar


    August 24, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    I’m so glad I ran into this article. I didn’t understand what was going on with me. Let me explain why. I’m in my forties, married and recently experienced very intense chemistry with another married man. We started off as friendly colleagues (whom I only saw a couple times a month), no initial attraction or signs of mutual love intentions at all, especially since he is physically not my type. But then over the course of a 3-4 months, something was different as though I woke up one day and the dots were connected and something just ‘clicked’. I experienced all of the symptoms, the energy when this person was nearby, nervousness, butterflies, also the sexual intensity, it felt like a magnet and I sometimes had to leave the building. I was very careful not to let anyone see what I was experiencing. I knew it was attraction of some kind, but did not understand it. I’ve had initial attraction for my husband and love him, but it was not this intense. In a way, I felt as though he felt it too (but I never said anything to him initially). It became harder and harder to control my emotions inside around him but I tried very hard to act normal at the same time enjoyed the happiness was feeling. There is more to this story, such as like catching his glances at me, his hand on my shoulder when he was commenting to me but nothing was ever consummated just a lot of exchanged non-verbal energy and eye contact. Eventually I left the company after several months, it became too difficult to control my emotions. He called me on my last day of work and what was supposed to be a short phone call lasted a long time. Still neither of us said what we were truly feeling. After we hung up, I sat there for a few moments and decided to text him what I had been feeling for him. It felt amazing to be vulnerable and communicate to him what I had locked up inside all of those months and never reached out to him again. I felt closure but also a sadness. I still think about him as of today. Thanks for letting me share this experience, I have no regrets at all. 🙂

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 24, 2017 at 7:39 pm

      Thank you for sharing your experiences. You have made an excellent decision to allow this relationship to fade. Focus your emotional energy on your current partner. You will find this much more rewarding than establishing a relationship with someone else. If this occurs in the future, then you may find benefit in taking a vacation with your current partner. Have a great day, Michelle!

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    May 19, 2017 at 2:23 pm

    I met someone and we had incredibly strong chemistry-he left for a holiday for 2 weeks the day after (no he really did lol) and I’ve not heard from him again….I’m so surprised and a little sad.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 20, 2017 at 1:39 pm

      You never heard from him after the holiday? Or is he still on holiday? If it hasn’t been too long, reach out to him. He may have just gotten busy and forgotten to get in touch again. Go for it and see what happens! Good luck, Emily!

  7. Avatar

    Richelle McQuown

    May 4, 2017 at 7:31 pm

    So is it possible to have chemistry with someone you’ve never met? Only have talked via text? We both feel like we’ve known eachother for a long time, in reality it was only a week. We both get get anxious just thinking about the other, especially if we discuss meeting in person. We have text the same exact thing at the same exact time. We tend to have similarities yet be different. We are both drawn to eachother very much so. It’s been like that since the first time we talked. I’ve never felt this strongly & intensely about anyone else in my life. I get butterflies, orgasmic feelings that shoot through my body, & I feel like puking just thinking about him. Just need clarification on what we have going on.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 6, 2017 at 1:22 pm

      Yes, it is possible. Some people even fall in love after only reading letters from each other for months or years. Obviously, you will still want to meet him in person to make sure that your in-person chemistry is just as strong. It sounds like you are off to a good start though, so keep talking to him. Good luck, Richelle McQuown!

  8. Avatar

    Abdulrahman bello

    May 2, 2017 at 2:54 pm

    Î love chamistry

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 3, 2017 at 2:00 pm

      Thank you for your positive comment. Have a great day, Abdulrahman!

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