What Does It Mean When He Says He Wants You?

By on November 6, 2017

Holly Black said, “I want you and I hate wanting things and I especially hate admitting that I want them.” In similar fashion Denis Leary said, “I want you to take away the hope because that’s the thing that’s killing me.”

So what does it mean when he says he wants you?

Let’s start at the very beginning, the easy to decipher stuff. He wants to touch you. You’re attractive to him and he’s saying he wants you because he does. Remember, in western culture nearly all romantic relationships begin with or quickly come to include attraction, touch, and sensuality. He’s saying he sees in you the potential for these things and he wants to explore it. Maybe it’s his way of breaking the ice, of seeing if the attraction is returned. “I want you,” whether said during a kiss, whispered in your ear, or even via text can easily be translated into, “I’ve got intimacy on the brain.” At this point our friendly advise would be to face the music honestly. If you feel the same, now would be a great time to tell him and see where it goes. If you absolutely don’t return those amorous feelings it would also be the time to let it out. Ho humming around this phrase could easily be seen as rejection or stringing him along (which sucks to be on the receiving end of). If you’re feeling the same vibe but have reservations for whatever reason, it may be time to clear the air and discuss what’s holding you back. He was honest about his needs. Return the favor.

It could also mean more than just a physical thing. Have you been dating? Are you exclusive yet? Is your relationship on the precipice of turning from friendship into something more? His “I want you” could be a confession that things on his part have changed, deepened, or grown since the last time you guys had the where we are talk. It could be he wants you to be his girlfriend, he wants you to start considering a long term commitment with him, or that he’s seen all of your personality and is amazed by it. Intimacy isn’t just about the body. Many men want in their long term partners a meeting of minds and interests as well. He’s drawn to you, and he wants you to know.

Finally, if none of these possibilities makes sense in your situation the thing to do is ask. If he says he wants you, you can follow that up with a, “to?” The weird grey area thing is fun for no one. While all relationships have them, those that come out healthy and worthy are ones where people speak their affection and define their boundaries with honesty and respect. Be like a Pandorian na’vi. Know what the term, “I see you” means and use it appropriately. It’s can be but can be more than a booty call. Know how he means it or ask. Guessing isn’t the name of the game.

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