What Does It Mean When He Never Texts First But Replies?

By on November 3, 2017

There’s a lot more to this question than appears initially. It leaves me to wonder things like: where are you at in your relationship; what are your schedules like; what’s a normal texting conversation between the two of you? These play a big role in why he may not initiate texts.

Do you guys work, learn, or train on the same schedule? If you’re a night owl and he’s an early bird it might just be a case of never the right time. He may not want to wake you or disturb you while you’re busy. There’s a difference though, a big one, between being considerate and being uninterested. If he knows you’ve had a bad day, aren’t feeling well, or even something exciting like you’ve recently started a new job he should reach out. He should be as dedicated to staying on the same page with you as your are. Unless, of course, the relationship is new or casual. Even a close friend should want to check in on you, though. If you ever felt the urge to text, “Don’t worry. I’m alright,” into the silent ether, you may want to reevaluate what the two of you have going on.

Maybe he’s just a caller. This kind of guy gets a right swipe from us! Some guys are just more old fashioned when it comes to communication. They want to hear your voice, decode the nuances in a conversation, or are really worried that they won’t convey what they want to via text. We’ve all had that texting fiasco where autocorrect became the harbinger of the apocalypse of our social lives. You can understand him not wanting to be THAT guy. You’ve seen the meme before, right? The one that looks like this-

Girl- Thank you again for the amazing first date.
Guy- Let’s make sure to schedule a second! I can’t wait to see those big beautiful nipples of yours.
Guy- NO
Guy- I’m so sorry. I meant dimples. My photo autocorrected it.
Guy- I did not mean to write nipples.
Guy- I’m going to go jump off a bridge now.

See? Poor guy seemed to have his swagger on, treated a cute girl to a nice first date, and had to watch it all blow up in his face over one hilarious, yet terribly embarrassing mistake. If he’d rather call you and leave the texts to you, that’s okay. We all have our preferred method of communicating. Mine= through a drive through window over a crackly speaker ordering tacos.

Finally, and I hate to quote overhyped movies, he’s just not that into you. As Greg Behrendt says, “Here’s something else to think about: calling when you say you’re going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down, you ain’t never gonna have a house baby, and it’s cold outside.” There’s something to be said for being dependable and showing interest. If he only does that when you’ve put the effort in to taking the first step it may be time to downgrade him to the friend zone or, if it’s a pattern of behavior, out the door.

Finally, he may not be sure where he stands in the relationship with you. Have you told him you like seeing your phone light up with his messages? Have you told him he’s important (even though you, of course, got to come first, as well as friends, family, and other people who don’t feel weird about reaching out to you). If he’s not sure if he’s interrupting your time with someone else, maybe it’s time to have THE conversation. Good luck to you too, because we know how awesome the lead up to that never is.

Just remember you’re awesome! You’re you! You deserve someone who thinks about you and wants to let you know he thinks about you when you’re not together.

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