10 Ways To Understand Men
If you have a negative view of men, I’m here to change that. First of all men are awesome. We can’t spend our lives dreading or feeling resentful towards half of the population. The view women have of men in our culture has the flu. What I mean is our perspective is off. Many times I hear women say there are no good men out there or that men are all emotionally closed off. I know there are many committed and emotionally mature men out there just waiting for you to realize they exist. So let’s break down these myths about men and get to the truth about them. They are not that different from women and you will usually attract someone with very similar traits to your own do to the law of attraction. By focusing on the positive traits in men, we attract loving and kind individuals and amazing relationships flourish. If you’re doubting me, read on…
They Don’t Like To Hear Every Detail About Your Conversations
While at first read, this may make you kind of bummed out, I would like to propose that this is actually a good thing. Men are more careful (usually) with their words than women who can tend to gab on mindlessly about how the man operating the car wash pissed her off or how her favorite aunt is travelling to New Jersey. It’s like seriously, who cares? I don’t mean this in a rude way, it’s actually that men do like to talk about important things and just don’t like idle background noise. So try not to just talk to fill the silence. Be careful with your words and speak about things that are positive and constructive.
They Do Care About Your Feelings
Another myth I would like to bust is that men are insensitive. This is an old wives tale that if you believe, you will project onto men. If you enter a relationship just waiting to see his insensitivity, sure enough, it will pop up. However, if you look at and focus on the ways that he shows you he cares and focus on being kind to him and seeing life through his eyes, you will have less fights and more healthy relationships.
They Are Statistically Just as Loyal As Women
Many women think men are naturally cheaters and they need to spy on their men or look better than other women to keep them. This is also not the case. Women are statistically just as likely to lie and cheat if not more likely so you can imagine those men are just as gun shy to commit as you are!
They Care About Your Actions and Words More Than Your Looks
Pulling from number 3, women are insecure and think they must look like a magazine cover to have their man’s undivided attention. If your man is attracted to you, it’s a chemical thing, not something that can be contrived by makeup and painful highheels. Men love your energy more than anything so if you can love yourself and be happy, you’re more likely to have a healthy relationship than if you’re putting the key to your self worth in the back pocket of someone else’s jeans. Capiche?
They Enjoy Your Company if You Stay Positive
As I said, men enjoy being around positive energy. If you have infectiously positive energy, you will have your pick of the litter. If you are always focused on what could go wrong, gossiping about people, being jealous or pointing out your man’s flaws, he’s not likely to enjoy your company. Nor would you enjoy his if he was a negative nancy.
They Leave When You Become Negative or Insecure
Many times women wonder why men disappear or don’t call them back. It’s rather simple, if they aren’t joyful in your presence, they don’t want to hang out with you. If you know you’re positive, then they may be going through something that has nothing to do with you. If you’re projecting insecurities onto him and confusing your feelings with a result of his actions, you’re basically putting a fork in it because it’s done. That is a very empowering realization though because if we can be conscious of our thoughts which leads into being conscious of our words, we can save and heal our relationships ourselves instead of feeling out of control. Meditation ladies, not medication.
They Like Natural Body Types
A common misconception is that men want stick thin model type girls. The truth is, nature made us to be attracted to each other, naturally which means, the way we are made and naturally formed. Men like curves and adore what we see as imperfections. Each of us are carefully and beautifully sculpted and that beauty can only show when we stop comparing ourselves to others and be comfortable in our own skin. Once again, an empowering perspective that is scientifically proven.
They Appreciate Silence
You do not need to entertain your man or sound interesting at all times. He likes to think and contemplate and plan. He doesn’t need you to constantly talk and honestly if you like to talk all the time I bet it would be helpful to incorporate more silence and reflection into your life. If your man is more quiet than you’re used to, look at it as a sign of maturity and a gift so you too can have time to think, plan, reflect and just be peaceful.
They Like Affection and Romance
Contrary to popular belief, men look forward to date nights just as much as you. They often times don’t want to come off as overly attracted to you because they want to give you space. They’re just as nervous about scaring you off and winning you over as you are. They want to play it cool even though they’re dying to spend time with you and love you. Tough guy ain’t so tough, he’s just scared.
They Show Affection by Helping You Solve Problems
Men love it when you consult them on big decisions, especially when it comes to big purchases. Women, more often than not, do not know as much about cars as men do and it can actually save you quite a bit of money to put the pride aside and let them give you some input. Our own ego is all that keeps us from asking for help and if you do it, they are more likely to feel comfortable asking you for help in return.
I hope I’ve converted at least one of you doubting Debbies to the viewpoint that men are amazing and fun to have relationships with. Relationships are one of the best things in life and shouldn’t be dreaded or thought of as a challenge. Remember, perspective is everything. When you notice how you think about things, think about if that makes you happy and if it doesn’t, change it! Remember, men are naturally more inclined to logical rational thinking and they enjoy our intuitive emotional sides because it doesn’t come easy to them just as logic and ration doesn’t come easy to us. I realize that is a blanket statement and generalization that doesn’t always apply but I look at it as each individual will either have more yin or yang and the person they attract will balance them out. Yin or yang is not good or bad it’s just that one is receptive and one is giving. We need both and both are equally important. Learn from each other and have fun in the process!