17 Songs about Loving Someone You Can’t Have 

By on November 19, 2017

You’re not alone in loving someone you can’t have…and here are 17 songs to prove it!

Loving someone you can’t have, quite frankly, sucks. As Kate Winslet put it in The Holiday (because I really couldn’t have put it any better myself):

I’ve found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said “Journeys end in lovers meeting.” Oh, what an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said “love is blind”. Now that is something I know to be true.

For some, quite inexplicably, love fades. For others, love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there’s another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It’s called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert.

Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space.

Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years. The absolute worst years of my life. The worst Christmas’s, the worst Birthday’s, New Years Eve’s brought in by tears. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I’ve been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him. Heart pounding. Throat thickening. Absolutely can’t swallow. All the usual symptoms.

[…]

What I am trying to say is I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places that you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new hair cuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of Chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the heel for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door.

And after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new, and you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again, and little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

Now that you’ve read that you know that you are not alone. You also know that falling out of love is quite possible. Finding new love, requited love, just as possible (and there are several articles on here that will give you tips on that). That said let’s have a look at songs that resonate with how you feel (though I’m more pro recommending you to watch The Holiday and focus on rebuilding your life – it’s what I did when my ex left me many years ago…I still love that movie!).

All By Myself – Céline Dion

You know that beginning scene to Bridget Jones Diary? Renee Zellwegger sitting in her PJs, singing All by Myself while drinking vodka? The song might not specify a certain person as a love interest, but anyone suffering from unrequited love can most certainly recognize themselves in it. (And do watch Bridget Jones Diary if you’re feeling down in the dumps – you’ll be smiling by the end of it!).

All by myself

Don’t want to be, all by myself anymore

All by myself

Don’t want to live, all by myself anymore

Needles and Pins – The Searchers 

Bring back the good old fifties! This song may be about unrequited love, but it has a happy melody which one just can’t resist singing along to! Definitively more of a feel-good song than many others on this list. Sing along with it to take out your frustrations on how you are feeling and make yourself feel good simultaneously. There’s even a bit of a revenge theme to this song…which may not be all that “aware” and “conscious” to think of, but hey, sometimes a little bit of gloating is a like a dollop of Ben and Jerry’s – too indulgent to resist!

I saw her today, I saw her face, it was a face I loved, and I knew

I had to run away, and get down on my knees and pray that they’d go away

But still they’d begin (uh), needles and pins (uh)

Because of all my pride, the tears I gotta hide

Hey I thought I was smart, I’d won her heart

Didn’t think I’d do, but now I see

She’s worse to him than me, let her go ahead

Take his love instead, and one day she will see

Just how to say please, and get down on her knees

Hey that’s how it begins (uh), she’ll feel those needles and pins

A-hurtin’ her, a-hurtin’ her

Dancing On My Own – Robyn / Calum Scott

Heartbreaking. You’re in the corner watching him/her kiss someone else… But oh what a beautiful song! And Robyn’s version is definitively…happier due to making you want to dance!

Moving On and Getting Over – John Mayer

That voice, that man, this sad song…

Moving on and getting over

Are not the same, it seems to me

‘Cause you’ve been gone, I’m growing older

But I still can’t seem to get you off my mind

And I do believe I feel you all the time

To Know Him Is to Love Him – Amy Winehouse 

That feeling of one day he will know that you’re meant for him. Really. Right?!

It’s a Heartache – Bonnie Tyler

“It’s a heartache, nothing but a heartache. Hits you when it’s too late, hits you when you’re down…” Need I say more?

Andreas Johnson – It Should Have Been Me

This is a song I used to love – jazzy, sad and that rainy Sunday kind of feeling. And of course, all about unrequited love. “It should have been me. It should have been my kind of love.”

Creep – Radiohead

A classic. Don’t we all wish we were special? Like that special one we can’t get out of our heads?

When you were here before

Couldn’t look you in the eye

You’re just like an angel

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

And I wish I was special

You’re so fuckin’ special

You Belong with Me – Taylor Swift

When you feel that you’re the one who understands them, you’re their great friend…and they’re with that drama queen who is just so not right for them. But if they want to suffer…what can you do? Not much. (But hey, spoiler alert: in the video there’s a happy ending!)

The Kill – 30 Seconds To Mars

This song is, in truth, about a break-up with self…facing one’s fears and becoming who one truly is, BUT most people going through a break-up with another person can relate to the very same words.  (Oh and the acoustic version is just the best!)

I tried to be someone else

But nothing seemed to change

I know now, this is who I really am inside.

Finally found myself

Fighting for a chance.

I know now, this is who I really am.

Love Yourself – Justin Bieber

You know that feeling, you’re in love with them still, but you shouldn’t be, but you are, but all they care about is themselves, so you should be moving on… Yeah, that. This song will definitively get you thinking about moving on!

‘Cause if you like the way you look that much

Oh baby you should go and love yourself

And if you think that I’m still holdin’ on to somethin’

You should go and love yourself

Somebody That I Used To Know – Gotye 

After the break-up…suddenly they’re just somebody you used to love. I mean know.

Grenade – Bruno Mars

You’d take a grenade for them…do anything for them…and they’d do nothing for you. What’s fair in that?

If I Could Turn Back Time – Cher 

If only you could, because then they’d stay…

Take a Bow – Rihanna 

You were so in love (still are) and the person cheated on you! It’s time to face up to the fact that s/he isn’t really sorry and you’re better of without him/her. You’re just gonna get through another pack of Kleenex first. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry cause you’re not. Baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught.”

Cecilia – Simon and Garfunkel

We’re back to the 50s/60s and a happy tune about an unhappy subject: Cecilia. The woman who continuously ends up in bed with someone else…and he can’t stop begging her to come home…

Not Just Friends – Connell Cruise

That feeling when they want to be just friends. Ugh. And the music to this song really pulls you in as well to feel the sting of those words.

A Final Word…

Now, when you are done with this depressing list, put on Shania Twain’s Man I Feel Like a Woman or That Don’t Impress Me Much! And why not add Pink’s Just Give Me a Reason,  Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive. Go have fun, get a life, join a meet-up group, go to the gym, take your girlfriends on a  weekend away, watch comedies, score a better job, make sure you do what you love! Soon enough love will find you!

78 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Anonymoooo

    August 11, 2019 at 12:43 pm

    So, I like a guy that I’m friends with. It’s kind of a tough situation because he makes it clear that he likes me also. We both get along and make each other laugh a lot. But, my girl-fiend likes him. She has been texting him a while, but he has showed no interest in her. He just texts her as a friend. I had liked him before but she never took this into consideration before she began texting him. I got over him and now I like him again because we had spent lot of time with one another. But now he’s texting me and I don’t know what I should do. Should I risk my happiness for my friend? Or risk my friendship for my happiness?

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 12, 2019 at 8:35 pm

      You and your guy friend are interested in each other. You are also aware that your friend is interested in him, but you know that he isn’t interested in her. Because of this, you should speak with your friend about your thoughts and feelings. Inform her that you are also interested in this person, but ensure that you put your friendship with her first. Do not go behind her back, as this will permanently harm your relationship for a romantic relationship that may or may not be temporary. Regardless of your decision, you will find great benefit in sharing your kindness and compassion at all times. Have a great day, Anon!

  2. Avatar

    Colin

    July 19, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    Let me start by saying that I love my wife. She’s the mother of my children. I’m just not IN LOVE with her anymore after 12 years together. I don’t think she even knows it. I probably sound very selfish because I’m putting her through the very thing you spoke of but I’ve found myself falling for another woman. A woman who gives me all the feelings that my wife used to but no longer does. I am torn between confusing my young daughters and making them sad as well as my wife and being happy. It probably sounds crazy coming from a man who has admittedly cheated on his wife with this other woman multiple times, but I really do care for her and don’t want to cause her any sorrow. I know I should tell her but I just don’t know how. I wish I felt different but I don’t. I wish I could make my feelings for this other woman, who I’m not even so sure is in love with me, go away. But i can’t. I can not help the way i feel. Please keep this all in mind before you judge me. I know what I’m doing is wrong but this woman makes me feel so alive again. She’s so very special to me. I’m stuck in between a rock and the hardest of places. I’m faced with the decision of breaking other people’s hearts or mending my own. I feel like a horrible person.

    • web admin

      web admin

      July 19, 2019 at 4:58 pm

      You are married. You are harming your partner by nourishing a relationship with another woman. You are aware that your actions are hurting your wife and your children. You know what you are doing is wrong. Harming someone else will not mend your heart. It seems like you need to inform your wife of your behaviors, and speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Your children should remain with your wife, as she has not made the decision to behave in this manner. Have a great day, Colin!

  3. Avatar

    Scrooge

    June 29, 2019 at 7:54 pm

    So I’m in a toxic relationship, where let’s say we had different view points about something then he’d make me feel stupid and stuff and he wouldn’t let me have male friends or talk to them, very controlling, but anyway so my friends ex and me have this sort of relationship where we aren’t together but we act like we are, but anyway I’m ending it with my boyfriend in a couple weeks but even when I do I can’t be with the other guy because my friend was with him and I can’t ask her because I know it won’t end well, my last friend asked her and she freaked out but anyway, plus my boyfriend hates the other guy so it would make me look bad and cause a lot of drama.. but I really like him and he likes me too but I couldn’t be with him :/

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 30, 2019 at 11:52 pm

      It seems that you are aware that your current relationship will end. End this relationship immediately. Determine what you want for your future without him, and focus your emotional energy elsewhere. There is no reason to continue a relationship that you intend to end. Do not cause your partner additional suffering, and move on with your life. Have a great day, Scrooge!

  4. Avatar

    Zoe

    May 19, 2019 at 7:11 am

    I’m in ldr. And my boyfriend just told me that he can’t promise me forever because that’s going to be a lie if he did. I love the guy so much but he’s married. Couldn’t get divorce because of the religious ties. But the real reason we can’t be together is because of what’s happening in his life now. He struggles so much and he’s very broke. My heart is just so heavy and I don’t know if until when I can hold on to this or should I.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 20, 2019 at 1:40 pm

      This person is married. He is not going to get a divorce. It is clear that the two of you do not have a future together. Make a decision about what you want for your future without him. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion at all times, as this will draw positive people and energy into your life. Have a great day, Zoe!

  5. Avatar

    hannah

    March 29, 2019 at 10:02 am

    i just got in a new relationship, but im scared he is just gonna be like my ex. he is very sweet and says things to me no guy ever has and i feel like he is different but at the same time im worried he is just gonna end up just using me like my ex did. what do i do? cos he is amazing and i never felt this way about anyone but i say that alot but its different this time, im scared imma end up with a broken heart

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 29, 2019 at 11:52 pm

      Your current partner and your ex are different people. You will find benefit in not treating your current partner poorly because of actions of another person. Focus your emotional energy on your current partner, and allow thoughts of your ex to fade. If your partner behaves in a manner that you don’t find appropriate, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Nourish your relationship by spending additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Hannah!

  6. Avatar

    Nicholas Campbell

    March 14, 2019 at 10:22 pm

    I was in a toxic relationship with a man who called me silly when I was being silly. I took this offensively and ended it. Was it the right thing to do?

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 16, 2019 at 11:00 pm

      His behavior as you described it was not toxic, and your reaction was likely excessive. However, if he actually abused or neglected you during your relationship and you decided that you could no longer maintain a relationship with him, then you made the decision that was right for you. If he treated you well and simply called you silly when you were being silly, and you decided to end the relationship, then that was a poor decision which likely caused him to feel harmed and confused. Take this knowledge and apply it to your future relationships. Have a great day, Nicholas!

  7. Avatar

    anonymous

    March 14, 2019 at 11:08 am

    im in a toxic relationship with a guy and the dude that i was in love with was waiting for me to end it, but i couldnt without time and just a few days ago i found out he is dating someone now, and we have been in love with each other for 2 years now just never found the right time to be together, but i was gonna end it with my boyfriend in 2 more days, but the guy already waited a month but i had it all figured out and now its too late, i have to watch him love someone else when he is literally all i want and now i cant have him, is it my fault? like i know i should have ended it with my boyfriend it just wasnt that easy in the beginning…..

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 14, 2019 at 8:10 pm

      You are aware that you are in a relationship that is not beneficial. For whatever reason, you chose to remain in this relationship, while you were aware that the relationship was toxic. This other person who cares for you has decided to not wait for you, as you made it clear that you wanted to nourish this relationship with this other person. You should end your current relationship, as it is not beneficial to you. If this other person decides to end his relationship, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings at that time. Have a great day, Anon!

      • Avatar

        anonymous

        March 14, 2019 at 10:19 pm

        imma end it wit him but the thing is before he got a gf, he told me he was gonna wait and didnt even tell me about it, i found out threw his snap and he made me think he was gonna be mine

        • web admin

          web admin

          March 16, 2019 at 10:55 pm

          He currently has a girlfriend, and he did not do what he said he was going to do for you. Since these two things are the case, you should allow thoughts of him to fade. Focus your emotional energy elsewhere, and determine what you want for your future without him. Nourish your relationships with other friends by spending additional time with them in person. Have a great day, Anon!

  8. Avatar

    crushygirls

    March 8, 2019 at 5:37 am

    hi I love someone in grade 9 and I cant stop thinking about him. I always think of him at day or night and I sometime get a dream about him. I really feel if we were friends we would be happy but I think that he loves someone in my class which is grade 8 what should I do cause I love him and he don’t know(of course since he don’t know me)

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 9, 2019 at 6:49 pm

      This person doesn’t know you, though you have feelings for him. Determine what you want for your future. If you want to develop a relationship with him, then nourish this relationship my by spending additional time with him in person. When the two of you are closer, speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Crushy!

      • Avatar

        crushygirls

        March 12, 2019 at 12:03 pm

        how can i be friends with him and today I am assured that he loves someone.

        • web admin

          web admin

          March 12, 2019 at 12:37 pm

          You can be friends with anyone and everyone who enters into your life. If you do not feel as though you are mature enough to maintain this friendship without behaving inappropriately, then ensure that you do not harm this other person. There is always benefit in sharing your kindness and compassion at all times. Determine what you want for your future and take appropriate action. Have a great day, Crushy!

          • Avatar

            crushygirls

            March 14, 2019 at 6:30 am

            do you have a tip for getting friends since he don’t know me??

            • web admin

              web admin

              March 14, 2019 at 7:50 pm

              If you are interested in strengthening a relationship with someone that you do not know, then you should speak with this person about neutral subjects. Share your hobbies and interests with this person, and give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. You will find great benefit in sharing your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Crushy!

  9. Avatar

    angela

    February 26, 2019 at 1:33 am

    I really love someone from afar. And by mean afar we are really miles away…the fact that I really love him and the fact that he don’t know me. Kills me

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 26, 2019 at 12:19 pm

      You love this person. He does not know you. There is a great distance between the two of you, and this likely will prevent this relationship from becoming viable. Determine what you want for your future, and ensure that your hopes are appropriate. You will find great benefit in sharing your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life, as this may help to draw this person into your life. Have a great day, Angela!

    • Avatar

      Oci

      August 18, 2019 at 5:01 pm

      Im falling in love with him, He’s a distant relative and he just broke up with his wife, so I might be a little distant at this age but it doesn’t matter to me.He’s very mature, humble, polite, and yeah good loking, he’s something to me, I always think about him all the time.He seems to be getting hit with his digestion. We weren’t really close but I kept a close eye on him.In fact, his house is very close to mine but he comes home once a week just outside of town. Im just really fallin love. What should i do? :(( I’m afraid she married someone else but with me it’s impossible

      • web admin

        web admin

        August 19, 2019 at 10:05 pm

        This person is your relative. Do not attempt to maintain a romantic relationship with him. It is acceptable for you to continue to maintain a social relationship with him. You will find great benefit in sharing your kindness and compassion at all times, as this will draw positive people and energy into your life. Have a great day, Oci!

  10. Avatar

    Jay

    October 29, 2018 at 10:03 am

    I go to school with this amazing person. Like we have been friends for ages. I really like her and idk how to tell her

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 29, 2018 at 8:58 pm

      The two of you share a history. You feel a strong social and emotional relationship with her. Determine what you want for your future. Speak with her about your thoughts and feelings. Give her an opportunity to share herself with you as well. Nourish this relationship by spending additional time with her in person. Have a great day, Jay!

    • Avatar

      Sophie

      March 31, 2019 at 10:29 am

      I am in love with a girl, I’ve been in love with her for more than a year, she’s prob the first person I have truly experienced that feeling of true love and need to care for, but she’s also the first woman I ever felt this way for (yes, I am a girl too) when I never thought i could. For 30 years I just never imagined it, but this special person just came into my life one day and turned it upside down; love is TRULY blind, today I have no doubt about that, and I understand so many things, but it has also been the most frustrating time in my life. If there’s one thing I’m sure of is that I didn’t get here alone, I didn’t develop these feelings on my own, it wasn’t just me, specially because she wasn’t a person of interest for me at the beginning, but she made sure I was around all the time, she looked at me in this way, like trying to read me, and she said things and treated me like I was special to her and other things I don’t want to bore you with, but the point is that when it came to truly talk about things and me telling her about my feelings she turned me down, she was extremely understanding; she knew about it! And even though things changed between us she was never mean or kicked me out of her life completely, today is like we never had that conversation, but I just haven’t been able to stop thinking about her this way, I still have feelings and all I want is for it to stop. Sometimes I don’t care, but sometimes I care too much, maybe today is one of those days since writing all of this in here, also not so many ppl in my life know about this, and yes I shared all of it with my therapist and I’m good about it, i have (for most part) accepted she’s not feeling the same and/or ever felt something for me, but sometimes I want to hear from others so I guess that’s how I got here. I happen to see this person almost every day and that’s probably why it has been a challenge to move on, when I go away I sometimes even forget, but when I see her again it hits me hard and makes me remember it all, she has this power over me , it’s weird. Sometimes I want to tell her all over again and see if maybe this time things go my way, but I don’t want to ruin things again, and also I don’t want to feel vulnerable, I wish she could be the one to say something, or that I can simply read her mind to know for sure, I just want to know for sure, I don’t really believe she was honest when we talked about it that first and only one time, I think she’s scared and frustrated as well.
      What do you guys think? I sound I bit pathetic right? I just hate that all of this feels (which btw I don’t easily feel) are just going to waste.

      Thanks for reading, I needed to just write to resee a bit of my frustration 🙂

      • web admin

        web admin

        April 1, 2019 at 12:05 am

        It is clear that you have strong feelings for this person. You have spoken with her and she shared herself with you as well. Since you are aware of her feelings for you, you should not attempt to speak with her again at this time. Continue to share your kindness and compassion with her. If she reaches out to you in the future, then speak with her about your thoughts and feelings at that time. For now, determine what you want for your future without her. Have a great day, Sophie!

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