Should I Move in With My Boyfriend
So you’ve been seeing your boyfriend for quite some time. Everything is going wonderful and you think you’re at a point in the relationship where you’re ready to move in together. But wait! Before you take the plunge, take a look at these 7 things to consider BEFORE moving in with your boyfriend- and avoid a potentially disastrous situation.
7 Things to Consider Before Moving In With You Boyfriend
1. You’ve Made it Through an Argument
You might have read that and said, “Um, what?” Well, just imagine this: you and your boyfriend have a picture perfect relationship. Never really had an argument. You’re all moved in together, and suddenly everything “hits the fan”. You’re arguing like crazy and want out. But it’s not that easy. You share a living space together. You’ll have to break the lease, move all of your stuff out, find a new place to live, etcetera- basically a HUGE hassle. It’s important to know the two of you can work things out and stick together before you move in!
2. You’ve Spent a Vacation Together
….And actually enjoyed it! If you couldn’t stand a weekend alone together, how in the world are you going to share living quarters with this guy? Before you even think about moving into the same living space together, try going on a few vacations together to get the feel of being stuck with each other for lengthy amounts of time in one sitting. It will give you some insight on how the two of you will act while you’re actually moved in with each other!
3. You Have Amazing Communication
Communication is key for a strong relationship- even more so when you’re living with the person and will have to discuss incredibly important matters like finances. If you’re lacking communication, than your relationship is bound to deteriorate and that one bedroom apartment will become lonely fighting grounds.
4. You Have the Finances
This one is pretty obvious: if you don’t have the money to move in and actually be able to have dinner on your plates every night, you should probably wait. On the other hand, if you both have good incomes and will be able to afford a place with a few luxuries on the side, more power to you.
5. You Have Similar Goals
Does he want to sit around and play video games for the next 20 years while you’re itching to get married and have kids? Having similar goals isn’t just important when you’re planning on moving in with someone- it’s important for a healthy, growing relationship. And you know what they say: it’s impossible to change someone- and that couldn’t be any truer. So don’t think just because he says something you don’t want to hear, you might be able to change him. Nine times out of ten your plan will fail and so will your relationship, so make sure you’re discussing your futures before even thinking about finding a place together.
6. You’re Not Doing it For Convenience
So many people think things will get easier or you’ll have a better relationship AFTER you move in. But this couldn’t be any further from the truth. The two of you will have to pay for things together, make important decisions together, LIVE together- these things are crazy and hectic, and absolutely stressful. It’s not a convenience, so don’t take moving in together as some magical fairytale that will fix all of your problems.
7. You’re Ready for a Life Change
When you move in with your partner, things change. Drastically. Now you can’t go out with your friends as much as you did before. Now you can’t just go to your room and be alone whenever you want. Now you can’t just have people over whenever you feel like it. You share your entire living quarters with another human being. You have to discuss what’s going on, where you’re going, and what the TWO of you will be doing. Life changes a lot, and that’s just a simple fact. So unless you’re ready to hang up your bachelor/bachelorette lifestyle, I suggest holding off on the big move.
5 Tips for Moving in Together
1. Set Ground Rules
You would set ground rules if you were moving in with a friend or family member, right? Well same should be true when you’re moving in with your partner. Rules are important for a happily functioning home, so try to make a list of some of the rules you’d like your partner to abide by.
2. Discuss Responsibilities
The BOTH of you should have responsibilities- and actually do them! None of this, “Well I did the dishes yesterday- it’s your turn now!” or “I’m tired, honey. Can’t you just take the trash out?” If you’ve signed up for a responsibility, it’s your job to finish it! You’d hate to end up as one of those couples arguing over who’s going to do the dishes that night, right? Avoid this potential relationship-killer by discussing responsibilities- and making them one hundred percent equal.
3. Set Spacial Boundaries
Everyone needs personal space- especially in the comfort of their own home. Maybe make a special spot in the home where one can go to get some free time? Maybe discuss when and when it’s not appropriate to come into someone’s “personal space”? (Remember that will be very limited after moving in!)
4. You’re Both on the Same Page
Even if you’re not on the same page right off the bat, it’s important to find common ground- whether it’s about what you’re going to spend your hard earned money on or how you’re going to decorate the kitchen. (This is where communication will come in handy!)
5. Make Time for Yourself
Just because you live with your significant other does NOT mean you should completely forget about yourself. Always, always, always find time for yourself and do things that make you feel confident and happy about yourself, whether it’s going to get a massage alone or hanging out with a friend for a couple hours!
What do you think are some important things to consider before moving in with your partner?