What to Do When Your Crush has a Girlfriend

By on January 26, 2015

If you happen to end up with a crush on someone who is already otherwise engaged it’s pretty frustrating. It can also be a difficult situation to handle. How do you deal with it? Below you will find some tips on how to best go about it to save your heart and his!

My Crush Has a Girlfriend

1. Focus On Yourself

He isn’t available at the moment, so rather than spending all your waking hours hanging out with him (when he isn’t with his girlfriend), social media stalking him, or dreaming about him, focus on doing things that will make you feel good. Exercise. Further your career. Give time to your friends. Finally take up that hobby you’ve been talking about. Plan a big trip. Make sure you focus on yourself first.

2. Keep Away from His Girlfriend, Unless You Are Already Friends

If you are not already friends with his girlfriend, try, if possible, to keep a distance. Chances are if they break up you don’t want to be her friend whilst hitting on him.

If you are already friends with his girlfriend you have to evaluate the situation as it is. Is it best to stay friends? Or should you back away, just a little, until the crush is over, or they’ve broken up? If you choose to back away do so nicely. Don’t just one day stop calling, but rather fill your schedule with other things and still see her sometimes. You don’t want to make her sad in the process.

If you are really good friends that have always been totally honest with each other, then you may be able to share how you feel, but this depends on your friendship and her personality.

3. Stay Friends with Him

You don’t want to eliminate the guy entirely from your life, you just want to make sure he’s no longer the focus of it. Should they one day break up and you still feel the same way you do now, you want to be able to call him.

4. If He’s Flirting With You, Then Put an End to It

If the guy I generally flirtatious and every girl he talks to thinks he is flirting with them, then chances are he means nothing with his flirting. If, on the other hand, you have the distinct impression he actually wants to be with you, you have to either tell him to end it with his girlfriend if he wants to continue flirting with you, or he has to stop flirting. If he’s flirting but you don’t think he means much by it, he just enjoys it, then don’t buy into it and don’t flirt back.

The thing is, it may be tempting to keep flirting with him, but he’s still with someone else. His main priority is not you. And if he dumps her for you after first spending weeks having an affair with you, how reliable is he? Don’t let it get to that. If he attempts more than flirting tell him he first has to sort his things out with his current girlfriend before he gets it going with you. If he can’t take responsibility in his relationship with her, he won’t take responsibility in his relationship with you.

5. Date Others

Get your social life busy and look around for other opportunities. Join the online dating scene if you want to (but keep it safe). When you first start out dating others it may not feel right as you have feelings for someone else, but let’s face it: if Mr Not Single was The One, he would love you back. You can’t sit around and wait for him. Go out. Have fun. See what happens. It might take some time till you fall for someone else, but at least look around.

6. Remember the Guy You Adored in First Grade

Chances are you’ve been in love before and it ended. Most of us have had more than one crush in our life time. This proves that at some point, when you are ready, you will move on.

7. Don’t Compare Yourself to His Girlfriend

Maybe she’s terrible. Maybe she’s gorgeous. It doesn’t matter. You are looking for someone who loves you for who you are. If he’s with someone who’s terrible it shows he has some issues. If he’s with someone great, then know that there will be someone who finds you great. Love is not about all those people who won’t fall in love with us. Love is about that one person who will. Your best chance of finding that person is living a fulfilled life where you enjoy yourself and find the beauty in being you. Some people spend their entire life thinking about getting rid of their wrinkles, when they could just be laughing. Focus on what it is you love and forget the rest.

If you try to be someone else you are always going to be second best compared to the original. Be the best you and people who love that kind of personality will be drawn to you like moths to a flame.

8. If He Tells You Stories of How Horrid His Girlfriend Is Then You Must…

If he says his girlfriend is crazy, he really wants to leave her, etc., etc. then listen and tell him that if she is so horrible then he is doing himself a disfavor being with her, as well as doing her a disfavor. She needs love as much as the next person. If he can’t provide it, he should step away, or learn to love her for who she is.

Don’t allow him to have a pity party – tell him to sort his life out. A lot of guys, especially married ones, tell you how terrible their lives are and expect you to add something great to it, without them leaving their partners. Well, you need something great too. You need someone dedicated to you, and not to their so-called crazy girlfriend.

If he tries something on tell him that once he’s sorted his life out, he can come back.

9. See Yourself as Number One

You are looking for the one person who sees you as great. Never think you are number two just because one out of billions of men doesn’t want to date you. Find your inner spark and go out there and be great.

10. Remember There Is a Tomorrow 

Unrequited love sucks. There’s really no other way to put it. Instead of despairing though, remember the old cliche that after rain comes sunshine. It’s not just a cliche – it’s true. Watch The Holiday and learn what the women in that movie learnt – there’s better than second best. There is number one.

Image source: Pinterest

1507760_10152392614860079_8379465670289960282_n copy 2By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery

137 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Cheryl

    May 17, 2016 at 6:24 am

    He is a trainee in our office. I had a crush on him since the first day I knew him. As time passed, our relationship becqme better. That was what I hoped for when i first knew him. I wanted to ask him out for dinner so much but I was too scared. Finally chance came and we continuously went for several outings and I am treating him extraordinarily good. We texted quite often and I visited him when he was sick, helped him in whatever way I can. I knew that he has a gf from another female trainee but he has never mention about her. He seldom mention about his gf to me and once we talked a while about her and it seemed like it is not very committed relationship. We have so many interests and likings in common that makes me like him even more. Lately, his gf came to visit him. He is from Germany and I am Asian. His gf will stay for a month, and I feel awful but I am glad that he did not introduce his gf to me until now. I hope he will never. He is leaving Asia in August. Shall I express my feeling to him? I know he might see me as a good friend and nothing much but I just feel like letting him know that I like him. I think he might be able to sense that I like him too but he didn’t avoid me. Can I tell him my feeling? I didn’t expect anything in return. Just want him to know and makes me feel better.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 17, 2016 at 9:01 am

      If he is leaving in August, then you may as well express your feelings. If he turns out to feel the same way, it could make him stay in Asia. If it turns out that he does not feel the same way, then you only have to deal with the awkwardness until August. If you do not say anything now, you may end up regretting that you never took the risk. Go ahead and just tell him how he feels. He will probably turn you down because he has a girlfriend, but you never know. Good luck, Cheryl!

  2. Avatar

    maria m

    May 16, 2016 at 5:31 pm

    ok so there is this boy i have for lunch and he has a girlfriend. we don’t know each other but i know a few things about him. But the thing is today he was with his girlfriend in lunch but he kept on looking at me (even if i stood up or moved)and i told my friend and she saw how much he kept looking at me so i don’t know if he likes me and honestly it was like really awkward but i still liked it
    PLEASE HELP ME MY FEELING ARE SO CONFUSED!!!!

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 17, 2016 at 8:19 am

      It seems like you have commented twice on this one. I have to answer and approve each comment manually, so it can sometimes take a little while to appear. If you do not see your comment right away, do not panic because you will. Read through my first response and let me know if you have any other questions. Thanks for commenting!

  3. Avatar

    maria m

    May 16, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    so i have this crush on this boy but he has a girlfriend but today in lunch while he was sitting with his girlfriend he kept looking at me if i moved or even if i stood up an it wasn’t like a quick glance like he always does it last for like a very long time . ithink its creepy but at the same time i really like it

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 17, 2016 at 8:12 am

      It sounds like he could like you, or he is at least attracted to you. Considering your crush has a girlfriend though, there is nothing that you can do about it right now. You can talk to him or become friends, but don’t do anything more until he is single again. Good luck, Maria M.!

  4. Avatar

    Riley

    May 12, 2016 at 7:05 pm

    I’m in love with my guy best friend (he’s my internet friend but I’ve meet him many times before. He lives an hour away from me) that I’ve known for a year in a half already. I tell him things I don’t tell other people and he’s just always here for me. He’s sweet and has a kind heart. He always tells me that he will never leave when I’m having bad days. And I confessed I had feeling for him in the past but he said he didn’t feel the same way.. I cried for two hours. He then starts sending me text messages like he was flirting with me. And I asked again after months and months of talking to him. I cried for four hours straight because he told me he didn’t feel the same way. It was just so confusing, he acted like he liked me but I started to question the past messages. A couple of months ago he told me he liked this girl at his new school and I cried a couple of tears but I was in the process of moving on. I said I didn’t want to know because I was in the process of healing still and I could break again. He understood and said he wasn’t much of a dating type anyways. Again months past. Well two days ago, I was talking to the girl he use to like before the girl he likes now and she told me that he is dating the girl he told me about. And that the guy I like/liked is changing a lot at school. I was hurt but I don’t know if I’m hurt about him dating or hurt that I had to find out through the girl he use to like. But it’s my fault I guess. I regret saying it but would you blame me? I felt disappointed if anything. I felt like maybe we weren’t as close as I thought we were.. And now I don’t know what to do. I told him I knew about his gf yesterday and he thought of it as no big deal. And that kind of hurt, we talked about it but he isn’t texting me as much as he use to before all this happened. And I’m started to act depressed at school. This is why it’s hard liking your best friend. I hope this made sense they’re is more but it’s hard to explain with words. I want the guy I like to not have a gf I think the gf made a hole in are friendship and I’m upset.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 14, 2016 at 9:55 am

      All you can do at this point is move on. He was there for you when you needed him and was a good friend, but it does not seem like he wants to be with you as anything more than just a friend. While this is difficult to handle, you will be able to heal over time. All you can do right now is focus on your own life, try to forget about your feelings and move on. Best of luck!

  5. Avatar

    Maysa.eljbaili

    May 8, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    I have dreams about a boy but he doesn’t no but he has a girlfriend

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 9, 2016 at 8:07 am

      The dreams just show that you like him or are attracted to him. As long as he has a girlfriend, you will not be able to find out if he likes you in real life or ask him out. All you can do at the moment is wait and hope that they break up sooner rather than later. Good luck!

      • Avatar

        AJay

        May 14, 2016 at 7:03 am

        My problem is is that my friend has a gf.

        • web admin

          web admin

          May 14, 2016 at 9:15 am

          Then all you can do is wait and hope that they break up sooner rather than later. You do not want to be the other woman or cause drama between them. Until their relationship ends, all you can do is stay friends with him and hope that they end up breaking up. In the meantime, you can always focus on yourself or date around until he is single again. Best of luck, Ajay!

      • Avatar

        AJay

        May 14, 2016 at 7:15 am

        My problem is that my friend has a gf. But he has a crush on me and I do 2. I said that I’m not going to get in the way of their relationship. He says that he is loyal to her and won’t get in a affair with me. I felt relieved because I don’t like 2 ruin couple’s relationships. And I especially don’t want 2 b the other ‘woman’. If their relationship is not working out then maybe. But right now I’m just gonna be a good friend who respects his decisions. And I thank you for helping me out? truly thank you.

        • Avatar

          AJay

          May 14, 2016 at 7:34 am

          Also another thing that bothers me is that we r both freshman in high school. And he’s dating a senior. But I guess I can’t judge I mean relationships come in all shapes and sizes.? But anyway I’ll just keep on being friends with him anyway. After all U can’t avoid the people U know and love??.

          • web admin

            web admin

            May 14, 2016 at 11:07 am

            That’s true. All you can do is be friends right now and hope that he ends up being single before long. When his senior girlfriend graduates, you may finally get your chance though. While she will probably be around to date him in the summer, there is an excellent chance that they will break up when she leaves for college or starts working. If she goes to college, the distance will make a relationship difficult and inconvenient. And if she starts working, she will soon be at an entirely different place in her life and may no longer want to be with him. All you have to do is hold out until she graduates and hope that are like the majority of high school sweethearts who leave for different places. Good luck, Ajay!

        • web admin

          web admin

          May 14, 2016 at 9:16 am

          It looks like you are somewhat lucky–your crush likes you back! The bad news, of course, is that you guys will never get to be together until his relationship ends. All you can do is wait and hope that he ends up being single soon. Waiting will not be easy, but you can always date other guys to see if you find someone that suits you better. Good luck!

  6. Avatar

    Anonymous

    May 1, 2016 at 10:43 pm

    Thank you for the advices.
    I have a crush who has a gf. I know he has a gf long before I had a feeling into him. I saw his fb and saw his profile pic where he was smiling with his gf and I was like “ahh so she is his gf” but I didn’t really know him before so who cares. Then, suddenly, we’re getting closer and closer. He came after me and wanted to be my friend but it was so normal. Later on, he gave me his number and told me if I need help he would help me. He’s my senior in college. Then, we’re texting each other every day and night. Everyday. Morning to late midnight. He’s obviously flirts with me and show his cares to me. He’d say things like he’s worrying about me if I didn’t reply his text soon. And then the feeling got deeper and deeper and without knowing, I can’t care less about him. I like him and wan’t to be near him as long as I can. But yeah, he still has gf and their relationship seems good. Even their parents are a good friend with each other.. Also, we’ve done lots of dinner together just two of us and hanging out together.. Now I confused.. Should I stop? Cause it’s hard for me to listen his story with his gf 🙁

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 8, 2016 at 7:18 pm

      It would probably be better if you stopped–if you have to, explain how you feel. It might be awkward, but it is better than putting yourself through the emotional strain of liking someone who cannot like you back. It does sound like he likes you, but the fact that he is still with his girlfriend means that nothing can happen. While he seems like a nice enough guy and is not trying to cheat, it would be unfair to him to continue to hang out with him because it would increase the chances that he would give in to temptation. Just let him know that you have a bit of a crush on him and want to talk less for a hile (otherwise, he will worry). With any luck, he will break up with his girlfriend sooner rather than later. Good luck!

    • Avatar

      Maysa.eljbaili

      May 8, 2016 at 8:51 pm

      Your so right

      • web admin

        web admin

        May 9, 2016 at 8:05 am

        🙂

    • Avatar

      Riley T.

      May 12, 2016 at 6:41 pm

      Maybe just tell him how you feel? ):

      • web admin

        web admin

        May 14, 2016 at 9:04 am

        That sounds like excellent advice–I am sure that Anonymous appreciates it, Riley T.! Thanks for commenting! 🙂

  7. Avatar

    Raphaela

    March 27, 2016 at 1:26 am

    I never realized how much i liked him until I saw through net that he had a gf. I do not know how am I suppose to feel ,coz i am also in a relationshp. I dont know but everytime I am feeling sad and alone’, he is the one I am dreading of. I am in an LDRelationshp. I love my bf but i am not happy., you will never understand.. The worst thng i dont like about him is when he always hide thngs about himself. and his family likes another girl for him. He said he will never leave me. , but I am so afraid everyday.. that one day he cant stand for us anymore .,and I will be the one who was just left bhnd.
    His family is wealthy., and mine was not.
    He cant reply to my messages immediately,,unlike when we are still in our first months of being a couple. Everythngs changed. I know he loves me.. but i am not sure how much.
    Then I saw this photos of my crush with his gf. I do not know if i got jealous or what., but I have also pics like that with my bf. ,but,, my bf doesnt like it to be posted publicly.. Its just ok ..but Its just another thng to thnk about.. I saw my bfs photo with her ex .. we fight a lot of times because of that ..I got tired of thngs like that.
    I wish I was my crush’s gf.
    Now I do not know how to deal with ths. Because I want to just let go.. wherever and whatever decision I will make.. I will get hurt.
    Now please tell me what to to.

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 28, 2016 at 3:13 pm

      If you are not happy in your current relationship, are constantly worried that he will leave you and he hides things about himself, why are you still in the relationship? You already found someone that you may like, and there are plenty of other guys out there. If you stay in an unhappy relationship for longer, it will only make it harder for you to leave. Your crush is taken, so you should not hit on him or make a move, but that does not stop you from just being single and moving on from your last relationship. Someone always gets hurt in relationships, even successful ones, so don’t let that stop you from making your decision. It is easier for you to break up with your boyfriend sooner rather than later. Afterward, you can spend a few months healing and reconsidering what you want in a relationship before you start dating again. Good luck!

      • Avatar

        Raphaela

        April 2, 2016 at 1:32 am

        Maybe because I love him.. we have a lot of fights but we overcome it. We have sacrificed a lot in this relationship. I am not happy..maybe because we cannot be together. When I thnk about it deeper.,it only turns out like a dramatic lovestory. I wish I was too strong to do such things’..
        I didnt even know how our relationshp survives without having trust on him.
        a long story…but

        He’s ok for me.. I am so afraid.
        In our almost 3year rlationshp, he had sacrifice so much in terms of his effort going in our house ..he is sweet sending me gifts flowers and others.. I also send him gifts every month.
        We only get to see each other.,one to two days in a month.. sometimes after 3 months.
        He lives near in the city and i am at the urban side. 2 to 3 hours to go there..
        The distance ..the time .wasnt really perfect.

        and..I always thnk about ths issue about..
        his ex..she was their family friend.

        I dont know why when they have a family gathering or outing., her ex was always with them.
        He just told me that it was his 2 sisters who called her to join them..
        What hurts me is that he never told me about that. I just saw their pictures tagged with her ex.
        What hurts even more … is he did this again after a year
        Using another account..
        I saw his picture posted by her ex tagged with her sister.
        This was the reason..why I decided to broke up with him..
        He was so sorry.. and he told me that if I am going to break up with him.. then he’s not because he love me so much.

        I was so confuse.
        and this issue about not havin a relationshp status or any pics posted in social media for almst 3 years..is… idk.
        he told me that he doesnt like anyone to talk behnd us..or judge us.. he doesnt like people to talk and gossip about us,,,reasons like that..
        its just ok but.. sometimes I keep on thnking about it.

        another is that i dont thnk his family will like me.
        and oh. I already met his mom..her 1 sister and grandma.
        They didnt talk to me.. the setting was in a restaurant(not formal) we went there late .. because of me. We are not ok at that time..(he didnt like to tell me if he will visit me.. I will just rceive a message or call..and he will tell get ready we’ll go somewhere)I have no idea that I will meet them that day. I was shocked… but its okay.. I..greet them. smile..but his mother got angry bcause we are late…then we sat and eat in another table coz there’s no available space… so that’s it…and one thng I noticed and feel is that her sister doesnt like me..
        my bf and her are talking wth their eyes..

        thats it..
        Do you think is it good to just hold on in our relationship?
        We are ok for now.. I thnk.. but I am not sure what’s going to happen next.

        I told him about his family and he said ,they are not the one who will choose and decide for me . I chose you because I love you

        • web admin

          web admin

          April 3, 2016 at 7:41 am

          It is up to you what you do next. He could be telling the truth and his sisters are the ones who keep inviting his ex-girlfriend. It is weird though that you guys are in the same city, and he can only see you once every month–and he does not change his relationship status online. You have been with him for a long time now, so this may be a good time to rethink the relationship. If it does not seem like the relationship is going anywhere, it may be better to get out know before you waste more years on a relationship that does not work. If you think that it will work and he is being honest about all his reasons, then stay in the relationship. What you do now is up to you and can only be decided by you. Good luck!

  8. Avatar

    Lisa

    March 5, 2016 at 6:09 am

    There’s this boy in my class. I really like him but he has a thing going on with this one girl. We used to be friends. But I told one of my friends that I like him and now the whole school knows. Then everyone started to make up stories about us. Now our whole friendship is ruined. I really miss how we talked and laughed together. Can you please give me advice??

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 6, 2016 at 11:28 am

      Whenever you are around, try to just treat him like you used to and ignore what the other people say. Although gossip and rumors may continue for a bit, everyone will get bored sooner or later. When this happens, you will be able to return to your friendship and just get on with your life. Be patient and things will get better. Good luck, Lisa!

  9. Avatar

    Sparkles

    March 1, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    Okay so there’s this guy I like and he’s my crush we have classes together we text each other like a lot of Mia told me that I might have snapchat and Instagram and stuff more than his girlfriend is and we’re best friends but he has a girlfriend and he’s always talking about his girlfriend and he always says how she’s the best and they’ve been together for I think almost a year now but sometimes I can catch him staring at me and I feel like he flirts with me sometimes but I don’t know what to do I’m so confused he’s sending me so many mixed messages so what do I do if you can help me

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 1, 2016 at 4:36 pm

      If he has a girlfriend, then there is nothing that you can or should do about it. He may be flirting with you, but you cannot make a move until he is single. In the meantime, focus on other parts of your life, date around and see where things go. Best of luck, Sparkles!

  10. Avatar

    Jamie

    March 1, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    So I like this guy but he has a gf and I found that out after we were friends for a while but I feel like we have a connection because we have a lot of things in common and sometimes I can catch him staring at me and I feel Like he flirts with me sometimes but I cant tell sometimes and he and his gf have been dating for almost a year now and I don’t know what to do anymore

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 1, 2016 at 4:35 pm

      It is entirely possible that he is attracted to you and likes you, and he just cannot do anything about it now. Since he is in a relationship, you have to respect that fact. If you were to get him to break up with her for you, you would never know if he could just repeat this betrayal with you in the future. For the moment, there is nothing that you can do other than stay friends with him. With any luck, his relationship will end before long and you will get your chance. Other than be friends with him, go ahead and enjoy your life. You never know when he will be single again, so there is no point in you wasting all of your time waiting around. If you find someone else that you like or just want to play the field for a bit, go ahead and do it. Good luck, Jamie!

  11. Avatar

    Fatima

    February 28, 2016 at 7:51 pm

    hey, well there’s this boy at my school that kinda has a crush on me or actually he does have a crush on me. I kinda like him back. However, I only just found out he had a gf and he never told me anything. Him and I have so much in common and I know his the right guy, but I try to ingnore him and I’m just too scared to talk to him about it because we aren’t dating so.. and I don’t want our friendship to become awkward.

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 1, 2016 at 9:20 am

      If you keep ignoring him, then he will assume that you are not interested. At the same time, you do not want to act like anything more than friends. He is in a relationship, so you have to respect that fact. He may have avoided telling you about the girlfriend because he likes you and did not want to scare you away. Right now, focus on being friends with him. Then, if his relationship ends, you will be in a good position to flirt with him or ask him out. Good luck, Fatima!

  12. Avatar

    Anna

    January 29, 2016 at 10:00 pm

    So I have a crush on this guy.. He doesn’t have a girlfriend necessarily but he has a thing going on with this girl that everyone knows about. I know that he likes me or used to like me. When I was with my previous boyfriend he had wanted to take me to homecoming but of course I was already going with my boyfriend but now that we broke up, I’ve been thinking so much about him.. I catch him lookin at me at class. I had previously texted him asking for help on homework hoping to make conversation but it was pretty much petty. A couple of weeks later, he texted me asking a question that I know we both knew the answer to. He made good conversation and we texted for two days but that’s it. I still catch him looking at me in class but I don’t know what to do. Please help!!

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 6, 2016 at 7:56 am

      He may be trying to catch your attention by looking at you and asking a question that you already know the answer to. Nothing is for sure yet though, and the fact that he has a girlfriend-ish may be causing him to hold back while he figures out things with her. I would keep talking and flirting with him when you get the chance. Hopefully, he will show his true feelings before long so that you do not have to wait to find out what could be possible.

  13. Avatar

    tori

    January 28, 2016 at 11:35 am

    this guy i like has a girlfriend but he tells me that he likes me but he flirts with me. but yesterday on the 27 of 2016 he took me out and we talked about other things like our selves and etc. but now today the 28 of 2016 his girlfriend found out and now they are not talking and i just feel like i am being put in between of drama . what should i do what should i tell him

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 29, 2016 at 6:47 pm

      I think that you should take a step back and not do anything. If he tries to talk to you again, tell him that you do not want to get in the way of his relationship, so you want to stop talking to him until he is single. In addition to being the right thing to do (although you came to it a bit late in the game), it may also catalyze his decision to break up with her. If he realizes he cannot flirt with you and be with her at once, he will stop leading both of you on. Be careful though–if he is the type of guy who will flirt with another girl and tell another girl he likes her while he is in a relationship, he will probably do it again. While it may be difficult to be in your situation now, being the hurt girlfriend in the future will be far, far worse.

  14. Avatar

    Erin

    January 19, 2016 at 1:03 pm

    I’ve had a crush on the same guy for more than three years, and we flirt on and off repeatedly. We’re both into the performing arts, and we even were “prom dates” in a production together. And I think we both felt something when we were.

    I knew he didn’t have a girlfriend from overhearing him saying so earlier this year, and I was almost convinced that he’d ask me out eventually. But now all of a sudden he has a girlfriend? She’s also the kind of girl who I never thought he’d want to be with.

    I’ve seen how they act around each other, and they never really interact physically. Maybe that’s just how they are, but I feel like it’s not genuine.

    Any advice on what I should do?

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 21, 2016 at 9:23 am

      For the moment, stay friends and don’t do anything. You need to respect his relationship, but you also want to remain friends with him so that you can swoop in when he is single again. It seems like his ideal woman in his mind may not match up with his actual ideal. Hopefully, he will figure out by dating her that he is not going after the right match and needs to change what he expects in a relationship. Good luck, Erin!

  15. Avatar

    Anonymous

    January 18, 2016 at 11:14 pm

    So I have aBout 4 months at the place where I am currently working. The guy who I have a huge crush on right now started 3 days after I did. I knew he had a girlfriend because someone at work had mentioned it. Anywho at 1st I just thought he was a cute super energetic guy and i didnt think much of it. He gets along with everyone and lIkes to joke around. We started talking and apparently we had gone to the same school since elementary school, which I didn’t even realize until he said he remembered me from school. He’s a year older than me and his girlfriend is my age and went to school with me as well and we happed to have the same name except mine is spelled differently.. at first he mentioned his girlfriend a lot but doesn’t that much anymore. We joke around a lot together and he sings silly songs about me sometimes. During new years day we got to work by our selves for a bit and he gave me a new years hug. He helps me out a lot at work and we’ve had lunch together a couple of times. He even asked me if I had a boyfriend in which I got all nervous and just said “maybe, why?”.. He seems to care about me and he really likes to make me smile and laugh. I’m not sure if he’s just a flirt or maybe his niceness is coming out as flirting to me. Or maybe he’s come to really like me as a good friend and I’m the one making it more than that. He’s a really great guy who’d I really like to be friends with a long time but my god every time I see him I fall more for him. I even try to be more serious sometimes so it’s not noticeable but when I have to talk to him my face automatically smiles and I can’t hold it back. I really don’t wanna make it awkward that he won’t talk to me later because some weird Co worker has a thing for him. I’ve never had such strong feelings for a guy before so I’m not really sure what to do.

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 20, 2016 at 4:57 pm

      He could be super friendly and flirty, or he could like you. It seems rather up in the air at the moment. What you do at this point is entirely up to you. If you remain friends with him and he does like you, he will hopefully just take the risk and ask you out at some point. If he is not interested, you may need to give yourself a bit of space so that you do not remain so head-over-heels in love with him. Good luck!

  16. Avatar

    Ashley

    January 5, 2016 at 11:26 pm

    Can you please give me an advice? I have just known this guy through my sister for just a few weeks, at first, I just thought of him as a little brother, because he is younger than me for 6 years, and he acts totally like a kid that like to be spoiled by me. He acts cutely toward me, and I loves to rub his head, pinch his cheek for being so cute.

    He also has a gf that he is deeply in love with, his gf is also my new friend, and she is really nice and cute. He talks to me a lot about his relationship and asks for my advices. He is very shy around stranger, but he says he is so comfortable around me, after just hung out with me only 2-3 times, he tells me things that he does not even say to his gf. Even my sister said he talk with me so much, a little bit weird for his shy personality. I have just realized that I paid attention to him more than I should, but I still think maybe because we have so many things in common.

    Last weekend, his gf went back to her hometown, and we hung out at his place to watch horror movie. My sister and her bf got drunk so they slept first on the floor, two of us lied near each other on the bed to watch movie together, we both are scare of horror movie so we yelled and sticked very closed to each other, we had so much fun. We decided to go to sleep and each of us lie at the two corners of the bed (king size).

    Next morning, both of us was woken up by the text from his gf, after he looks at his phone, we looked at each other for a few second, and I turned my back to him and ready to sleep again, then he just got close to me and hugged me from behind, because we hug each other all the time so I did not think of anything, but then when he started to touch me in a way of a bf with a gf, I began to panic, because I think that maybe he had not fully woken yet and thought that I was his gf, I turned around and looked at him, and I saw he looked at me too but he still continued to touch me. I turned around and hold his shoulder and said “K…., wake up, it is me, not S…” and he got embarrassed and jump the other side and said please don’t say anything to his gf. I felt that if I continue to keep quiet, we will be very awkward when we meet each other again, so I said it is no big deal and I hugged him from behind. After that we went back to sleep at the 2 corners of the bed.

    When we woke up the second time, I talked to him when I got a chance, I asked him if he missed his gf so much that he mistook me as his gf, he said no, he never touched her that way, and he said he did not know what came over him to make him do that, he said sorry. He is so honest that he makes me surprised and I said I thought nothing of it. And we decided to watch movie again, this time he hold my hands, when his gf came back, after hugging her and flirt with her, I said you guys have fun, I wanted to finish the movie, he followed me, lied next to me and hold on my shoulder in front of his gf. I feel so awkward and guilty, so I stood up and walked out of the bedroom with the excuse to let his gf rest.

    We turned back to normal, but at the same time, I realized that I have a crush on him without knowing it. Now everything makes sense to me, when he touches me, I feel so intense and when he pays attention to me, I feel so happy and I feel lonely when he flirt with his gf. I can control myself when I am sober, but when I got drunk I always hug him and try to get closer to him. I want to kiss him, hug him and want him for myself.

    I just feel so confused with his attitude, after that incident, I saw he looks at me more, like when others tell jokes, he will turn around to look at me and my reaction. I try to ignore everything, and try to detach myself from him, it is hard but his gf is my sister good friend, and I like her a lot too. I know he loves his gf a lot, they can never be away from each other, he missed her a lot when she is not besides him. They even planned for their future. He is a very loyal person, I heard that his ex cheating on him, and even when they are breaking up, he still wait for her and love her for more than 1 year, when his ex dating around with a lot of guys. Then why did he do those stuffs to me? If nothing happen that night, I will not realize my feeling, will not feel confused with everything now, and will not feel so sad. Can you please explain to me his action?

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 6, 2016 at 8:19 pm

      I think that you should try to put aside these feelings for now. If you do anything with him, you will feel guilty and it will cause a lot of bad feelings. Your sister and her friend would both end up getting extremely hurt. Plus, you will never be able to trust that he won’t do the same thing with you. He should not have made a move. If he felt attracted to you, he should have avoided being in a situation like the bed with you so that he would not be tempted. It is rather unethical for him to try to pursue a physical connection with you when he is planning a future with his girlfriend, and his actions do not make him see particularly loyal. As long as he is in a relationship, you should remain just friends and try to put your feelings aside. Otherwise, it seems unlikely that anything good will come of this.

  17. Avatar

    Keish

    December 18, 2015 at 7:45 pm

    So Im in a situation where my guy best friend who ive known for 10 yrs & shared many memories with… Recently just engaged his new “fiance”. Before all of this happened I noticed myself becoming very attracted to him. This guy is like 3 yrs younger than me. I find him to be a total dork. But I love everything about him. Hes a male version of me. When we spend time together I feel like im on cloud 9. I completely fog out everything around me & cherish his presence. When him & I spend time with our friends he never talks or even mentions his fiance. She calls him & he ignores her. He likes to joke around about me with our friends & likes to put me on the spot. He loves to stare @ me or find a way to get me to be close to him. There is never a way of avoiding him. Since we go to church together. I see him a lot during the week. But I feel hes confused about what he really wants. Or knows that since he engaged his gfriend he cant undo it & hes trying to still keep me close. I dnt want to just be his friend. I wish he would come clean about how he feels or what he really wants. But he seems to shy & afraid too. Is all of this just me seeing all of this, this way or is he really trying to tell me something? What do I need to do?! Would it be safe to talk to him about it. Or would it ultimately ruin our friendship if I bring up anything about my feelings for him?!

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 21, 2015 at 4:39 pm

      Since he is engaged and in a relationship, you should respect that and not do anything. Plus, you would risk losing your friendship if you told him how you feel while he is engaged and he does not feel the same way. If he ever brings his relationship up, you can always ask him if he is ready and mention that he has until the wedding to decide for sure. During an engagement is the last time that the couple should reconsider their relationship, so it would be his last chance to decide what he really wants before he gets married. Even if the wedding, catering and the ring have already been paid for, it is still cheaper in the long run than a divorce. Good luck, Keish–I hope that everything works out for you.

  18. Avatar

    Destiny

    December 14, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    I met this guy at my work and he was amazing, really nice and had a great smile. One day I found out he that he goes to the same school as me and he would always bring up that he remembers the day he found out we went to the same school. One day he said “thanks attractive.” My friend told me it was clear he liked me and I was going to make a move but then the next day I saw him holding hands with a girl that looks like a goddess. I just can’t get over the way he would look at me when we at work and all the times he would glance at me/look at me at school when I passed him in the hallways.

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 17, 2015 at 12:15 am

      It sounds like he did like you–at least, he did all of the things that someone normally does when they are interested. It is possible that the other girl is just a friend or a date. There is also a chance that he liked both of you, and he or she ended up making a move before you could make a move on him. You could always ask him if the girl that you saw was his girlfriend. If he says no, then you still have a chance! Also, do not be intimidated by the way she looks. Although she looks like a goddess to you, there is no guarantee that she is actually his type and you are probably underestimating how beautiful you are. See if he is actually dating her and make a move. Good luck, Destiny–I hope that everything works out for you!

  19. Avatar

    Adrian

    December 1, 2015 at 6:32 pm

    I have this bad karma I swear …. So last December me and this guy was talking and I didn’t pay enough attention to him at all because I didn’t have feelings so summer came he has a long distance girlfriend who he never meet but they FaceTime 24/7. Well he always hits me up blah blah blah and one time I got drunk and we end up having sex I am regretting so bad that I was ignoring him this whole entire time and now he’s with a girl. But one thing I found it weird when he told me he will blocked me on snapchat and I told him to do it but he wouldn’t because it was childish.

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 3, 2015 at 5:11 pm

      It sounds like you may have to just move on. He did not block you because he found it to be immature, and he may want to keep that door open just in case. For the moment and probably for the next few months or years, it does not seem like he plans on dating you. He is also in a relationship now, so it would not be a good time to make a move (if that is what you were considering). If I were in your place, I would focus on moving on and finding someone who is more available to be with. Good luck, Adrian!

  20. Avatar

    michelle

    November 30, 2015 at 4:50 am

    Okay, I have a crush on my coworker/boss (he’s 3 years older than me), but he has a girlfriend and he told me himself. He’s a super nice guy and super hot too. I am not the one that wants to flirt or like a guy with a girlfriend, but apparently, my best friend told me that I’m a natural flirt without knowing it (I’m a Sagittarius) and he’s a Gemini (which he is a big flirt). We both flirt to a lot of people and coworkers (who told me that we look good together and they see the interested feelings between the both of us), but in reality, we are just being really friendly. He’s an awesome friend and I got to know him past all his looks and everything unlike everyone else who likes him because of his looks. Since he’s my coworker and I practically see him all the time until March when I’m going to be too busy with school to worry about this, my question is how to get over my feelings even though I see him all the time. The last time I had a big crush was in high school for 3 years. I want to still be a really good friends, but at the same time, I can’t be the same area with him because of my feelings. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 30, 2015 at 9:26 pm

      Getting over your feelings is easier said than done. All you can do is try your best to ignore these feelings and minimize flirting with him. Other than that, I do not know of anything else that would work. Perhaps if you started dating someone else or developed a crush on someone else, it would help you out a bit. Try not to focus on him as anything other than just a friend, and don’t let yourself think of him romantically. It will not be easy, but hopefully it will help you out a little bit.

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