My Boyfriend hates me what should i do?
We all end up in tiffs with those closest to us, such as family, friends and boyfriends. Sometimes we are to blame, sometimes they are. The important thing is to figure out what happened and how to resolve it. Below you will find some reasons why your boyfriend might have come to hate you for certain things (though he still loves you for others or he wouldn’t be with you) and what you can do about it.
You Keep Talking about Your Ex
Maybe you broke up with someone else recently and is still processing it. Maybe you have a tendency to compare the now with the “then” without even realizing it. Maybe you have a great relationship with your ex and still talk to him on the phone every day as his friend.
Whatever it may be, if you bring up your ex, your current boyfriend can start feeling inferior to him. Whilst you don’t see it that way and therefore don’t understand why your boyfriend is upset, try to refrain from talking about your ex for a while. Also make it clear that whilst you might still be processing a past relationships, or be friends with your ex, it’s not him you want. You want the man standing right in front of you.
You Keep Putting Him Down
We are all guilty of putting our boyfriend down at some point or another – whether we joke about his poor cooking skills, or compare his abs to those of Chris Hemsworth, there comes a time when we say something offensive, even if it was just in jest. Sometimes we get a habit of doing this too much. Maybe we think we’re just having a laugh. Maybe all the other girlies are joking about their men too in front of them. Maybe you like sarcasm. The truth is still that your man wants to be appreciated. Especially in front of others.
You Take Him for Granted
There was a time when you ran home from work to see your man, came up with exquisite date nights, cooked for him, gave him massages and dressed up from head to toe to try to impress him. Nowadays you have so much on your mind with your career, your social life has exploded, your family needs you and you tend to see your boyfriend a bit here and there when time allows. In other words, you’ve started taking your boyfriend for granted. You love each other, so there’s no need to do anything for the relationship, is there? Of course there is! For anything to be good it has to grow and develop.
You’re Always There
Just as annoying as never being there and taking him for granted, is always being there. He needs time for his hobbies, his friends and his family. Without you there. People need space to be themselves. You fell in love with him for who he was and the life he led, so don’t try to take that away from him by being everywhere. He needs time to miss you.
You Control Everything
You book his dentist appointments, you make sure he remembers his mother’s birthday, you choose his clothes for work, you insist his birthday is celebrated the way you want it to be celebrated and you pick the furniture at home. The only thing is, he’s an individual. If you remove the individual there’s nothing left. Sooner or later he will likely come to hate you for it as well, as people want to be loved for who they are, not who you want them to be.
You Don’t Need Him
As couples we should complement each other; help balance each other. However, some women have gotten it into their heads that if they show any sign of needing their man to do anything for them, they’re inferior. If they can’t reach the thing on the top shelf, they climb a ladder. If they can’t open something, they use forceps. If their bags are heavy, they get a trolley. If they get scared when watching a horror movie, they turn on the light. Because low and behold they can do that. It’s just, asking someone for help ever so often doesn’t undermine your ability. We get it, you can do anything. That doesn’t mean you have to. Especially if there is someone next to you dying to show his manliness. He wants to give you his jacket when you are cold, even if he knows if you start jogging you will be fine. He wants to hold the door for you, even if he knows you are strong enough to hold it yourself. He wants to show he can do something for you. Even if he knows he doesn’t need to, as you are a strong independent woman, he just wants to spoil you when doing it and feel like you appreciate him for it.
Just let him feel like you need him. A little bit. So that he can feel like he’s actually giving you something more than cuddles.
You Never Praise Him in Bed
Here’s the thing, men think that they need to please you. If they aren’t sure whether they did or didn’t, they don’t know if you are truly happy with them and they start feeling unhappy with themselves. Tell him he’s a sex God. Just do it.
You Flirt with Everyone
If you are the catch, he will be so happy to have gotten you. If you shine when out at parties and men look twice as you go by, because you radiate confidence and warmth, he will feel like such a stud. However, if you invite all the men to flirt with you when out, as opposed to showing him off to the world, well…he won’t be that happy, even if he’s the one you walk home with.
Show him off when you go out. Be proud to have him by your side. The prouder you are, the better he will feel.
He’s Just Grumpy
You feel like your boyfriend hates you, but you don’t know why. You’ve tried all the above – you’re showering him in compliments, you show you need him, you take time out for him (whilst also having time for yourself), you let him run his life, you don’t talk about your ex and in general things seem fine, apart from that grumpiness. So what’s wrong? The best way to find out is to ask him.
You Ignore His Wishes
Whenever you ask what he thinks, you disregard what he says and go ahead with what you were planning to do anyway, without acknowledging his thoughts. You need to learn to compromise ever so often.
You Air Your Relationship with Everyone
If you tell everyone and their dog about your man and exactly what is going on in your relationship, he might end up a bit grumpy unless he’s as open about things as you are.
A relationship requires work and we often do things unintentionally that piss off other people, including our boyfriend. We need to learn to ask, as well as watch how he reacts to us to find out what works and what doesn’t. Communication and relationships, like anything else, is an art. It’s not about pleasing someone constantly, but rather just as saying please and thank you, there are ways of doing things in a manner that’s respectful and where the other person feels appreciated.