My Boyfriend Cheated on Me – Now What?
Cheating is just a terrible thing, isn’t it? And if it’s recently happened to you, you’re probably feeling pretty low about yourself. You’re probably left feeling completely confused and asking the unanswerable question, “Why?” Well, we’re here to help. Your boyfriend cheated on you. NOW WHAT?
1. Don’t React Immediately
Impossible, right? You just find out the man of your dreams has cheated on you, and I am telling you not to react immediately. Seems like something unimaginable, unthinkable, as I’m sure your initial reaction was to yell and scream at him, calling him all sorts of names and maybe throwing his clothes and other essential items out the front door. And that reaction is completely normal. But I’m telling you, you will get MUCH further if you do NOT react immediately. When you find out, take a deep breath and take a step back. If he tells you to your face, tell him you need to step out of the house for a little bit. If he tells you over a text message or phone call, either don’t respond or tell him you’ll call him back.
2. Relax and Take Time for Yourself
I know, it’s terrible to be cheated on. But you need to keep your cool. You don’t want to look like a fool in this situation, and freaking out about this problem certainly won’t make you feel any better. Like I said before, take a deep breath and try to calm down. Yes, you’re probably devastated and overwhelmed with the news, but don’t let this emotional stress get the best of you. KEEP MOVING. Go for a walk, call your best gal pals to come and hang out, or go get a massage and a pedicure.
3. Don’t Rebound Right Away
It’s unfortunate, but a lot of women will decide to jump into the arms of the first guy they see after being cheated on. Not only are they emotionally hurt and seeking some form of comfort, but they think “Why not? He didn’t care about doing it to me, I won’t care about doing it either!”. But ladies, seriously. Don’t do the rebound drama. It will probably make you feel worse in the end, and if you do end up pursuing a ‘relationship’ with this rebound guy, nine times out of ten it won’t last. Save yourself the hassle and (even MORE) hurt by staying away from men for a bit. Flirting is fine, dating and more, is not.
4. Consider Taking Him Back
You’re probably thinking “WHAT?! She can’t be serious!”. But yes, I am actually being serious. (Please don’t punch me through the computer screen).
Listen up: I’m NOT saying that cheating is ever OKAY. I am certainly not saying that anyone ever has a reason to cheat and we should brush it off of our shoulders like it’s no big deal, but there are certain situations where you should consider taking your partner back.
You’ve Been Dating for a Long Time:
Have you guys been dating for a very long time? I’m not taking a month, three months, or even 6 months. I’m talking about at least 1 year or more. If you’ve been seeing each other for quite some time and you’ve made a commitment with each other (promise rings, engagement, moved in together, etc), then you may consider if it’s worth it to forgive and try to work through the problem for the sake of your relationship.
He’s Been Extra Stressed Out:
Has he been going through a considerably hard time? Yes, even through the hardest of times, your man should look to YOU and only YOU for comfort, but sometimes drastic events make us unable to think straight. If there’s been an unimaginable amount of stressful and terrible events racked up in his life and he made a mistake, you might take that into consideration for taking him back.
He Apologized – And Meant It:
It’s easy for someone to say “I’m sorry”. But did he say it, and really mean it? Did he admit that what he did was an unforgivable mistake and he will do literally ANYTHING to win you back? Is he making a genuine effort to not only SAY how sorry he is, but actually showing you too? If he is genuinely apologizing for his actions, you might consider another chance.
It Wasn’t Ongoing:
I think we can all agree that mistakes happen. And yes, cheating is a very BIG mistake that outdoes a multitude of other mistakes. But still, these things happen. If it was NOT an ongoing or emotionally attached cheat, and was only a ridiculous one night stand, you might take him back.
5. Move On
Of course, sometimes it’s best to just move on- even if he did apologize three-hundred and forty-six times. Even if it was just a one time thing and he promised it will never happen again. Even if the two of you were DAYS away from marriage! Sometimes it’s best to just walk away. You have to consider a LOT of different factors.
It Was Not a Good Relationship:
Was the rest of your relationship good? If he never treated you right in the first place and the two of you were always fighting, then at that point I would not recommend getting back together.
You Can’t Trust Him:
It’s obvious that you won’t be able to trust him after he has cheated, but if you’re absolutely, one hundred percent against forgiving him and you will never be able to trust him no matter how hard the two of you try to work things out, then yes, move on.
He’s a Repeat Offender:
Is this guy known for cheating on his women? Then I shouldn’t have to tell you what to do in this situation. (DUMP HIM).
You Weren’t Together Long:
If you were only together for a month or so, then really, no harm done. It was probably a good thing you found out as soon as you did! You may have saved yourself a lot of trouble and heartbreak in the future.
Ladies, always keep a smile on your face and keep a level head when dealing with this situation. Have you ever been cheated on? How did you react, and did you take him back?