How To Start A Conversation With Your Crush

By on January 1, 2014

Yes, starting a conversation with your crush can be absolutely horrifying. Yes, the idea of even saying hello may have your knees weak and your stomach all tied up in knots. Getting the nerve to approach your crush isn’t easy, but that is exactly why we have written this exact article for you.

Getting the confidence to make a move is hard, but quite honestly it’s not as hard as you are probably thinking it is. Whether the guy you’re crushing on is the popular captain of your football team or he is the shy-artsy type who lays low in the back of your English lit class, he is still just a human just like you, right? We are fairly certain he will not bite you just for saying hello to him… At least we hope he won’t anyways! Don’t worry, the following tips are simple, yet effective in helping you start a conversation with your dream guy…


Tip One – Just Relax

I know, I know, I’ve used this tip before many a times and no doubt you’ve heard it many a times too. The thing is, relaxing is the key to owning any social situation. Stand tall, smile and fill yourself with confidence.

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If you don’t believe that you’re amazing and he should date you then why should he? Before you speak to him, remind yourself about all the great things about yourself. What’s great about you? Keep them in mind when you’re talking to him and confidence and relaxation will ooze out of you.

There’s nothing more attractive than a girl who’s sure of herself, remember that.


Tip Two – Use Small-talk

In most scenarios small-talk is just a way of filling the silence (usually the uncomfortable silence) but, when you’re talking to your crush and lost for words, small-talk can be exactly what you need.


Sure, commenting on the weather or his plans for this evening aren’t all that exciting but more often than not they can help get the pair of you better acquainted and hopefully open up the conversation to something more meaningful.


Tip Three – Use Backup

If your crush is with his group of friends and seldom leaves their sides, don’t worry, you do not have to approach him alone. This task can be daunting and, all too often, can put us off the idea of starting a conversation completely.


If you’re nervous, try getting one or two of your friends to tag a long for backup. They can distract his friends while the two of you hopefully hit it off. Just be sure not to overwhelm him if he’s alone, this idea is best practices when he’s in a group.


Tip Four – Let Him Come To You

This one really is a cheat in the game. Only because it is not you starting the conversation, or at least not with your words anyways. If you’re too nervous to even consider walking up to him and making the first move then you can always let him come to you.


Of course, we don’t have a magic wand. This isn’t just going to happen because you want it to so don’t start thinking cheating means you don’t have to do anything. Letting him come to you doesn’t have to be hard however, you just have to find a way to show him you’re interested from afar and, in time, hopefully he’ll saunter over. If you’re in a room together try catching his eye and smiling at him, laugh if you overhear him tell a funny story, twirl your hair when he looks at you. This plan is not fool proof but, if you’re too shy to walk up to him, this is a pretty good place to start.


Tip Five – Use Social Networks

I’m not suggesting you Facebook stalk your crush or anything but, if the pair of you are friends online, liking a post or favouriting a tweet now and again can be a great in. You could comment on something and, the next time you see him in person, you can bring it up giving you an instant conversation. d6ee3267faf01c667e110825a974ba10

Rule one of internet flirting however, don’t be creepy. Don’t like every single one of his posts or share them etc. Keep it casual. He’ll notice you with very minimal effort on your part.


Tip Six- Use Body Language

Using body language is extremely important when it comes to starting a conversation with your crush. How is he going to know you are crushing on him if you don’t act like it? Don’t let him friend-zone you by staying too subtle.


As previously discussed, try to use your eyes solely to speak to him without using your words. Twirl your hair again, give him a few smiles and adjust your body in simple mannerisms to reflect his body language. It is proven that body language helps when it comes to handling relationships, especially ones you are just starting up!


Tip Seven- Write A Note

Maybe you are the type of girl who has trouble finding her words. Do you choke up in social situations? Can’t speak straight sentences due to being nervous? Then this tip is for you! Writing notes may sound like an old-cliche (and it most definitely is!), but it is a cliché for a reason. It works, it’s effective in starting initial conversation with the guy you like.


Try writing out an introduction and explain to him why you have a crush on him. Try not to come on too strong. Don’t over-explain your feelings, you want to leave a little mystery. Keep it subtle enough so that he will either write you back or start a conversation by actually speaking to you.


Tip Eight- Ask For A Favor

Asking someone for a very small favor is a great way to open up any conversation with someone. In example: Asking your extremely hot neighbor if you can borrow a cup of sugar for those cookies you never intend on baking. Another example is asking your crush if he has an extra pencil you could use or a piece of gum to chew.


Do not get carried away in your favor asking. You want to make initial contact, not be a burden, right? After completing the task of asking for a slight favor, introduce yourself and use that small-talk we discussed previously.


Tip Nine- Text Him

It takes just a few simple gusts of confidence to say, “Hey, can I get your number?” If you really cannot find the nerve to do so, that is okay, don’t panic. There’s always the old trick of grabbing it from one of his friends.


You do not want to seem stalker-ish, so if you choose to get his number from someone else, be warned, you must make it clear you are not trying to be a total creeper. You can say something along the lines of , “I know you never gave me your number, but I think you’re too cute so I couldn’t find the guts to ask!” And see where that takes you!


Tip Ten- Use Compliments

The best way to get someone to like you when you first light up a conversation is by complementing something about them. Did you see them reading a great book at one point? Do you like their haircut? Do you think they did a great job on their art project? Whatever it may be that you find yourself liking about them, use it when starting a conversation.


Usually when you complement someone it lets them let their guard down and usually starts everything off on a super positive tone. Doing this will also make your person of interest more inclined to like you at first.


Tip Eleven- Use Current Events

Did something huge happen in the news this week? Did someone at your school or at your work do something crazy lately? Have there been any changes within life around you or your crush as of lately? If so, which we are sure there has to be something you can use, then use whatever it may be to your advantage and make it your conversation starter with the person you like.


If you do not have much to use when it comes to starting a conversation with your crush, you can try out starting some talk with something you have heard about happening lately.


Tip Twelve- Figure Out Your Common Interests

This one may have you doing some serious digging and some heavy observation. Remember: Don’t be totally creepy! We cannot stress that enough. But it is important for you to pay attention to your crush and what he likes, dislikes, what they do for fun, what classes or music they favor. Pick out which of these things you also have interests in.


Once you starting figuring out some of these things, then you can use them to start up a conversation by discussing what you also like and dislike with the person you find yourself swooning for. Try out something like, “Hey I noticed you were reading –insert book here-, I really liked it, too!” Or “Hey I heard you guys talking about insert activity here, I love insert activity again.”


Tip Thirteen- Bring A Treat

As weird as it may sound, sharing food is a great way to open up a canal for conversations. Bring some treats to school or work and share it with your crush. Use food as a crutch. This one is almost cheating, because it requires less confidence and less words. You can buy the treats at a store, but if you really want to get him interested, make them from scratch.


They always say a way to someone’s heart it through their stomach. Give it a shot and see if it gets you where you want to be with that crush of yours.


Tip Fourteen- Make Sure You Feel Good

Yes, we talked about gathering confidence and maintaining the right amount of relaxation, but we forgot to mention that a huge part of doing so is making sure you feel good. What we are trying to say is: If you look good you, you feel good.


Make sure that before starting a conversation with your crush you put on an outfit you feel good but comfortable in. You can also use mouthwash or breath spray to make sure you are not nervous about your breath and try putting on a perfume to gain some confidence in your smell. Wear your favorite heels or dab on your best lipstick and build yourself up before conversing.


Tip Fifteen- Use Flirting

We touched on the topic of using your body language to start a conversation. You are also going to want to keep in mind, once again, that you do not want to be friend-zoned by your crush. To prevent yourself from reaching that unwanted level, not only should you use your body language in your first convo with your crush, you will also want to bring your flirting skills to the max.


Do not come on too strong, keep the flirting minimal, but make him aware of it. Use a small pick up line, keep incorporating complements in your conversation. Try using a flirtatious giggle once in awhile and keep making eye contact with him.

Using these tips will help you start a conversation with your crush in no time!

Comment and let me know how it goes or if you’ve got any experiences to share!


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