How to Keep A Guy Interested
Well, you’ve done it. You’ve gone and snagged your ideal man; the two of you have really hit it off and you’re thinking he may be the one. You’re into him and he’s into you, and now the only thing left to do is keep him on the line indefinitely. As any savvy lady knows, this isn’t always as easy as it sounds. Somehow, the shine always seems to wear off of every relationship and when it does you may be left wondering how to keep a great guy from losing interest in the greatest woman on earth.
Let’s face it, deep down, all guys are looking for a woman that not only floats their boat but also keeps them coming back for more. Here are 20 ways that any woman can use to keep her man coming back again and again, without fail.
1.) Be YOU.
The first thing you need to do is be true to yourself. Remember, he fell in love with YOU. So, be the girl he fell head over heels for. Don’t be pretentious or start putting up walls at the first sign of trouble; these things can be very confusing and off-putting for a guy. They need to know that the you they know is the real you, and you can prove that by not selling yourself out. Staying true to the you that’s really you also makes you exude confidence, and guys eat that up.
2.) Surprise Him Once in a While
Being yourself doesn’t mean that you have to be boring or routine. Guys like spontaneity and surprises to shake things up once in a while and break up the doldrums of everyday life. One of the funnest things of a new relationship is the novelty. Keep things exciting by doing the fresh and unexpected every once in a while. You don’t have to go totally schizo, but a surprise now and then is a great way to keep your relationship feeling like new.
3.) His Friends Are Your Friends
Be cool with his guys. Even if they’re your least favorite people on the planet, when they show up to chill, you should resist the urge to roll your eyes and make that face. Instead, put on a genuine smile and offer them a beer – then give them some space. Remember, as much as you love your man, you’ve got to let him breathe and be a dude. Many a relationship has gone south because of arguments over guys hanging out with other guys. Accepting and embracing his testosterone fueled pool of friends early on can save you a lot of headaches down the road.
4.) Keep It Hot
While it might seem a bit cliche, knowing how to keep your guy satisfied between the sheets can go a long way toward keeping him interested. I mean, come on. This is what guys are chasing when they’re taking us out on the town and showing us off. Don’t be afraid to take the lead and show him that you want him as much as he wants you. Make it so good that you’re all he can think about.
5.) Keep Yourself Clean
One of the things that guys love the most about girls is that they always smell so sexy and sweet. If you want your man to think about burying his face in your neck all day, every day, you need to make sure that you always smell delicious. This can be trickier than it sounds, though, as we ladies know all too well. If you want to master the perfect lingering scent, go for something that works well with your body chemistry and don’t overdo it.
6.) Don’t Be A Drama Queen
If there’s something most men can’t stand, it’s perpetual drama. Sorry ladies, but if you want to keep your man happy, try to keep the Jerry Springer out of your life and your conversation. Don’t bombard your guy with complaints about the chick in the next cubicle the second he walks through the door or start going off about how your friend’s brother’s girlfriend’s ex really makes you mad first thing in the morning. It’s not that he doesn’t care about your life, it’s just that he doesn’t understand all of the unnecessary drama.
7.) Don’t Talk About Your Exes
On that note, ladies, no man on the planet wants to hear every detail about your ex-boyfriend. They just don’t. On some level, they realize that you’ve probably dated other men and that you have a past, but no man really wants to think about some other guy being all over his girlfriend. Which is precisely what comes to his mind every time your exes name comes out of your mouth. Even if you are comparing him favorably to that scum bag you’re better off without, he’d probably rather you never said that name again.
8.) His Interests Are Your Interests (well, some anyway!)
One thing that can help secure your relationship is to be interested in what he’s interested in. Whatever that may be. Even if you’ve never skied before, if he’s a snow-bunny, you’re probably going to want to invest in some lessons. You don’t have to love everything he loves, but you should definitely show and interest. You never know, maybe you’ll discover a new passion in life that the two of you can share.
9.) He Has A Mom, He Doesn’t Need Two
Don’t be his mommy, but be his lover and his friend. Show him support when he needs it, have his back. If you want your guy to be around for the long haul, he has to know that you are going to support him no matter what. Make him want to tell you his deepest darkest secrets and hash out his craziest schemes. As long as he knows you’ll always be there when he needs you, he’ll never need to turn anywhere else.
10.) Be Like Family
Become part of the family. Okay, not on the first date, but if you are planning a future with a guy, you are going to want to get in good with the people that know and love him best. Remember, you may have loved him for the last 6 months, but these folks have loved him his entire life. If you can find yourself a sweet spot within his family unit, he won’t have to squint too hard to picture you as a part of it. Also, be aware of and sensitive to any touchy family dynamic issues, and when in doubt, refer back to tip number nine.
11.) Keep Your Finances in Check
Another great way to ensure that your guy sticks around is to make sure that you are in a good financial situation. It may sound harsh, but nobody wants to take on someone else’s bad credit or train-wreck finances. While love is definitely more important than material things, the fact of the matter is that financial problems are a real strain on even the most established relationship. Keeping yourself in the black is just good all-around planning, guy or no guy.
12.) Be Smart
Don’t be afraid to dazzle your guy with your big, sexy brain. Guys love a girl that knows what she’s talking about. You don’t have to be a know-it-all, but being able to hold up your end of an intelligent conversation is a big relationship selling point. After all, most of your relationship is going to be spent just chatting it up. You have to be able to talk to each other. As an added bonus, you may discover new shared interests.
13.) Respect his Boundaries
Most guys aren’t cool with public displays of affection. If that’s the case, don’t be a pusher. If you’re too clingy or kissy in public, you’re going to make him uncomfortable, and nobody wants to be in a relationship where they’re perpetually uncomfortable. If your guy’s not all about the public displays, settle for hand holding or walking close together – and knowing that he’s coming home to you at the end of the day.
14.) Be Optimistic
I know this sounds trite, but nobody wants to be around a sour puss all the time. Sometimes in a relationship, you can focus so much on your man that you forget about yourself, and when that happens you may find yourself down in the dumps emotionally. Make sure that you are paying attention to your own emotional well-being and keeping upbeat and positive. Of course, everybody has their bad days, but if you’re constantly feeling down you tend to bring others down with you.
15.) No Nagging
Nobody wants to be nagged. It’s that simple. While you may think that you are just doing your duty as a woman by pushing your guy a little further or to try a little bit harder, the fact is if he constantly hears you griping at him over the little things, the little things can become big things. Sure, it’s okay to give an opinion or ask for help if you need it, but there is no need to be the broken record playing in the background. I promise, he heard you the first time.
16.) Stay Loyal
Don’t be too big of a flirt with other guys. No dude wants to feel like he’s still competing with the crowd for your attention once he already has you. You don’t have to give up your social life, but you know what’s appropriate and what’s not. Don’t do anything behind his back that you wouldn’t do with him standing next to you.
17.) Through his Stomach
As trite and cliche as it may be, mens hearts and stomachs DO appear to be interconnected in some mystical, as yet to be discovered way. If you can cook like you own that kitchen, go for it. This is an especially good tip if your guy has a physically demanding job. Nothing makes a man happier than coming home after a hard day’s work to a hot, home-cooked meal. Even if you’re not the best cook on the block, making an effort to fill up a man’s empty belly goes a long way, and he’ll love the fact that you tried.
18.) Overly Attached Girlfriend?
Don’t be that clingy girl that needs his attention every second of every day. Don’t blast your relationship status and every fight and make-up all over your favorite social network site for the world to see. Don’t burn up his phone with calls every half hour when he’s at work. Back up a little bit. As excited as you are that he’s in your life, you have to remember he’s a grown man with a life of his own, too. Call if you need to, send a text every now and then, but don’t be too crazy.
19.) Be Creative in Bed
Did I mention that you should be sexually inventive? Men are sensual, sexual creatures. You can put them in a suit and tie and send them to an office to work, but deep down they are all thinking about it more often than not. The trick to keeping a good man is to ensure that when he’s thinking about it, he’s thinking about it with you. Keeping your sex life spicy and inventive will always keep him coming back for more; after all, he just might be getting something new next time.
20.) Respect Yourself
Finally, and perhaps above all else, when it comes to keeping a man around, you need to respect yourself. Never lower your standards or compromise your beliefs because you think you have to in order to make a relationship work. The right man, the man who is going to be around until the end, isn’t going to want you to be anything other than your truest self. He’s going to want you to love you as much as he loves you, because he won’t be able to understand how anyone could do anything but adore you.