How to Keep a Conversation Going With a Guy

By on May 23, 2014

Ever been tongue tied in front of a cute guy- especially one you like? It’s awful! It’s one of those, “I wish I could be anywhere than here” moments that we absolutely fear. Some of us girls fear it so much we might avoid the conversation altogether. But where does that get us? Nowhere! Kick your conversation nerves with some of these great tips on how to keep a conversation going with a guy.


1. Don’t Just Talk About Yourself

Have you ever been around one of those girls that just talk about themselves incessantly? She got her hair done here yesterday, she just landed a job there last week, and she rode her first roller coaster when she was 12. It’s so annoying, right? Well just like we think it’s incredibly annoying when women talk about themselves with no end in sight, it just so happens to be a huge turn off for guys too. I can’t say it enough: don’t be the self absorbed woman he would never want to enter into a relationship with, let alone have a short conversation with. Keep HIM engaged by leaving YOURSELF out.


2. Ask Plenty of Questions

What better way to stop talking about yourself and focus on the other person than with questions? Not to mention there are literally thousands of questions to ask someone, from funny to personal, casual to romantic. However, for this particular conversation you probably want to leave out the extremely personal and romantic questions- this could scare him off pretty quickly.

So what are some awesome questions you might want to ask him? Here are a few:

-How’s your day going?

-Did you do anything interesting last weekend?

-How do you like your job right now?

-What’s your favorite type in music?

These are just a basic few that you can ask anyone. If you notice something about him, like he a lot of tattoos or piercings, you could ask about those. If you met him in a certain place, like a downtown bar, you could ask him if he likes the bar or what his favorite type of drink is. The point is you’re trying to get HIM talking and figure out more about the guy.

Tip: Try to avoid yes or no questions. This won’t get you anywhere!

3. Elaborate on His Answers

Let me reinstate this important tip: try to refrain from yes or no questions. Ask questions that you can easily elaborate on, which will lead to a better and longer conversation. For instance, let’s refer back to tip number 2. The question, “What’s your favorite type of music?” Let’s say for the sake of this blog he says rock and roll. You could them ask him if he has been to any cool rock concerts, or if he likes any of the popular rock bands like Metallica or Linkin Park. You could even mention how you are a lover of rock and roll and have been too some concerts yourself. Remember, you don’t want the focus to be on you, but it’s OK to throw in some comments about yourself here and there. That just makes for good conversation!


4. Appear Comfortable and Interested

Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person seems to be drifting off into space as they stare at the wall, completely uninterested? How about those people who incessantly fidget with their nervous habits and can’t seem to calm down. Yeah, I hated those awkward conversations too. Make sure you stay completely comfortable and interested during your entire conversation with the guy. Engage actively in the conversation and don’t appear frigid or nervous. Keep a soft smile on your face, laugh at his jokes, and always stay focused on the conversation at hand.


5. …….But Don’t Be Creepy

There is a fine line between being interested and creepy. Just like you wouldn’t want him to think you are bored with the convo, you definitely don’t want to be the creepy girl he is trying to get away from. So how can you do this? Here are some great tips to stay interested without being a weirdo:

-Smile often, with a soft innocent smile- not an overly eager and creepy smile.

-Keep eye contact often, but also feel free to break contact and look around the room.

-Keep a relaxed sit in your seat, not too close or frigid yet not too far to be uninterested.


6. Throw in a Compliment

Does this tip really need any explanation? I mean, who doesn’t love a compliment? Especially guys! You would be surprised how far a simple compliment can go, especially for men. They so rarely get a compliment that when one does actually arise, they get pretty excited about it. It really doesn’t have to anything special or grand, simply telling him, “I like your shirt. Where did you get it?” is an awesome compliment. (Not to mention you naturally added in a simple question that will generate even more conversation. Slick girl, you!)


7. ……But Don’t Be Overly Romantic

When it comes to compliments, the simpler the better- no, really! You might think that you need a big long compliment that will make his week in order to get his attention or even have him appreciate the compliment. But you’re all too wrong. In fact, long personal compliments that are overly romantic are a BIG turn off to men, especially ones you just met. Keep it short and sweet. Men love these, and they are a great way to help loosen him up and feel comfortable continuing in the convo with you.

8. Talk About the Basics

When you feel like you’re running out of things to talk about but don’t want to end the conversation, don’t forget there is always the basics. The basics include things like the weather (although don’t talk about the weather in a boring, ‘I have nothing else to talk about’ way. Try to say things like, ‘Wow, I’ve never seen hail that large before!’ or ‘This is the hottest day I’ve seen since last year. Makes me want to go swimming!’), his job, his favorite movies, school, or anything else that you could talk about with anyone. You might be surprised at how these ‘basic’ conversation starters can turn into hour-long conversations that lead to an exchange of numbers and a very bright future! (OK, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. But who knows?)


9. Make Him Laugh

Want to know a secret (that is actually probably not that big of a secret to most of you)? Men LOVE it when a girl can make him laugh. I mean, there is just something about a girl with a great personality that drives them absolutely wild. If you can show him your a funny girl with a great sense of humor in the short convo you guys might be having, that’s a huge plus. You could say anything from a silly comment about something he says to a full-fledged joke that you remembered from the internet a couple of days ago. Tip number 9 has no rules: the only rule is to make him laugh!


10. Find Something You’re Both Interested In

It’s an awesome moment during a conversation when you find something you are both interested in. It’s like, all of the sudden you have a million and one things to talk about and it comes so unbelievably natural you don’t notice that you have been talking for three hours straight! If you don’t already know something you both love, you might have to do a little bit of digging. But once you find that lucky topic, you’ll be overjoyed you took the time to figure it out.

On the other hand, if you know a bit about the guy already or your friends have told you some great information about what he is into and what he likes, then you can use this information to your advantage. Let’s say a friend told you he loves ice cream. You could easily slip that into the conversation in a totally natural way, and viola! Suddenly the two of you are ehading to the local ice cream shop and basque in the glorly of your chocolatey minty vanilla delicious snacks as you talk about your future ice cream wedding cake.


So you tried all of these tips and the convo went great. You talked about stuff he likes and found the magic topic that connected you guys beautifully. That’s awesome! But if things didn’t work so smoothly for you, it’s time for a bit of honestly. If you’ve tried all of these things and you still aren’t having a good conversation, he might just not be interested in conversing with you. That’s the harsh truth, but some people just don’t click. Don’t try to force the conversation, it’s best to just move on and save yourself the trouble. There’s something out there just waiting for you to spark up a convo with!


What are some other great ways to keep a conversation going with a guy?

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