How to Get Over Your First Love

By on March 24, 2017

When you fall in love with someone, the entire world seems like a brighter place. You feel happier and nothing seems to bother you. When you finally break up, it seems like your entire world has come crashing down. Even the things that used to make you happy no longer seem like enough to make you smile. Everything seems to be darker and dimmer.

You are not alone. You feel crazy and depressed. You may find yourself texting your ex over and over again despite knowing that you seem like you are insane or needy. This type of feeling is perfectly normal. In MRI studies, the brain of someone going through a break up looks the same as someone who has a mental disorder. Basically, you are temporarily insane because of the break up. This feeling will ultimately pass, but it will be difficult to handle for the time being. If you want to get over your first love, you have to be proactive and begin working towards your future. Healing is possible, but you have to let it happen.

How to Get Over Your First Love

Your heart is shattered. You fell in love, and you thought the relationship would last forever. We have all been in this situation, and it never gets even easier. Even after you have been through a dozen break ups, the feeling is just as terrible. This was your first love, so the experience was memorable and intense. While you will have to move on, keep in mind that you may want to remember the experience in the future. Some day, you will look at the relationship with a sense of nostalgia once the pain has passed. If you let your heart heal, the pain will soon pass.

1. Realize That It Is Not the End of the World

It may feel like it now, but your break up is not the end of the world. You are still alive, and you have an entire life to live. Give yourself a few weeks to mope and feel sorry for yourself. After that time has passed, let go of the relationship. As long as you stay focused on the pass, you will never be able to move on to your future.

Think of it like a friendship. You have had many friends in your life, and some of those friends are no longer a part of your life. You grew up and moved on from your friendships. Ultimately, you can do that for your relationships as well.

2. Stay Busy

If you are sitting at home alone, you are probably going to find it hard to move on. When you have nothing to do, all you can do is think about your heartbreak. Start doing the things that you really enjoyed. Stay busy. Find a new hobby or start playing a new sport. At first, you may be depressed and feel unable to do anything. You have to force yourself to stay active because your activities will distract your mind. While your mind is distracted, your heart can start to heal.

3. Consider It a Learning Lesson

Every relationship is an opportunity to learn something. Your relationship and the reasons for breaking up can serve as tools for having a better relationship in the future. Perhaps you were with someone who was completely wrong for you. Now, you know that and can make sure that your next partner is better suited for you. Or, you were too needy in the relationship and it drove your partner away. Now, you can use that information in order to have a better relationship in the future.

4. Reach Out to Your Friends

Your friends are there for you when you need them, so let them support you now. Once you have a break up, you may also have a lot of extra time on your hands. You used to spend this time with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Now, you have nothing to do. Fill that time by being around people. A trusted friend can understand how you feel and help you to heal. Just remember to be nice to your friends. You may feel like crying or lashing out all the time right now, but you do not want to do this to your friends or they will all be driven away.

5. Do Not Try to Get Back Together

While some people marry their first loves, it is actually extremely rare. Your perfect partner will most likely arrive in the future, so don’t chase after your first love. If you try to get back together with your partner, they may view it as needy or clingy. And if they start dating you again, they may take you for granted. After all, you were the one who sought them out and wanted the relationship, so they can assume that you will always be there. If you have been dumped, move on and do not try to get your ex back.

6. Get Some Space

If you were to give advice to a friend, you would tell them to move on. When the situation involves yourself, it is hard to take the same advice. You should not try to get back together with your ex. If you cannot stop yourself from trying, set a time goal. Give yourself and your ex at least one month apart before you try to make a move. This will give you time to rethink your decision and get to a more stable emotional state. Meanwhile, your ex would have time to realize how terrible life is without you.

7. Avoid Your Ex

Some people like to have a friends with benefits relationship after a break up. You need to stop sleeping with your ex and try to stop seeing them completely. Every time you see them or sleep with them, it will only make it harder for you to move on. Be kind to yourself and avoid your ex as much as possible.

8. Look at Their Flaws

Once a relationship ends, it is easy to idolize your ex. You remember everything that was good about them and how great the relationship was. No relationship is perfect, and you are only making it harder to move on by focusing on the positive things in the relationship. Instead, remind yourself of the flaws in your ex and your relationship. Not only will this be a reminder of why you should move on, it can also serve as a learning experience for your future relationships. Learn from the flaws in the relationship so that you can have a better relationship in the future.

9. Realize That This Is What Love Is

When you watch a movie, falling in love seems like an impossible state of bliss. It seems hard to understand how someone can fall in love so deeply and completely. Now, you know what love is. You have learned about love and grown as a person. You also know what it is like to have that love suddenly snatched away from you. Now that you know how blissful and painful love can be, make sure that you choose your next partner wisely.

10. Keep a Journal

Some of your feelings may be too painful to share with a friend. A journal can help you work through your emotions in a safe, private environment. As you heal, it can also help to focus on the bright side. Studies show that people who feel gratitude are happier in life. Each day, write down one thing that you are thankful for. This could be something as simple as a good cup of coffee or a sunny day. Whatever it is, write it down before you go to sleep as a reminder that there are things to be happy about and reasons to hope for a brighter future.

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