How To Get Over a Breakup

By on December 3, 2018

Breakup and its discouraging effects are familiar to almost everyone.  Psychology considers breakups to be one of the biggest stresses a person can experience, as it inevitably means going through certain stages exhausting for the general mental health.

  • The first stage is denial. A person cannot believe that their relationship is over. He or she continues to make plans, cherish hope, and believe that the breakup was haphazard, and their ex will call and come, and everything will be as before.
  • The second one is anger. Realization of a breakup leads to the feeling of vexation. The person is indignant inside or openly. Words of accusation of inaction and passivity are said in the former partner’s address.
  • The third is bargaining. The person begins to bargain with him/herself or with an ex, trying thereby to resume the relationship. Having experienced a breakup, a person sets a time limit for themselves, determining the time interval during which they can return a lover. In this way, the human psyche tries to cope with the stress and get used to this state.
  • The fourth stage is depression. At a certain moment, there comes the realization that there is no point in denying the breakup. And then despair, sadness, and apathy overtake.

All of the stages mentioned above are completely natural. Many studies have shown that each person experiences them in the case of a breakup. However, the last step every person should take and the most important one is the last stage.

  • New life. It is marked by independent life. A person has new plans, as well as strength and the desire to carry them out.

Psychologists say that the process of healing after a breakup can last from 3 months to 3 years. The duration of this process depends on many factors, such as the continuance of the relations themselves, overall happiness within the couple, etc. It is necessary to understand that the recovery is often very painful, and for it to begin, it is required to hear the truth about your relationship from the outside. A considerable amount of time should pass until a person begins to understand that the breakup with a partner was an inevitable step not made in vain. It then seems that everything around has lost its colors, and life is not worth living because the joy has disappeared from the usual everyday moments.


So what steps should a person take in order not to get stuck in the after-breakup depression? The suggestions given below relate to various aspects of life, yet all of them have a common tendency: after a breakup, life continues, and, more importantly, it is usually brighter and more сolorful. Here there are the most effective and time-tested tips from various psychologists.

  • Get involved in a new romance or at least find a new and interesting friend; open up a whole world of international dating for yourself. Maybe getting to know somebody with an authentic mentality and culture will work out;
  • Remember that life is short, and it continues; hurry to fill it with new, interesting events;
  • Stop hurting yourself and return to the same excruciating moments;
  • Never text or call your exes and block them on social networks, so their profile doesn’t remind you of the past;
  • Visiting your ex’s profiles on social media, you get nothing but a feeling of frustration and emptiness since it is difficult to distance oneself from the object of affection and start living again without them;
  • Do not cope with this alone – go out with friends, share your pain, and seek help;
  • Get a gym membership, go to a swimming pool, or take up a new hobby;
  • Spend the maximum of your time fun and enjoy life;
  • Delete your former partner’s number so that there is no temptation in unnecessary calls in moments of despair;
  • Stop victim-blaming yourself; otherwise, such relationships will repeat, even if the previous one ended not because you said so. The problem does not have to always be in you, as everybody is different; maybe you just were not made for each other;
  • Make appropriate conclusions about your life so that you do not repeat mistakes in the future;
  • You should not avoid places where you were with your ex but, on the contrary, spend fun time with friends in these places in order to realize that, without them, life has not stopped in its place.

These tips, being simple, are actually very effective. The hardest part is to perceive them and do your best to implement them in real life. The final advice would be to simply stay stunning! You are beautiful, you are worth it and do not treat breakup as the end of life. Smile instead of hiding your eyes when occasionally running into your erstwhile lover. Confidence is the most powerful armor.