How to Fix a Relationship

By on March 9, 2014

Like everything in life, relationships have their ups and downs. After the smoothing sailing of the honeymoon period, you may encounter a few months of rocky relations. Often, couples first start to experience difficulties after they move in together. There are no relationships that are exactly the same. Each relationship is different and the couple involved is different. This means that different techniques and methods must be used to fix the relationship. With the proper care, even the most unhappy of relationships can be remedied.


Learning How to Forgive

If your relationship is filled with arguments and disagreements, it may be due to a lack of forgiveness. Everyone is human and is prone to making mistakes. Even in a perfect relationship, one partner may commit a transgression or accidentally do the wrong thing. Due to this, both partners must learn the value of forgiveness and avoid judging a partner. It can take a great deal of personal courage for a partner to admit or confess to something. If you cannot forgive them or they cannot forgive you, it will only create a hole in the relationship. In addition, it will discourage the partner from speaking up in the future. Once this type of situation occurs, it only ends up causing a downward spiral. Communication and honesty end in the relationships and partners feel unable to say what is on their mind.


Due to this, both partners have to be able to forgive. To ensure that the relationship can remain honest and open up communication, both individuals have to learn how to accept what happened and try not to judge each other. If you think that something is wrong with the relationship, you should calmly tell your partner. Shouting and accusations only serve to separate people emotionally. Your boyfriend has to understand your feelings. If you only yell at him, he will never learn how you think about a matter.

Communicate With Each Other

In the best relationships, partners know the value of communication. This involves more than just talking and sharing feelings. Partners have to be able to disagree with each other and learn how to fight in a constructive manner. Some couples slam doors and give each other the silent treatment after an argument. This is not the most effective method for dealing with an argument. It does not give you the option of actually addressing the problem or opening up the line of communication. A positive, calm confrontation is needed for both partners to feel like their concerns were truly addressed.

Outside of arguments, there are other communication techniques that partners should use. Over the course of several months or years, it is far too easy for partners to stop listening to one another. They may run out of things to talk about or stop caring. Instead, you and your boyfriend should make time each week together. Turn the television off, disconnect the Internet and do something together. A long hike could be a great bonding experience and offer you a chance to talk with each other. Whatever you choose to do each week, you should make sure that you schedule time to listen to one another.

Learning to Grow Together

People seldom remain the same for long. New hobbies, passions and interests take over in their lives. In addition, many partners may have a change in personality as they transition from their teenage years to their 30s. Once you are in a relationship, you must allow the relationship to grow. As your partner and you change, you must find ways to let the relationship change with it. If either partner loses interest in being together, they will stop caring about maintaining the relationship. Someday, this could cause the relationship to end.


In addition, pursuing relationship growth can also be a way to appreciate a partner. Over time, it is easy for loved ones to take each other for granted. When this occurs, the other partner may feel unloved or unimportant. Instead, you should schedule dates together and listen to your boyfriend or spouse. Selecting hobbies and activities to do together can help you grow as partners rather than as individuals. Partners need to grow together, but give each other space for their own individual growth. By learning how to be better individuals, both partners can be better people for the relationship.

Are You Compatible?


You do not have to be the exact same as your spouse for the relationship to work. Compatible partners may be complete opposites or hold many of the same interests. For opposites, both partners have to have types of differences that draw them closer. Unfortunately, this may not always work. When a relationship is having problems, one of the first issues is often compatibility troubles.

There are only two solutions to compatibility issues. Partners either learn to live with them or end the relationship. Unless you want to lose your partner, you will have to learn how to look at each difference as a way to learn from your partner. Being different should never be a burden. Instead, it is an opportunity to learn something new and work toward gaining an understanding of the other person. By doing this, you can learn how to be a better individual and both of you can become a better couple.

Compromise on Important Matters

Compromise is the key to long term relationships. Couples who have been married for more than a few decades know how to work out their differences. Instead of becoming stubborn in a situation, they search for common ground. After deciding which viewpoint that they hold in common, the partners will search for stances that they are willing to give up. It may not be enjoyable to give in all the time, but it is worth it for a happy relationship. If you like seeing your partner happy, a compromise is worth it. Remaining stubborn will not be endearing to your partner. Likewise, your partner needs to learn how to compromise with you as well. Any relationship requires some give and take. Each compromise and decision should be mutual.


Decide if You Have a Problem and If You Want to Fix It

When it comes down to it, you have to figure out what the problem is in your relationship. Is it something fixable? Do you care to fix it? It is perfectly fine for a new relationship to have some bumps along the way. If the issues are too extreme, it may be time to consider ending the relationship. No matter what option you choose, you should still discuss it with your partner first. Your boyfriend or spouse has to be on board with any decision to change the relationship for the better or to end it. When it comes to compromising or forgiving each other, both partners have to be willing to do so.


These steps can be used to fix a relationship that has gone off track. Although they may appear to be simple at first, putting them into practice can be difficult. Over time, these different techniques will become habit. Once this occurs, it will be far easier for your relationship to stay the course and remain healthy. Each day, take small steps toward fixing the relationship. Like the proverb says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”


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