How to be Charming

By on February 13, 2014

For some people, whispering sweet nothings and being charming are just a natural part of a conversation. Many people have difficulties keeping up a conversation and conveying warmth. In order to be charming to everyone, you have to learn how to carry on a conversation. An avid conversationalist knows how to keep someone’s attention and draw them into the conversation.

Stay Comfortable

If you can’t do it, fake it. Before long, your faked comfort level will become second nature and you will not realize that you are not actually comfortable. Avoid shuffling your feet or playing with your hands. If you are constantly fidgeting, it will indicate to the other person that you are not comfortable. Relax and let your natural personality shine.

Let the Other Person Share the Limelight

When humans get nervous, they often speak faster and tend to focus on sharing details about themselves. For your conversation to be charming, you should focus on the other person. Everyone likes to talk about their own passions and interests. If you want to make a good first impression, you have to find out their favorite interests and steer the conversation toward their passion. Whoever you are talking to will hang around for a longer conversation because they are excited about the topic.

Flirting Works


Although you do not have to be overly sexualized, some flirting can help put the other person at ease. Humans naturally like to hear positive observations and compliments. Be genuine and compliment the person about their attributes. As long as you can remain warm while doing it, they will feel at ease and enjoy the conversation.



The most basic thing you can do to charm someone is to smile. People like to be around positive influences. Allow your happy nature to infect the people around you and release positive vibes. This will cause your conversation partner to feel happier and more relaxed around you.

Use Empathy

When you are listening to someone else, make sure you actually focus on what they are saying. Empathize with the things they are going to. The easiest way to do this is to listen and convey a related story. Often, embarrassing or painful stories can help make an instant connection. By sharing your own painfully embarrassing story, you will appear sweet and understanding.

Be Positive

In addition to complimenting someone else and smiling, allow yourself to be positive in the conversation. If you appear confident and happy, the other person will enjoy being around you. Remember to be sincere while you smile or this tip will backfire. People can easily detect an insincere smile or empty flattery.

Let Them Steer the Conversation

The most charming conversationalist know how to draw other people out of their shells. Let your date do the talking. It will take the pressure off of you to lead the conversation and allow them to talk about their own life. To get started, try asking basic questions about their day or favorite activities. When they answer you, make sure that you appear to be truly interested in their response.

Maintain Eye Contact

Always Make Eye Contact

When you are speaking with someone else, notice if they maintain eye contact. Over time, you will notice that the people who seem to care mots will keep eye contact with you. If you want to appear genuine and interested, you will need keep your eyes focused on them. Opening your eyes wider than normal and a genuine smile can also show that you are interested and will cause the other person to like you. The individual will feel like they have your complete attention and will continue the conversation as long as you remain interested in what they have to say.

Watch Body Language

Although what people say matters, the things they do can matter more. Body language is a key sign of interest. When the person you are talking to is bored, they may start to look around the room frequently or have difficulties following the conversation. Likewise, crossed arms are a sign that they are closed off or even angry. If you are good at watching body language, you can spot their interest waning early on and change the conversation topic.

Enthusiasm Helps

When you want to keep the conversation going, you will have to put in the work. As your friend or date carries on the conversation, make sure to add details and ask more questions. Ideally, these questions should be open-ended so that they require more than a basic yes or no response. In addition, avoid appearing bored or disinterested. Without the proper enthusiasm, you will be unable to appear charming and interested in the conversation. It could even cause the other person to feel hurt.

Understand When the Conversation is Over

Unless you have found your soul mate, the conversation is unlikely to continue forever. Even when you are instant bosom buddies, your conversation will have to end at some point. You have to learn when to ask new questions and when to allow the conversation to end. Let your discussion be balanced and allow your partner to say everything they wanted to say. Once you begin to run out of new topics, it is time to excuse yourself. You can say that you are needed somewhere else or just tell them that you need to get some errands done. Once the conversation reaches an end, you have to leave before it becomes boring. If you are still interested in talking to the other person, you can always carry on the discussion on a different day.

Notice Your Voice

It is not what you say, but how you say it that matters. A good conversationalist is able to keep their voice in line with the feelings they want to express. Avoid yelling or obnoxious comments. Your voice should be pleasant and just loud enough to be heard. Unless you are at a party or surrounded by a noisy group, you should never be louder than necessary.



One way to convey interest is to touch the other person. A quick squeeze of their shoulder as you leave to fetch the coffee or your hand at their elbow can show that you are interested. Humans are hardwired to respond to touch. It helps to build a relationship and connects you automatically with the other people. Individuals who are able to use touch effectively are consistently rated as better liked and more charming with the opposite sex.

Plan Topics in Advance

Few people are born with natural charm. If you find it difficult to carry on a conversation, plan out your topics in advance. Naturally shy people can relax more when they have a list of prepared conversation topics. This takes away the pressure to come up with ideas on the spot. Often, you will not need this list after the first few moments. The conversation will naturally develop on its own. To reduce stress and apprehension, planning out conversation topics can help.

Select Your Perfume Carefully


Long after the date is over, your friend will remember the smell of your scent. In clinical studies, smell was one of the strongest and longest-lasting memories. Choose your perfume carefully and use it at each date. This will allow that scent to become linked with you in their memory. After you have left for the night, the slight scent of perfume in their car or on their jacket will bring up pleasant memories. The only thing to remember is to avoid using too much perfume or your scent will be overwhelming.

Read More!


If you are constantly running out of conversation topics, try reading more books, magazines or newspapers. By reading more about different topics, you will be able to discuss a wide range of issues. Intelligent and well-educated people are always attractive. When you want to be charming, make sure that you have the knowledge to back it up. It will help your conversation skills and show your date that you are an interesting person.

Pick Up New Activities


Someone who spends their days working and watching television is seldom interesting. This type of person lacks their own stories or interests. If they try to carry on a conversation, they will find it difficult. Avoid letting this become you and try out some new hobbies. From yoga to sculpture, a new hobby helps you become an interesting person. On occasion, you may even discover that you and your date share some of the same interests.

Be On Time

The first thing that can end your conversation is being late. No one likes to wait around for a hour until their date appears. If you value your date, you will also value their time. Only make appointments and dates that you can keep on time.

Turn Down Another Glass of Wine


When you are nervous, it is far too easy to drink more than you intended. During your date, you have to try avoiding this. Additional alcohol will only make your conversation skills fall at the wayside. In addition, being drunk during a date is never charming. Stick to one glass of wine and keep your senses sharp.

Be Kind

During your conversation, avoid gossiping about other people and never speak bad about others. In addition to being bad form, it also shows that you may speak badly about your date once they are gone. Be kind and avoid negativity.

The best conversationalists know how to be charming. They work to get the other person talking and engaged in a topic. Be genuine, smile and listen to what your date has to say. Before long, you will enjoy the benefits of your hard work.

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