What To Do If He Just Wants To Be Friends

By on April 30, 2015

Chances are if you’re reading this article, your heart is hurting a little bit. We’ve all heard those words at some point that they ‘just want to be friends’ and maybe we’ve said them to others too. The more you can take the emotions out of this situation, the easier it will be to heal. Yes, it stings to hear this but sometimes you might realize after a short period of time once the love glasses come off, that you just dodged a bullet. Often we overlook people’s shortcomings when we are smitten and once those feelings of intense attraction fade, we realize it was quite silly to be chasing after that man-child in the first place. Ever experienced this? Here is my advice to help you feel great again when you are put in the friend zone.

 

Respect His Decision

He Just Wants To Be Friends

First you must thank him for being honest with you and not dragging you along. It’s hard to tell someone something that you know will hurt their feelings and at least he decided to be honest with you. You also want to stop thinking about yourself here and think about his feelings. He does not want to be pressured by you to be in a relationship and we have to respect the boundary that they are creating. Take a deep breath and start to paint your image of the future in a new way, in a happy friendship. Besides, in a romantic relationship, we should be concerned about their happiness foremost and if they aren’t happy being intimate, it’s your responsibility to completely and utterly honor that.

 

Take Some Space

If this was a big surprise to you and you really feel like you love this dude, you need to take a total detox from him. Just tell him you need some space to process and deal with your feelings and tell him in a kind way. You can be honest with your feelings and tell him that you’re disappointed but don’t say anything mean or hurtful. Friendships with guys can help you heal and they can help the other person heal as well. When and if you feel up to having a friendship, you want to make sure you have always shown him respect and compassion. It’s good to take space so you can occupy your mental space with some other things, this will let your feelings for him simmer down.

 

Decide if It’s Hurtful to Hang Out With Him

As you take some space, you can listen to your heart and decide how much you want this guy in your life. Maybe it will be at a comfortable distance or maybe it will be easy for you to shift gears and think of him as a friend. Please do not trick yourself into thinking you can handle being around him if you’re still wishing he will change his mind and you’re envisioning him waking up one day to confess his love. We have to be fair to ourselves and not torture ourselves. Do yourself a favor and take him off that pedestal that you have him on in your mind and remind yourself of his shortcomings. We are all only human and he doesn’t have magic powers. You’re the one with the magic powers to empower yourself to shift your focus and move on.

 

Realize Your Worth

realize your worth 

We often put ourselves below someone else in our mind if we think of ourselves as out of our league. We are just wasting our time if we think that we are going to prove ourselves to someone. For whatever reason that he’s not vibing with you, it doesn’t mean he’s any better than you. You might intimate him or he might have serious fears from other situations he’s been through. The human mind and emotions are complicated and sometimes you just can’t force things. Do yourself a favor and make it easy on yourself. Hold out for a guy that wants all of you, not just your friendship. Know your worth and don’t let someone make you feel sub-human.

 

Tell Yourself A New Story

It’s time to retell the story of you and him in your mind. Tell yourself that you are learning valuable life lessons about friendship, honesty and respect through this situation. Find gratitude for this unmet expectation and tell yourself that you accept this story and that you know it is for your best interest. If a guy wasn’t ready to date you, he has a good reason whether he tells you or not.

 

Be Grateful For His Friendship

Shift your mindset from victim to gratitude and you’ll start to feel better. Having an open and honest friendship with a guy can be one of the most healing things you’ll ever experience. When you have mutual respect you can learn how to put the other person’s feelings before yours and they can give you feedback about yourself, you’ll both grow. When you’re honest with them and they are honest with you, you might be actually helping yourself mature enough to find the ‘one.’

 

Focus on Your Goals and Health

Now it’s time to be about you. Stop thinking about him, set up your schedule to cater to your health and your goals. Get your tail to yoga and start to feel super confident because you’ll be glowing from the inside out. Don’t waste time mopping about at home eating icecream. Eat super healthy and fill yourself with inspiration about your personal goals. When you’ve got it going on, you’ll attract men that like your positive vibe and see that you’re already happy on your own.

 

Remember A New Door Will Open

Look up my dear. When one door closes, another one opens. If he wasn’t the one, someone better will come along when he’s supposed to. Live radically trusting that if you’re a good person and kind to everyone that your vibe will bring the right person to you. There are so many lovely people on this planet, don’t waste time crying over one.


You will start feeling a little better each day and it’s good to put some effort into dressing fabulous so you feel like a million bucks. Love your body the way it is and just focus on being healthy, motivated and positive. We do not need a man to be happy and if we do meet a nice man, our relationships should be to help each other focus on our goals for making the world a better place, not to fill a void. Perspective is everything! Stay empowered.

510 Comments

  1. Tiam

    October 15, 2018 at 2:35 am

    Last Aug after being alone for a long time that really makes me depressed and I just one year moved to this new country and living apart from family and friends, so I’ve decided to find someone. Then, I had a date with a boy ( same age 36 yrs old, in same month July), and we decided to make a new relationship. His ex-girlfriend was really hurt him and he had a bad experience with her. For the first month, we were really good together, we slept together, we did workout together and so on. but one day, unfortunately, he suddenly saw his ex-photo on the internet, then everything changed between us. He backed to that upset feeling about her, I’m really willing to help him out from that feeling and want to make him happy but after one month together he said to me I’m not ready for a new relationship and I asked him whether he wants to cut or wants me to wait for him. So he said I’m ok with friendship, now I try to feel better and I want to forget her because she really hurt my feeling and when I’m in new relation I don’t like to talk about my ex with you anymore. So now he doesn’t want to meet me and our chatting from every day changed to once in a week or less, I really do like him and I do not want to lose him, on the other hand, I don’t want to bother him, now I do not know what should I do? I’m really alone, I try to keep my mind busy and do workout and …, but I scared to lose him and if we are not talking and seeing each other he loses his interest in me and relationship. I should add here, his ex was really strict and piggy head ( as he said) but he is very calm and quiet and I also very quiet and am not a fighter. Now I really need help. What should I do to keep this relationship?

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 16, 2018 at 7:53 pm

      You feel a strong emotional connection with him. He has made his feelings clear. He is unable or unwilling to nourish a relationship with you are this time. Your decision should be based on what you want for your future. If he neglects you, then there is no reason to nourish this relationship. If he reaches out to you in the future, then share your kindness and compassion with him. Have a great day, Tiam!

      • Tiam

        October 17, 2018 at 8:35 am

        Dear Admin,

        I deeply appreciate your response. Yeah, I hope he back to me again in the near future.
        Have a blessed day.

        • web admin

          web admin

          October 18, 2018 at 7:48 pm

          Thank you for sharing your positive comment. Please share more of your insights and experiences in the future. Have a great day, Tiam!

  2. Angel

    October 11, 2018 at 8:44 am

    I wasn’t dating this guy but every day he would tell me that he loved me, that I was beautiful, and how I was such a great person and I said that I loved him, that he was really great at listening to me and I appreciated it, and just how much he meant to me then he just stops talking to me for the night. I’m the type of person that gets really anxious when I text something and I know he reads it but doesn’t answer, the next day he apologizes says he loves me everything’s fine, but two hours later he tells me we need to be just friends… I ask if I did anything and he says I didn’t, but I don’t understand if he thought that why did he decide to play me for two hours… I love him and he has been amazing, but he keeps asking me to push down my feelings for him but I feel I cant… I don’t know if we should stay friends or if I should just take a break from him. It doesn’t help that we don’t live near each other so its hard to understand

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 12, 2018 at 7:44 pm

      He has shared his thoughts and feelings with you. You are aware that he is no longer interested in nourishing a relationship with you. Determine what you want for your future without him. There may be a variety of reasons for his actions. Regardless of his reasons, this relationship is no longer viable. Ensure that you share your kindness and compassion with everyone in your life. Have a great day, Angel!

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