Does My Boyfriend Really Love Me?

By on December 8, 2013

Here’s a scenario that might be familiar to you: you’ve been in a relationship for a while, and you’re pretty sure that you’re in love with your boyfriend – but, you’re not sure whether he really loves you. Maybe he hasn’t said it yet, or maybe he’s not particularly romantic – whatever the reason, you’re starting to doubt his feelings for you. Insecurity in relationships is quite common, and it often arises from a lack of intimacy and communication. However, there are a few simple signs that can reveal how he really feels about you.

He hasn’t said the “L” word, but he often tells you how special you are, and how much you mean to him. 

Love is a tricky concept, and it means different things to different people. Some people may expect the earth to move when they’re in love; others may have a more practical and laid-back approach that doesn’t include big romantic gestures. Although it is undeniably an amazing feeling to hear those three magic words from someone, sometimes you need to look a bit deeper than a well-worn phrase. If your boyfriend tells you that he cares for you, and that he couldn’t live without you, chances are he has very deep feelings for you – he just hasn’t limited himself to three words.


He doesn’t really talk about his feelings, but he’s affectionate and does lots of sweet, thoughtful things for you

Some people just can’t express how they feel in words, and so they express their love through actions. This can cause many problems in relationships, as often people don’t understand how the other person expresses their love. However, if he’s always there for you when you need to talk, if he goes out of his way to make you happy, and he’s always affectionate (kissing, hugging and cuddling), you probably don’t need to worry about his devotion to you. He loves you, but shows it in his own way.


He says he loves you, but his behaviour says otherwise

So he’s said that he loves you, but you can’t quite believe him as his actions make you doubt his words. He may put you down, ignore you, flirt with other girls, and disrespect you whilst still proclaiming his love for you. In this case, actions definitely speak louder than words. Just saying “I love you” isn’t enough – he needs to mean it, and show it in his actions every day. It’s not worth staying in a relationship with someone just because they say that they love you.


He said he loves you, but he’s pressuring you to do things you don’t want to do

If your boyfriend has ever said, “If you love me, you’ll do it”, then he probably doesn’t really care for you as much as he claims to. You should never have to prove your love to anyone, especially if they try to manipulate you by making you feel guilty for not doing something. Love should make you feel happy and carefree and wonderful, not scared and worried and pressured. If someone really loves you, they will respect your decisions and love you for who you are.


He says he doesn’t know exactly what love is, but he’s never felt this way about anyone before

It’s easy to jump to conclusions when we don’t hear “I love you” back – you might think that he doesn’t love you, or that you’re not good enough, or something equally negative and self-destructive. Try to look at it from a totally different perspective – it’s possible that he’s not entirely sure what love is, and he’s reluctant to say that he loves you without actually meaning it. If he’s honest enough to share this with you, as well as reassuring you about his commitment to your relationship, there may be potential – just give it a bit of time.

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Ultimately, you can never know for sure whether someone loves you or not – you can only trust them, and judge them by their actions. Trust is a crucial part of any relationship, and it is built over time. If you have a good relationship, with a guy that has always treated you well, made you feel special, and shown affection, the label of “love” shouldn’t really matter as much as what you feel.

And who knows – maybe one day, that guy who wasn’t quite sure what love is might finally say those words you’ve been waiting to hear, and truly mean them.

Lovely images sourced from and