Dating Swiss Men

By on April 12, 2015

Maybe you were swept off your feet during a visit to the Alps, where you met a Swiss man. It’s after all quite romantic with mountain tops, snow and mulled wine. Then again, maybe it was due to some after ski party that you stumbled across your guy. Or maybe you’ve met a Swiss guy who’s come to America. And even though someone already living in America might have picked up a few American dating traditions, the culture where you were brought up usually still runs pretty deep in your veins. So what’s it really like dating Swiss men? Read on to find out.

Dating Isn’t Really Dating

dating Swiss men

America has a strong tradition when it comes to dating. From the idea that men hold the doors to the idea that sex happens around date three, there are set guidelines. Funnily enough I lately read research that waiting four weeks to jump in the sack with someone greatly improves the chance of a lasting relationship. But I digress, the point is that in Switzerland it’s much more common to just hang out with someone. Get to know them. You might meet up in groups of friends, go for walks, or have a coffee. The important thing is spending time together as opposed to going on dates together.

Being introduced to someone’s friends is therefore seen as normal, not as “he likes me because I get to meet them.”

Exclusivity

Now, I haven’t dated any Swiss men myself, but from what I hear it tends to be similar to the rest of Europe – you hang out for a few weeks and if you start having sex you become a couple. It doesn’t mean you are madly in love or intend to marry, it means you are testing the waters. In America it’s more likely you keep dating different people until you get “exclusive,” which is pretty serious.

So if you don’t want an exclusivity deal, you have to be open about that from get go, because in all likelihood, the guy expects it.

If on the other hand, it started with meeting in a club and going home together, that does not mean you are exclusive. If you start hanging out after that you might be a few weeks later though.

Punctuality

In some cultures it’s normal to be late. That’s not the case in Switzerland. The Swiss are, after all, the ones who are famous for making watches. Good watches. That means most of them take punctuality pretty seriously. So if you show up late, the guy you are dating will likely be offended. Here it’s better to be fifteen minutes early as opposed to fifteen minutes late.

Cheese

In Switzerland cheese fondues and melted raclette cheese is popular, so talking about your diet might be a bit of a turn off. The Swiss are generally very active and healthy, so they don’t see a bit of cheese as a big deal.

The Outdoors

The Swiss are surrounded by gorgeous alpine mountains and valleys, with rivers of fresh water flowing forth in spring. In other words: they are spoilt by gorgeous nature. And they tend to spend time in it.

If you date a Swiss man get prepared for hikes in the mountains as well as skiing in winter. You will want to keep fit to keep up with your man. Not least because, as rumor has it, they make a lot of gorgeous chocolate in Switzerland. That coupled with the cheese makes hikes and skiing perfect activities to balance it all out.

Greetings

When you first meet a guy at a party or other social gathering, he will likely shake your hand. If you get to know him, it’s the three cheek kisses that applies. I was taught these by my grandparents who spent a lot of time in France. Basically, give a guy your right cheek (next to his right cheek), left cheek (next to his left cheek), right cheek and kiss the air next to his cheek.

Paying for Dates

In America it’s common for guys to offer to pay for dates. In Switzerland it varies. There’s much more of a mentality of sharing. Of it being fair to pay for yourself.

Of course, as with anything else it’s individual though. Some men might offer to foot the bill, others won’t. For politeness sake you should always offer to pay your share.

Friendliness

The Swiss men you meet might not at first come across as very open. Friendship is a big deal in Switzerland. If you become someone’s friend, it truly means you are their friend. The flakiness of America is far from the Swiss lifestyle. However, to an American the slightly reserved Swiss might, at first, come across as rude. They aren’t. They just don’t chat to anyone and everyone and if they open up to someone it usually means they actually want to be friends with them.

Similarly, they can come across as reserved when first dating. Of course some are more outgoing than others, just don’t expect them to be the typical American guy who comes up to you at a party and offers you a drink and start chatting.

1507760_10152392614860079_8379465670289960282_n copy 2By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery

22 Comments

  1. Liza

    November 13, 2018 at 6:48 am

    Hello. This topic really helped me a lot. I’m dating a swiss guy. We’ve met 2 years ago but it was pure acquaintances and friendship. Last month we’ve met again for some business reasons. During those meetings, we developed a special connection. We started chatting and showed admiration for each other. He shares his future plans with and always willing to help whenever I’m in trouble. But there are days that he is so cold and don’t even bother to give me message. During those days, I hate being the one initiating a communication with him. We are on the getting to know each other stage and establishing trust. We agreed not to rush things for us. But I’m beginning to fall in love with him.

    How will I know if he is serious about me or he’s also a man of many women? Any tips that will help our mutual connections grow?

    Thank you.

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 13, 2018 at 7:49 pm

      Your feelings are growing for him. It is possible that there are other people in his life, as the two of you are not in a committed relationship. Determine what you want for your future. Decide what you believe is appropriate and viable. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Nourish this relationship by spending additional time with him in person. Have a great day, Liza!

  2. Ms. J

    August 10, 2018 at 11:33 am

    I met a Swiss guy on social media 7 years ago. We became good friends because it seemed like he is a very nice man. I am a Filipina (from Philippines) and it’s normal to me to compliment my friends. I don’t know if he appreciate it or he thinks that I’m flirty.

    After a year, I deactivated my Facebook account for some reasons and created another facebook account and never let him know about what I did.

    After a year, I received a message from him asking if I am the “Ms. J” he had been looking for? I was surprised and amazed! He added, “You’ll never know how hard it was for me to find you again”. He was so happy, and me too. I felt very special. He started sending me sweet messages and sending me flowers. But after a few months, he suddenly had a girlfriend in Switzerland. I was hurt because I thought we are in relationship, but I chose to understand him. It’s never easy to be in a long-distance-relationship.

    Even if she had a girlfriend, I still treat him like my bestfriend because everytime I have a problem, even if I don’t say it, he texts me and reminds me that he is always there for me. Still wondering how he knows when I need him the most even without telling it.

    After 3 years, he opened up a problem. His girlfriend wanted to talk to him. He was afraid to face it because he feels that her girlfriend will broke up with him. He asked my advice. But I told him to think positive and never give up on her. After they talked, he told me that she already broke up with him and it really breaks my heart.

    After a few months, he started again to be sweet to me, sweet as never before. We exchange sweet greetings and sweet messages, but as time goes by, he is being cold. But sometimes sweet, like once a month, or twice! Haha Just like what’s on this article, maybe it is just normal with them.(to be cold? 😄)

    I don’t text him if he doesn’t reply on my last message. I am always waiting patiently. I don’t want to be demanding. I want to give space and show respect consistently. But it’s hard you know.

    Last January, he invited me to travel in his country so I chose September because it is his birth month and I want to spend my favorite month of all months with him. We’re still waiting for my visa and he’s doing his best to get my visa approved by the Immigration.

    But he is really cold and sometimes, I can’t help to wonder why. SometimesI cry secretly. Maybe I am not used to it because Filipinos are consistent when it comes to relationships.

    Please give me some light. I’ve been waiting for this (to see him in person) and giving up is never my option. I want to fight for this relationship. I want this to last.

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 12, 2018 at 11:18 pm

      Different cultures and people have different ways of navigating the world. His behaviors may be more acceptable in his country. He may be busy from time to time. Either way, he is interested in nourishing a relationship with you. When you visit him, speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Ms. J!

  3. I liked him a lot

    June 29, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    I met a swiss guy in Feb when he was traveling around my country. We met on Tinder and we had sex but he wasnt just talking about it..then he was cool and treated me as if we were something more because he had to go out of my city for two weeks and then he came back, we talked everyday, Then, he came back and stayed two days instead of one before his flight left and we had sex again and then, we said goodbye. I really liked him, then he wished me happy brthday later on then I did the same next month..then we talked a lot this month in June about soccer and from time to time he was remembering or talking about the good sex we had, now lately he’s saying he might come back or things like that but he just told me about he having to take vacations and didnt know where..I ended up joking about me needing vacations too and joking here and there we said “maybe” for traveling together, not to mention he also told me if i ever went to europe i could stay at his place if i happened to go to his city…i dont know if we will end up traveling together or he’ll come back to see me…but I guess it’s just sex right? Do you think it might mean something else?

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 30, 2018 at 9:39 pm

      It is clear that he feels a strong social and emotional connection with you. He is happy with your physical relationship, and he likely wants to continue to nourish this relationship. Determine what you want for the future of this relationship. You may want to attempt to visit him, as this will strengthen your mutual feelings. Have a great day, Like!

  4. Cing

    April 17, 2018 at 8:46 am

    I have a Swiss guy who I am chatting with him for months. We know each other for years but the chatting is just happened a few months ago. When we chat, he only talked about sex ( wanna sex with me) and he wants me to get pregnant (his and mine baby) but never said love me.
    There’s no asking about like “ how your days? / how are you? ….”

    My question is what kind of person is he or is he just playing ?

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 17, 2018 at 11:12 pm

      He is interested in developing a physical relationship with you. He may be interested in developing a romantic or emotional connection with you as well. Determine what kind of relationship you want and what actions you believe are appropriate in a partner. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Cing!

  5. Lui

    March 26, 2018 at 4:18 am

    I met a Switzerland Italian guy and we hang out few times . In the conversation , he talked a lot of himself & barely ask about me .
    He never flirt with me nor compliments me but he will always ask me out to hang out .
    What is that mean ?

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 26, 2018 at 9:57 pm

      It is possible that he is self absorbed. It is clear that he thinks about himself a lot. Take this time to determine what kind of partner that you want in a relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. You may choose to no longer speak with him. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Have a great day, Lui!

  6. Stefani

    March 5, 2018 at 4:15 pm

    Hello!
    4 days ago I met a Swiss guy and we really match, he’s like my man version 😁
    He’s friend of a friend of mine. We went out the same night only us (he and me), stay together (no sex), was amazing. Then, I told him that we should sleep. I slept on the sofa and him in his room. In the early (too early) I took my staffs and come home. Didn’t asked his number and he neither.
    And he didn’t call me (he could ask my number to our friends, his flatmates) or looked for me. He always goes skiing on weekends, but when came back… nothing.

    I perfectly know that when we want something we do everything to have it.
    But deeply in the deep I think maybe also he thinks I’m not interested considering that I’ve not done nothing to meet him again and left his house in early morning without say nothing.

    My question is: should I ask his number and send a message? Take the first step? Because anyway I think swiss in general are really reserved and I don’t know if in this way I’ll just made the situation worse…

    Thank you

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 6, 2018 at 8:44 pm

      It is certainly possible that he is interested in developing a relationship. Cultural differences may influence this relationship. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him an opportunity to share himself with you as well. Attempt to let his personal actions influence your decisions and actions. Have a great day, Stefani!

  7. jaja

    May 15, 2017 at 9:18 am

    Im dating with a swiss guy,weve been chatting for 2 years,last 2015 weve meet in person then were having sex then he goes to other place ,he said that he just enjoying his vacation.then our communication continue then 2016 he went to thai for vacation again,but this year he decided to have a vacation and meet me and were being together for 3 days,dating,bonding together,sharing then again he went again to another place , and i understand him and i want to enjoy his vacation leave…i dont want to expect anything from him but my question is,Is he wants me to know better?or just one of his collection?

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 15, 2017 at 11:46 am

      I don’t know if he even knows what he wants. It seems like he enjoys talking to you and being around you. The distance aspect could just be getting in the way of him wanting something more. There is no way to know if this will be something more or if he would like it to be something more. As long as the relationship works for you, keep it going and find out where the relationship can go. If you are tired of waiting around though, I am sure he would understand if you want to move on. Good luck, Jaja!

    • Valera 1602

      May 24, 2017 at 10:53 am

      He is not serious about you, he just wants a casual thing. You should forget about him and stop loosing your time hoping he will like you more and start getting serious with you. You should find a man in your area that is not traveling all the time, and has time to really know you in a serious way. And you should first know him and stay abstinent, or he will take advantage of you. And better wait until marriage. Then you can know the man how he really is and have a friendship first, because without it, no marriage can last, and you will not be overwhelmed by your feelings, but can chose a good faithful man who will take you seriously and value you. This guy is not serious about you at all, he just wants some fun.

      • web admin

        web admin

        May 25, 2017 at 9:11 am

        That sounds like pretty good insight. I am sure that Jaja will appreciate getting the extra advice. Thanks for commenting, Valera 1602!

  8. merve

    June 29, 2016 at 6:03 am

    I met my boyfriend (now husband) in erasmus. He is swiss and at the beginning it was hard to get along little bit. He was cold but more and more we got close and we are the best team ever with two lille babies. Never met such a loving, loyal and caring person. The best for me 🙂

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 30, 2016 at 2:06 pm

      Thank you for your positive post and your readership! Feel free to share any positive stories that you have!

    • Ashley Santos

      February 1, 2017 at 8:49 am

      Hi Merve, I want to ask some tips and advice about swiss man since you married one. I’ve been talking with this swiss guy since December last year. He told me He likes me, that I look good and all then planned a date but because it was holiday season our schedules doesn’t meet. But this year our communication is more on consistent than last year. But yeah base on the blogs that I’ve read he is kinda cold and distant like today while talking he’ll be flirty and all then the next day he becomes stiff again and casual. I wanna know if he really likes me or what and what are the keys points to know if he’s really into me, advice for our upcoming date.

      Hope to hear from you soon!

      Thank you!

      • web admin

        web admin

        February 1, 2017 at 1:48 pm

        You may find that people, both men and women, from all over the world can be both hot and cold. You will find that further communication will best serve you. Speak with him about your thoughts and feelings and take time to learn about his goals and ideas. Best of luck, Ashley!

  9. Confused

    May 24, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    I had dream of my crush we were so much in love, but now I see him driving away

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 25, 2015 at 4:42 pm

      Have you ever been left in real life? Often, dreams of a loved one leaving indicate a worry that the people you love will leave in real life. You may have hidden concerns that your crush will love you, but grow disinterested over time.

      Fortunately, dreams like this seldom reflect the real world. Instead, they just indicate how you feel and your own worries. They do not show how your crush feels about you, or what he will do in the future. The best thing that you can do is go after him now! Flirt with him, hang out together or ask him out! You will never know what your relationship will be unless you test it out.

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