Dating Finnish Men

By on April 1, 2015

As I come from Sweden I have met a Finnish man or two in my life and my dad’s girlfriend of over ten years is Finnish, so I have some knowledge about the Finns. If you re curious, read on…

They Aren’t Latinos

dating Finnish men

Right, this is obvious, I’m sure. The point I’m making is that whilst Latin guys tend to get physical within five minutes of making your acquaintance and shower you in hugs, kisses and compliments, Finns are quite the opposite. It’s been said that even making a Finn talk is quite a feat.

Now, this is a gross generalization, I have to admit. Not least because my dad’s girlfriend is very, very chatty. Once you get to know her. The same can be said for many Finnish men, but on the whole they are not the most talkative men you’ll ever come across. Something about long, cold, dark winters maybe?

On the upside Finns tend to make friends for life and when they do say something they mean it. This is not necessarily the case for the Latinos.

There’s Always Vodka

If you want to make a Finnish man talk, there’s always vodka. Don’t overdo it, just give him enough to get him to open his mouth.

They Love Ice

If you date a Finnish man it might so happen that you learn to ice skate. After all, there are a lot of frozen lakes in winter in Finland. If you are a bit unstable on your feet, he will surely help you learn to skate better, which can be romantic as you will hold onto him for dear life making your way on the ice.

What’s more, is that the Finns like saunas. This in turn means that they love running into icy lakes in winter after having had a sauna. Sometimes they also roll around in the snow. And here’s the catch: they are often naked when they do it. Being naked is not something one makes much of a fuss about in Scandinavia. It is, as we say, natural.

If your man starts beating you with a branch of birch or similar in the sauna he is not trying to abuse you. It’s merely an old tradition of getting the blood flowing even more in the hot air.

They Won’t Be Pushy

Chances are if you meet a Finn he is not going to rapidly approach you and chat you up. You might have to be fairly persistent to get him to make a move. You see, in the Nordic countries there is this idea that men who approach women are trying to impose themselves on them, which is seen as sleazy and rude. So if you see a man you like, don’t be scared to really flirt with him. Don’t throw yourself at him, however. Remember that the Finns aren’t the most “warm” people you will ever meet. He will consider you crazy if you launch yourself at him like a missile.

If he’s had some vodka however he might approach you. Or just start dancing with you on the dance floor. It’s just a far cry from the American men who will march up to you and offer to pay for a drink.

They Won’t Pay

Equality in the Nordic countries is humongous. So just as a Finnish man will consider it rude to take charge and approach you, he will think it rude to constantly pay for you. From time to time it might be a gesture of kindness to offer to pay, but as a general rule, you pay for what you bought.

There Isn’t a Dating Culture

In general you meet, you hang out and you become an item. The idea of taking someone on dates till time immortal just doesn’t occur to the Finns. Just because you are a couple though, it doesn’t mean it’s serious. It simply means you are trying it out.

It also happens people meet in a night club and a one night stand turns into something more. You then usually meet for coffee a few days later. In general if someone is interested in you, chances are they suggest you meet up for a coffee. This doesn’t mean it’s a date, nor that it isn’t a date. It’s a coffee. To see where things go.

1507760_10152392614860079_8379465670289960282_n copy 2By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery


  1. Avatar


    June 11, 2019 at 8:54 am

    i have been knowing this finnish guy for a week now and we meet on a dating site.But now we are official couple and i avoid to have small talks with him i live in another country but hoping that our relationship will grow since i’m a ladyboy not a real woman and he is straight and has kids. I hope u will give some advice how to work this relationship with him since i try to study the culture and other stuff

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 11, 2019 at 9:46 pm

      He is interested in maintaining a physical relationship with you. It is possible that he may or may not be interested in nourishing an emotional relationship with you. However, you are aware that he is married. Because of this, you should not attempt to nourish a romantic relationship with him. This will harm his partner, so focus your emotional energy elsewhere. If his relationship ends and he reaches out to you in the future, then speak with him about your thoughts and feelings at that time. Have a great day, Irish!

  2. Avatar


    February 7, 2018 at 5:44 am

    Hi, I’m seeing (dating) a 34 y/o Finnish man for almost a month but we had a short chat last year around November. The first time he saw me he said he was mesmerised by me and he really likes me and same feeling with me, I just felt something magic in my heart when I saw him. After that I visited him at his apartment and stayed with him overnight and started to tell me time to time he really likes me a lot. But when I asked him about are we in a relationship or what, he just said to me ” I love you and you really mean a lot to me.”, it’s a sorr long distance for us because we lived in a different province here that’s why we are more texting each other but when I have a free time i visit him at his apartment. Sometimes, I feel that he still needs to say something or still hiding something. I really don’t know whats going on between us. But for me he is my boyfriend and I’m happy to be with him. I hope this will end up something good. I really don’t know what to do to really get his attention and love.

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 7, 2018 at 12:39 pm

      Long distance relationships may be difficult. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. You may find benefit in spending time with him in person. Make a plan for the two of you to meet in person, as this will strengthen your relationship. Have a great day, Cloie!

      • Avatar


        February 7, 2018 at 11:53 pm

        Most of the time, I’m doing the first move to text me. He is not texting me unless I texted him. It gives me second thoughts but when he is with me he is clingy. Maybe Finns are not fun of texting. I hope he will be transparent to me he will tell everything to me and stay loyal. As of now, I think he’s still hiding something to me.

        • web admin

          web admin

          February 8, 2018 at 7:05 pm

          Some people are better at communicating in person, some are better at electronic communication. Share your thoughts and feelings with him. You may find benefit in spending additional time with him in person. If you want to nourish this relationship, then make a plan to meet with him. Have a great day, Cloie!

  3. Avatar


    January 20, 2018 at 11:25 am

    I met a finn over a year ago and while he was in my country he went out with me every free time he had sometimes we spent the entire day together since breakfast until breakfast next day, he introduced me to his friends back then and we’ve been texting almost every day for this past year. He is very flirty and even asked me to go to the hotel with him but he hasn’t even kissed me so I asked him what was going on and he said that he liked me a lot, more than a friend but not enough for something else, huh? He keeps insinuating that I can move to Finland so we could do so many things together and still flirts. So I asked again and he said that he likes me. So does he want a Best Friend or what? And if so, why is he so flirty? And also asks me for pictures of myself.

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 20, 2018 at 10:04 pm

      He is interested in developing a physical relationship with you. He may be interested in developing an emotional relationship with you. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Sara!

  4. Avatar


    November 1, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    Hello! So I’m dating a finnish guy. We went on a trip together. A lot of strangers asked us if we’re together, when it was his turn to answer, he turned to me to ask “are you my girlfriend?” but I just laughed. And so we had the “where are we in the relationship” talk. He said for him we are already in a relationship, and that I am his girlfriend. But then when I asked him if he could commit in a real relationship even after the trip, he said it’s probably impossible because we’re long distance but asked more time to think about us when we’re separated. So i asked if that means that once the trip ends, it’s also same as “breaking up”, and he said yes. I find the idea absurd but I also know that he was sincerely having a hard time knowing if he could really commit or not. He’s always been honest with me. We’ve also never had sex and that’s because I said I don’t want to yet and he respected it, but we did kiss and slept on the same bed. We both admitted we like each other. I told him that if we cannot be in a relationship, might as well end as friends but he doesn’t like the idea. but I want to know if I should take this as a sign to move on and not expect anything from him anymore?

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 2, 2017 at 6:44 pm

      It is likely that he is unwilling or unable to establish a long distance relationship. Take this time to determine if you willing to establish a strong friendship with him. If you can not remain his friend, then do not attempt to reach out to him. However, there is no reason that you can not continue to nourish a friendship with him. Have a great day, Melicia!

  5. Avatar


    October 20, 2017 at 10:35 am

    Hi! Thank you so much for this wonderful article! I can’t say I’m dating this Finnish guy but we’ve already met in person once and he’s been in constant communication with me via viber since. I can feel his honesty in his messages, and we’ve been having personal and deep conversations too. The thing is, he invited me to go on trip with him and I said yes, but I made it clear to him that I have no plans to sleep with him, and he said he respects it and he would never do anything I don’t want. Now he asked me to go on a fine dinning date with him during the trip because he said he just really wants to have that dinner with me. How should I interpret this? Could this be a sign that he’s serious about me?

    also, I should add, he’ll be back to Finland by end of December while I live in Asia because his contract here will end then.

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 20, 2017 at 8:38 pm

      Take this time to determine what you want for your relationship. Decide what you would like to see for the future of your relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him a chance to share himself with you as well. This will help the two of you make the proper course of action. Have a great day, Grace!

  6. Avatar


    October 13, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    Okay so I’ve met this Finnish guy when he visited my country, we went out on a date once, had a little chat and he made a move to kiss me. He flew to another country the next day but still continues to talk to me every hour of everyday since via messenger. We talk about almost everything and I am almost sure he’s been really honest with me. He’s flying back to my country just to meet me again. I want to know what this might mean? He never said he likes me but he’s cheesy and sweet to me at times. I dont want to scare him by asking him that question directly so I want to at least have an idea as to how I should see our situation, so I’d know I wouldn’t ruin anything we have at the moment by asking him if he likes me or not.

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 14, 2017 at 8:39 am

      If he is taking the time to visit you again, then he is interested in developing a relationship with you. He may be interested in having a long distance relationship. He may be thinking about moving toward your country. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to establish a relationship with him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Helen!

  7. Avatar


    March 15, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    Hi:) I’ve been communicating with a Finnish guy for some time and we have become a sort of a couple although we live in different countries. He’s always been caring and kind, and not only confessed in love but also did some nice things too (I mean he seems to love me not only on words) and what is more he always seemed to be honest with me. But there is a situation that really pisses me off: he is communicating with his ex-girlfriend, and can spend several days with her, for example travel somewhere. He doesn’t hide it from me and says that nothing to worry about and they are friends only, but it’s very difficult for me to accept this, maybe because in my culture it is a bit different and generally I don’t believe in friendship between a man and a woman without any feelings from somebody’s side. Moreover when he is with her he almost doesn’t pay any attention to me. Well, is it a matter to worry about? Can it be real friendship if he says so or it’s not ok even for Finnish guys to spend a few days in a trip with their ex-beloved ones?

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 16, 2017 at 2:01 pm

      You will want to speak with him about your concerns. It is possible that they are only friends, and it is possible that there is something more. Your feelings are reasonable. If he blows off your concerns, then you may want to determine if you are willing to have a relationship with him. Take this time to look inward and choose what course of action that you want to follow. Best of luck, Lora!

    • Avatar


      May 26, 2017 at 1:26 pm

      as a finnish 24y/o male i have traveled with my ex-girlfriend in boat cruise for couple days because her cousin is married to my brother and its a long story and not the only one but if they actively plan trips together it does sound suspicius but thats only my opinion and my own experience so take it how you want 🙂

      • web admin

        web admin

        May 28, 2017 at 9:37 am

        You might be right about that. It is rather suspicious. Thanks for commenting, Finnboy!

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