Dating Finnish Men

By on April 1, 2015






As I come from Sweden I have met a Finnish man or two in my life and my dad’s girlfriend of over ten years is Finnish, so I have some knowledge about the Finns. If you re curious, read on…

They Aren’t Latinos

dating Finnish men

Right, this is obvious, I’m sure. The point I’m making is that whilst Latin guys tend to get physical within five minutes of making your acquaintance and shower you in hugs, kisses and compliments, Finns are quite the opposite. It’s been said that even making a Finn talk is quite a feat.

Now, this is a gross generalization, I have to admit. Not least because my dad’s girlfriend is very, very chatty. Once you get to know her. The same can be said for many Finnish men, but on the whole they are not the most talkative men you’ll ever come across. Something about long, cold, dark winters maybe?

On the upside Finns tend to make friends for life and when they do say something they mean it. This is not necessarily the case for the Latinos.

There’s Always Vodka

If you want to make a Finnish man talk, there’s always vodka. Don’t overdo it, just give him enough to get him to open his mouth.

They Love Ice

If you date a Finnish man it might so happen that you learn to ice skate. After all, there are a lot of frozen lakes in winter in Finland. If you are a bit unstable on your feet, he will surely help you learn to skate better, which can be romantic as you will hold onto him for dear life making your way on the ice.

What’s more, is that the Finns like saunas. This in turn means that they love running into icy lakes in winter after having had a sauna. Sometimes they also roll around in the snow. And here’s the catch: they are often naked when they do it. Being naked is not something one makes much of a fuss about in Scandinavia. It is, as we say, natural.

If your man starts beating you with a branch of birch or similar in the sauna he is not trying to abuse you. It’s merely an old tradition of getting the blood flowing even more in the hot air.

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They Won’t Be Pushy

Chances are if you meet a Finn he is not going to rapidly approach you and chat you up. You might have to be fairly persistent to get him to make a move. You see, in the Nordic countries there is this idea that men who approach women are trying to impose themselves on them, which is seen as sleazy and rude. So if you see a man you like, don’t be scared to really flirt with him. Don’t throw yourself at him, however. Remember that the Finns aren’t the most “warm” people you will ever meet. He will consider you crazy if you launch yourself at him like a missile.

If he’s had some vodka however he might approach you. Or just start dancing with you on the dance floor. It’s just a far cry from the American men who will march up to you and offer to pay for a drink.

They Won’t Pay

Equality in the Nordic countries is humongous. So just as a Finnish man will consider it rude to take charge and approach you, he will think it rude to constantly pay for you. From time to time it might be a gesture of kindness to offer to pay, but as a general rule, you pay for what you bought.

There Isn’t a Dating Culture

In general you meet, you hang out and you become an item. The idea of taking someone on dates till time immortal just doesn’t occur to the Finns. Just because you are a couple though, it doesn’t mean it’s serious. It simply means you are trying it out.

It also happens people meet in a night club and a one night stand turns into something more. You then usually meet for coffee a few days later. In general if someone is interested in you, chances are they suggest you meet up for a coffee. This doesn’t mean it’s a date, nor that it isn’t a date. It’s a coffee. To see where things go.

1507760_10152392614860079_8379465670289960282_n copy 2By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery





62 Comments

  1. Grace

    October 20, 2017 at 10:35 am

    Hi! Thank you so much for this wonderful article! I can’t say I’m dating this Finnish guy but we’ve already met in person once and he’s been in constant communication with me via viber since. I can feel his honesty in his messages, and we’ve been having personal and deep conversations too. The thing is, he invited me to go on trip with him and I said yes, but I made it clear to him that I have no plans to sleep with him, and he said he respects it and he would never do anything I don’t want. Now he asked me to go on a fine dinning date with him during the trip because he said he just really wants to have that dinner with me. How should I interpret this? Could this be a sign that he’s serious about me?

    also, I should add, he’ll be back to Finland by end of December while I live in Asia because his contract here will end then.

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 20, 2017 at 8:38 pm

      Take this time to determine what you want for your relationship. Decide what you would like to see for the future of your relationship. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Give him a chance to share himself with you as well. This will help the two of you make the proper course of action. Have a great day, Grace!

  2. Helen

    October 13, 2017 at 9:22 pm

    Okay so I’ve met this Finnish guy when he visited my country, we went out on a date once, had a little chat and he made a move to kiss me. He flew to another country the next day but still continues to talk to me every hour of everyday since via messenger. We talk about almost everything and I am almost sure he’s been really honest with me. He’s flying back to my country just to meet me again. I want to know what this might mean? He never said he likes me but he’s cheesy and sweet to me at times. I dont want to scare him by asking him that question directly so I want to at least have an idea as to how I should see our situation, so I’d know I wouldn’t ruin anything we have at the moment by asking him if he likes me or not.

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 14, 2017 at 8:39 am

      If he is taking the time to visit you again, then he is interested in developing a relationship with you. He may be interested in having a long distance relationship. He may be thinking about moving toward your country. Take this time to determine what you want for your future. If you want to establish a relationship with him, then speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. Have a great day, Helen!

  3. Lora

    March 15, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    Hi:) I’ve been communicating with a Finnish guy for some time and we have become a sort of a couple although we live in different countries. He’s always been caring and kind, and not only confessed in love but also did some nice things too (I mean he seems to love me not only on words) and what is more he always seemed to be honest with me. But there is a situation that really pisses me off: he is communicating with his ex-girlfriend, and can spend several days with her, for example travel somewhere. He doesn’t hide it from me and says that nothing to worry about and they are friends only, but it’s very difficult for me to accept this, maybe because in my culture it is a bit different and generally I don’t believe in friendship between a man and a woman without any feelings from somebody’s side. Moreover when he is with her he almost doesn’t pay any attention to me. Well, is it a matter to worry about? Can it be real friendship if he says so or it’s not ok even for Finnish guys to spend a few days in a trip with their ex-beloved ones?

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 16, 2017 at 2:01 pm

      You will want to speak with him about your concerns. It is possible that they are only friends, and it is possible that there is something more. Your feelings are reasonable. If he blows off your concerns, then you may want to determine if you are willing to have a relationship with him. Take this time to look inward and choose what course of action that you want to follow. Best of luck, Lora!

    • Finnboy

      May 26, 2017 at 1:26 pm

      as a finnish 24y/o male i have traveled with my ex-girlfriend in boat cruise for couple days because her cousin is married to my brother and its a long story and not the only one but if they actively plan trips together it does sound suspicius but thats only my opinion and my own experience so take it how you want 🙂

      • web admin

        web admin

        May 28, 2017 at 9:37 am

        You might be right about that. It is rather suspicious. Thanks for commenting, Finnboy!

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