What to Do When You Are Crushing on a Co-worker
Love is rarely a straight forward journey, which leads to amazing romantic comedies and less amazing real life situations. Though, of course, the real life situations are just like the ones in the comedies, only in real life they feel kind of different. Like when you spill hot coffee all over yourself at work because your crush just went by. But if you only see the comedy in it, you might even find yourself amused…
There are ways to deal with having a crush on coworker that will help you out. Here are a few.
1. Establish What Kind of Crush It Is
It’s happened to all of us – we see a man as hot as a sauna and suddenly we lose all our senses. It might not be the looks per say, but there’s just something about him…something delicious, scrumptious, mouthwateringly wonderful. And suddenly we lose our head. The thing is, just because we are attracted to someone doesn’t mean we will end up falling in love with them. We might think we are in love with them, but unless you truly know someone, you can’t truly be in love with them. Some people who are great at work, have a private life that’s a circus. Some people who are great at being co-workers stink as friends. And remember that crush you had in fifth grade? Chances are your co-worker whom you are now crushing on is not the same person. That means feelings often change.
My point is this: don’t lose your head (and heart) till you really get to know this guy. Attractions can flare up in an instant and disappear a second later.
2. Get Perspective
To help you figure out if this crush of yours is really worth the time of day, go away for a long weekend and do something else with other people. Clear your mind. Fill your diary with after work commitments, be it the gym, courses, or hanging out with friends. Get enough distraction to know that your mind hasn’t just gotten stuck on this guy because there is nothing else to think about.
3. Focus on Work
Sure it will be exciting at break time as you might have a chance to have lunch with him, or you may end up having after work drinks with him some days. Don’t let it take you away from work though. You have a future ahead of you – don’t let one guy stand between you and your goal of scoring your dream career.
4. Consider the Consequences
Is this guy worth potentially losing your job, or being stuck in a job with him if things go sour? Remember the line in Bridget Jones’ Diary where she tells her new employer the reason she left her job is because she shagged the boss? Mhm.
5. Take It Slow
If you figure it’s worth exploring your feelings for this guy, you already have a healthy social life, you know you aren’t thinking about him simply because there is nothing else to think about and you are aware of the consequences, then it’s time to make a move.
The best move? Get to know him. You pretty soon get a feel for whether there is chemistry or not with someone, but don’t get lost in the flirting and the butterflies – rather really get to know the guy. Take it very slow so that you don’t get fooled by any sexual attraction, or the idea of an exciting fling. Emotions can very quickly blind you to who a person truly is and in this case you can’t afford being fooled.
Get to know him slowly, without any kind of sexual affair at first. The best way to gauge if you truly like someone is to become their friend first – by all means flirt, but don’t go to bed with him. If he can’t wait a month to get laid, he isn’t worth it. Your job, on the other hand, is worth taking it slow for a month for.
6. Fireproof Your Job
Thought you were working hard before? Now, if any time, is the best time to make sure you are indispensable at work. If something goes wrong with this guy, you don’t want to have messed up work too.
7. Remember Your Life
You might have had perspective, taken it slow and figured you really like this guy and it’s worth the risk. If you start dating him, still remember to keep a busy social life. Don’t suddenly forget all your friends. Remember your work and love life are now tied together so if something goes wrong at work, it will affect your relationship and vice versa. It’s therefore even more important to have a happy social life and stay grounded in yourself, come rain, come shine.
Image source: Pinterest.com
By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery