20 Relationship Compatibility Questions

By on December 8, 2013

Whether you’re dating someone casually, or in a new relationship, the time will come when you want to know where the relationship is going. To figure out if you’re well matched as a couple, ask each other these important questions and compare answers. The more your goals and preferences align, the better the chances are that you will be a good match for each other.

1. Do you believe in love, and long term relationships?

This is a very important question – if you intend on having a long term relationship with someone, it’s best to know early on whether they are prepared to commit to one person, or whether they’re not ready to settle down quite yet.


2. Would you like to get married and have children sometime in the future?

 This may seem like an awkward question to ask a new boyfriend, but it’s a good one to get out of the way before your relationship gets serious. Keep this question lighthearted and non-judgmental, and try not to make any major decisions based on the answer to this question alone.


3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Do you see yourself with your partner in 5 years time? Do you want to move away to study or work? Getting a general idea of your boyfriend’s future plans can help you to make difficult decisions when the time comes.


4. Do you think it’s important to speak to your girlfriend/boyfriend every day?

 Sometimes arguments happen because we have mismatching expectations in our relationships. Find out what your partner thinks about how often you should contact each other, before you misunderstand their lack of contact.


5. Do you prefer going out at night on weekends, or staying in and watching movies?

 Although it’s great to have different interests and hobbies, it may be difficult if your boyfriend is out partying every weekend while you sit at home, wondering what he’s up to. Having a few common interests and shared activities that you can bond over is crucial to having a happy relationship.


6. Is religion important to you?

 Religion can complicate even the best relationships. Find out if you are on the same page as your partner when it comes to religion, and get to know a bit more about their beliefs and their upbringing.


7. What do you look for in a future girlfriend/boyfriend? 

 This is a good question to ask someone you’d like to start a relationship with, especially if you haven’t revealed your feelings to them yet. If your crush describes someone exactly like you, chances are he feels the same way!


8. Do you consider yourself a jealous person? 

 Excessive jealousy is not an attractive trait, and it can be a warning sign that someone may be controlling in a relationship. Find out what your partner thinks about having friends of the opposite sex, and whether they’d trust you going out without them.


9. What’s your longest relationship to date? 

Knowing your partner’s relationship history can give you a little bit of insight into their level of experience with love and commitment. If they’ve never had a serious relationship, or have had a series of flings, you may want to change your approach and your expectations in your new relationship.


10. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done?

 Find out whether your new boyfriend is a hopeless romantic or a sensible, down-to-earth guy by asking him about the most romantic thing he’s ever done. Hopefully you’ll be pleasantly surprised!


11. Have you ever been in love? 

 Has your new man ever been in love? Has he had his heart broken? In order to bond emotionally with someone, it helps to know what they’ve experienced, and how it has affected them.


12. What would your ideal career be? 

 This is a great compatibility question, as you each get to speak about your goals, aspirations, and plans for the future. Your partner may reveal their passion for a certain career path, or a dream job that they hope to land one day.


13. How important is family to you?

 This is a very important question, as once you’re dating, your partner may spend a substantial amount of time with his family instead of with you. He may also prioritize his family over your relationships, depending how close he is to them. Alternatively, he may be keen for you to meet his family!


14. Which do you value more – beauty, or intelligence?

 This is quite a difficult question, and the answer can reveal a lot about someone’s values. Compare your answers to see if you have similar values and beliefs.


15. Why did your last relationship end?

 This is a bit of a tricky question, as it brings up exes and it may be a little awkward. However, being honest about mistakes in past relationships can bring you closer and build trust.


16. What do you think about celebrating anniversaries/Valentines Day?

 This is another good question to get out of the way relatively early on, to avoid unnecessary disappointment and resentment. Once you know how your partner feels about celebrating events like anniversaries, you will know what to expect – no unpleasant surprises when he turns up empty handed on V-day!


17. Are you friends with any of your exes? 

 This may be a deal breaker for some people, and a total non-issue for others. You need to decide early on if you will be able to deal with your new boyfriend seeing his ex regularly if they are still friends.


18. What’s your idea of a romantic getaway? 

 This can be a fun question, as you can share your fantasies and dreams whilst flirting to your heart’s content. If you like your partner’s answer, chances are you share similar feelings about romance and romantic gestures.


19. Would you be able to deal with a long distance relationship?

 Sometimes the timing is just not on your side, and you may have to keep your relationship going over long distance. Long distance relationships are not easy, and if you have a feeling that you may need to do long distance, you should think very hard about your decision.


20. What are your views on PDAs? 

 Some people simply don’t like public displays of affection (PDAs). Instead of assuming that your boyfriend is ashamed of you because he won’t kiss you in public, ask him whether displays of public affection make him feel self-conscious or uncomfortable.


Hopefully these questions will be helpful the next time you want to know if your new guy is your perfect match, or someone you’d prefer not to start a long term relationship with.

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