10 Signs You Are in a One Sided Relationship
Some guys are only half way into a relationship and not the least serious about it. Others don’t know how to be in a relationship and therefore think they are, when really, they aren’t doing anything to give the relationship the energy it needs to survive. If you are with a guy you want a future with you have to ensure he is going to put in the time and effort a relationship needs to survive and thrive.
1. He Never Talks About the Future
No one knows where a relationship will head when it first starts out, but we all know where we would want it to head if it continues to be good. If you find a person who makes you feel like you are flying you will usually daydream about them, even if you know it might not turn out that way. He doesn’t have to plan for it in the begining, but if your man doesn’t dream about a future with you, it usually means he doesn’t want it.
2. He Does Not Invite You to Outings with His Friends or Family
It’s all well to go with you on dates, have some fun, stay the night, but when it comes to actively involving you in his life your guy doesn’t seem too keen. Whether it’s bringing you to job functions, or introducing you to friends and family, your boyfriend is avoiding it.
Whilst he might avoid introducing you to his family and friends at first, after some time this should happen – you want the people you love to meet each other. If you don’t, chances are you aren’t serious about being in a relationship with them. On the odd occasion there is family trouble and that’s why he wouldn’t introduce you, but apart from that one situation, guys usually like showing off women they are in love with.
3. He Rarely Spoils You
Whether with a massage after a hard day, or ensuring there’s time for a date night, a guy who cares shows it. Not necessarily in the way you would want him to (give him The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman if he needs to learn), but he does show it somehow. If he doesn’t put any energy into looking after you, then chances are he is either completely clueless, or he just doesn’t care enough.
4. He Never Really Takes Time to Share and Listen
Some guys aren’t particularly great at sharing what’s going on in their life and if they are a bit emotionally closed they might not automatically think to ask what’s going on for you either. However, if a guy doesn’t show a genuine interest in talking to you and sharing what’s going on in his life, even the trivial stuff, is it really going to last? You want someone to care about you and therefore your life, as well as let you in on theirs. Whilst some people take longer to open up than others, they still have to show a willingness to do so, whether it’s easy for them or not.
5. He Disrespects You
If a guy continuously puts you down, it’s not a happy relationship, it’s abuse. A man can want to help you with anything from pointing out your weight is going down or up at an alarming rate, to saying that socially you have to learn something so as to be able to better connect with others. There are touchy subjects we all, well, touch upon, during the span of a relationship. There are different reasons for doing so though. A man should want to uplift you. Support you. Bring out the best in you. If he is more like a bully pointing out everything that’s wrong with you and making sure you feel inadequate, then he’s not the guy for you.
6. He Constantly Breaks Agreements
Whether you have planned a date night he doesn’t show up for, he is always an hour late for dinner, or he doesn’t take the time to call when away in business, if a guy constantly breaks agreements, is he really that into you? He might have a habit of being late, or he might be terrible at communicating via the phone, some guys are like that. However, if he does not seem to want to communicate with you at all, if he doesn’t seem to miss you when away (and I’m not talking about having his own time – we all need that) and if he keeps skipping out on date nights you have planned together, or never takes the time to plan a date, is he really worth it? You want a guy who makes time for you and truly enjoys being around you.
7. He Dodges the Problems
Every relationship will have its problems. As soon as there are two people there are two wills. At some point or another, you will want slightly different things, whether in the home, the overall relationship, or life in general. You might also simply perceive the same situation differently and thereby misunderstand each other.
To have a relationship you have to be willing to work through these problems. You have to be willing to look at life through each other’s eyes. If your boyfriend completely ignore you when you point out something you perceive as a problem, or has no willingness to do anything about it, you are pretty much in a one sided relationship. Given, of course, that you don’t decide to see everything as a problem.
8. He Only Wants You to be Able to Show You Off
Ever had the kind of guy that seems to think you are an accessory? He wants you to come with him to functions wearing high heels and cute little dresses, but he isn’t so keen to get emotional or share any other parts of your life with you. He needs an escort, not a girlfriend.
9. He Is Emotionally Distant
Everyone has some form of emotional baggage – some scar that might hurt at some point. However, if a guy never expresses his love in any way, it’s like being in a relationship with a wall – it gives nothing at all back to you. It’s a one sided relationship, in other words. Usually this is because he doesn’t care enough. Or, if he does care, then it’s time for a visit to the psychologist, or you will be in a one sided relationship forever, whether he loves you or not.
10. He Says No to Anything You Want to Do
Relationships come with some level of compromise, as well as giving each other space to pursue the things you love that may not be mutual interests. A guy who wants his way at every turn isn’t really in a relationship with anyone but himself.
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By Maria Montgomery – Maria is a freelance writer, director and social entrepreneur. She’s also the spokesperson for The Little Angels Community Center and an avid blogger. You can find her somewhere between Cape Town, London and L.A., where you will most likely find her in the hills, looking out over the city she loves. @OhMyMontgomery