10 Signs of Guilt

By on January 31, 2014

Each person is different, so the signs of cheating or guilt may be different. No matter what, most people will experience guilt after they cheat on a partner. They may show signs of guilt by suddenly being distant or angry. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may also stop paying attention to you or make excuses to avoid being around.


His Attitude Makes a Major Switch

Sometimes, people have a drastic mood change because of tension at work or a death in the family. If there is not an outside cause for the attitude change, it could be a sign that your partner feels guilty. He may feel pulled in two directions and need to be in two places at once. To do this, he may create arguments so he can escape early and be with the other woman. In addition, he may start to complain about your habits or appearance. When someone cheats, they want to find a reason to justify their behavior. If possible, he will try to put the blame on you instead of on his own actions.

Emotionally Distant

When someone is in love or interested in two people at once, it takes away from the intimacy that they can have with you. They use this distance to create a shield and keep you from discovering their infidelity. Sudden emotional distance is a sign of guilt.


Acts Guilty

This obvious behavior is a sign of infidelity. When your partner feels guilty, they may suddenly give you more compliments, attention or presents. This is done to assuage their conscience. Another guilty behavior can actually be sudden modesty. You may tell your partner how smart, attractive or kind they are. When they are plagued with guilt, they will deflect these compliments because they know the truth.

Unusual Behavior

A cheating spouse or boyfriend may suddenly exhibit strange, secretive behaviors. They may try to hide where they were or what they were doing. When you enter the living room, they may suddenly switch to a different computer screen or stop sending a text message.

He Is Never Around

While you may have spent all of your waking hours together in the past, he is suddenly never around when you expect him to be. He may make up excuses like workouts, fitness training or traveling for work. Although these reasons may all be legitimate, it could be an indicator that something else is going on. This will only become worse over time if the reason is another woman. As they become close, she will demand more time. In addition, he may try to stay away out of guilt.


No Longer Says “I Love You”

Although some relationships avoid talking about emotional matters, most people say “I love you” on a frequent basis. New relationships may take a while to work up to this level of emotional expression. In these cases, you should not worry too much. If a long-term boyfriend or spouse suddenly stops expressing his love, it could be a sign of guilt.

Spends More Time With Friends

If your spouse or partner is cheating, they will want to avoid confronting you about it. Instead, they will try to spend more time with their friends. They may suddenly start having a string of football games or sporting events that they just “have to go to” with their friends.

Changes in Appearances

There is a reason that couples gain weight after they have been together for a long time. When you are comfortable with someone and well-loved, you do not worry as much about how you look. In comparison, single individuals tend to spend more time fixing their hair, working out and generally improving the way they look. Your husband or boyfriend may suddenly adopt a new clothing style or start to work out. He may change colognes or even start dressing differently for work. Although some changes in appearance could amount to nothing, they could also be the sign of something else.


He Often Is Unreachable

In the past, he may have always texted or called you back if his phone was off. If he suddenly stops answering, it could be a sign of something else. He could be in a business meeting, but it is unlikely that he is unable to reach his phone all the time. His sudden unavailability is about more than just hiding that he is with another woman. He needs to be unreachable so that he does not have to return home so soon. The only way to do that is keep his phone off when he does not want to rush home to you.

Listen to Your Gut

Without proof, it is easy to dismiss doubts or concerns. If your gut says something is off, listen to it. It may not be a sign of a guilt or another woman. Your gut reaction could indicate that he is suddenly not interested or your relationship is nearing an end. Listen to your instincts because the changes in your partner will be subtle.


  1. Avatar

    Carlton Hanson

    April 3, 2020 at 12:53 pm

    I do not normally interfere in others lives however I am submitting this on behalf of a good friend of mine. I am worried he is making a huge mistake and needs help. His name is Carlton.

    He got involved in an affair and left his wife, Charlotte for another woman. This news has been hard on the few people that know of the affair and him leaving. Carlton and Charlotte were so well suited for each other. Charlotte adored Carlton and I, we thought Carlton loved Charlotte as well.

    Several of us have spoken about this. Carlton has moved in with his girlfriend. We feel Carlton got wrapped up in the affair and did not truly want to leave Charlotte. Carlton’s best friend is the sister to the woman he left Charlotte for.

    Can these two wonderful people, Carlton and Charlotte be helped? This breaks my heart, and several people who know this couple. Carlton will face such embarrassment for what he has done. His daughter and granddaughters will face embarrassment and humiliation.

    Some of Carlton’s friends will not appreciate him after this all becomes common knowledge. Charlotte will not say anything at this point regarding Carlton, she will and does not speak ill of him. Can their marriage be saved? Please help them. I have included Carlton’s email for him to receive help. Thank you. I love this couple, I know they can get through this. And I know Carlton does not want to face the public humiliation of his actions. I know, we know he still loves Charlotte. How can I help my friend and stop him from losing everything? How can we help Carlton to remember his love for Charlotte and return to her? How can we help Carlton to see this affair is wrong and moving him away from his soulmate? We all know Carlton will regret not staying with Charlotte. Concerned friend.

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 4, 2020 at 11:56 pm

      It is clear that he chose to abuse the trust of his spouse. You may want to nourish your connection with his wife, as she is the one in need of emotional support at this time. If your friend realizes his error and his wife is willing to forgive him, then that may be beneficial. Of course, he has betrayed her trust in a most severe manner, and this relationship may not be salvageable. Do what you can to support his wife at this time.

  2. Avatar


    August 2, 2019 at 9:09 am

    He went really distant on me since his got this big new job. I thought was down to stress as its demanding.
    But I kind of feel his guilty of something else when I bring something up he puts the blame onto me and gets quite aggressive then avoids me for days. Is he hiding something else? or is it really due to this new job.

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 2, 2019 at 7:21 pm

      When you bring up your concerns about his behaviors, he makes the decision to become aggressive and treat you poorly. His behaviors were inappropriate and could be an indication of behaviors that you may not appreciate. Continue to monitor him. If you feel that he is doing something untoward, then address your concerns with him. If he treats you poorly or ignores you, then it is possible that this is an indication of his feelings toward you relationship. Have a great day, Kathleen!

  3. Avatar


    September 20, 2018 at 8:25 am

    I have a question

    • web admin

      web admin

      September 20, 2018 at 9:20 pm

      Please share any thoughts and feelings that you may have. Our community will support you with their insights and experiences. Have a great day, Kara!

  4. Avatar


    June 15, 2018 at 11:13 pm

    He got cold like i was a roomate i felt ugly and boring because of how he acted hed drink beer and come pull me next to him every nite then non affectionate days.. only calling me pet names then i suspected another and i was right nothing happened sexually but didnt matter her girlfriend said hes in love her then he throew me out even he didnt know i knew

    • web admin

      web admin

      June 17, 2018 at 10:37 pm

      It sounds as though this person did not treat you respect. He is in a relationship, so allow thoughts of him to fade. You are better off without a partner who chooses to abuse or neglect you. Determine what you want for your future without him. Share your kindness and compassion with the world, as this will bring positive people and energy into your life. Have a great day, Rosie!

  5. Avatar

    Badman with a big heart

    May 9, 2017 at 7:41 am

    I know that she did,she won’t admit it.
    Had his number on her cell ask her about it.put it under a friend’s name
    After seen that asked her why she said did not want to make me mad…
    Spending time with him,like lunches and after work.she works with him and still does says she likes him and fels like he cares about what she got to say…
    Married for 8 years I love her and I’m loyal and loving and a bad boy.I can handle the cheating,it’s the lies that get me trust is everything to me. It’s been 7 months sense I found out.we still have sex and talk and it feels real. She’s 5 months pregnant and I don’t know if it’s mine or if she still seeing this guy..classic
    She’s strong, smart and a good planner…..
    Just need some outside information and advice or whatever you all think good or bad it’s all good:)
    And ya she would keep the truth hidden till death.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 9, 2017 at 1:58 pm

      I would probably stop being with her. If it is the lies that you can’t stand, tell her that. Tell her that you are open to forgiving a lot if she will just tell you the truth. An estimated 9 out of 10 relationships end because of cheating, so it something that happens in a lot of relationships. If you think that she is worth it and can commit to not cheating again, then go for it. If she can’t tell the truth, can’t stop talking to the guy and can’t be faithful, then forget about her. Also, you should get a paternity test after the baby is born since you don’t actually know if it is yours or his.

    • Avatar


      April 2, 2018 at 4:25 pm

      That’s her work husband, this is very common as people spend more time with colleagues than they do at home! They may keep it at the office or be having sex, I have a lady friend now that was sleeping with an employee of hers while living with her man.All people need is space and opportunities, my friend had sex with her work husband with the office door locked and another employee found the condom. It’s possible, especially if she’s lying and hiding the number. They probably had sex already. Sorry, try couple counseling if you don’t mind the cheating. But my personal favorite flavor is mirroring, I start cheating when cheated on!It’s the old school saying , give them a taste of their own medicine.

      • web admin

        web admin

        April 2, 2018 at 8:15 pm

        Thank you for sharing your insights and experiences. Please feel free to share more of your thoughts and feelings in the future. Have a great day, Kendra!

    • Avatar


      July 13, 2019 at 8:11 am

      Maybe she didnt. How could you really be sure? Did you get a paternity test? You said she still works with him…isnt there another job somewhere? Did you ask him if they slept together?

      • web admin

        web admin

        July 13, 2019 at 3:45 pm

        Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. We always appreciate when members of our community share their supportive comments. We look forward to hearing more of your insights and experiences in the future. Have a great day, Anon!

  6. Avatar


    March 4, 2017 at 1:04 pm

    I caught my partner on a dating site i actually sent one the one he was chatting to a message n she responded back to me my partner denied he even knew of this person n since then our relationship has being bad as ever he also has two phones n the one he uses everyday most of he’s app’s are blocked n he hates if i touch he’s phone. Hes job allows him to be away most of the time sometimes two days month sometimes i try n go with him just so he can’t get up to no good as he tells me he’s not sleeping around on me i already had my proof our sex life is not good he tries to avoid me never touches me like he used to n i don’t make moves anymore as i know what he’s up to makes me sick to my stomach so he gets what he wants im not one for sitting back n taking this grap we always fight n argue n he always gets annoyed with me bringing up the same subject all the time her) i was friends with him on Facebook but noticed that i couldn’t get into any of hes comments. So now we both don’t have facebook anymore . My gut feeling tells me all the time plus he’s body language that he’s still up to no good how long till i just snap why cant he just have the balls to tell me so i can be free of this so called relationship is it because he doesn’t want me to be right about him or is he innocence n im just paranoid once bitten twice shy all the signs are there but my mind is going into over drive i can’t think straight anymore

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 5, 2017 at 10:39 am

      His behavior is making you act irrationally, which is not good for you, your relationship or him. It sounds like you do have something to be worried about, so you are not paranoid. From your description, it sounds like he has pulled away from you and mentally checked out of the relationship. He may just be chatting up women and flirting online, or he may be following through in real life. The fact that he has two phones, won’t let you see the phone and is gone enough to be up to trouble makes it seem more likely than not that he is cheating. All of this puts you in a bad position. If you ask him to show his apps and phone, it will push him away more and make him defensive. Plus, in a good relationship, you should be able to trust your partner and never need to look at their phone. If you do not look at his information and let things go, then he may continue to contemplate cheating and could still pull away from you. Honestly, it seems like the best option may be to break up with him and move on. There are obviously trust issues in the relationship and he is pulling away from you emotionally, so even if he is not cheating, it does not sound like you have the pieces there for the relationship to last. Hopefully, your next partner will be someone who you can trust and who cares for you as much as you do for him.

  7. Avatar


    August 27, 2016 at 8:55 am

    My ex started acting distant, we stopped doing couples things and i became more like a booty call. Then he was unavailable alot and spent more time with “his friends” he lied about where he was and i left him not knowing i was pregnant. A few months later when bubs was 3 months old he came clean about cheating he had 2 other women on the go one is now his girlfriend.

    • web admin

      web admin

      August 27, 2016 at 3:37 pm

      That is an awful experience to go through. On the bright side, at least that relationship is out of your life. No one deserves to go through what you dealt with with him, and it is good for you and your child that you were able to move on.

  8. Avatar


    December 27, 2015 at 8:13 pm

    This is how my boyfriend of six years has been acting. We have a 5 yr old daughter and we built a home together this year. We always lived with his family’s house or with my family or his friends house or my friends house. This year he found a great job, and we have a home of our own now.All of a sudden he’s started to act weird, he started disappearing a couple nights, found girls clothes,makeup and condom wrappers in the car. He started to become distant and avoid talking to me. He has 2 phones and hes been trying to hide it from me. He said he did not cheat on me, he said that he was doing a favor for a friend by letting him borrow the car.i cry all the time because i see hes guilty.

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 31, 2015 at 8:14 pm

      That is a difficult problem. I think that the only thing that you can do is to confront him about it. Even if a “friend” borrowed the car, why would the friend leave a girl’s clothes, make up or condom wrappers in someone else’s car? Plus, who has sex in someone else’s car and leaves around proof? How would your boyfriend explain the missing nights, the extra phone, the secrecy or the sudden emotional distance? Ask him all of these questions and demand the truth. He may still lie to you, but at least you will have everything out in the open. Afterward, you will have to decide what you want to do. Do you want to stay with him if he cheated and continued to lie to you about it? Would you be willing to turn a blind eye to his behavior if he remains adamant about not cheating? If you were to leave, would you be able to find a place to live? What do you want?

  9. Avatar


    April 21, 2015 at 9:44 pm

    I think this is all true… My husband tried to be over smart … He had affair outside… He was with that other woman outside.. I phone him and he was showering so much love on me… Later on when I call him on his phone he said he is coming back home and put the phone aside.. I dint disconnect the call and that time his other phone rang…. I was shocked when I heard he was saying to someone I love you I miss you darling… I was completely broken…

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 21, 2015 at 9:58 pm

      That sounds like a really terrible experience, Jane. The worst part is that you probably felt like a horrible, jealous person for suspecting him, but it turns out you were right. The second phone would normally be a dead giveaway, but he probably justified it by saying that it was just for work. I am really sorry that you were stuck in that sitaution–did you ever confront him about it? What are you guys going to do?

      • Avatar

        Darlene Moneypenny

        February 17, 2020 at 11:00 am

        He started acting very strange distant and then he told me he discovered he has a daughter from long ago hes totally freaked out, he showed me her picture of her little family but he still is distant infact wont talk to me at all, we have been together along time, now Im wondering if hes cheating used the situation to dump me I dont know.

        • web admin

          web admin

          February 17, 2020 at 8:19 pm

          I wouldn’t panic just yet. I can’t even begin to imagine how someone would feel after discovering that they have a child. It’d make you reevaluate your entire life and decide if you are living life in a way that you’d be proud of sharing with your child. He may also want to reach out to the child’s mom to learn more about the daughter’s life and interests. I wouldn’t assume he is cheating just yet just because this has been a major change in his life that will take some getting used to.

  10. Avatar

    Courtney Pocock

    March 19, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    A large portion of relationships have to deal with infidelities at some point. Getting past this rough time and learning to get over the guilt/betrayal is always difficult. I am sorry to hear that you had a problem with infidelities. I hope everything worked out.

  11. Avatar


    May 5, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    The third one is so true. I don’t think I’ve ever been cheated on, but I did kiss with another guy when I was together with my first boyfriend. I don’t even remember why because I liked my boyfriend a lot more than the other guy. Anyways, after the incident I acted just like you described. He couldn’t tell, though.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 12, 2015 at 6:56 pm

      A large portion of relationships have to deal with infidelities at some point. Getting past this rough time and learning to get over the guilt/betrayal is always difficult. I am sorry to hear that you had a problem with infidelities. I hope everything worked out.

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