10 Signs of a Needy Man

By on November 20, 2014

Social stigma asks women to believe that they are the ones who cling on to the relationship. But did you ever think that it might be the other way around? What if the guy you are dating is extremely mushy and sentimental, maybe even overbearing and annoying? Well, with the rise of alpha female and beta male relationships in the society, the problem with men being the needy ones is on the rise. However, we tend to ignore it more often because it has not been very common in the past.

Insecurity is the real reason for men to cling on to you – the fear of their feisty women being seduced by their coworkers, neighbors, friends, is something they just can’t shake off. Also, certain personality types are genuinely needier than others.

Find out if your guy is one of them.


1. He gets upset too often: You didn’t reply to his last text, or you didn’t text back quick enough and he is super upset. Now he expects you to pamper him, to say sweet nothings to him, and lull him back to normalcy. This is a sure sign of a man whose life depends on you. Although a very sweet notion, it can become annoying when you have really important work at hand and they are asking to be pampered at the snap of their fingers.

2. You are forbidden from seeing anyone else: So you want to have a girls’ night out? Forget it! He will offer to come along. It’s like you can’t do anything in your life without having his shadow around! And if you forbid him from coming along, then we go back to point 1: he becomes angry and distant. And on the off chance he DOES let you out for a night on the town, he’ll keep asking for details of the event every five seconds- how annoying!


3. Consistent calls and texts throughout the day: All right- there is definitely a limit to which we all can extend our affection. If he keeps texting you every hour of the day and making your phone buzz throughout the night– it is definitely an alarming sign. Not only that but he also argues that you aren’t doing anything so you could easily talk to him. Give yourself a break. Every person is entitled to their “me “time and do not let anyone emotionally manipulate you out of it.

4. Wanting to see you often and more often: So you had a tiring week and you want to lay low at home for the weekend. Well that is just not possible when you have the “Needy man” around. He wants to be there no matter what. In his mind,  he is comforting you and trying to fill your loneliness. The needy man is filled with sweet notions like that, only he doesn’t know that you actually WANT to be left alone. It is very important for everyone to realize the importance of giving a person his/her free space, but a needy man simply won’t understand that.

5. He spies on you: If a guy plays like he’s a detective, tracking your Facebook profile and following you on every social media platform available on the internet, aside from being totally scary, it’s a sure sign of a needy man. Did he know all about your favorite band on your first date? Did he know your date of birth? This may be a sign that he did a bit of personal research on you. And that’s just downright creepy.

6. He loves to fight with you: Be alarmed when your guy simply loves fighting with you. Some guys have this strange idea that they need to fight with you when they need you, and they believe that making a girl feel less of a person will make her cling on to him– but this is where they fail to keep the relationship alive. Women don’t like a man who treats them like that!

7. He is speeding fast like a rocket: Since the first date he can’t wait to be in a relationship with you. He already has plans for the future for the two of you. Men usually don’t do that, but when they do, you can be assured that he is a needy man and the rest of the needy man traits are sure to follow. He is more than ready to say goodbye to the early stages of romance- going on dates, sharing memories- and jump right into engagement and moving in together. HUGE red flag!


8. He needs to be reassured over and over: This man simply doesn’t believe that the feelings you have for him are real. You have to keep telling him over and over again, or you have to keep proving your love to him by doing little gestures for him. Deeply he is very insecure and needs to feel secure with his feelings.

9. What he does feels like too much, too soon: It’s okay to bring flowers on the first date- women love that. But if he’s going (way) above and beyond way too soon- let’s say, a $100 gift card to your favorite store before the first date- there may be a problem. He’s trying to win your love way too fast, and that’s definitely a needy sign!

10. Sweet talking: Oh this man will sweet talk you like no one else. This is the yang side of point 8, where he is willing to give you sweet talk as much as wants it from you. He will come up with the weirdest times for sweet talk. He is trying to reaffirm you that he really loves you – over and over and over again. All this is kind of sweet, yes, but dreaming of your future together just in the first weeks of being together? That is creepy. This means either he is utterly hooked onto you and has fantasized you for a very long time, or he is desperately in the need of a woman.

Have you ever been with a needy man? What were the signs?



  1. Avatar

    Driven crazy

    February 29, 2020 at 1:36 am

    Worst experience of my life. Guy called and asked for a date. He seemed surprised I didn’t know who he was – said we had a class together, named all these clubs he was in, on the student council. Well, la-di-da. I didn’t know him and asked how he got my number because it was unlisted. He said he volunteered in the school office and got my number out of student records. I thought that was creepy but I was only 15. I told him I wasnt allowed to date and hung up.

    I got home from school the next day and mom is all excited. He had had his mother call her and ask permission to date me! I told her I didnt even know him but she gushed over what a gentleman he is, this is so respectful, how sweet his mom called….,she told them of course I could go without even waiting to talk to me about it.

    So we went for pizza and a movie. I wasnt interested in him and thought that was the end of it, but he thought now he was my boyfriend! I told him again I’m really not allowef to date, this was a one-time and that was it. Mom got another phone call.

    I told her I wasnt interested in him but she was thrilled I finally had a social life – I was the bookworm type who wasnt interested in school dances or cheerleading or the crap my mom wanted me to do. She began helping this guy take over my life.

    He pasted himself to me at school. Every time I turned around there he was with that bashful aw shucks grin. He waited at the school bus for me. Notes in my locker. Right there at lunch. Called me several times in the evening.

    I told him I didnt want a boyfriend and please find someone else. He called mom sobbing while I was walking home to say goodbye to her, he was sorry he had t loved me enough…..

    I moved in with a relative who knew what was going on and what a control freak mom was, but my parents gave him their phone number and address. I got an after school job and was almost fired because he would not stop calling me there. He had mom convinced this was all my friends fault because they didnt like him (true, because they knew how miserable I was).

    Sometimes he would disappear for a few months but always turned up again. I rented an apt with a friend and she came home to find him mowing the lawn!

    This went on and on. I tried calling the police but they refused to do anything because he never threatened me or damaged property. I just could not get rid of him. One cop seemed to think it was a couples snit and said you can get rid of him if you REALLY wanted to. I think he may have talked to my parents…..t

    I had to move away when I turned 18 to escape. When mu mother died, though, I went to a visitation and my aunt mentioned she enjoyed meeting my boyfriend the day before. I asked what she was talking about and she said “the little guy with the glasses.” And I knew. He must have read her obit and showed up, introduced himself around as my boyfriend! I told everyone to keep him away from me. He did try to phone the funeral home and get my address “to send me a condolence letter” or some crap.

    He was certain we were meant to be, I was playing hard to get, needed convincing……I dont know. But dont count on the police to help with a stalker who is not threatening you somehow. I tried everything and finally moved away. Thank God that worked.

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 29, 2020 at 9:53 pm

      Thank you for sharing your experiences. It is certain that your comment will support many members of our community in the future. Sometimes, the best option is to move away from someone that makes you feel unsafe, especially if their behaviors indicate that they do not respect you or reality. Please share more of your supportive comments in the future.

  2. Avatar


    May 28, 2018 at 9:20 pm

    In the last two weeks Ive been told Iam becoming attached. That I seem to be needy. I had to look these terms up to get the full meaning. Not one person ever said this to me over my whole life. And now two people have laid this on me. I must make a change with this part of my personality. Real life rears its ugly head. I will learn.
    Glad I found your site to learn more about this issue. Ian

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 30, 2018 at 12:54 pm

      It sounds as though the people in your life are aware that you want to nourish a relationship with them. They may have different feelings and decided to call you needy. If you believe that your actions and behaviors need to be altered, then make changed in your life. Continue to share your positive energy with the world. Have a great day, Ian!

  3. Avatar

    Marie F

    April 7, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    I literally just dealt with someone who was turning into a stage 5 clinger. He was needy, he’d have meltdowns – if I didn’t reply fast enough or he didn’t feel that I wss giving him enough attention. He ended up killing any potential that could have been before it even happened by working my last nerve.

    This was the week he was due back for a visit that he planned prior to he and I getting to know one another. He is currently still working as a contractor in Iraq and comes to the states for 2 weeks out of a year, so this had little chance to survive as it was, but him doing the most is what killed it.

    Monday was a work day for me after an Easter three-day holiday weekend with Friday off, so it was busy. He’s messaging and messaging as he was off and there’s a 12 hour time difference. I explained that I was busy and after awhile he goes what made you so busy, why was it so hectic. I’m thinking that he must not recognize the time difference or even use common sense. He called that night around midnight and I messaged him on fb letting him know that I needed to sleep.

    Tuesday, he continues to message and message. Initially, I’d been open to continue to get to know him and meet face to face to assess things. However,the nonstop messages because he had nothing but time to waste as he was waiting on his passport.

    Wednesday, he messaged that they cleared his passport, but he wasn’t done bombing my inbox with nonstop messages and professing how much he cared and missed me, which got weird. At one point, he stated it and asked me if I knew how much he cared and missed me. When I didn’t really address it, he brought it up again and asked me to re-read it, which I got annoyed.

    Then within that span of an hour of him and his nonstop messages he asked if he could just hear my voice, which I had just got back to work and didn’t grasp the point of that after all of the nonstop messages. I was annoyed. He called anyways. That for me did it and let me know -he was doing way too much, didn’t care about my schedule, was way too needy, too clingy and very insecure, which was a complete turnoff.

    From that point, I just stopped talking to him, blocked his number. A day later he wrote me that he didn’t understand what was going on with the communication, to which I replied that I have a life and it’s not tied to him or being bombarded by his need for constant messaging. Men could learn from this – less is more in the beginning. Definitely do less with the texting, inboxing and save talking for actually communicating about making a date or plans – not to be annoying or creepy like this guy.

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 8, 2018 at 9:14 pm

      Thank you for sharing your experiences and your insights. It is certain that your comment help other people in the future. Allow this experience to influence your future relationships in a positive direction. Treat everyone in your life with kindness and compassion. Ensure that your relationships are built on mutual respect and trust. Have a great day, Marie!

  4. Avatar

    Sarah Keyes

    October 30, 2016 at 7:00 pm

    I was with one for 5 years ..when we 1st got together the 1st year was perfect..but as he got more comfortable with me..the things that I thought he was doing was to make me happy & was out of the kindness of his heart. He would tell me I was ungrateful, he would argue & scream at me …I would feel guilty for what I thought was right..He would never apologize to me when he was wrong ..when was i had to figure it out by myself he would do it with actions, but I dont think he loved me …I did he was just buying my love for his conveince someone better. 1st couple years we were together i made pretty much all the income in the home he did lawn care for his father which he didnt pay him but 10 or 20 bucks a yard..he was way behind on child support in out of jail on me all the time til the spring of 2014 the courts made him go on house arrest & find a job that was the only time he couold well he found a job..but he played this card with me that he will take care of me but I always felt guilty for him providing for me..I always had a thought he wasnt in love with me & that one day he would find better well he did & he found a another woman at his job who is married & he isnt divorced either I couldnt get him to even file it & as of July 22nd of this year 2016 we are not together I am hearing through sources that this next one he hasnt changed very much buy her love like he did me he is 39 years old lives with mommy & daddy he depends on woman to have the house, home etc when you talk to him about the future its too much monkey business for him…But honestly I am happy we are not together i am not on eggshells anymore & life for me is getting easier day by day i won the lottery leaving this man. I have my family back,friends my job is going alot better now men like this needy stuff are very verbally& mentally exhausting .

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 31, 2016 at 12:03 pm

      If you are not able to contact him on social media, then try to figure out another way to find him. If you want to speak with him, then do not let anything stop you. Your dreams are likely indications of your feelings for him, but who knows, it is possible that he wants to develop a relationship as well. Remain mindful and positive. Best wishes, DS!

  5. Avatar


    October 26, 2016 at 9:24 am

    I was in and out of a relationship with a. Needy man for 3.5 years. He told me he loved me after 2 weeks. After 1 month said he could see himself being married to me bought me a dismond bracelet for my burthday 3 months into it.

    I started dating my old boyfriend again and could not get rid of him. He’d show up crying saying you did this to me so you fix it. I felt horrible for him. I felt a motherly urge to guide him. Big mistake.

    He even bought me an $11,000 engagement ring to keep me away from the man I really love. After awhile I confused his neediness with true love and feelings. He made me just as insane as him by letting him hang around and thinking what can it hurt

    It hurts they sweet talk you and romance you like your never going to get again. The will tell you they will die a lonely man if you dont marry them because they could only love you.

    Then they argue over you showing up 5 minutes lste for dinner and tell you to just stay home and forget it.

    You realize that you can never spend a life with someone like this and you leave. Do they never date again because its only you? No they move on and look for the next victim to fill their empty black hole and when they find one they Dont remember you.

    • web admin

      web admin

      October 26, 2016 at 3:13 pm

      Thank you for sharing your insights and experience. It is certain that someone will be helped because of your comment. Feel free to contribute in the future as your comment certainly has supported our community now and in the future. Remain positive and enjoy life, Ann!

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