10 Signs He Wants A Relationship

By on October 4, 2013

Here’s an age-old problem: It is hard to read men. But, that’s why this article is here for you to read today to help you decide if your man is ready for that next step. Determining the difference between a guy who is ready for a relationship and a guy who is just messing around can be really tough. But, when you break it down- it’s not that difficult at all! You just have to know what to be watching out for. Here are 10 signs that a guy wants a relationship:

 

Sign #1.) A guy who pays attention to you is a guy who may just be ready for the next step. Men aren’t truly attentive creatures unless with someone or something they really care very deeply for. So, if you’re boy has been displaying quite a bit of his attention towards you, you may have a winner! But, how can you tell? Well: He will look at you and make eye contact you when he is talking or when you’re talking. He will ask you questions and always reply when you two are conversing. He will always try to relate and be involved fully into your discussion. He will also ask you for his input when it comes to him talking to you.

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Sign #2.) A guy who wants to get to know you on a personal level may be ready to have a real relationship with you. Men don’t usually waste their time getting to know people they don’t have future intentions with. If he is trying to get to know you he won’t just ask, “How’s your day been going?” or “What do you do for a living?” He will go deeper and ask you what you like or dislike about your job, what your hobbies are, favorite foods, music and he might ask about your family or past relationships. If this guy is intrigued, he’ll most likely try to get to know everything about you.

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Sign #3.) If he is ready to be your boyfriend he won’t keep hanging around other girls. Let’s forget about his sister, his mom and maybe that best friend he’s had since preschool… No, I’m talking about all the other girls that he flirted with before or that try to flirt with him now. He will put an end to that or just ignore them. He will, all in all, stop paying attention to all girls that aren’t you!

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Signs #4.) Does your favorite guy keep you in the loop about his future plans? Good! He may  just be ready for commitment then! Guys only keep girls they considered a big part of their lives in their personal loops. If he does let you know about what his work schedule looks like, if he is taking any vacation or if he is going out of town or to an event, then he probably considers you more than just a friend.

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Signs #5.) He should be a shoulder to cry on at all times, if he’s relationship ready.  If a guy is always there for you and is a constant shoulder to lean on- you have found your future boyfriend. No matter what, he will always try to be there for you. He will give you his best advice when you ask for it, he will bring the tissues when you are sad and he’ll always try to cheer you up when you are feeling down. Keep in mind, though, that if he is ready for you to be his girlfriend, he will expect you to have the same shoulder to lean on for him!

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Sign #6.) A man ready for a relationship with you will make sure you are involved with his family and close friends. He will do everything he can to get you guys to meet and know each other and he will also do his best to get you to like each other. You all liking each other is very important to him and if he is trying to make that happen then he is definitely ready for that next step. A guy only brings a girlfriend-type of girl home to his family.

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Sign #7.) A relationship-ready fella will display his trust towards you. He will treasure your thoughts and opinions about his decisions and what you have to say altogether. He will respect your advice.

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Signs #8.) Patience is something huge to look out for when trying to figure out if a guy is ready for a relationship or not. If your guy doesn’t spend his time rushing you into anything, whether it be skydiving, running away to mexico, trying sushi or …. well, you know! A man who is patient with you, waits for you to be ready and respects the pace you want to take with things,  is a man ready to make you his girlfriend.

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Signs #9.) You can tell a guy is ready for a relationship if he is trying to spend a lot of quality time with you. That means he is spending more than 1o minutes at a time with you. It means that he doesn’t just come around to sleep with you and that you see him in broad daylight. A guy ready to date won’t mind running errands with you or going out in public with you- he will actually enjoy spending any time with you!

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Sign #10.) Any guy who looks at a girl as girlfriend-material, will keep in good contact with her. He will consistently message, call or text you everyday. He will reply to your texts or messages right away (unless he really is busy), but he won’t keep you waiting for long. He will make you a priority and make sure you stay in touch.

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117 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Mrs Jones

    May 29, 2017 at 11:30 am

    I really like this guy who I met recently through unfortunate circumstances. He’s a police officer and I really felt like he was flirting with me. He seemed nervous and his sat with his legs wide open in front of me. He asked me how I thought he was doing on the job? When I leaned back he did. He asked me what I thought of how he looked in his uniform? He actually mentioned on more than one occassion because he said its hot and stuffy? He told me even though hes known me a short while he’s become very fond of me. That’s after I said he’s just being nice to because he has to, but he proclaimed clearly that he really didn’t. He was insanely gorgeous and it’s hard to believe he would like me especially in the state I was in. He mirrored everything I did. He was happy when I mentioned I had a crush on Tom Selleck he kinda blushed and said he didn’t know I had such exquisite taste. He is 7 years younger than me. I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again but I haven’t felt this way in a long time and I think it was a shock to my system. I doubt he’ll call me as it may be against police rules but he has my number when the officers had to track me down when I was in a bad state.
    Maybe he was being friendly I don’t know…but we got to talk quite a bit about random stuff.
    I really hope I get to see him again.
    I really really liked him.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 29, 2017 at 1:05 pm

      It sounds like he may have liked you too, although it may have been a conflict of interest (or at least discouraged) for him to do anything about it. As for seeing him again, I don’t know. I doubt that he is allowed to just use the phone number in your file, so you may have to hope for some good luck to bring you together again. Best of luck, Mrs. Jones!

  2. Avatar

    oreofe

    May 28, 2017 at 7:19 am

    Good day. There is this guy three years ahead in school but now a graduate. We met at a certain place and we got talking. During lectures then we just say hi and move in to our respective classes. After he graduated, he usually call and we talk on phone. We no longer talk on phone as usual but we do chat. He has been disturbing me now for about three years that he loves me and wants us to be in a relationship. I once told him no, still he persists and I just ignore his messages. He is still disturbing me till now. About two years ago when he told me he was interested in me he also told me he had a girlfriend then and I assumed he was unseriousness. Really I don’t know what to do or say again because he is really pestering me. And it’s been years we saw ourselves. He doesn’t even know what I look like now and he is telling me he loves me like. I need an advice please

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 28, 2017 at 11:34 am

      If he keeps bothering you, just stop talking to him. You can block him online and block his messages in your email. If you do not like him or want to be friends, there is no reason to continue receiving his messages or responding to them. He obviously hasn’t listened to you when you told him how you feel, so you may have to just block him from your life. Good luck, Oreofe!

  3. Avatar

    Clarise

    May 23, 2017 at 10:42 am

    At this stage I’m wondering what could be busy going on between me and my close male friend. We’ve been friends for the past four years but have known him for about 7 years in total.
    Now I would like to ask a few questions and hear what your thoughts is on them.
    If a guy tells people that we are only close friends what are the chances of him doing the following:
    1. Phoning me once a week and us talking for about 2 hours over the phone during the time that I am out of town, basically non verbally letting me not phone him;
    2. Carrying my bags for me without me having to ask;
    3. Letting me go before him, i.e. at a shop at checkout point;
    4. Informing me days in advance about anything that should prohibit us from spending time together over the weekend as we usually do;
    5. Occasionally staring at me, sometimes looking away when I ask what he’s thinking;
    6. Recently bought himself a bicycle in order for us to get fit together and participate in events together in the future, I guess also to save on gas expenses;
    7. Why would he ask me on three consecutive times one week apart from each other the same question relating to whether my father would accompany me and my mom when returning home, where I have given him the same answer on each of those occasions?;
    8. Give me a goodbye hug, sometimes coupled with a gentle back rub; and
    8. Picking me up from and dropping me off at home.
    Now apart from the above I’ve had people very recently, like within the last month, ask me whether we’re an item and also saying that they think we should be an item. Some even referred to him as my husband. Furthermore have had different people about a year ago all allude to him “popping the question” and us moving in together and so forth, one of them being my father who, when I confront him with what he knows and so forth, still denies any knowledge about anything. However up till now nothing has happened along those lines … Is it also normal for me to feel uneasy about other women who deliberately try to show off their chest area (breasts) by the way they appear in public? So I would appreciate it if you can please give me your thoughts on what I have mentioned above.

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 23, 2017 at 12:08 pm

      To me, it sounds like he likes you. He has gone above and beyond what a normal friend does–how many of your friend girls buy a bicycle just so that they can help you get fit? It sounds to me like he likes you. He probably tells people that he is not interested in you as anything more than a friend because he does not want you finding out. In addition, he may be afraid that he would lose the friendship with you that he currently has if he were to tell you how he feels. Unfortunately, you may have the same problem. While it seems like he probably has a major crush on you, you would be taking a slight risk with the friendship. If it were me, I would just tell him how you feel and let him know that you want to be friends no matter how he responds.

  4. Avatar

    Baby

    May 22, 2017 at 10:36 am

    My guy friend suddenly ask a question about that i have a boyfriend or not? Is that mean he is in love with me?

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 22, 2017 at 12:20 pm

      It is probably too soon for him to be in love with you, but he may like you. If he is curious about whether you are single or not, then he is probably interested in you on some level. Now, you just have to figure out if you like him back and if you want to make a move. Good luck, Baby!

  5. Avatar

    Casper

    May 2, 2017 at 12:08 pm

    Hi ! I would like to have some input on my case. I have known this guy for about two months or so and within the first week of knowing each other, he had asked me out for movie which I accepted and within the first 2 weeks, he would initiate conversations via texts, but it wasn’t daily. For your information, he is working in my college and we have a 6 years age gap. I am currently 18 whereas he is 24.

    He would ask me out for dinner often, and him being the gentleman, he would always insist to drop me off home despite it being inconvenient for him. Also, he would do things that seems as if he is interested in me, for example, wiping rice off the corner of my mouth, putting his arms around my shoulder and pull me in close while we were walking, tickles me a lot, feeding me his food and so on. Oh and when his colleague teased him in front of the both of us, saying things like ” Just tell her if you are interested in her, man ! ” and telling me how good of a boyfriend he would be, he didn’t deny or seem to mind what his colleague said. Afterwards, he even pulled me in close when we were parting ways, in front of his colleague.

    There was also this one time where I was fooling around with him by verbally teasing him and he walked towards me, I thought he was about to tickle me so I held my hand up, palm facing him and was in a defense stance. To my surprise, he intertwined his fingers with mine and when both our hands drop, it still lingered on for quite a while and we acted as if what happened was normal. This ‘ hand holding ‘ thing happened twice.

    It really does seem….unusual but I am doubtful since he doesn’t initiate conversations on texts and when if he does, it’s to ask me out for dinner after his work or to schedule dance practice. Hence I would like to know your opinion on this, whether he has interest in me and so on. Your help would be much appreciated !

    • web admin

      web admin

      May 2, 2017 at 12:16 pm

      Do not concern yourself with age. If the two of you are comfortable, then that is all that is needed. He is certainly interested in developing a relationship with you. There is no question that he wants something more. Speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. He likely will share his mind with you as well. Have a great day, Casper!

  6. Avatar

    Clarise

    April 29, 2017 at 8:49 am

    Hi. I just want to get someone else’s objective opinion on my current situation.
    I have this close male friend. We’ve been seeing each other once a week where we would participate in the same sport, he would carry my sportsbag together with his own, he most of the time listens to what I have to say, gently rubs my back, we would hug when we see each other in the morning and when saying goodbye, just to name a few things.
    We’ve been separated now for about 7 months while I was out of town, during which periods we had telephonic contact once a week for over an hour everytime and he initiated most of the calls.
    Now since I came back he has helped me move, even went as far as to get himself a bicycle, as I already had my own bicycle, for us both to get fit and ultimately in future rather use the bicycle instead of the car to get to our weekly sporting event together and also to participate in cycling events all over the country.
    Whilst I am getting the idea that this is all indicative of us being way more than just friends (or close friends for that matter), I will however appreciate someone else’s objective view and opinion on this.

    • web admin

      web admin

      April 29, 2017 at 1:21 pm

      He is interested in developing a relationship with you. He touches you and tries to spend additional time with you. Be bought a bicycle to be with you. Give him a phone call and see if he wants to spend more time with you. If you have time, try to go out with him somewhere new. Perhaps a bike ride through nature or out to a meal. He will certainly be all for it. Have a great day, Clarise!

  7. Avatar

    FieryBlaze

    March 16, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    Hi, was wondering if I could get some advice. I’ve developed a work crush over the last few months and haven’t long gotten out of a 4 year relationship. The guy I have a crush on has been showing me positive signs that he’s attracted to me too but for some reason, I just can’t suss out how he feels. He makes every excuse to be close to me and helps me out at work. He also teases me in a playful, non-sexual way but there is definitely flirting going on. Everyone else at work sees how we behave around each other and questions our working relationship but he denies that anything is going on. He shows me all these positive signs and yet still says that I’m too young for him (there’s a 16 year age gap between us). We don’t contact each other outside of work. I’m too embarrassed to ask him or anyone else for advice or how he feels towards me. Not only do I need advice on how to approach the situation, I also need a second opinion on whether it’s acceptable to allow the relationship to progress into something more than a working relationship. The guys we work with have mentioned that he and I should go out on a date. So I think they will be open to the idea. But I’m unsure of how to approach the next step of letting him know how I feel without making things awkward at work.
    Thank you in advance. Sorry it’s so long.

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 18, 2017 at 12:15 am

      Your best option is to speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Explain to him that you are not concerned about the age difference between the two of you and that you are willing to try out your relationship. He may be interested in spending time with you. As the two of you spend more time together, he may change his feelings about the age gap. Have a great day, Blaze!

  8. Avatar

    FieryBlaze

    March 16, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    Hi, was wondering if I could get some advice. I’ve developed a work crush over the last few months and haven’t long gotten out of a 4 year relationship. The guy I have a crush on has been showing me positive signs that he’s attracted to me too but for some reason, I just can’t suss out how he feels. He makes every excuse to be close to me and helps me out at work. He also teases me in a playful, non-sexual way but there is definitely flirting going on. Everyone else at work sees how we behave around each other and questions our working relationship but he denies that anything is going on. He shows me all these positive signs and yet still says that I’m too young for him (there’s a 16 year age gap between us). We don’t contact each other outside of work. I’m too embarrassed to ask him or anyone else for advice or how he feels towards me. Not only do I need advice on how to approach the situation, I also need a second opinion on whether it’s acceptable to allow the relationship to progress into something more than a working relationship. The guys we work with have mentioned that he and I should go out on a date. So I think they will be open to the idea. But I’m unsure of how to approach the next step of letting him know how I feel without making things awkward at work.

    Thank you in advance. Sorry it’s so long.

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 18, 2017 at 12:15 am

      Your best option is to speak with him about your thoughts and feelings. Explain to him that you are not concerned about the age difference between the two of you and that you are willing to try out your relationship. He may be interested in spending time with you. As the two of you spend more time together, he may change his feelings about the age gap. Have a great day, Blaze!

    • Avatar

      Brandy

      May 24, 2017 at 8:08 pm

      Hi FieryBlaze, I’m in a similar circumstance and almost the same age difference! He jokes with me at work a bit and we give each other these looks but I’m having trouble deciphering whether they are lustful or hateful. In the last few months we haven’t had much opportunity to speak during work hours but I catch him watching me out of the corner of my eye…? I’m terrible at reading moods and lack social graces. Does anyon have advice to offer? How did your conversation with your colleague go?

      • web admin

        web admin

        May 25, 2017 at 9:16 am

        I am not sure how you should respond to him just yet. The basic first step would be to just start a conversation with him because you will be better able to read his mannerisms and find out if he is interested in you. Otherwise, I’m not sure if it is a good idea to make a move since you aren’t sure if he really likes you or really dislikes you. 🙁 Good luck, Brandy!

  9. Avatar

    ASF.

    March 8, 2017 at 10:45 am

    I am a married woman with a son having a strained married life. I am in a relation with a married man, whose divorce case is in court. Our relationship started even before
    he got married. Once he texted me that he loves me. After few days he said that message was sent when he was drunk and does not remember
    anything.
    When I questioned him whether he has
    any such feeling for me he simply
    ignored my question and said he loves my son. What does it mean ? He calls me daily. But ignores me a lot when he is busy with his friends and family. I dnt know what he actually have for me ?please help

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 8, 2017 at 2:14 pm

      By the sound of it, the two of you have already filed divorce paperwork. This is for the best. He may still care for you and be interested in you, but he has chosen to not treat you with respect. When he sends you messages in the future, tell him that he should reach out to your son. Perhaps offer more opportunities for them to be together, but emotionally separate yourself from your ex husband. Best of luck, ASF!

  10. Avatar

    ASF

    March 8, 2017 at 10:42 am

    I am a married woman with a son having a strained married life. I am in a relation with a married man, whose divorce case is in court. Our relationship started even before
    he got married. Once he texted me that he loves me. After few days he said that message was sent when he was drunk and does not remember
    anything.
    When I questioned him whether he has
    any such feeling for me he simply
    ignored my question and said he loves my son. What does it mean ? He calls me daily. But ignores me a lot when he is busy with his friends and family. I dnt know what he actually have for me ?please help

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 8, 2017 at 2:14 pm

      By the sound of it, the two of you have already filed divorce paperwork. This is for the best. He may still care for you and be interested in you, but he has chosen to not treat you with respect. When he sends you messages in the future, tell him that he should reach out to your son. Perhaps offer more opportunities for them to be together, but emotionally separate yourself from your ex husband. Best of luck, ASF!

  11. Avatar

    Ree

    March 5, 2017 at 3:37 pm

    Hi there’s a guy that’s persuing me for a few months. I really like him we’ve been out a few times and get along well. My problem is (well he did explain from the onset that he is busy but he doesn’t even call. All we do is chat. Yes I get that he is busy but somehow I feel like I’m wasting my time on him…. What should I do

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 6, 2017 at 9:28 am

      He could just be busy or he may not be that interested. If he has been pursuing you for months though, it sounds more likely than not that he does like you. He did go out of his way to explain that he is busy, so that may be the simple explanation. As long as you like him and see a potential future in the relationship, keep dating him. If you do not think that it will ultimately end up working out, then you may want to just move on.

  12. Avatar

    Brenda

    March 2, 2017 at 8:59 am

    A guy told me he likes me but he isn’t asking me out and I also like him am always thinking about him what should I do

    • web admin

      web admin

      March 2, 2017 at 2:27 pm

      He may not have known how you felt about him and was concerned about your reaction if he had asked you out. He probably wants to develop a relationship with you. Your best option is to speak directly and honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings. This will make sure that your relationship has a chance to grow and flourish. Best of luck, Brenda!

  13. Avatar

    BeybeLoves

    February 27, 2017 at 9:40 pm

    hi, can i ask you something? but i want it to be private. I wanna know how. Thankyou for your response! Godbless.

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 28, 2017 at 11:15 am

      You can ask anything you like over the comments. If you are not comfortable with sharing your name, then use one that is not real. Have a great day, Beybe!

  14. Avatar

    Brenda Brisco

    February 27, 2017 at 8:05 pm

    Use to date this guy 20 years ago, last at this time we start back talking. He is a married man, but we spend a lot of time together he call me everyday,plus stay at my house a lots. But we never had sex since we started back talking. How should I handle this.

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 28, 2017 at 11:10 am

      Explain to him that you do not want to develop a relationship with him and that you are concerned that his frequent visits may damage his relationship with his wife. Perhaps it would be best for you to spend time with him and his wife together. You will want to support their relationship at this time. If their relationship naturally fails, then you can feel positive that you did not seek to damage their otherwise healthy and happy relationship. Have a good day, Brenda.

  15. Avatar

    Taqi

    February 15, 2017 at 3:09 pm

    What does it mean if a girl said to me she wants chances?

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 15, 2017 at 6:50 pm

      She is either talking about her desire to have a chance with you. Meaning that she wants to develop a relationship with you. Or she is talking about how she wants chances in life. Meaning that she wants to experience what the world has to offer. Determine what you want for your future with her. Best of luck, Taqi!

  16. Avatar

    Amanda

    February 10, 2017 at 11:47 am

    I be seeing this guy for 3 week now and not sure if thing are rushing. We both live 2 hours away in different town our first date went well he drive 2 hours to ask me on a date then we got on so well after our date he texting and ringing me every day spending weekend with him watching movie and doing a bucket list of thing we can do together and he include my children and he made plan for me to go to south Australia with him to be with he family celebrating that they have once a year and now he talking about looking for house for me to live with him with my son and daughter when he come back from his holiday he going on that he arrange before he met me. but I be thinking where this relationship going when I ask him he stated he just want to be friend does he want more or are thing rushing to quickly

    • web admin

      web admin

      February 11, 2017 at 9:21 am

      Allow the relationship to move at the speed that you want it to move at. There is no reason to rush if you do not feel comfortable. Perhaps explain to him that you want to be with him, but you want to move a little slower. If he does not understand that, then maybe he isn’t the right person. If he does, then your relationship will move the speed that you want it to go. Best of luck, Amanda!

      • Avatar

        Amanda

        February 11, 2017 at 12:02 pm

        Thank you that help a lot it just took a big load off me ?

        • web admin

          web admin

          February 12, 2017 at 9:37 am

          You are welcome. Have a great day, Amanda!

  17. Avatar

    Rebecca

    January 17, 2017 at 8:24 pm

    I’ve been single for 3 years now, and it’s hard to tell if the man I’ve been seeing is wanting a relationship with me or considers us just friends. He drives me around on errands, he helped build my elliptical, took me out to a movie, which all seem like he’s interested but the long silence between texts, he won’t give me his actual number just BBM. Talks a lot about his schooling and not much about my day, and shows little interest in the son.

    I hate not knowing, in high school boys just asked you to be their gf, as an adult in my 30s it’s more difficult to tell where they stand.

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 18, 2017 at 11:25 am

      If he is not willing to give you his number, then he may be in a relationship or he may have another reason to not give you this number. You should speak directly with him about your concerns. Also, if he shows no interest in your son, then perhaps you should not seek him as a future partner. You need someone who will be there for your child. Remain positive and good luck, Rebecca!

  18. Avatar

    Jessica

    January 11, 2017 at 2:53 am

    I really gained something here. Thanks a lot. But I get scared of men’s reaction a times. They show some love today and tomorrow they are off. Gets me thinking if he truly loves you.

    • web admin

      web admin

      January 11, 2017 at 11:00 am

      Thank you for sharing your positive comment. We love seeing that our articles are helping people to establish strong relationships. If you find that you are confused about his feelings, then your best option is to speak with him directly. .He can not read your mind and he does not know what you need. Best of luck, Jessica!

  19. Avatar

    Gabby

    December 25, 2016 at 8:18 am

    I’ve been seeing a guy since November and we have been on 4 dates. We live in different cities that are an hour away from each other by train. When we’re together we get on really well and have good chemistry and I can see things going somewhere. He told me on our last date that he’d missed me and likes me a lot. He’s paid for us to do nice things and has been quite generous. However, he doesn’t contact me much in between dates. He might leave it as long as 4/5 days between texts, which makes me question whether he’s THAT into me? He’ll often say something like ‘I’ll give you a buzz next week about making plans for Saturday’ which makes me think he is not keen on small talk/daily contact. However, he does initiate making plans for us to see each other again which makes me think that he IS interested. I still have a few insecurities from my previous relationship and I don’t want to let that negatively affect a potential new one. But I also don’t want to be messed around and get hurt either. I feel like I need to play hard to get and wait for him to pursue me but I also doesn’t want him to think I’m not interested. Any advice?

    • web admin

      web admin

      December 25, 2016 at 9:39 am

      I would not read too much into it yet. It sounds like he is not into small talk, texts or phone calls. He does go an hour out of his way to take a train to see you, so he is obviously interested in you. Since you just started the relationship together, he may just be trying to get to know you better and not bother you while the relationship progresses. It sounds like he genuinely likes you (and also genuinely does not like using phones), so I would relax, not worry about it and enjoy the relationship. Good luck, Gabby!

  20. Avatar

    Lillian

    November 6, 2016 at 6:30 pm

    I’ve been best friends with a guy since 6th grade when he moved here (we’re in 9th now), and I’ve liked him since then, too. Well, actually, I liked him from 6th until 8th when he got a girlfriend, then continued to not like him until he asked me to a school dance at the beginning of this school year.

    And I don’t mean he just asked me and we went. I mean he bribed me into going. I was really shocked when he asked (because I was used to our platonic relationship, and hadn’t had feelings for him in almost year, so I thought he was kidding), and I went “No!” to his face and all the other kids around us. He then said something like, “You’d probably make me do something to go with you.” And I was like, “Shit, maybe he wasn’t joking” So I made a deal with him and went.

    We enjoyed ourselves, and he spent at most half an hour away from me, unlike with his other dates (Where he spent the entire time against a wall refusing to dance with his girlfriend until like, the fourth time they went.). He also asked me to dance, but I had no idea how tf to dance (or which of the 20 million slow-dance positions he meant), so I said I didn’t know how.

    After that he paid a lot of attention to me, and I made sure to give him some, too. I even slept on him on the bus (which he invited me to do) and I asked if I was being annoying, he said no.

    Now he’s dating my cousin, but openly admits that it’s awkward. Now, most people that know us both, or even just me (and hear me talk about him) ship it HARD. A lot of them want us in a relationship more than they want themselves in their own relationships. They say we just “click,” and that it’s an “opposites attract” kind of thing because even though we share a lot of things (like music tastes, activities, and even have the same favourite colours), I’m the “smart-one” and he’s the “dumb-one.” He’s not even stupid, he just doesn’t like school work, so he doesn’t do it. The girl that gave that reason said that another reason she ships us is that we can’t stay mad at each other for long. Sure, we get mad every now and then, and we argue, but we’ve never stayed mad for very long.

    My one friend, though, has been getting information for me, and is trying (of her own accord, I jokingly mentioned it, and she was like, “I already planned on doing that”) to get him to break up with his girlfriend. She’s not really playing “dirty,” though.
    She got him to admit to my face (well, the back of my head, but he knew I was there. He’d been bugging me the entire football game and I was literally less than an inch away from him.) that he’d date me “under certain circumstances,” and that his relationships are “always awkward.” I used the opportunity to ask, “Are they awkward because YOU’RE awkward or because you’re dating all the wrong people?” and he said, simply, “Yes.” He kept messing with me the whole first half of the game.
    He also didn’t take kindly to me showing attraction to another person that night. He didn’t really react until I rolled off his knee and onto my other friend while I was talking about the other person (The friend was not the person, but I think he might have been upset because he thought I was joking at first, but then when I actually stopped paying attention to him, realised I was being semi-serious.).

    I literally cannot tell if he likes me or not. Sure, him saying he’d probably date me is a pretty good sign, but I don’t know if he meant a serious relationship or not. And if he’s able to say something like that while in a relationship, I don’t even know if he’d be a worthwhile partner. I know, I know, “I’m only in 9th grade,” but I don’t want some three month relationship. That doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest.
    I have never been in a relationship before because I have never been attracted to someone’s personality enough to like them. I can look at a few boys in my grade and appreciate their face, but I don’t feel attracted to them in the least. I don’t understand the casual relationships my peers get into. They have no purpose other than a status on facebook.
    You can imagine it was pretty surprising when a boy moved to my school and I instantly knew we’d be friends. I didn’t really think I would LIKE him. I’d never liked anyone that way before, and I didn’t like the feeling (pun intended) at all.

    Oh, and I feel like I should mention that he seems to bring up his girlfriend anytime I’m around. He’ll ask for a phone when he wants to take a picture of her and him, and he’ll mention that he does “this” or “this” with her, and watches my face when he says it. He also looks at me a lot (even if it requires an odd position to do it. Like extreme leaning).

    But now I can’t tell if he only wants a friendship, or if there might be something else. Is it even worth it? I (and practically every person I’ve met) think it’s worth a try. Most of those people openly despise his relationship with my cousin, and say they’re a bad match. I agree, but I don’t know if we’re being biased because we ship me and the boy.
    I really can’t tell if I should even bother. I hear crushes aren’t supposed to last 3 years (I say 3 because I noticed that even when I was being “completely platonic” with him, I still liked him. I just didn’t want to because I assumed he didn’t like me.), but maybe I’m just super attached and/or desperate. The idea repulses me. Actually, I don’t like the idea of liking someone, but apparently people like having relationships with people they like. I wouldn’t know the feeling.
    Opinions?

    • web admin

      web admin

      November 7, 2016 at 3:23 pm

      While the two of you have a long history and the two of you are friends, he is in a relationship with someone else. Do not try to attempt to break them up for your own personal gain. Do not have your friends attempt to damage his relationship. No good can come from such actions. You will lose the trust of your cousin and other people of your social group. You may lose the respect of the person that you are interested in. You may also have other negative fruits come back to you in the future as a result. At this time is would be wise of you to take this as an opportunity to look inward and determine what you truly want and desire. Look at the consequences of those feels, and determine what you should do in light of those truths. Remain positive as you move forward. Have a great week, Lillian!

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